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the_heist

GERMans Eleven

The Beginning

The Bingo Hall

[04/11 02:27pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop paces, his hands behind his back. “Money.. .money money. Oh! I've got it!” He grabs a pen and paper from the reception desk, and starts writing. He folds the note, tossing it near the front door.

[04/11 02:36pm] The note reads: Dear unknown GERM associate. Recently, your distant relative, Mr. Gabriel Antonio Garcia Esquivel Caramilloso Luis Marquez has died unfortunately at the age eighty four.

[04/11 02:38pm] You are the last known living relative to Mr. Gabriel Antonio Garcia. Please write your bank account number in the space below, so that we may wire his vast fortune to your bank account.

[04/11 02:39pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop tosses the pen over his shoulder, nonchalantly walking to the stage.

[04/11 02:45pm] <GERM> St John the Bernard is clouted in the head by a flying pen, “For God's sake Bish, watch yourself, eh?”

[04/11 02:47pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop flinches, ducking down. “Erm! Uh, hello.. .Bernard!” He twists around. “Yes, I'll uh, watch that. You weren't.. .here long, right?”

[04/11 02:53pm] <GERM> St John the Bernard shakes his head, “I was just trying to get myself out of that bloody sofa. I've just been dodging hoodies in a bloody seaside bus station.” whether this is a euphemism, you're unsure.

[04/11 02:54pm] <GERM> Spandex 's toe of her boot is rolled into by a pen. She leans down and picks it up.

[04/11 02:57pm] <GERM> St John the Bernard grins, widely, “Hello there Dexy, how are you. Bish here is flinging bloody writing implements left right and centre today, I think he's got written tourettes or somthing.”

[04/11 03:01pm] <GERM> Spandex uncaps the pen and draws an e on Bernard's something.

[04/11 03:02pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop squints. “In.. .the sofa.” A small shiver. “Yes well.. .sorry?”

[04/11 03:03pm] <GERM> St John the Bernard wishes Dexy wouldn't correct him when he's trying to get down with the local patois, ah well. Bishop has gone quiet, UB wonders why.

[04/11 03:03pm] <GERM> Spandex recaps the pen and sets it on the front desk. “I'm great B. I'm going to the spiderkitty. Need bacon though.” She runs into the kitchen, returning a few minutes later with a handfull of bacon.

[04/11 03:05pm] <GERM> St John the Bernard asks, “Aren't you going to get Bruce to cook that for you? It's still mooing.”

[04/11 03:05pm] <GERM> St John the Bernard delivers a nice smile to Bish, “Oh no problem, it hardly even hurt. I probably won't even suffer concussion.”

[04/11 03:09pm] <GERM> Spandex looks at her handfull of beef strips. “You mean this isn't bacon? Hi Bish what you doing?”

[04/11 03:10pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop holds his shovel in front of him, using it to prop himself up. “What would you need bacon at the PSK fo- ah.. .forget I asked.” He gets slightly defensive. “Doing? I'm not.. .I'm just here, yes.”

[04/11 03:12pm] <GERM> St John the Bernard shakes his head, “No, it's definitely bacon, look at the rind of fat on it.” his head continues to shake, a side-effect of the blow p'raps?

[04/11 03:13pm] <GERM> Spandex picks up a note laying near the front door and hands it to Bernard. “Letter for you?” She skrunches her face at Bish. “You're fibbing, Bish.”

[04/11 03:15pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop ignores the statement, hoping the subject will change. “A letter? What's it say?”

[04/11 03:16pm] <GERM> St John the Bernard takes the letter, reads it, and begins to cry, “Uncle Gabriel is dead!? How?!” he wipes tears from his face, but only manages to collapse to the floor, letter crunched in his hand, “Dead!”

[04/11 03:17pm] <GERM> Spandex sticks a tongue out at Bish, stuffs the letter into Bernard's pocket and disappears.

