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Wanted by the staff of the Enquirer:
An artist of some merit, employed to,
semi-regularly, provide this fine
publication with a cartoon or illustration
in the classical style. Inquire2) within.
Tired of shopping for
that awkward person?
Tired of looking at the same old junk?

Visit The Island Gift Shop
for all your gifting needs!
*Crescent Beach Limpet Nuggets
Extra Crispy
Deep Fried
A delicious alternative to brownies
Available at
Crescent Beach Titan Fightin' Lodge
Tired of The Watcher's tyranny?
Ready for a change? Sign up at Ashtu's
Anarchy Annex, just south of Kittania,
and join the glorious revolution! Or if
you're just tired, we also have beds and
coffee. Ashtu 2011/06/05 13:37
Lost and Found
Found Outside PSK: blck/wht badger.
v. aggressive. 8 legs. Mild smoker.
Free to good home.
Need an Instrument?
You don't have to settle for what you
can find in the jungle! Visit Dizzy's
Music at (16,11) for a wide assortment
of handmade and improbably-crafted
Price: 1 Wisdom per bottle
Payment by truth, prose, poetry,
lyricism, witticism or quotation.
For sale at The Bingo Hall
Yes, it's those GERM loonies again.
One 'Help Wanted' Sign.
Slightly used.
Possibly stolen from Omega.
Positions Available
Immediate openings for 6 - 7 Clan Officers.
Good Buffs, Excellent Benefits. Your
awesome Hat is your only qualification.
Check out <IIIII> Clan Description before
you choose. Mongo 2011/06/06 09:02
Dear Oronte,
I'm sorry,
I don't know why I hit you like that
I'd love to go out for drinks
P.S. Only if your face isn't too bruised
hardcore atomic fuzz-grunge
and crust punk.
10 req cover, 5 req beers!
at Miu-Miu's
Cheap Builder Brews
For details check IC
Prancing SpiderKitty
Ask for the dealer.
To Whom It May Concern
My dwelling burned down
That's the second time this
week. Please leave your
WHOOMPS outside
Not strong enuff?
Weak knees?
Hardcore Midjit training
Every monday at Midnight
Bring plenty of req
Rewards Programme
Are you on your first
Rank 6\Rank 7\Bastard Rank?
Then you are eligible to win fabulous prizes!
Distract Maniak to join.
A tall well-built woman with good
reputation, who can cook frogs
legs, who appreciates a good fuc-
schia garden, classic music and tal-
king without getting too serious.
Please give me back my charm
- eBoy
Rewards Programme
You heard about the Programme
but never found out how to properly join?
Distract Omega
Help Guaranteed (not really)
Finust Fud Un thu Islund

Fud up wiv stakes? Ad ut up tu
ere wiv “Nut und bury sulud”?
Wunt sum real fud fur uh chunge?
Cum tu Kebabs 'N'Shite thu
ih-qulity rustrunt!
Tu littres uv grese wiv uvry meal
Cleaning Lady Needed
Must be good with mop.
Bed and Board included.
Apply at the Bingo Hall,
Go below the stairs
Then follow The stairs Down
Bloody Great Hole!
Tunneling Right
St Righthere IHS Hospital
Schindlers Lift
Sodomy, Rumology & The Lashology
MeEpEr's HoUsE of InSaNiTy!
Home of Happy fun time jackets!
“Hug yourself asleep!”
Peace and Quiet Needed
Looking for a good pot of tea
Not steeped too long, you blaggards.
Somewhere where the walls
don't shake
The earth doesn't quake
And the mind won't break.
Awesome Fred's Stone Delivery
Are you a dwelling startup that needs
stone? I have loads, so stop mining.
Just contact Awesome Fred with quantity
and destination coordinates.

he ded ded died ded
Rewords Program
Find yourself using the same handful
of words and phrases over and over again?
You may be eligible for the rewords prog-
ram! Contact your local thesaurus to apply.
Looking for that piece of scrap?
Don't want to waste your cigs on the
off-chance of getting the item you want?
Wongo's Scrap Emporium
(15,12), One East 1 Northeast of IC
Large Stocks of All Scrap
25sp's of Hunters Lodge items per piece
Wool for sale
Wonderful quality
Colours and patterns
available include
Calico, Tiger, Ginger,
White and Hedgehog
Contact Crazy Audrey
Bring your own shears.
Reward Program
Have a lot of money
but nobody to give?
Head to Squat Hole
You get to give your money,
And you get free beatings.
Positions Available
New circus has Immediate Openings for
6 - 7 close friends or intimate strangers
Positions range from Cartwheeler,
Cowgirl, Missionary to Dog.
Excellent Health Benefits.
Found Dinner
Very nervous, freshly fallen from sky
Tasted of London Rain
Don't bother searching for him,
Redcollar Reclaimators
Enjoy travelling? Like to help people?
Join the club! Why not bring Supply Crates
from the deep oceans and jungles down to
where Reqless Rookies can find them.
Rally point: KIND tower [14,8].
Lonely in CC
LF witty company,
offers tea and TLCOYB, NS, GSOH.
Bring your own brains.
Look no more!
All Places mapped and listed

Improbable Island Land Registry

Take a flier:
I'll get you, my pretty, and your little
mount, too!
One Friendly Zombie Puppy
Missing: Three Legs, One Ear, One Eye, Tongue
Responds to the Name “Dumb Shite”
For Sale
One Wedding Ring
Three Wisdom Teeth
Slightly-bent Frying Pan
Ring and Teeth in good shape
Bonus: Book:
How to Get Married to a Stranger
in Three Easy Steps
The advertisements here to have some
goddamn contact information.
I want to buy these things!
Why won't you let me?!
(Or just leave the info on my doorstep.
That'd work too.)
We can get you home.
There is hope.
Look near the mountains for The Pinnacle
and inquire within.
is asking for any information
regarding sightings of the
wild Improbable Supply Crate
and its behaviour.
Please contact your local scientist.
Improbable Island Research Society
Department of Ethology
The Riding Lawn Mower!
It slices! It dices!
It goes slightly faster than walking speed!
You want it! You need it!
All the cool kids are riding one!4)
Coming Soon To Mike's Chop Shop
LOST: Bernard's speedos
Bingo Caller's Spa
If found, please return at Reception
Someone who can put up
with a Wolf Morphs
constant shedding and
uncommon fits of rage.
Contact Lycan DavenStrife
Need a cool “new” sword?
Maybe a weapon upgrade?
Come visit Jon Titania's Scrap Emporium
just one click north of Cyber City!
I was asked to make an ad
instructions too difficult
I'm stuck in the skronky pot
please help
Are you a defender, a rescuer, a HERO?
Are you a mover and shaker?
What you need is a dedicated villain!
Bespoke opposition is now available!
Under the spreading chestnut tree,
The Villain Smithy stands,
ready to work with you to assure that
your villain is appropriate
to your RP character
and forwards your RP story.
Designed trouble scales range from
street crime to trans-multiverse
New World Orders.
Distract Smithy. Posted 6/2/2015
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Rest in Peace, Merch Store
Just one. For all of them.
classifieds.txt · Last modified: 2023/11/21 18:02 by

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