The Old Improbable Island Wiki

Who, you ask? Why, it's Kuroiten, of course. An oddity in a sea of oddities, he nevertheless has a few traits that make him a slightly more noteworthy oddity.

• Like most contestants, he claims that he shouldn't be on the Island. Unlike most contestants, he is unable to provide a satisfactory answer as to why he shouldn't be there or where he should be.¹⁾ he claims has proved that he is a Narrator, a creator of worlds and a teller of tales. Of course, he could well be lying about the creator of worlds bit, but we'll have to see.
• Early on in Season One, he had shown a proclivity towards altering his surroundings. One minor incident was his involvement in the creation of Lady Rosin's furbles, which resulted in him being made caretaker for the species. He attributed this to his latent Narrator powers.
• Due to his role as caretaker for the furble race, he has been distributing them amongst trustworthy contestants. He has kept seven as his personal pets/companions. An eighth was added after being rescued from a brutal chainsaw attack. They are listed in his notebook, a page from which has been copied into the Enquirer.
• Occasional odd alterations in his speech patterns²⁾ suggest some form of multiple personality disorder. He claims these alterations are an effect of the manifestation of various beings from other worlds that he has created. “Manifestations” he showed last season include:
  • Umbrifer, Bearer of Shadows: this manifestation shows itself by making him midnight black with white eyes, a living shadow.
  • Seth “Drake” J'tentra, the Dragon-Blooded: this manifestation shows itself by making his prosthetic a red-scaled, clawed gauntlet, making his hair black and short-cropped, and necessitating an eye-patch over his right eye.
  • Paul Ethere, Corsair Bard: this manifestation shows itself by making his hair long and brown, shifting his eyes to a green hue, and adding a red longcoat to his clothes.
  • Tristan, Wielder of the Aether Grip: this manifestation shows itself by placing a banded metal gauntlet with a round yellow crystal embedded in the back of the palm on the Narrator's right hand. If something goes wrong (and it did), this manifestation can become:
  • Possessed, Demon Shard: this manifestation shows itself by making his right arm mottled brown and festering, with bone spikes protruding from his shoulder, elbow, and fingertips. To top it off, a single yellow eye with a cat-slit pupil watches from the back of his hand. It is unique among Manifestations in that it overwhelms the Narrator's personality entirely.
  • Gareth Mordant, Gun-Mage: this manifestation shows itself by replacing the scar under his eye with a glowing arcane tattoo, reworking his outfit (tattered black jacket, well-worn blue jeans, brown hiking boots, sarcastic slogan shirt), and making the Narrator much less well-spoken and reserved.
• Unlike most Jokers, he did not originally have a hat and cane, much to the confusion of many some a few who happened to be paying attention. Anyhow, even more confusing was the fact that he had not one, but three dice. He soon remedied this problem by using the morphic nature of the material of the dice to fashion himself a hat and cane, leaving one for him to roll or heave at monsters' skulls at will. Because of the unique new direction Joker powers headed in Season Two, the remaining die now spends most of its time in the shape of a deck of cards, on which the symbols of suits appear in random order.
• Due to a run-in with Rosin while a Robot, he had a foot-long hypodermic needle installed in his left arm. He later modified this needle into a spike reminiscent of a certain 15th-century assassin. Because of the rather dangerous questions that it would raise if it remained in his arm when Horatio transformed him into a fleshier contestant (such as “Will it continually stab straight through my hand on the way out?” and “This is gonna hurt like all hell, isn't it?”), he petitioned Horatio to leave his left forearm robotic. So far, Horatio seems to have obliged. In Season Two, Rosin provided an upgrade! It can now fire tranquilizing needles and a rather frightening amount of electrical energy, but it is now much bulkier than before.
• Since the beginning of Season Two, he has taken a more active part in the telling of other contestants' stories. Having his Narrator powers amplified by his return to Joker-hood has only increased the amount of help he's offered to various contestants, including such things as making clothing for Rookies, serving drinks, and saving space/time as we know it³⁾.

Season One
In his own words: “Well, like most contestants here, I began as a Human, and after a few tea-times with Horatio, I decided that a more feline look was for me. That became rather awkward, so I decided to become something slightly more logical. Again, this became awkward at times, so I invested all the improbability I had into one final change. It's odd. . .despite my shifting from species to species, I've managed to always mantain an aspect of my Human self⁴⁾.” (He pauses in reminiscence.) “Anyhow, back in the first season I was a proud member of The Dead Parrot Society, also known as the Norwegian Blues, ever since my first days on the Island. Good times.”

His transformation to a Joker seemed to jog his memory. That, or the massive influx of Improbability addled his brain. He said shortly after his ascension to Jokerdom that, before coming to the Island, he was one of a number of empowered beings called Narrators, who created worlds with words. Most skeptics wondered how he ended up on a game show that features a war against a rogue machine if he was so powerful. Regardless of the skeptics, he seemed to have a rather odd subset of Joker powers. These powers were put to the test in the retrieval of Gorbert's cane from wherever it went after his pitched battle against Harlequin and its Ashen in Pleasantville.

At last check during the season, he was one of the 20 most glorious contestants on the Island, something he attributes to having been both “a Robot and persistent. . .and someone's account being deleted”. He also had one of the top 5 largest collections of cigarettes, which he attributes to his “pack rat habits. I hoard stuff.” This collection of cigarettes was depleted by an insane endeavor sponsored by Agrajag and The Dead Parrot Society: the creation of three mansions in one day⁵⁾. These mansions stood in Kittania, Squat Hole, and New Pittsburgh (respectively in order of creation), a testament to exactly how hyper one can get off of Potent Pills.