[04/11 03:18pm] <GERM> St John the Bernard is wailing and gnashing his teeth, “OooOOh, and so young, so vibrant! What will Aunty Marquez do now? She'll be bereft! I must travel to Andalucia as soon as possible!”

[04/11 03:18pm] <GERM> Spandex stuffed a second letter in the pocket. It says, “My condolences. Get well soon.”

[04/11 03:20pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop grits his teeth, stepping closer. “Ah. Erm. Who's.. .who's Gabriel?”

[04/11 03:22pm] <GERM> St John the Bernard stops crying, “Eh? Who's who?”

[04/11 03:23pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop blanks for a moment. “The one.. .you said died.”

[04/11 03:25pm] <GERM> St John the Bernard looks stunned, “Someone has died, oh Jon, I'm sorry. You must be distraught! No wonder you look like you've been crying.”

[04/11 03:28pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop lifts a finger. “But you- I.. .you said.. .” A pause. “Yes.. .it was, a real drag.”

[04/11 03:29pm] <GERM> St John the Bernard 's eyebrows raise, “They were a drag act? It wasn't that Madman fella was it? I knew he was trouble. Looked the sort, y'see.” his hand hovers over Bishop's shoulder, unsure whether to console.. .

[04/11 03:33pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop bites his lip. “Well.. .I guess they looked sort of feminine.. .

[04/11 03:42pm] <GERM> St John the Bernard wonders, “Do you want a hug? Or a hanky?” he offers Bishop a crumpled up bit of paper tiss.. . letter.

[04/11 03:45pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop grabs the letter. “Uh, thanks. I guess.” He weakly blows his nose. A few moments later and he's realized his plan is ruined with crumpling and snot. “Oh.. .dammit!”

[04/11 03:54pm] <GERM> St John the Bernard points out to the Petting Zoo, where Dammit has a little pen.

[04/11 04:00pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop mumbles something to himself. Need another plan.. .He swings his shovel around to let off steam.

[04/11 04:25pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop continues to swing around, and is soon nearby one of the corridors.

[04/11 04:39pm] <ICEE> Man of the people Comrade Lukas enters in, scarf snapping, carrying a big bag of iron ” good evening everyone.“

[04/11 04:42pm] Mountjoy walks around the corner, perfectly timed for Jon to crack him square in the knee with the shovel.

[04/11 04:44pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop drops the shovel as Mountjoy falls to the ground. “Oh.. .Oh shit! Are you.. .alright?”

[04/11 05:04pm] Mountjoy falls to the ground, yelling in pain. “You've broken it!”

[04/11 05:06pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop pushes his hair back. “Ohh fuck. Oh fuck!” He grabs Mountjoy by the arms and drags him near the reception desk. “Uh, uh, uh! I can.. .I can. Get you fixed!”

[04/11 05:10pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop winces. “I'll.. .I'll. Buy you another!” A pause. “Would cost a lot.. .”He thinks, in the midst of the yelling. “That's it! I've got it!”

[04/11 05:14pm] Mountjoy yells to Bishop. “OI! DON'T BE TALKING THERE! BLEEDIN' HELP ME!”

[04/11 05:19pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop pulls him up into a chair. “Uh! Is that better?! Yes? No?” He eyes Mountjoy's purple knee.”Ah! No, no. Definitely no. Fuck.. .“

[04/11 05:28pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop backs away. “I'll, I'll get help!”

Improbable Central

[04/11 05:31pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop hurries over to the hospital tent. “This way please!” A voice responds. “I don't leave my post.”Jon responds. “Come on!! I have money, lots of it!” He is lying, of course.

[04/11 05:33pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop adds, “Thousands of reck! Thousands! Just follow me!” “Very well.”

[04/11 05:34pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop heads northward to The Bingo Hall, with a relatively old man following after.

The Bingo Hall

[04/11 05:36pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop rushes back in, with an old man following in after him. Jon points. “Him! In the chair.” The old man slowly walks over.

