Table of Contents
Before, or What EMP means to you.
Born in the late 20th century, Dave was an average northeast American, working on computers, designing weird stuff, and spending way too much time on the internet. After graduating from MIT, he got a job working for the US government on top-secret robotics work. This gave him a chance to hone his programming skills, as well as welding and electrical work. He was a major player in designing some of the best AI you've never heard of, and was given many awards over the course of his long career. All of which were classified, so never heard of by the general public.1)
He retired after a long, fulfilling career, and moved back home to Philadelphia to live out the rest of his days, watching his grandkids grow up and surpass him. Or at least, he would have, if not for some silly EMP that wiped out technology and plunged the world into chaos.
He spent the years after the EMP wandering the urban wasteland, rebuilding old technology and being somewhat successful with it. His family was all lost to him2) and he wandered the wastelands alone, helping wherever he could. Then, one day, he vanished, never to be seen again.
Dave Seen Again?
Dave woke up on the island, lost and confused. He was given some req and thrown into the jungle. He fully expected to die quickly, what with the fact that he was pushing 90 by then. For some reason, he succeeded, and started feeling younger and more full of vigor the more time he spent in the Jungle. For the entire time as a human, he avoided other contestants, still wary from his days spent in the Wilds of Philadelphia.3) One day, he found his way to Improbable Central, and bought a hat. This hat is described below.4) Slowly he progressed, until finally, chainsaw in hand, he entered a laboratory in NewHome, came face-to-face with the drive, and plunged spinning metal into the heart of the thing, destroying it forever! Or at least for a couple minutes.
Aftermath of the First DK, or BRAAAAAAINS! (And Where's My Hat, Anyway?)
After destroying the drive, he came back! Still intact, but only mostly. He realized with a sinking horror that he had become what he once most feared and planned for with friends in garages and living rooms back in college: a Zombie. His hat lost, he wandered the island in search of it, being mostly the only interaction he had with anyone else.5) He could be found wandering various outposts, watching the ground and asking people if they'd seen his hat. He didn't remember anything of his former life, except that he'd had a very nice hat, and maybe hadn't been falling apart previously. Eventually, he was strong enough, hefted his chainsaw6) and donned his Invisisuit, and once more slew the drive.
Kittania Blues, or What Happens When You Give A KittyMorph Caffeine In The Morning
This time, and for many times after, Dave woke up in Kittania, whole again, and feeling youthful and energetic. In fact, he hadn't had this much energy since, well, he couldn't remember.7) His former life was still a murky blur, but he spotted his hat, finally, and took off in chase. The hat eluded him, though, and he chased it for most of his first KittyMorph DK until he caught it, and found out that something had changed in it. Him and the hat had many adventures as a KittyMorph, then even more as he slew the drive over and over, turning into a Mutant8) for a short time, and even a Midget9) for a little while. During his time spent as a KittyMorph and its variations, he opened up to other contestants, and actually joined in on activities and conversations around him. Perhaps it was his natural curiosity coming out. It was also during this time that he started remembering his old life, more and more of it coming back to him as time progressed. He used some of this knowledge to build his JetTrike10) with the11) help of NotAgain and Ophelia.12)
Hat Chronicles, or Where'd My Body Go?
(One day, I'll come up with a writeup for this.)
The Invasion Began, then went
The invasions came, and after a brief stint as a Midget Soldier of Fortune, (Or Vietnam War-era US soldier, but shorter) in which form Dave threw about the Island, fighting off waves of Monsters threatening to pour into the outposts, Dave decided it was time for a vacation. He went back to being a Joker, with lightly tanned skin and a several-inch long messy tangle of dark brown hair. He was often seen lounging around in lawn chair, reading a book or dozing off. It was around this time that Dave joined the ranks of Club Seven, the hardest damn Run of his Island Career.
A Rare Gem, or Who's That Cutie?
