To the tune of “Rebels of the Sacred Heart” by Flogging molly.
I should be sleeping right now..
Now I'm aimin' for Tea Time
But prob'ly wind up on the boat
Where I'll meet the watcher
And I'll hang my fail-ridden head.
But a drink I'll take, before I begin.
Gargle Blaster dreams, Gargle Blaster dreams
Yeah a drink I'll take, before I begin.
Gargle Blaster dreams, Plasma Gun for the win.
Contestants are we, though heavy our hats shall always be.
No breach no quest no FailBoat shall keep,
We're contestants on Improb'le Isle.
I said no breach no quest no FailBoat shall keep,
We're contestants on Improb'le Isle.
Terrified of the Jungle Fights,
The Tattoo Mut, and the Magpie's Might.
But rest assured He'll be on your back,
Yeah the Barkeep Dan, that questing hack.
As the Hunt Dog howls and the Watcher smiles,
The Naked Kitties burning Rookie's eyes.
The Phoenix that's tattooed on your back
Is the cross you bear, for your fail you bleed.
Contestants are we, though heavy our hats shall always be.
No breach no quest no FailBoat shall keep,
We're contestants on Improb'le Isle.
I said no breach no quest no FailBoat shall keep,
We're contestants on Improb'le Isle.
Beg for Req all you new rookies,
who naked land, now get out and kill.
And wave a bit to those left behind,
They'll be watching you, from five to nine.
So you saved your Ciggies and your last six req,
'Cause in New Pitts the walls are such a wreck.
Be glad you head for a safer post
But don't forget: You hate Dan the most!
Contestants are we, though heavy our hats shall always be.
No breach no quest no FailBoat shall keep,
We're contestants on Improb'le Isle.
I said no breach no quest no FailBoat shall keep,
We're contestants on Improb'le Isle.
Resurrection, race selection, choose your implant please.
No breach no quest no FailBoat shall keep,
We're contestants on Improb'le Isle.
Now bless me Watcher, for I have failed.
But it's the same old Monsters again and again and again.
Ah well, such is the stam, spent on everyday life.
Come NewDay or sphere, through the long jungle fights.
Yeah such is the stam, spent on everyday life.
Come NewDay or sphere, through the long jungle fights.
Contestants are we, though heavy our hats shall always be.
Ah, no breach no quest no FailBoat shall keep,
We're contestants on Improb'le Isle.
I said no breach no quest no FailBoat shall keep,
We're contestants on Improb'le Isle.
*Repeat chorus until golden-brown and delicious*
-TD