This is Scene Two of The Riddler of Oz, performed in SquatHole. Presented by the Weathervane Players on Jan. 3, 2009 (GMT -5).
<SWEET> Major General TheMuffinMan the zombiemidget walks up to the giant X and removes the yellow tape he put around it. He changes the sign out for a fresh one. “Please stand back, she will be arriving at 9:00 EST. -TWVP”
<SWEET> Major General TheMuffinMan makes a note on the bottom of the sign. “That would be GMT -5, in case you need to figure out timezones.”
<SPOON> simma ej med hajen adds, “admission is free, but please bring some canned goods to donate to the kids at the orc orphanage. thank you.”
The wizened old woman seems to be moving in and out among the buildings, carrying a pot of green face paint. She is muttering evilly to herself, something about 'Sessine had better be right about this. . .“
<SPOON> Count Sessine passes by, a little while later. He surveys a certain spot on the ground near the giant X. With no-one nearby, he says quietly, “Remember, H. . . .not the real stuff, okay?”
<SWEET> Announcer Max Dougwell appears from behind the Massage Parlor, the Spornets nowhere in sight. He has forgone his usual choice of clothing and is now wearing a souped-up Power Suit and shiny red shoes. He waits.
<SWEET> Extreme Badass Spartanman grumbles about the stupid pot taking all his charm, he had worked hard on collecting it too.
<SWEET> Major General TheMuffinMan the midgetzombie runs in as fast as his stubby legs can carry himself while constantly falling off. “This be fookin 'ard! An' I be smellin' fookin rank!” “Oi, that be what I were tellin ye!”
<SWEET> Major General TheMuffinMan grumbles more as he sews his legs back on. While thinking of it, he also adds stitches to all parts of him that might fall off while acting. “Oi, I be ash fookin' ready ash I gunna fookin' be.”
<SWEET> Extreme Badass Spartanman says, “Can someone please donate a riot hammer or improb knife to me please?”
<CIA> Improbable General Obsidian Cain the Midget stomps into town and sulkily waits.
<SPOON> QuestorPrime Tor NaGoth the Midget exits the Massage parlor wearing Chaps and a cowboy hat again, but this time he looks too iritated to sashay properly.
<SWEET> Extreme Badass Spartanman glomps Nagoth.
<SPOON> simma ej med hajen as Julia stands near Max, looks at the X and then stares up into the sky “I hope they calculated the trajectory correctly.”
<SPOON> QuestorPrime Tor NaGoth the Midget throws Spartanman into the nearest spectator, and squeaks, “Gi'roff me ya idgit!! Not witout payin yer cigs!”
<SPOON> Contender Claymore Humble as a midget extra nods at Julia. “CHAAME is sure it'll be fine.”
<CDAG> Newbie Carroll says, “Um, no, Spartanman, I will NOT.”
<CDAG> Newbie Carroll glares at Spartanman.
<CDAG> Newbie Carroll is in a bad mood. . .she can't find her scrip!
<SWEET> Announcer Max Dougwell as Narrator walks up and stand at the centre of the red X.
<CDAG> Newbie Carroll takes out her bad mood on the typo gremlin and makes him give her back the T.
<SWEET> Major General TheMuffinMan the zombiemidget exclaims, “Oi! Ar' you fookin' doutin' me?” Pissed off, (no surprise there) he shoves his middle finger in hajen's face. It falls off. “FOOKIN' 'ELL!”
<SWEET> Announcer Max Dougwell as Narrator “Ladies and Gentlemutants, please be sure to stand back. The Weathervane players take no liability for any maimings or deaths that may happen in this scene.”
<SWEET> Major General TheMuffinMan grumbles, picks it up, and walks back stage.
<SPOON> QuestorPrime Tor NaGoth the Midget approaches Hajen somewhat reluctantly, “Er..Boss? We's go a bit o' hassle inside. . .”
<CDAG> Newbie Carroll stomps off in an attempt to get into character.
<SPOON> simma ej med hajen as Julia turns to the midget, “What's the problem? Lance.”
<SPOON> QuestorPrime Tor NaGoth the Midget fidgets a bit, and stands on his tiptoes to whisper in 'Julia's ear “Well, its. . . and . . so. . . do yas want me ta do?”
