The Old Improbable Island Wiki

Some say that this medal can only be gained by climbing the highest mountain near CC404 and meditating there for three days, until a giant bald eagle swoops down from on high to tell you the meaning of life in a manner that will take you 50 years to puzzle out.

They are wrong.

This medal is awarded by Crazy Audrey and her kittens. For spending 1,000,000 50 req on fondling them.

Sometimes you will play Crazy Audrey's game and three Hedgehogs will pop out of her baskets.

Awarded for inventing and abusing Time Travel.

Just keep whacking the pinata in the common ground.


Hard.

Sometimes you will play Crazy Audrey's game and triplet kittens will come out of her baskets. You're good luck!

Check out the Kissing Booth in the Common Ground at Kittiana.

Visit the New Home museum, Look at all the exhibitions. The Museum Curator will brush by your shoulder and mutter something about mutant pineapples. Now here you need to be careful. If you don't say anything, nothing will happen. If you offer him a nod and complain about their prices. You will get security guards attacking you at the sight. He gives that out as a false question to lure cheaters. The right thing to say is to say “No, thank you. My tea already has coconuts.” . . . . .¹⁾²⁾

Get a great slice of cake in AceHigh.

Just keep hacking your sputum into the Skronky's pot- just a little bit more…

Take some butchering and cooking lessons at Maiko's Cookery Academy in Kittania.

Learn to swear with ease at Cuthbert's in Pleasantville.

For a mere five Requisition, we'd tell you that you need to get this medal before your first DK, if you're to get it at all. We'd also tell you to look in Squatville 404.

Some claim that you can get this by purchasing the map at The Comms Tent.³⁾

We likes crates!

Things you can make with crates:

• Crate Chip Cookies⁴⁾
• Mulah
• More crates!

And yes, this medal is, at the moment⁵⁾, given out for both finding a couple of crates and A BUNCH of crates⁶⁾.

Gain your Master's degree in crate-finding at Cuthbert's in Pleasantville.

Teach another contestant how to time travel.

Related to timed fighting, this is awarded after a chain of five million “Perfect!” timed attacks.⁷⁾

Some time after you get your Perfect Timing medal for a 5-chain you realize that you can keep a continuous chain going between from one fight to the next.

Lag can be a problem here. Try traveling around instead of looking for trouble and avoid “aiming”

Right, so once you realize you can do this (and probably you have learned to employ a metronome) you find yourself in a zen like 42.6-chain sequence of perfect fights. This nirvana is of course broken by the slightest 10th of a second of lag and you stop holding your breath and check your player bio. You have both the Split Second Savant and the Master of the Metronome medal but have no idea at what increment each were awarded. Sweet.

Some time after you get your Perfect Timing medal for a 5-chain you realize that you can keep a continuous chain going between from one fight to the next.

Lag can be a problem here. Try traveling around instead of looking for trouble and avoid “aiming”

Right, so once you realize you can do this (and probably you have learned to employ a metronome) you find yourself in a zen like 42.6-chain sequence of perfect fights. This nirvana is of course broken by the slightest 10th of a second of lag and you stop holding your breath and check your player bio. You have both the Split Second Savant and the Master of the Metronome medals but have no idea at what increment each were awarded. Sweet.

Someone should probably put words here or something.