The Old Improbable Island Wiki

A dirty conniving old woman who in reality hails from a system in the Pleiades and is the former girlfriend of Captain James Cook. She roams the jungle wielding naught but a screwdriver and a Howitzer, searching for suckers who will donate a cigarette in exchange for an anal probing upgrade. Once she has accumulated enough cigarettes, she plans to extract the tar and commence construction on a highway (to streamline her interests in exporting Crenshaw melons) that will obliterate all life on the island.

She must be stopped.¹⁾

Ahahahahahaaaa.

FYI.

Not much known about her. She's the only waitress at Saucy's Kitchen in Improbable Central and tends to be very impatient and witchy.²⁾ She dumps any manner of horrid substance in front of you when you don't specify what you want³⁾ and leaves with a sarcastic remark. At least she has the courtesy to give you edible stuff most of the time.

A clan named Wench's Experimental New Club House