<CIA> Improbable General Obsidian Cain looks up, yells [DELETED FOR PROFANITY VIOLATION]
<SPOON> simma ej med hajen as Julia, “out with it, whats the problem?”
<CIA> Improbable General Obsidian Cain runs for his [DELETED] life.
<SPOON> Contender Claymore Humble looks up, following Cain's example. He then yelps and ducks for cover.
<WotWC> Newbie Bob the Skull as Toto smiles. “Hello~ We seem to be in a good mood tonight. What, you all just have some fun?”
<SPOON> QuestorPrime Tor NaGoth the Midget figets some more and squeaks, ”..'e sez 'e wants a freebie!“
<CDAG> Newbie Carroll peeks her head out of the jungle. “All right, I'm headed to. . .the shack again. Toto?”
<CDAG> Newbie Carroll has some serious doubts about the entrance to THIS scene.
<SPOON> simma ej med hajen as Julia is incredulous, “Who wants a free 'massage'!?! Lance, go back there and kick them out!”
<SPOON> Contender Claymore Humble as a midget extra trembles at the thought of someone asking for a freebie.
<WotWC> Newbie Bob the Skull as Toto looks at Carroll. “Oh it won't be that bad. Can you check your distractions real quick for me?”
<SPOON> QuestorPrime Tor NaGoth the Midget is nearly in a panic as he squeaks, “Bot. . .bot. .Itz Cave Man Joe!! Youse wants me ter git Banned or sumpin?”
<CDAG> Newbie Carroll says, “Ok Bob, Max hooked me up, we can get the show on the road.”
<SPOON> simma ej med hajen as Julia “I don't care! NO cigs, NO service! Get rid of him, Lance, I'm gonna be busy here.”
<WotWC> Newbie Bob the Skull as Toto eats a small treat. “I should get my body. Did I just let that slip?”
<SPOON> QuestorPrime Tor NaGoth the Midget shrugs, and rolls up his sleeves, “You'se da Boss, Julia!” he says sounding resigned as he heads back into the Parlor.
<SPOON> simma ej med hajen as Julia yells after Lance, “And tell Joe to go to Improbable Central and visit his pickle wench, if he wants free massaging!”
<SPOON> simma ej med hajen as Julia notices the shoes “Nice shoes, Max.” and backs away. . . far away.
<CDAG> Newbie Carroll scoops up Bob, puts him dangerously close to her blue pinafored chest, and dashes off to the jungle before they're late!
<SPOON> Contender Claymore Humble as a midget extra runs into a hovel and comes out wearing a stupid looking hat and a ratty fur coat.
<SPOON> Count Sessine is lurking quietly, far far in the background. His shoulders shake violently with suppressed laughter.
<SWEET> Announcer Max Dougwell as Narrator is looking rather pale.
<WotWC> Newbie Bob the Skull as Toto smiles. “This will be amusing~ Carroll, you've been taking notes from Akitsu, eh?”
<SPOON> QuestorPrime Tor NaGoth the Midget as Lance can be heard offstage violently kicking someone's arse out of the Massage Parlor, ”. .an' stay out til's ya gotz da cigs!!“
<SWEET> Announcer Max Dougwell as Narrator glances around nervously. “Everyone ready? Checked your distractions? Eaten? Got your scripts?” He seems. . .reluctant to start.
<SWEET> Announcer Max Dougwell as Narrator checks his watch, then begins talking quickly. “The Weathervane Players would like to welcome you to The Riddler of Oz: Act Two. The show will begin in 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5. . .”
<CIA> Improbable General Obsidian Cain the Midget says “Oh <DELETED>, someone's gonna <DELETED> get it for this!”
<SWEET> Major General TheMuffinMan looks up and laughs. He then calls the other midgets who are running for cover many censored names until he notices why they're running. Then he too bolts.
<SWEET> Announcer Max Dougwell as narrator cries out in a strangled voice, “5-4-3-2-1-Incoming!” A rather large shack whirls down through the air and lands with a crash directly on top of him.
<CDAG> Newbie Carroll as Dorothy staggers dizzily out of the shack, carrying her dear little Toto - who looks remarkably like a skull. A. . . lascivious skull.
<CDAG> Newbie Carroll as Dorothy slowly registers the full squalid wonder of Squat Hole. “Toto,” she whimpers, “I don't think we're in NewHome any more.”
