You're walking through an outpost somewhere. Let's call it “Kittannia”. No, the one with two 't's and two 'n's. No, yes.

So you're walking through this “Kittannia”, and suddenly, out of the blue, like a pack of wild dogs, only wearing matching purple pea coats, they come. They are also roaring. So, suddenly, out of the blue, like a pack of roaring wild dogs wearing matching purple pea coats, a collective, a gathering, a - a bundle of people start march-running through. They're also holding megaphones.

In unison, they spin on their heels and turn to a contestant haplessly standing in a corner, their megaphones glistening in excitement. “Why hello there, Contestant! And we are such contestants, are we not? And we have so much to discuss, being contestants, do we not? Oh yes! Oh indeed!” they roar through their megaphones. But he's already gone.

OK. When Horatio plopped down onto the island, there was already somebody standing in the exact spot it wanted to be: this person, as you can imagine, was not the brightest tool in the lunchbox. He, of course, got squashified by the drive. But due to the amazing plot device that is improbability, instead of dying, his 'spirit', for lack of a better word, simply flew off. Now it inhabits some of these new contestants it sees around the island at once as it pleases, leaving them as quickly as it enters.

That's an awful 'question'.

I've never heard of him.

I've never heard of it.

Well, have you ever been in the way of the improbability drive?

This interview is over.