Table of Contents
The NEW Improbable Island Wiki is at https://wiki.improbableisland.com. This is the OLD Improbable Island Wiki, and you can't touch it, nyah.
In 2023 we did a server move, and decided to salvage the Wiki from the wreckage of the Enquirer. The old wiki, having existed in an extremely buggy and borderline-usable state for several years, was pretty out of date - our choices were to either bring back the wiki as it was and give ourselves a lot of out-of-date info to clean up, or preserve the old wiki for historical purposes and let folk copy-paste the still-useful stuff into a brand new shiny wiki. Following consultation with the Beasts of Banter, we decided the split-Wiki approach was the best way to blah blah blah whatever, what would a politician say, bring Improbable Island forward into a bright new future while preserving our heritage and history, something like that.
Anyway this is read-only so you can't change any pages, the cringey bollocks you wrote in 2009 is here forever now, good thing we told you not to put your real name on it huh, eat shit facebook
Welcome to Madness1)! This is Improbable Island's how-to-play Wiki.2)3)4)5) Here, you'll find a labyrinth of misinformation about the game in a delicious 50/50 black forest cakemix of true tales and the taller kind 6). So grab your ball of string, tie it tight to your nearest sturdy item of furniture and get ready for a ramble through a maze of Dunbernarding proportions.
AND IF YOU'RE NEW
Read this. READ THIS. Believe us, this section's pages are very important. We know it's confusing, first off, to be faced with all these billions of pages flapping around in your face like broken-hearted pigeons on steroids, but we promise that a quick whiz7) through the next three in this section is going to be Very Good For You.8)9)10)
- How to Win Friends and Influence Roleplayers And, if you're going to roleplay on the Island, read this also!
- Advanced Roleplaying And when you're done reading that one, you should have a look at this as well!
- After you've finished with the basics of roleplaying, it's time to get acquainted with the setting and backstory of Improbable Island, known as the Canon.
- How to Greet Rookies For when you're settled in a bit and want to pass on the friendly vibes.
Quick Lists to Interesting Places
Here are things you might want to read if you want to know what a Zolotisty is, or where not to sleep for the night, or why those people have many more arms than you, or why you've been dropped naked into the middle of an outpost, or even what the hell a Chat Channel is. These links are for you, for when you need details on anything, you want to get a grip on how people write or you just feel like enjoying a few scenes we've hijacked into existence for your visual delectation. Flit around! It's all there for your well-being and general warm fuzzies.
- The Scene Index is where we list most of the madder stories. Or just the ones we've remembered to scrape up and put down.
- This list is where many characters are paired with their biographies. Feel free to add your own.
- Here are the mods chanting in unison!
- And HERE is a record of most of the Places on the Island.
- This page is the Clans page, the list of all the clans on the island. Useful, no?
- Snippets of the best roleplaying.
- Titles and what they signify!
- History Mister Stern doesn't know. A compendium of the major events of the Island that aren't recorded in the NewHome Museum.
- Outposts The towns!
- Races A mostly reliable listing of Who is What.
- Food, (Nom nom!) What all those funny numbers in restaurants mean. How it all works.
- Meat The list of what gives you the finest cuts, and the worst.
- Monster List A possibly reliable listing of What is What.
- Monthly Mementos list for those curious what those things in the Fancy Shoebox do.
- Mighty Magpie Cards A list of the cards in the world's greatest Island fan-art project that you can actually play games with.
- Quests The in-game quests Dan doesn't send you on. WARNING: canon plot spoilers!
- Been gone a while? Check out What's New!
Feel like Wiki-ing?
It's not too difficult to set up an account at the Enquirer, and once you have one, you can edit, add to, vandalize or change this page and any others in any fashion you see fit. Check out this page for instructions on how to edit a page; then try your hand at editing one here. Please bear in mind that you'll have to decide for yourself how much truth any individual page contains. The Wiki of Lies25) is like that.
Use the Sitemap in the bottom right corner as a reference guide when you're creating a page, so you don't go creating multiple pages that contain the same info (such as Housing vs. Dwellings, Cake vs. The Cake).27) Pages are indexed in the Sitemap automatically.
A sampling of delightful topics!
<note important>Links! Green! Red! Other red! Half-assed efforts and unobtainable ambitions! Pointless references to songs and/or poems! In-jokes that don't make any sense anymore! Memes from 2008!</note>
- Roleplaying A list of large-scale plots people have, and have had going in the game.
And that's just a small slice of what we have to offer! Here's your ball of string, there's your own personal labyrinth of
Crete Crate,30) and there's your sanity. You can wear it like a hat as you explore. Enjoy!