[04/11 05:37pm] Mountjoy curses, “TOOK YE LONG ENOUGH.” [04/11 05:39pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop cringes. “I'm trying, I'm trying! How's it look?” [04/11 05:44pm] The doctor mumbles. “Cracked it open. Doesn't look good.” “How much to fix it?” “A couple hundred thousand. Maybe a million.”

[04/11 05:45pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop frowns. “I don't have that much.. .get out.” “Where's that money you were talking about?”

[04/11 05:45pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop winces. “Ah, erm.. .uh.” He rummages in his pocket, placing three reck in the man's hand.”That's all I've got.“

[04/11 05:46pm] The man growls, punching Jon in the gut. “Freeloader!” And with that, he walks off.

[04/11 05:49pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop coughs, grabbing his stomach. “Ack! Damn.. .” Mountoy yells after. “ISN'T AS BAD AS A CRACKED KNEE.”

[04/11 05:53pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop chews his fingernails. “Ah shit. Need to keep this secret. Hell, hell hell. Say, Mountjoy!.. .” He takes a few steps over to the desk.

[04/11 05:54pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop interlaces his hands. “Let's say.. .I get you this new knee, and a little extra? We can help each other out here. I get a group together and.. .find money. We use it to pay for the knee.. .

[04/11 05:56pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop continues. ”.. .then split what's leftover between the two of us. That is, if you keep the fact that I've caused this incident a little secret. You just.. .tripped. That's all!”

[04/11 06:01pm] Mountjoy is not pleased. “YER IN NO POSITION TO BE MAKIN DEALS!”

[04/11 06:02pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop squints. “Where else will you get a million reck? I don't see anyone here with that money. This is in your best interest.. .Think on it!”

[04/11 06:03pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop pads off as Mountjoy grumbles something that is most likely insulting.

The Recruiting

Ace High

[04/13 05:20pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop paces about the outpost, scribbling on a notepad. Fortunately no one has looked at it, or they would see it truly is just scribbles.

[04/13 05:20pm] <GERM> Spandex figures that she herself is an Improbability Bomb, so heads to eboys to sell the extras she picked up in crates in the jungle.

[04/13 05:22pm] <GERM> Spandex stumbles out, having been rudely shoved, after getting in a bit of a huff over their prices.

[04/13 05:24pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop glances up from the notes. “Ah! Hello.”

[04/13 05:24pm] <GERM> Jokerbot g_rock drags a slightly ludicrous amount of

cratestuffs into acehigh. He pauses to wipe his brow and spots “Dex? What.. .what are you doing here?”

[04/13 05:28pm] <GERM> Jokerbot g_rock tips his hat to Bishop nonchalantly-yet-meaningfully

[04/13 05:28pm] <GERM> Spandex is on barefoot tiptoes, wearing someone's pee-jays. She's trying to read Bish's note. “Huh? Selling crate-scores. You?” Not a lie.

[04/13 05:29pm] <GERM> Jokerbot g_rock jerks a thumb at his huge, nay massively bulging pack “Same.”

[04/13 05:30pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop crumples the paper and tosses it over his shoulder. “UH, well, that's not important. But, you two are here, this.. .is good.”

[04/13 05:32pm] <GERM> Spandex looks at his massive bulge with a twinge of envy. She tilts her head towards Eboys. “Right. Seeya later then.” She puts her hands behind her back and lowers herself to flat-feet.

[04/13 05:33pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop frowns, stepping over to Dex in a hurry “NO, hey. Wait a second! I have.. .a proposition.”

[04/13 05:33pm] <GERM> Spandex says to Bish, “It is? You do?”

[04/13 05:34pm] <GERM> Jokerbot g_rock lines up 25 improbability bombs on the ground, and drives them one at a time into eBoy's. “FOOORE! So, Bish, FOOORE! What can I do FORE! you?”

