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The NEW Improbable Island Wiki is at This is the OLD Improbable Island Wiki, and you can't touch it, nyah.

In 2023 we did a server move, and decided to salvage the Wiki from the wreckage of the Enquirer. The old wiki, having existed in an extremely buggy and borderline-usable state for several years, was pretty out of date - our choices were to either bring back the wiki as it was and give ourselves a lot of out-of-date info to clean up, or preserve the old wiki for historical purposes and let folk copy-paste the still-useful stuff into a brand new shiny wiki. Following consultation with the Beasts of Banter, we decided the split-Wiki approach was the best way to blah blah blah whatever, what would a politician say, bring Improbable Island forward into a bright new future while preserving our heritage and history, something like that.

Anyway this is read-only so you can't change any pages, the cringey bollocks you wrote in 2009 is here forever now, good thing we told you not to put your real name on it huh, eat shit facebook

Oh no!

Welcome to Madness1)! This is Improbable Island's how-to-play Wiki.2)3)4)5) Here, you'll find a labyrinth of misinformation about the game in a delicious 50/50 black forest cakemix of true tales and the taller kind 6). So grab your ball of string, tie it tight to your nearest sturdy item of furniture and get ready for a ramble through a maze of Dunbernarding proportions.


Read this. READ THIS. Believe us, this section's pages are very important. We know it's confusing, first off, to be faced with all these billions of pages flapping around in your face like broken-hearted pigeons on steroids, but we promise that a quick whiz7) through the next three in this section is going to be Very Good For You.8)9)10)

  • Advanced Roleplaying And when you're done reading that one, you should have a look at this as well!
  • After you've finished with the basics of roleplaying, it's time to get acquainted with the setting and backstory of Improbable Island, known as the Canon.

And when you're done to death with the wiki, head over to the Forum of Filth 16) and see what the argument of the day happens to be17)18)!

Quick Lists to Interesting Places

Here are things you might want to read if you want to know what a Zolotisty is, or where not to sleep for the night, or why those people have many more arms than you, or why you've been dropped naked into the middle of an outpost, or even what the hell a Chat Channel is. These links are for you, for when you need details on anything, you want to get a grip on how people write or you just feel like enjoying a few scenes we've hijacked into existence for your visual delectation. Flit around! It's all there for your well-being and general warm fuzzies.

Feel like Wiki-ing?

It's not too difficult to set up an account at the Enquirer, and once you have one, you can edit, add to, vandalize or change this page and any others in any fashion you see fit. Check out this page for instructions on how to edit a page; then try your hand at editing one here. Please bear in mind that you'll have to decide for yourself how much truth any individual page contains. The Wiki of Lies25) is like that.

So! Make some pages. Soon26). Don't forget to lie.

Use the Sitemap in the bottom right corner as a reference guide when you're creating a page, so you don't go creating multiple pages that contain the same info (such as Housing vs. Dwellings, Cake vs. The Cake).27) Pages are indexed in the Sitemap automatically.

A sampling of delightful topics!

<note important>Links! Green! Red! Other red! Half-assed efforts and unobtainable ambitions! Pointless references to songs and/or poems! In-jokes that don't make any sense anymore! Memes from 2008!</note>

  • Roleplaying A list of large-scale plots people have, and have had going in the game.
  • Enquirer, for if you ever get curious about what it is, exactly, that you are holding. It's a half-assed collection of lies printed to obfuscate the true whereabouts of the Enquirer's staff full of immutable facts.

And that's just a small slice of what we have to offer! Here's your ball of string, there's your own personal labyrinth of Crete Crate,30) and there's your sanity. You can wear it like a hat as you explore. Enjoy!

-Gasp- I'm already mad!
Are you sure about that?
No, you're going to learn how to play Improbable Island, not how to play Wiki, you idiot.
But I want to learn how to play wiki…
…aren't you playing it now?
Lies. We mean lies. Lightly sprinkled with treason. And also lions, though those aren't outright. They're actually sneaky bastards.
Don't forget to flush!
Castor oil not included.
Side effects will vary with intensity of dosage's
Improbability is a hell of a drug, MMMK?
This link currently does not work when clicked here, due to the FAQ affecting your navs. You can view the FAQ under any chat in game.
Not to be confused with the effayque
Also not to be confused with the very out of date FAQ.
Free lies?! Hot diggity Damn! I gotta get me some of that!
Or at the very least, need it to know how the hell you play this game. And yes, the Rookie Advisory IS lie-free.
It's quite clean, we promise- Marly mopped it all up yesterday.
It's clam chowder. It's always clam chowder.
Some Veterans claim it was once tomato soup. They are wrong.
It's free to use… unless you want people to have contact information. That'll cost you.
Learn how not to drive a nail through your thumb, or your neighbours'!
Driving your neighbours through your thumb stings.
These are all player created, and quite good!
Free to use! But cigs are always nice :p
Nifty means “particularly good, skillful, or effective” and keen means “having or showing eagerness or enthusiasm.” While this tool is particularly good and effective, it can not be truly defined as having or showing eagerness, nor enthusiasm, because it is inanimate, making this tool simply a nifty one to help you write stuff on the Island.
Or now, if you feel like it.
Then again, maybe you want to create duplicate pages. Who knows what your goals are?
Don't click this if you value your last shreds of sanity.
Like everything in your life now. Don't be a Joker.
Complete with bloodthirsty Full Metal Lion in the center, wondering why one would need a ball of string to get out of a labyrinth; a labyrinth is, by definition, simply a single unicursal nonbranching path that twists and turns but ultimately– hey, where are you going?
start.txt · Last modified: 2023/11/22 15:41 by cavemanjoe

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