Additionally, he joined the ranks of people who held a tea-party with Horatio in one day on April 8th, 2009, which he celebrated by slamming his prosthetic arm and the spike it houses through his statue. He claims this was only to cushion his fall, though if he wanted that he should have taken the first-class catapults instead of the budget ones⁶⁾.

Season Two
Now, with the Transition to the next season, the Narrator seems to have lost his powers again. In an attempt to escape the Island with what Narrator powers he had regained during the first season, he instead shifted himself to the second season, losing said powers in the process. He's put on a cheerful face and attempted to rebuild his lost strength, but it's been slow going so far. During Season Two, the eggs for “ur-furbles” that Rosin gave him in Season One finally hatched, revealing themselves to be winged furbles the size of baseballs. Now Yin (White male ur-furble) and Yang (Black female ur-furble) join the rest of his herd on his shoulders.

Not too long ago he found an unending jug of root beer in the Common Grounds, which he now makes a hearty attempt to drain whenever possible. Ask him for a glass, you'll not regret it. Also, when characters began to leave their books, the Narrator had a unique chance to spar with a legendary swordsman.

In regards to the forms he's taken in the second season, he seems to be following the pattern of the first: first Human, then Kittymorph, followed quickly by Robot, and finally his triumphal return to Joker-dom. He rather likes being a Joker, but will probably end up visiting Robot every once and a while for old times' sake.

During the Season, the Narrator recently attempted to Manifest a character from another story - which ended badly. Instead of Manifesting Tristan, he Manifested the demon that had been possessing Tristan, with disastrous results. After his initial possession, the Possessed Narrator fought Rosin and Gorbert to a stand-still before disappearing into the Jungle. It only reappeared on occasion, looking menacing and not really talking with anyone. Then, one day, it was gone - at least, it was asleep. The Narrator had regained control of his body for the time being, and he used what time he had to gather allies to aid him. A trip to the FailBoat ruined this brief reprieve, as the killing below-decks reawakened the Possessor. After a confrontation in which Kestrel, Sydney Fletcher, and Zephy convinced the character the Narrator should have Manifested⁷⁾ to act , the Possessor was ripped from the Narrator's body. And then something even stranger happened: the Narrator changed again. This new Narrator banished the Possessor using the same voice that had been triggered throughout several incidents on the Island and returned Tristan to his story. After several questions by the three who aided him, it was revealed that this new Narrator was in fact the form he's been so fervently seeking to regain. It was only a temporary change, however: after answering a few questions, the Narrator as the Island knows him returned.

Since the beginning of the Season, the Narrator has been a member of The Wayfarer's Guild, better known by its clan tag Hope. In recent times, the clan had been falling on hard times, dwindling in size and activity. The founder, Rosin, was off on unknown business, and returned from her long-standing hiatus with a surprising announcement: she was relinquishing her position as a leader of Hope. In her place, she promoted the Narrator to lead with Sydney Fletcher. He is still insecure about the position of leadership he has been given, but he will do his utmost to live up to the reputation of his friends who are no longer numbered among the members of Hope.

Racial Appearances
Human: Sandy-haired, hazel-eyed, 5' 11“ tall. Average build. Metal left arm. Tattered clothing from the early 21st century, specifically a gray T-shirt and jeans.

Zombie: Unknown. See Human, but rotting.

Kittymorph: Sandy-furred with uniform coloration, Human eyes (hazel), 5' 11”. Lean build. Metal left arm. No clothing whatsoever.

Midget: Unknown. See Human, but shorter.

Mutant: Unknown. Very, very unknown. Considering his fascination with Mutants, it's probably best not to guess.

Robot: Metal facsimile of his Human head mounted atop what appears to be a suit of power armor, 6' tall. Built like a suit of power armor. Saying he has a metal left arm here would be redundant. Looks like he's wearing clothing anyways, so he doesn't bother with it.

Joker: Sandy-haired, hazel-eyed with a bit more green in the blend, 5' 11“ tall. Average build. Metal left arm. Victorian suit (dark-brown suit jacket and pants, white long-sleeved shirt, maroon vest with gold buttons, neon-green cravat, black shoes), quiksilver top-hat (with a maroon hat-band), quiksilver cane. On occasion, a Joker grin⁸⁾.

Narrator (?): Sandy-haired, hazel-eyed, 5' 11” tall, white cross-shaped scar below the right eye. Average build. Black hooded robe, loose-fitting black pants, light-soled black boots. A silver rapier hangs at his side, and he carries a staff that has two black feathers attached to it by a couple of lengths of cord. Three quiksilver dice, shrouded in glowing green Improbability, orbit around the top of the staff.

Simple. He fell from the sky, just like every other contestant. Turns out it wasn't that simple. If you believe any of that clap-trap he spouts, anyhow. According to him, the Improbability Drive has created a reality sinkhole that those who can travel through realities are susceptible to. He was pulled into this sinkhole, then he fell from the sky, just like every other contestant.

In his own words: “It translates as 'black heavens'. I transliterate it as 'dark skies'⁹⁾, because I didn't realize how brooding and “emo” the translation sounded until recently. Look, I put together a couple of words during a high-school Japanese language class, okay? Were you expecting something pithy?”¹⁰⁾¹¹⁾

In his own words: “Ah. . .yes. About that. Well. . .what with the whole dropping out of the sky without having gone through any of whatever it is the rest of you went through, it's not like they have computerized records of me on hand. Or any records, for that matter. Quite honestly, the only reason I have to believe that they know I'm here is that I keep getting req and cigs. Oh, and the Watcher seems to know who I am.” (He shudders.) “How is beyond me. That woman's story is far too tangled to read in my current state. Heck, even if I become a Narrator again, it'd take me years to sort that out.”