[04/13 05:37pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop bites his lip. He can already tell this will go absolutely perfectly or go to shit in an instant. “Ah, well. Mountjoy's knee has uh, gone bad. He'll need a lot of money to get it fixed.”

[04/13 05:37pm] <GERM> Spandex peeks her head around his shoulder, “Quit wasting fuel. Drive them all at once.”

[04/13 05:40pm] <GERM> Spandex steps back and crosses her arms in front of herself. “Bish, won't B to fix it? He's got loads of dosh, surely.” She just assumed B was loaded.

[04/13 05:41pm] <GERM> Jokerbot g_rock nods in the direction of Bish and Dex. He ties the last 5 bombs together, lines up, raises his cane, and SWINGs.There's a blinding flash form eBoys, and a purple monster lopes out with a bag of req

[04/13 05:41pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop paces. “No. This'll cost a lot. Even too much for Bernard.” He could be lying, he isn't sure himself.

[04/13 05:42pm] <GERM> Jokerbot g_rock accepts the req, pats the monster on the head, and smiles at Bish “I don't think B's pension will cover this. What do you propose, Bish?”

[04/13 05:45pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop holds his shovel in front of him, leaning on it. The lying starts.“You see, the Bank in Improbable Central has gone corrupt, not giving people back their deposits, 'losing' bank records.. .”

[04/13 05:46pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop continues. “Fact is, they're up to no good. I say we.. . borrow to money back.”

[04/13 05:46pm] <GERM> Spandex pulls a leather sac out of her bandolier and offers it to Bish. “1181 now.. . and I'll see what I can round up this week for ya.” She listens. “Yeh, I always - hunh?”

[04/13 05:48pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop shakes his head. “A few thousands won't do it. We're talking over a million.”

[04/13 05:49pm] <GERM> Jokerbot g_rock quickly hides his sack of req. He misses being a cartoon plush, he would slap on a Robin Hood outfit sooo fast. “Alright, I gotcha. You got a plan?”

[04/13 05:50pm] <GERM> Abundantly Ari waves to Jon and Dex as she heads to the jungle, she has a hydra to kill!

[04/13 05:50pm] <GERM> Spandex snatches her bag back. “A MILLION REQ!?” She slaps her hand to her mouth.

[04/13 05:50pm] <GERM> Abundantly Ari | and G

[04/13 05:51pm] <GERM> Spandex misses Ari passing through, and she needed to ask if Dave found his way home!

[04/13 05:52pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop nods to g_rock with a mild grin. “Yes, Dex. Maybe even a little more.”

[04/13 05:53pm] <GERM> Spandex blurts, “For a knee?! Can't he just do without?”

[04/13 05:54pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop continues, “But think, Dex. We can.. .fight the.. .establishment .”

[04/13 05:56pm] <GERM> Jokerbot g_rock grins. Smart move, Bishop. “Yeah, Dex! Stick it to the man!”

[04/13 05:58pm] <GERM> Spandex eyes the two suspiciously, but she trusts them with her life. “Yeh. Which.. .man I gotta stick then?”

[04/13 06:00pm] <GERM> Spandex knows exactly what they mean, but also knows she's likely gonna be the one with the cricket bat and lusty hoik. She frowns a little at G.

[04/13 06:01pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop points to eboy's. “Didn't they just shove you out of there? That kind of man. The power hungry, greedy, control your life man.”

[04/13 06:03pm] <GERM> Jokerbot g_rock grins “Yeah, Bish! What's the plan?” he mouths at Dex “I'll take care of you.” Matter of factly, like.

[04/13 06:05pm] <GERM> Spandex snorts and pokes Bish in the chest a couple of times with two fingers. “Yeh, and don't forget to mention it is always men too. Glass ceiling and that. In this day 'n age.”

[04/13 06:06pm] <GERM> Spandex frowns again a little at G. Who took care of who now?

