The Old Improbable Island Wiki

Tyler Durham is the name of a peculiar purple aubergine.

• Often found in the company of a squash who likes to call him Goldilocks, a sheep, and a carpenter.

• Sometimes explosive, though even-tempered.

• Easily won over by marshmallows and hot beverages.

• Likes to sleep in other people's chairs.

• Known to photosynthesize to a deep red when faced with a tiger or a storm, and more recently when in the company of the aforementioned carpenter¹⁾.

• Previously spent time beneath a straw hat. Now spends time (unfortunately rotting) beneath a metal pail.

• Has been upgraded from pail to striped bucket hat, and is thankfully no longer in need of a sewing kit for his own limbs. This aubergine is fuzzy! It must be moldy.

• Is also HYPERACTIVE when under the influence of ANYTHING EXCITING or SUGAR. For love of Pratchett, keep him away from the cocoa booth!

• Is having an existential crisis. You ask so many questions, what answers should I choose? Is it schizoid paranoia or just existential blues?

• Has recently been seen in the company of a dubious fruit who causes him to photosynthesize regularly, as well as stammer and generally make an ass of himself. The status of their relationship is unclear, even to those involved.

• There is a dubious fruit update. The aubergine and the dubious fruit have become the single most awkward couple in the history of the Island. Stay tuned for more updates.

• The aubergine has been fuzzy, awkward, an angry short bastard, fuzzy again, eternally awkward, strangely squiddy, female, an angry short female, fuzzy, and missing in action since our last report.

• Is no longer seen in the presence of the dubious fruit. They appear to have parted on generally amiable terms.

• Has rarely been seen for quite some time. Perhaps he is in hibernation?