After a while spent “on vacation”13), Dave was in the Common Ground and met Ari. Well, that is to say, met her again. He'd run across her while serving as a Soldier, but never got a real chance to talk to her. After a few rounds of stories by people in the grounds, they snuck off to a secluded beach and talked long into the night, and continued to do that for many nights following, talking, flirting, and enjoying each others' company, far from the prying eyes of others. After one night of their talks, as they both drifted off to sleep, she admitted her love for him. It took Dave a while to admit even to himself that he'd been falling for her the whole time, but he did, catching himself off-guard one night by blurting it out to her. Soon thereafter, he made a decision, and spent the rest of that particular run gathering the necessary req for a ring, a gold band with emerald and jade inlay. He approached her in the Grounds and hauled her off, back to the beach from the first night. Under the light of the moon, he asked her, and by morning, they were wed.
And Dave couldn't be happier about it.
Where Is He Now?
On the Island, of course! Silly question!
Oh, you meant. . . right.
Currently, he's back to being a KittyMorph, having been in a rather playful mood when meeting Horatio. He can be seen dashing about the Island, still wearing his Lab Coat, Hat, and, mostly out of habit, the Shorts he scrounged up while on vacation. He can also usually be seen attached at the hip14) to his love, Ari. Or crashing around the GERM halls working on something he's not going to tell you about yet. You'll have to just ask.
Hat, or Whose Personality Is That Anyway?
When the human Dave walked into Deimos's with a handful of Req, he had big dreams. He'd seen many contestants with really nifty hats, and wanted one of his own! He'd been missing his fedora that he had back before the EMP, and described it to Deimos and the latter got to work. Dave returned the next day and marveled! What a hat! It was nifty, it had Personality! The only question, however, that neither himself nor Deimos knew to ask at the time, was Just Whose Personality the hat had. . .
His hat is a friendly, jaunty gray fedora, with a black hat band.
Stuck in one side of the band (Left side if one were to be wearing it properly) is a long black feather.
Next to the feather are a small brass pin of his symbol, and another that's a (playing card) heart, the second given as a Christmas gift by Z.
The hat has some special properties, namely that the inside is (It has been revealed) a portal to a storage warehouse where Dave keeps things, as well as the fact that the hat is SENTIENT! No seriously, it's been waving its feather to people since he recovered it as a KittyMorph, and generally being snarky and trickster-ish for some time, except now it can pull a sign out from behind it15) that has words painted on it that read whatever he wants to say. The sign has been taken from the hat from time to time, as it's still a Snarky Bastard. . .
Pets, couch, other associated hangers-on
Wallace: Dave's couch. Found while falling back to the Island from a Drive Kill. Usually friendly. Enjoys remotes and spare change.
Fred: Caterpillar. Currently hanging out at the Butterfly Sanctuary in Hendrix.
Penwiper: An Eastern Confettitail Rabbit, currently at large still. One day, however, he willbe caught.
Arbuthlimpet: A limpet, freed from the tyranny of a Titan. Mustache drawn on its shell in black permanent marker.
Other Stuff
A proud GERMan, and one of the Saviors of Christmas, apparently. Also known to cause some Spontaneous Fun Drama. Is never allowed back into Joe's Diner...
He's written a song! According to at least a couple critics, it's very good. He notes he wrote it mostly in his head after the Chorus popped in fully-formed (No stocks no quest. . .)
His symbol is a pair of welding masks carved into the masks of Comedy and Tragedy, above a crossed Welding Torch and Soldering Iron. His is carved from a brass disc he found in CC404.
He recently stopped running around long enough to have a picture taken of him! http://enquirer.improbableisland.com/mediagallery/media.php?s=20100515001727217
Shi painted a poster of Dave. http://enquirer.improbableisland.com/mediagallery/media.php?f=0&sort=0&s=20110103191524247&i=20170807184649830&p=1
And one of Teh: http://enquirer.improbableisland.com/mediagallery/media.php?f=0&sort=0&s=20110103204750423&i=20170807185744631&p=1
More stories here. Right here. See this link? Click it for more stories! SERIOUSLY CLICK IT!
Others' Thoughts
Feel free to add your thoughts on Teh Dave. Subject to editorial review. You Have Been Warned.
- He's not a very scary per- being. Even if he does have a taste for titan bashing16)
- Makes a very enduring assistant.