Improbable Island

It's the world's second-highest rated,¹⁾²⁾ mandatory-participation reality TV war competition. Congratulations! By clicking on this link, you have been drafted to protect your nation's freedom against irrational thinking and creativity. Good luck! You've been dropped onto the Island, and you can't return to your family until we destroy the Improbability Drive, or at least until the ratings go down³⁾.

The Drive is a big, titanium-cased thingee with improbability arcing all around it. Originally built by ~~the scientists at Improbable Central~~ some guy, it has taken on a life of its own.⁴⁾ Your only hope of returning to your old life is to search the outposts for the Drive and hope you have the resources to destroy it if and when you finally track it down.⁵⁾ Along the way, scavenge for weapons, armor, requisition coins (req), and cigarettes (cigs). Chat with some of the locals too, but remember: There're two kinds of people on the Island - the kind who will kill you on sight, and the kind who will beat you up first and then kill you.⁶⁾⁷⁾

Oh, and try not to annoy the Watcher. She's having a bad day, and you're just one more nuisance. You won't like her when she's angry.⁸⁾

The CIA has publically declared that Improbable Island has nothing to do with Operation Mainland Omega Seven

¹⁾

What's the highest rated?

²⁾

'Who Wants to be an Amputee?' Comes on after 'What's that smell?' and 'Apocalypse Cow: cooking by survivors, for survivors, with survivors'

³⁾

Even then, your odds of returning to your family are slim to none. You didn't hear this from us, but someone found a memorandum from a board meeting and 'ROCKS FALL, EVERYONE DIES' was the number one tactic listed to maximize profits if ratings start to drop.

⁴⁾

You read the opening description. Do I really need to remind you?

⁵⁾

Hint: The Drive loves Fritos. Look for a trail of Fritos crumbs in the jungle. CavemanJoe likes Fritos too, so the trail might lead you to him instead. If you have trouble telling them apart, Caveman Joe is the one not encased in titanium. (Who says I'm not encased in titanium? -CMJ)

⁶⁾

There's a third kind too, but you'll learn all about them later.

⁷⁾

All lies, forgetting the forth kind! We won't kill you, may haze you a bit but it's really for your own good, for growth you know.

⁸⁾

You won't like her much when she's not angry either. Face it - you're screwed, you poor sod.