Table of Contents

Grenades

One of the earliest inventions by the scientists at Improbable Central, grenades are handheld bundles of destruction and chaos just waiting to happen.1)

Pronoucation

“Grenade”: Grey-NA-da

“Grenades”: Grey-NA-das.

Uses

Grenades are the favorite weapon of Humans, but can be used by other populations as well. While Humans can replenish their supply of grenades daily by unknown means,2) other populations usually have to find grenades in the jungle or have to buy them from Eboy.

Types of Grenades

The most commonly encountered kinds of grenades are:

How to Use a Grenade

Grenades are simple to use:

The order of these steps is very important. Do not, for example, throw the grenade before pulling the pin, or else you will be essentially handing the monster a grenade to use against you.4)

When counting to three, be sure not to stop too soon or go on too long. Three shall you count, not stopping at two and not progressing on to four. Three.5)6)

Old Saint Nades

Sightings have been reported on the Island of a mysterious figure named “Old Saint Nades”7), a fat Human/Squat hybrid. Allegedly, he dresses in red, calls people hos, stockpiles his grenades, and gives them all out on Full Metal Lion's birthday. No one has ever witnessed this event of altruism, possibly because Full Metal Lion can't remember his birthday.

1)
The Human writer William S. Burroughs once wrote, 'Anyone who can pick up a frying pan owns death.' On this Island, that saying would run more like, 'Anyone who can pick up a grenade owns a whole lot of death.'
2)
Rumor suggests they go to the Council Offices
3)
Specifically 90% reduction in attack and defense for several rounds
4)
And they will. Trust me.
5)
We would riff on this a while longer, but the BBC's lawyers have threatened to sue us for copyright infringement.
6)
I mean, all the Hitchhikers' Guide references were bad enough.
7)
Pronounced “Ol' Snt NA-das”