Table of Contents

From The Improbable Island Contestant's Survival Guide, Season 2 Edition.

Implants

Your implant is that big, thing built into your body in awkward places1). It provides you with additional capabilities - and you're definitely going to need those on the Island.

Implants are free to all contestants, and can be removed at any contestants request2). Get your implants at the Implant Hut in any outpost! Just look for the hut that says “IMPLANTS.”

Newbie Implants

New contestants ('newbies') can request one of two types of implants:

More Experienced Player Implants

Rumor has it that after killing the Improbability Drive twice, the contestant will be offered a choice of additional types of implants, and more implant types become available as the number of drive kills increases. At this time, the following implants are rumored to be available for more experienced contestants:

Implant Hints

1)
Warranty void if seal is tampered with. No user-serviceable parts inside.
2)
Any resulting 'oozing holes' are strictly the contestant's fault.
3)
This is a particularly useful implant for Robots and Gobots, who cannot be healed by normal means, since it allows them to speed up their natural regeneration.
4)
This makes it a poor fit for contestants in powerful clans. Or not.
5)
When the battery burns out, just get a different implant. You'll be tired of it, anyway.
6)
Lies.
7)
Always fun at parties and quite amusing to jungle monsters too. Sure, they'll still kill you, but they'll be laughing while they do it. Everyone enjoys a good laugh now and then.
8)
More lies.
9)
Note: The management of Improbable Island is not responsible for the actions of monsters under the influence of this implant. Contestants are urged to employ informed consent and always use a condom. Condoms are available from the Trading Posts in most Outposts.
10)
Contestants can also use it to scratch their own backs, but we shall not discuss such immodest behavior in this guide.
11)
Unlocked at 3 DKs.
12)
Actually unlocked it at 2 DKs
13)
Battery is recharged when you level up. If you're lucky.
14)
Liar liar, pants on fire.
15)
Also fun at parties, provided it is not used near the bar. Remember: Most alcoholic drinks are highly flammable.
16)
Blasphemy.
17)
Surprisingly, this one is not much fun at parties. Those darned squirrels eat all the bean dip.
18)
Yes, the description makes it seem like it gives skill experience, but I have tested this shit. IT DOESN'T
19)
Contrary to rumor, Tesla was not the first scientist to be infused with improbability. No, he was just plain weird.
20)
We cannot name this franchise because of copyright concerns, but it rhymes with 'Bellraiser.'
21)
Early usage reports suggest this implant has significant bugs, so contestants are advised to proceed with caution. Oh, and wear rubber-soled boots to prevent self-electrocution. Tesla himself wore boots of his own invention with thick rubber soles, making him also the creator of the platform shoe. Consider yourself warned.
22)
Would be true if it weren't a lie.
23)
Hey, I just now started test-driving one. Gimme some time to see what it does.
24)
FEET REPLACED WITH WHEELS.