<WotWC> Newbie Bob the Skull as Toto is again vainly trying to give an impression of a small fluffy dog. but at this he leers, “Ya said that before, shweetheart.”
<QUEST> Clockwork Beetle Marley flies in quietly and lands in Julia's pocket
<CDAG> Newbie Carroll as Dorothy climbs up onto the coiled firehose on the wall by the gate. She peers over the wall. “Nothing out there but jungle. This dump is deserted. Where is everybody?”
<CIA> Improbable General Obsidian Cain the midget sniggers, hidden in the trees.
<CDAG> Newbie Carroll as Dorothy whirls, disturbed. “Who's that? Who's there?”
<SPOON> simma ej med hajen as Julia floats in, wreathed in a bubble of dazzling violet light. With a tinkling silvery laugh, she says, “It's the Midgets, innit. This 'ere is Squat 'ole.”
<WotWC> Newbie Bob the Skull as Toto groans, “And WHAT is that SMELL?”
<CDAG> Newbie Carroll as Dorothy is noticeably not reassured to hear this. “Terrific. Just what I need, more Midgets.” She takes in who is addressing her. “You're a Midget!”
<SPOON> simma ej med hajen as Julia smiles radiantly. “Oh yes! I. . .” she twirls lazily, ”. . .am Julia the Beautiful Midget.“ Dorothy, her tone implies, is amazingly lucky to have encountered her.
<CIA> Improbable General Obsidian Cain the midget sniggers even more loudly.
<SWEET> Major General TheMuffinMan can also be heard sniggering behind some nondescript scenery.
<CDAG> Newbie Carroll as Dorothy says, rather nervously, “Um. Why are they laughing?”
<SPOON> Contender Claymore Humble as a midget extra “Snigger, snigger”
<WotWC> Newbie Bob the Skull as Toto barks, “That's what she said last night!”
<SPOON> simma ej med hajen as Julia shrugs lightly. “Acuz you kilt 'er, o' course. Allus good fer a giggle, innit.”
<CDAG> Newbie Carroll as Dorothy is shocked. “What? Me? I didn't KILL anybody!”
<SPOON> simma ej med hajen as Julia gives Dorothy a 'Who are you trying to kid' look. “You friggen did, dearie. Er yer shack did. Same fing. Looky there! She'm a deader.”
<SWEET> Announcer Max Dougwell as Narrator's disembodied voice can be heard from the left of the stage. “Sure enough, two bony feet in red shoes are jutting out from under the shack. They certainly do look quite dead.”
<CDAG> Newbie Carroll as Dorothy gulps, visions of dire legal consequences spinning in her head. “Oh my,” she whispers. “Shouldn't. . . shouldn't we get her to the Hospital Tent?”
<WotWC> Newbie Bob the Skull as Toto grins, “I see London, I see France, I see the Watcher's Und- - - Oh dear lord no!” Bob looks away aghast.
<SWEET> Announcer Max Dougwell as Narrator's disembodied voice is laughing faintly.
<SWEET> Major General TheMuffinMan sniggers more behind his scenery.
<CIA> Improbable General Obsidian Cain the midget sniggers “Either that or the house is getting it ON the house!”
<QUEST> Clockwork Beetle Marley buzzes something from Julia's pocket, and some typo gremlins helpfully translate, “No Free Massages!”
<WotWC> Newbie Bob the Skull as Toto says, “Oh, I'll make you feel real good. . . Hm. . . what kind of jokes should I make? The Watcher likes cats~”
<SWEET> Major General TheMuffinMan's sniggering stops when he hears Cain's pun. He quickly throws a shoe across stage at Cain for the pun.
<SWEET> Announcer Max Dougwell as Narrator's disembodied voice begins whispering into the audience members ears. Being disembodied is fun.
<CIA> Improbable General Obsidian Cain yells as a shoe hits him in the head. “Who * * *ken throo that, innit?”
<CDAG> Newbie Carroll as dorothy says, “Um, seriously, shouldn't we get her to the hospital tent?”
<SPOON> simma ej med hajen as Julia laughing joyously, breaks out in song, her voice dripping treacle Let the joyous news be spread / The wicked Watcher at last is dead!
<CIA> Improbable General Obsidian Cain the midget enters and dances happily. “That was * * *ken AWESOME!”
