User Tools

Site Tools


Unfortunately, this contestant may not be on the island anymore! Feel free to read what they left behind, but bear in mind you may not get to use this information.

The Truth and Lies About the Count of Saint Germain

Immortal wanderer, courtier, adventurer, charlatan, inventor, alchemist, pianist, violinist and amateur composer. Are they just words or are they truth?

Before the island

The history of the Count of Saint Germain before he reached Improbable Island is long and varied as it is mysterious. From time to time the Count hints that he was at major historical events. 1)

There are many rumors about his secret to immortality, including that he uses a 'magic stone' to transfer his soul from body to body as the ages go on, but most of them are complete myths. The truth is that every ten years, he takes a group of 'friends' to a House on a Hill, where he betrays them. The house feeds on their youth, but restores ten years to Count of Saint Germain every time. His only known weakness is a medallion which stops the aging process. For this reason, it is recommended that no one accompany Count of Saint Germain to the House on the Hill without a magic medallion. He is a rather wonderful guide to the near by old house, and welcomes everyone to come with him on a trip, but only in small groups. He extends a special invitation to HamOmlet2) and Cheshire Cat.3)

There is considerable evidence that he is immortal, given that he was present during the French Revolution, but there is a sizable number of scholars who believe he is just really really long lived. 4)He also has numerous artifacts from different points in history, and from before history, or simply apart from history. The most important of which is the sword which struck the sun. A blade which was used to pierce not the sun that earth orbits, but a true sun. 5) He has said that he received this item when venturing in to the Palace of Wisdom. 6)

If you want the whole truth, you cannot expect to find it here.

Coming to the island

The Count was in a Fry's looking to purchase some new RAM for his computer.7) When he made the mistake of walking through the television section which was tuned to channel 42. Unfortunately for him, he was not in the habit of carrying his weapons inside of stores, so he was quickly overwhelmed and taken to the island where he resides to this day.

Plot undergoing revision.


The Count wandered around the island, trying to learn the secrets so that he could understand and master the island. Needless to say, he was rather surprised when his pants were stolen. Despite not having a critical need for pants, he knew that pants were a good item of clothing to have, so he set in search for the perpetrators.

Finding a band of happy warriors, not the group of cutthroats he expected, the Count joined the Project Pants Pilfer, which he continued to serve in quite happily for quite a long amount of time.

While serving in <PPP> he was approached by Rhiannon8) to join Rockin' into Mordor. The exact reasons as to why he switched guilds is still unknown, but the combination of the Count and <Sweet> proved to be a successful one, with the guild growing to epic proportions, and the Count becoming an officer.

After joining <Sweet>, the Count rapidly passed up other players to reach the position of second most powerful player. Then, after a long drawn out quest in which the drive was destroyed countless times, he passed up Tigger to become the most powerful player. 9)

For quite a long time, there were no great unexpected chaos 10) in which all that happened was that the Count destroyed the drive a lot. The only thing of note was Jesus the Pirate Ninja becoming the second most powerful player, and an enemy of <Sweet>. Aside from clashes between the two most powerful players, nothing particular seemed out of place on the island for the Count.

Then, after having destroyed the drive a total of 130 times, the Count decided to announce a challenge to The Watcher. Many people 11) were expecting to see the Count have his arse served to him royally, but they were the ones surprised. Through an unprecedented mastery of improbability, the Count managed to beat the Watcher, a being with 1000 drive kills, with only his 130 drive kills.12)

Despite getting numerous accolades from other players, he realized that destroying a God in her own territory was not the best of decisions13), particularly when he resided in the territory. He could sense the winds of destruction gathering and tried to amass enough power over improbability to contain it. Unfortunately, despite gathering the improbability from 150 drive kills, he was not able to prevent the great upheaval that lead to season one.

Season One

He was the first person in season one to have a statue in improbable city. Few know how he accomplished this, because he did not have a drive kill when he got the statue. Most people think he cheated.

He was also briefly married to Epaphus at the start of season one, though a reality flicker in which the world ended for a brief time seems to have erased that fact. Now both parties claim to be 'just friends.'