[04/13 06:08pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop squints, getting poked back. “Erm? Right.. .Things are.. .rough these days?” A short silence.“Uhm, right! Anyway.. .I doubt one person alone could do it all and get out unscathed. Need a team.”

[04/13 06:09pm] <GERM> Jokerbot g_rock grins. That oughta get her plenty fired up. “Yeah, Dex! And wage disparities and whatnot!”

[04/13 06:09pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop begins to count his fingers. “Someone to scout the place out, find weaknesses, security patterns. Someone to drive us the hell out if it gets too hot. Someone to take care of the robbing itself.. .”

[04/13 06:10pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop continues. “The list goes on and on. Anything you can think that helps.”

[04/13 06:10pm] <GERM> Spandex snaps her head back to Bish. “These dudes living off the mis-fortunes of regular folk right? No money for armour or houses, and yet they're all la-di-da with their MK IIs! We need to wage war.”

[04/13 06:11pm] <GERM> Spandex scrunches her face. “We don't need all that. I just need a cricket bat.”

[04/13 06:13pm] <GERM> Spandex adds quietly, “and a tank, mebbe?”

[04/13 06:15pm] <GERM> Spandex was promised a tank. “While we're at it, can we take out the pinata? It took 99req off me earlier.”

[04/13 06:15pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop smirks. “Good! I'll get you all you need. I take it you want a very hands on role, then?”

[04/13 06:16pm] <GERM> Jokerbot g_rock chuckles “Why don't we get the rest, Dex, just in case you want a smoke break in the middle. What's the overall plan, Bish? Smash'n'grab, notes and threats, bait'n'sneak?”

[04/13 06:19pm] Rookie Fair tiptoes on the way to e-boy, trying to pass unnoticed and not to looked like she listened to anyconversation that might be going on..

[04/13 06:19pm] <GERM> Spandex has never planned a tantrum before. She leans on G, listening intently to his Big Ideas. “I like the steak one.”

[04/13 06:21pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop cracks his knuckles. “It would be best, I think, to be quiet about it. Don't want security hunting the clan down afterwards. We set up distractions, something to keep some of the staff busy.”

[04/13 06:22pm] <GERM> Jokerbot g_rock grins and rubs his hands together “Distraction I can DO!”

[04/13 06:22pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop begins to pace again. “Then, a few can sneak in, try to cut off the power. Another group can try to get to the money. Someone has a getaway car waiting for them? Smooth process.”

[04/13 06:24pm] <GERM> Spandex catches a rook spyin'. She narrows her eyes at her. “Wassyername rook?”

[04/13 06:26pm] <GERM> Spandex whispers to Bishop, 'did you say car?'

[04/13 06:26pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop taps his shovel against the ground. “You can? What would that be?”

[04/13 06:27pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop nods to Spandex. “Yeah.. .I, think so.”

[04/13 06:28pm] <GERM> Spandex pulls at the back of her neck. “Will a team of zombie pack-animals do?”

[04/13 06:29pm] <GERM> Jokerbot g_rock grins and strikes his cane against his jacket. A handful of sparks kick off and hit the ground, sizzling for a few seconds. G puts on a pair of shades “Might wanna look away.”

[04/13 06:31pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop winces, stepping back and holding his arm over his eyes. “Ah, right.. .okay, g. Let her rip.” A blind look to Spandex. “If they don't go eating our own team.. .”

[04/13 06:31pm] <GERM> Spandex jumps back off him, “Bloodyhell G, warn me next time?” Guess they're even now.

[04/13 06:34pm] <GERM> Jokerbot g_rock grins, and the sparks fizzle out. About 4 seconds pass, then the ground ERUPTS in a shower of metallic sparks, accompanied by a loud whistle “Just like the 4th of July back home!”

[04/13 06:35pm] <GERM> Jokerbot g_rock waits a few seconds, then blows on the fountain, and it fades, leaving a glowing red ring of earthe behind

[04/13 06:36pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop moves his arm, nearly dancing from panic. “Shit! Don't go blowing us the hell up!”