<SWEET> Announcer Max Dougwell as Narrator's disembodied voice, “Munchkins, er, Midgets enter and dance about happily.”
<SWEET> Major General TheMuffinMan as Midget 1 prances about, squeaking at the top of his lungs. “Ding dong, the Watcher's dead! Which old bitch? The Wicked Lich! Ding dong, the Wicked Watcher's dead!”
<CIA> Improbable General Obsidian Cain as Midget 2: “Wake up you sleepyhead / Rub your eyes, get out of bed / Wake up the Wicked Watcher's dead!”
<SWEET> Major General TheMuffinMan as Midget 1 continues his squeaking, “She's gone where the unworthy go / Failboat Failboat Failboat! / Yo-ho, let's open up and sing and ring the bells out!”
<CIA> Improbable General Obsidian Cain as Midget 2 squeaks “Ding Dong the merry-oh, sing it high, sing it low / Let them know the Wicked Watcher's dead!”
<SWEET> Major General TheMuffinMan as the completely different Midget 3 rushes front stage, holding a scroll. “As Coroner, I thoroughly examined her / And she's not simply merely dead / She's really most sincerely dead.”
<SPOON> QuestorPrime Tor NaGoth the Midget gallops about on a minature hobby horse with his Chrome Speedo and leather chaps on as he waves his Cowboy hat with one hand!
<SWEET> Announcer Max Dougwell as Watcher laughs from offstage. “Hah! That's what they think. Fools. But the Sponsors like it, so I'll just let the little bastards go on thinking that for as long as it boosts the ratings.”
<CIA> Improbable General Obsidian Cain as Midget 4 squeaks “We represent the Skronky Pot Crew / The Skronky Pot Crew, theSkronky Pot Crew”
<CDAG> Newbie Carroll as Dorothy says,”But, but. . . I didn't mean to kill her. I. . . oh, what the hell. So the Watcher's dead. I guess that's good. Now how do I. . . “
<SWEET> Major General TheMuffinMan, this time as Midget 5, holds aloft the stronky pot as he dances and sings. “And in the name of the Skronky Pot Crew, / We wish to welcome you to Squat Hole.”
<WotWC> Newbie Bob the Skull as Toto covers his eyes. “It's Game over man, Game over!”
<SPOON> Contender Claymore Humble as a midget extra sings”We represent the Midget Thieves Guild / The Midget Thieves Guild, the Midget Thieves Guild,“
<SPOON> Contender Claymore Humble as a midget extra runs into a hovel, and comes out wearing a different hat and pulling on an even rattier jacket.
<SWEET> Major General TheMuffinMan inadvertently spills some of the pot during his dancing, even getting the audience some.
<SPOON> Contender Claymore Humble as a midget extra sings “And in the name of the Midget Thieves Guiiiiiiiiiiiiiild. . .”
<SPOON> Contender Claymore Humble as a midget extra sings”iiiiiiiiiiiilllllllllddddddd. . .“
<SPOON> Contender Claymore Humble as a midget extra takes a huge breath.
<SPOON> Contender Claymore Humble as a midget extra sings “We wish to welcome you to Squat Hole.”
<CDAG> Newbie Carroll as Dorothy says, “Well, technically, I didn't kill her, the house did. . .”
<CIA> Improbable General Obsidian Cain stops mid-dance and says “Wait, I * * *ken hate those bastards!” and tackles Claymore Humble.
<SWEET> Major General TheMuffinMan, despite being a midget, clamps his hands over his ears to cover up CH's horrible wail. The Skronky Pot falls to the ground and spills offstage.
<SPOON> Contender Claymore Humble as a midget extra improbably runs out of a hovel and tackles Obsidian Cain, saving Claymore Humble as a midget extra
<SPOON> Count Sessine hoping the midgets are done now. . . whispers, ”Now, H.“
<QUEST> Clockwork Beetle Marley buzzes as he watches Midget Tor join the general melee
<CIA> Improbable General Obsidian Cain goes down screaming “*uk you, you * * *ken thieving bastards!”
<SWEET> Major General TheMuffinMan whistles nonchalently and walks away from the mess, taking an audience member's wallet as he does.
<SPOON> Count Sessine whispers, “Wait. . . they're not done.”
<SPOON> Contender Claymore Humble as a midget extra hits Midget Tor with a steel chair, while Claymore Humble as a midget extra kicks Cain while he's down.
