The Old Improbable Island Wiki

<note important>Killing various monsters will give me and ONLY ME (or any hero at all really, as long as they've visited Maiko in Kittania) the option to Clean the Carcass and Cook it Up for some luvvly vittles. The decision to waste precious Stamina on this task is not a light one, so in the interest of preserving a little bit of sanity on the Island, Rookies Kepra, Seor and Antalin (and now duphenix and Corinne) have teamed up to bring you … THE MEAT LIST. (If you are looking for sellin' an etin' food, you may want to try The Food List.) So far, the Rookies are not terribly advanced Adventurers and the LIST is sadly truncated.¹⁾ It will be updated as they grow in almighty power. All Rookies, Almighty Adventurers, and whatever Full Metal Lion is, are welcome to add any info they can.</note>

<note>The Narrator, being rather bored, has decided to aid in this endeavor, if only to remind himself what's good eatin'YOU THAT MEAT IS NATURE'S MOST PERFECT FOOD. He reminds hunters that there are some basic guidelines:

• If it's human, it probably has 1 Crap Meat, 2 Half-Decent, and 1 Tasty. Exceptions show up depending on how fit/obese the human in question is and how many there are. Fat humans (like Santa) tend to have crap meat, and fit humans tend to have Tasty meat.

• If it's an object that ought to be inanimate or mechanical, there is no meat. Period.

• Zombies are generally bad eating. Except the Zombified Luciano Pavarotti; he counts as Human for some reason.

• Jokers are poisonous!

• Squats at best have 2 half-decent meat, and otherwise usually just have lots of crap meat.

• Small animals, insects, and microscopic organisms usually only have one slice of Meat; rarely is it worth the Stamina to clean them.

• The Lion cannot be cleaned, because the Lion cannot be killed, only dissuaded.

• Remember, you are after Tasty Meat if you're looking solely for Stamina purposes. Try to fill your cooking pot as much as possible. Pad it with Half-Decent if you have insufficient Tasty Meat, or continue slaughtering.

• If you're looking to sell off your excess for profit, make sure you know which outposts accept which. Kittania accepts only the Tasty stuff (12 req each), SquatHole recycles Crap Meat (2 req) and New Home aims for the middle (6 req), as does New Pittsburgh.²⁾

• This is improbable Island, any and all facts here may be lies or at least statistics.

</note> <note tip>Of course, you may find it satisfying to find out everything on your own, perhaps using this handy Greasemonkey script to track what meats come off what.</note> <note warning>Gee, there sure are a lot of notes on this page.</note> It's commonly suspected that a Raven has also been adding her personal experiences with meat to The List. However, given her habit of eating things most other contestants wouldn't feed to a squat, the definition of “Tasty Meat” in this case leaves room for some discussion.

Incredible but true is the fact that crap meat has found its way out of Improbable Island into the real world: Crap Meat Sandwich