He has rejoined <Sweet> and has become one of its three leaders. He is also one of the more powerful players, even though it is only a shadow of his former power.

He has managed to pierce reality itself, and has managed to join <CIA> without leaving <Sweet>. It is unknown as to what methods he used to accomplish this, but it's rumored that he is able to use both of the guild's buffs at once.

He constructed the first cottage to be seen on Improbable Island, The Lake of Fire in the Palace of Wisdom. Near it, purchased from Rosin is the Puddle of Warmth in the Condo of Common Sense. There are rumored to be plans for the Count to construct a Ocean of Nuclear Explosions in the Temple of Genius.14)

Within the cottage is one of the cracks in reality15), for not one, but two Count of Saint Germains16) dwell within.17)

The Count got married to Rhiannon a former fellow officer in SWEET, and current officer in CIA. The ramifications of this union are only to be guessed at.18)19) It's believed that this association has links in a joint CIA/SWEET operation.20) The Count's spouse is now known as Secret, but it is widely believed to still be Rhiannon, but the Count seems to insist on people looking up his status to look in the Common Grounds, where it still correctly states his wife.

He is also the founder of the Improbable Island Historical Society. There is currently only one historical site, but there are more to come. The site is the first constructed mansion on the island, and is built on the site of the historic Watcher versus Count of Saint Germain battle site.

After a lengthy absence, he has returned to the island from beyond the ends of infinity and the edges of everywhere and everywhen.

With Snickerer taking leave, has been reorganizing Sweet in order to have them retake their place as the most powerful clan. Also has constructed a mansion to allow for all the clan leaders to meet together in a forum to discuss how the game is currently running, and what changes to clan policies should be made. Believed to be considering training legions of new alchemists to help with his duties.

Rumors about the Count

* At the end of the pilot was the most powerful player.

* Slew the Watcher.

* Has always been in the world since the beginning and will be here until the end.21)

* Second character22) to have 1 day drive kills in season 1. He is also one of the few people on the island with a completely flawless drive kill run, namely every single monster fight was flawless. 23)24)

Secrets of the Count

Early to bed, Early to have your symbol as a cross of violet,
Makes the Count healthy, wealthy, and have 150 drive kills in the pilot.

The Count secretly25) plays with puppets inside his mansion(s). In actuality, the Count controls several people through VERY creative use of puppet strings that various people on the game do not even realize are attached.26)

Including the founding of the United States of America and William the Conqueror's invasion of England.
Jonah seems to have caught up to HamOmlet…
Who found the medallion, and is now running from Crimson Jack
Really, really really, but I suppose you get the point that it is a lot of reallys
The significance or meaning of this is still unknown.
The location of the Palace of Wisdom is unknown, but it is believed to have a link through improbability to the island itself.
Which just shows that one is never too old to learn how to use a Computer. *cough* McCain should have learned *cough*
Like a great number of other players, including Rosin another <PPP> member
A position he did not leave until the time of great upheaval.
But plenty of expected chaos
including Caveman Joe
The battle was so destructive that over half of Cyber City 404 lay in ruin afterwards. The Count got an honorable membership in CDAG for his display.
It is rumored that this is not the first time he slew a god, but just the most powerful god as of yet
Remember this is the person who knows how to break the veil on reality
How do you make Count of Saint Germain plural? Counts of Saint Germain?
Let's not forget our furry friend, Cheshire Cat, either. Somehow he exists twice as well.
So far, it chiefly seems to have resulted in Rhiannon becoming even more obnoxious than usual, leaving rivers of overdrama in her wake.
I think I'll leave this wonderful reminder of JtPN here just for us all to remember him.
Possibly connected with demons.
Attempts to get Kassil to either confirm or deny this have merely made the Jokermorph start laughing.
The first being JtPN by under an hour.
JtPN can also make this claim.
Cheshire Cat can as well, having more turns than he ended with by 15 when he killed the drive.
and I do mean, quite secretly
And some are attached in rather painful places
count_of_saint_germain.txt · Last modified: 2023/11/21 18:02 by

Donate Powered by PHP Valid HTML5 Valid CSS Driven by DokuWiki