<QUEST> Clockwork Beetle Marley emits a low, but impressed whistle as Midget Tor emerges from the Melee with a lot more req than he had when he entered, and a few extra cigs to boot.
<SWEET> Announcer Max Dougwell as Narrator's disembodied voice laughs quietly, then whispers, “Cue Witch.”
<CDAG> Newbie Carroll as Dorothy wonders if she can blame this unlikely accidental death on the brawling midgets. . .
<CIA> Improbable General Obsidian Cain is then dragged off-stage by two Claymore Humbles. Muffled cries are heard from behind the stage scenery.
The wizened old woman appears in a sudden blaze of what. . . looks a lot like Improbably Burny Fire - - all in black, with a broad-brimmed conical hat. Her face is quite green. She examines the feet under the shack.
The wizened old woman as the Wicked Witch crouches and glares at Dorothy. She hisses venomously, “Who killed my sister? Who killed the Watcher? Was it you? Answer me!”
<SPOON> simma ej med hajen as Julia as the Good Witch, “Leave her alone!”
The wizened old woman as the Wicked Witch snaps at Julia, “You stay out of this! I'm here for vengeance!” To Dorothy: “So it was you, was it? You killed her, didn't you?”
<CDAG> Newbie Carroll as Dorothy is frightened. “No - - No! It was an accident! I didn't mean to kill anybody! And hey, did you you see those midgets? I think they were involved!. . . . really I didn't!”
The wizened old woman as the Wicked Witch comes up close to Dorothy, burning but not consumed. Her rage is palpable.
<SWEET> Major General TheMuffinMan hides because he is one of the midgets mentioned by Dorothy.
<CDAG> Newbie Carroll as Dorothy is terrified.
The wizened old woman as the Wicked Witch wags a flaming green finger under Dorothy's nose. “Didn't mean it, eh? Accident, eh? Well, my little pretty, I can cause accidents, too.”
<CDAG> Newbie Carroll as Dorothy tries to hide behind Bob/Toto as best she can…but of course that doesn't work.
<SPOON> simma ej med hajen as Julia as the Good Witch “Aren't you forgetting. . . the Ruby Slippers?”
The wizened old woman as the Wicked Witch grins evilly. “Not at all. They're mine now!” She reaches for them, but they vanish before she can grasp them. “What??”
<QUEST> Clockwork Beetle Marley crouches lower in Julia's pocket as Midget Tor scrambles for the relative safety of the jungle
<SPOON> simma ej med hajen as Julia as the Good Witch laughs with silvery malice; She unobtrusively moves her fingers in arcane patterns and. . . the slippers suddenly appear on Dorothy's feet!
<CDAG> Newbie Carroll as Dorothy says,” Hey, what happened to my Sketchers?“
The wizened old woman as the Wicked Witch glares at Julia. “Give me back my slippers!” To Dorothy: “I'm the only one that knows how to use them. They're of no use to you! Give them back to me!”
<CIA> Improbable General Obsidian Cain groans from off-stage but Claymore Humble silences his attempt to steal the scene.
<SPOON> simma ej med hajen as Julia as the Good Witch, “Dorothy, keep tight inside of them - - they must be very powerful, or she wouldn't want them so badly!”
<CDAG> Newbie Carroll as Dorothy backs away from the very angry witch.
The wizened old woman as the Wicked Witch rages, “You stay out of this, Julia, or I'll fix you as well!” To Dorothy: “Give them back!”
The wizened old woman as the Wicked Witch reaches for the slippers, but when her hand touches them, there is a flash that obviously hurts her. She draws back.
<CDAG> Newbie Carroll as Dorothy, mumbles to herself. . .”Are these. . .Heelys?“
<CDAG> Newbie Carroll as Dorothy, says, ”Electric Heelys? Sweet.“
<SPOON> simma ej med hajen as Julia as the Good Witch says, sweetly but as pointedly as the stiletto heels she's wearing, “You can't have them. They're locked to the girl now. I paid off Foilwench.”
<SPOON> simma ej med hajen as Julia as the Good Witch gives her a withering look. “Besides, they don't go with anything you wear, you horse.”
The wizened old woman as the Wicked Witch seethes in frustration. “Very well - - I'll bide my time - - and as for you, my fine lady, it's true, I can't attend to you here and now as I'd like, but. .” She snarls.
The wizened old woman as the Wicked Witch approaches Dorothy threateningly. “just try to stay out of my way - - just try! I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too!”
<CDAG> Newbie Carroll as Dorothy says, “Um, yeah, dog. Right. Just your average, everyday run of the mill schnauzer.”
<SPOON> simma ej med hajen as Julia as the Good Witch laughs like tinkling bells, “Go tell the zombies that! You can't bore them to death!”
The wizened old woman as the Wicked Witch backs away from Dorothy and Julia, laughs menacingly, and disappears in a cloud of fire and smoke.
<SPOON> simma ej med hajen as Julia as the Good Witch mutters under her breath, “Good riddance, you old bag.”
<CDAG> Newbie Carroll as Dorothy, approaches Julia. “So, you know magic? Can YOU get me off this damn island?”
<CDAG> Newbie Carroll as Dorothy says, “Or do you know some one who can?”
<CDAG> Newbie Carroll as Dorothy says,” I just want to go home!“
<SPOON> simma ej med hajen as Julia as the Good Witch “Of course you do, dearie. Don't we all. You're such a precious young thing, I'm sure if you asked nicely, the Riddler would grant your every wish.”
<CDAG> Newbie Carroll as Dorothy, says, “The Riddler? Who is that?”
<CIA> Improbable General Obsidian Cain mumbles off stage “Thank f*k she's gone!”
<SPOON> simma ej med hajen as Julia as the Good Witch once again breaks into song: Well, you'll find him in the Improbable City / Just go into the Spiderkitty / Sidle up to the man in the bar.
<SPOON> simma ej med hajen as Julia as the Good Witch Order an ale - - oh wait, you're underage. Nevermind. He's a star. You'll go far. Very soon, ask the boon of the Spoon.
<CDAG> Newbie Carroll as Dorothy says, “Spoon. . .? (understanding maybe one word in six, latches on to the one thing she did get) Um, so how do I get to the Improbable City?
<SPOON> simma ej med hajen as Julia as the Good Witch with great flourish produces Marley in her hand. “Here. All you have to do is. . .
<SPOON> simma ej med hajen as Julia as the Good Witch gently raises her hand, releasing Marley, who rises into the air and hovers near Julia. Follow the Pheromone Trail!
<QUEST> Clockwork Beetle Marley flies up and circles Julia's head as he buzzes in confusion. Once more, the typo gremlins translate, “What?- - I thought there was no Spoon. . .”
<SWEET> Announcer Max Dougwell as Narrator's disembodied voice states, “Julia leans forward conspiratorially.”
<SPOON> simma ej med hajen as Julia as the Good Witch winks, whispers back. “Exactly. So you have to check it out. All around the Island, right?”
<QUEST> Clockwork Beetle Marley doesn't quite sound convinced as he buzzes, “got it! I think. . .” and tears off like a shot to the west, leaving a trail of brass and chocolate c.hip cookie pheromones behind
<CDAG> Newbie Carroll as Dorothy, sings, “We're off to see the Riddler, The Runcible Riddler of Oz. You'll find he is a runcible Spoon If ever a Spoon there was.
<CDAG> Newbie Carroll as Dorothy, continues to sing as she skips away, following Marley. “If ever oh ever a Spoon there was The Riddler of Oz is one because, Because, because, because, because, becaaaaaaaaause.
<CDAG> Newbie Carroll as Dorothy, fading into the distance, still singing, “Because of the razor-sharp things he does. We're off to see the Riddler. The Runcible Riddler of Oz.
<CDAG> Newbie Carroll as Dorothy pauses for a moment and wonders how a spoon could be razor sharp? “Oh well. On my way!”
<CDAG> Newbie Carroll as Dorothy, with Toto in tow (tow) disappear into the jungle, headed towards New Pittsburgh.
<SWEET> Announcer Max Dougwell as Narrator's disembodied voice turns to the audience. “And with that, Dorothy is on her way to escape the Island! Will this plan work? Is Julia just manipulating her for her own ends?”
<SWEET> Announcer Max Dougwell as Narrator's disembodied voice continues, “Is there a spoon? Am I actually dead?” He pauses dramatically. “Find out next time, in The Riddler of Oz, Act Three! Be there, or miss out!”
<SWEET> Extreme Badass Spartanman says, “aww i missed out :(”
<CDAG> Newbie Carroll says, “No, you can always scroll backwards!”
<SPOON> Contender Claymore Humble as a midget extra sneaks around the audience area, looking for something. He pokes one audience member. “Oy, you seen the fooken Muffin Man?”
<CDAG> Newbie Carroll says, ”(note the “previous” button on the bottom of the page?)”
<SWEET> Announcer Max Dougwell wraps up. “The Weathervane Players would like to remind you that this is a fictional play, and as such any resemblances to real or imagined people are completely coincidental.”
<CIA> Improbable General Obsidian Cain says “Yeah? Will scrolling backwards get me my f * * ken fictional Req back? F * * ken thieving midget bastards!”
<SWEET> Major General TheMuffinMan finally emerges from his hiding in time to take a bow. “Oi, now will someun' PLEASE turn us back inta' a zombie?”
<SWEET> Announcer Max Dougwell announces, “Next Play is at New Pittsburgh! Be there or die horrribl- wait, not supposed to read that last part. Whoops.”
<SPOON> Contender Claymore Humble as a midget extra grabs the Muffin Man. “Oy! You owes Dues on that wallet, mate.”
<SWEET> Announcer Max Dougwell as a disembodied voice possesses the him playing the Watcher, then drags his body out from under the house and heads in the direction of the Hospital Tent.
<SWEET> Announcer Max Dougwell mentions as he leaves that a backup is underway, so the entire play will be available on the Wiki at a later date.
<CIA> Improbable General Obsidian Cain yells “I call dibs on the shack! Although I should have called dibs on the <DELETED> shoes. . .”
<SWEET> Major General TheMuffinMan shoves his middle finger at CH. “I can do what I fookin' want, an' I ain't paying no fookin' dues.” The finger falls off again.
<SWEET> Major General TheMuffinMan says, “AH BLOODY FOOKIN' 'ELL! I'm just gonna fookin' go ta' 'oratio and be fookin' fixed!”
<CIA> Improbable General Obsidian Cain goes to the shack, but it falls apart when he opens the door. “* * * en bloody shoddy prop department!”
<CIA> Improbable General Obsidian Cain yells “lifes a f * * ken <DELETED FOR REASONS OF PROFANITY>!!!”
<SWEET> Extreme Badass Spartanman drops a penny on the ground and stands back to see if any midgets fight over it.
<SPOON> Contender Claymore Humble as a midget extra: “We'll fokkin' fix you, fokkin dead wanker!”
<SPOON> Contender Claymore Humble as a midget extra grabs the fallen finger and gives The Muffin Man. . .the. . .finger.
<WotWC> Newbie Bob the Skull pulls off his skull dog cap. “Was fun!”
<SPOON> QuestorPrime Tor NaGoth the Midget tosses CavemanJoe out of the massage parlor one more time, “I sez! No Cigz, No Massage ya idjut!!~!”
<SPOON> Contender Claymore Humble as a midget extra hangs his head in shame and exits, Stage Right. In time to be knocked over by the flying frame of Caveman Joe. ”[Delete]”
The wizened old woman hobbles back into the square. She winks at Bob. “You bet. Haven't had this much fun since I got here.”
<SWEET> Extreme Badass Spartanman sits on the curb smoking a ciggy.
<SPOON> QuestorPrime Tor NaGoth the Midget spots the penny and makes a dive for it, “Mine!”
<CIA> Improbable General Obsidian Cain picks Tor's pocket while Tor is picking up the penny. Strolling off, he mutters “Finally, I'm square!”
<SPOON> QuestorPrime Tor NaGoth wonders what pocket Cain managed to find on Speedos and leather chaps. . . .
<SPOON> simma ej med hajen bows to the midget extras, “i cried, i hurled, i cried some more. that was fantabulous.”
<SPOON> QuestorPrime Tor NaGoth the Midget grins, “It woz purty orsome, won't it?” and applauds loudly for the other players before heading back into the Parlor to take a nap in Julia's dresser drawer.
<CIA> Improbable General Obsidian Cain returns after vigourously washing his hands. . .
<CIA> Improbable General Obsidian Cain slips on the contents of the Skronky Pot that were spilled during the play. He rushes off to bathe again. . .