[04/13 06:38pm] <GERM> Spandex has jumped back several steps, whatwith being barefoot 'n all. Impressed and Angry have a saucy mudwrestle, but of course Angry wins, by cheating. “G! MY FEET!”

[04/13 06:40pm] <GERM> Jokerbot g_rock waves them both off dismissively. He reaches down and puts a hand directly on the glowy red ring, then pulls it away. Some of the red come off on his palm. “Trick of the light. Reflection.”

[04/13 06:43pm] <GERM> Spandex reaches over her shoulder and slides 4 cheesesticks out of her pack. She holds one in her left hand, not unlike she held some cards

yesterday. Focuses on G-rock. [04/13 06:43pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop takes a few deep breaths. “Whew.. .uh. Might be useful if things go to hell. Scare the backup off.”

[04/13 06:45pm] <GERM> Jokerbot g_rock grins at Bishop, heedless of the approaching lactic weaponry

[04/13 06:45pm] <GERM> Spandex thinks of a recent twirl and spin in lush room as she relaxes into the throws. SSSSWWFFTT SSSWWFFT SSWWWFFFT SSSSWWFFTTT. 4 cheesetwist drills head straight for him.

[04/13 06:49pm] <GERM> Jokerbot g_rock says “It'll be a good way to draw the guards awaaaugh!” he catches two cheesey projectiles in the ear, ducks one, and catches the last in his teeth. He chews thoughtfully for a minute.

[04/13 06:54pm] <GERM> Jokerbot g_rock stands, swallows, and attempts to extract some cheese from his ear canal “Dex, dear, a word?”

[04/13 06:56pm] <GERM> Spandex swings her pack around and lifts out a bottle of dark rum. She grins at him as she unscrews the top and GLUGglug. “Nice boxers, G. Looking for a fistfight?”

[04/13 06:57pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop rubs the back of his head. “Well.. .you could help take out the lactose intolerant guards.. .”

[04/13 06:59pm] <GERM> Jokerbot g_rock shakes his head and turns back to Bishop “When are we planning to do this thing?”Cakey's table bucks it's metal legs, out of Dex's line of sight.

[04/13 06:59pm] <GERM> Spandex snortles, coughing rum. She holds the bottle out to Bish.

[04/13 07:03pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop grips the bottle. “Awesome!” He takes a drink. “I still need to get the team a little larger. Hopefully in a week or so.”

[04/13 07:05pm] <GERM> Jokerbot g_rock looks at his watch and steps 6 inches to the right. A whole Cake (non-death variety) comes hurtling out of the stratosphere straight at Dex's head

[04/13 07:10pm] <GERM> Spandex hears something not unlike the sound of a Cake about to land on her head. She leans back and looks up.. .

[04/13 07:10pm] <GERM> Jokerbot g_rock nods “Well, you know where we live.”

[04/13 07:12pm] <GERM> Spandex , a split-second later, is a swatted-wasp-angry LICK vanilla and LICK chocolate and LICK caramel human-shaped cake, raging her way towards G.

[04/13 07:16pm] <GERM> Jokerbot g_rock is too busy laughing to move

[04/13 07:17pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop grins. It's starting to shape together. That is, if the team doesn't kill each other with dairy-based products, first.“Great! Just one thing.. .we didn't have this conversation. Ever, ever.”

[04/13 07:17pm] <GERM> Spandex , of course, can't see for cake so just runs right into a tree and falls on her back, unconscious.

[04/13 07:17pm] <GERM> Spandex won't remember a thing, anyway. Someone will have to start from scratch when she comes to.

[04/13 07:21pm] <GERM> Jokerbot g_rock nods at Bishop “What conversation?” then hurries off to see to Dex

[04/13 07:23pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop lifts up a thumb. “No clue. We weren't even talking.” A small wince as he steps over. “Dex? You alright?” A moment of thought, then a shrug. “Ah, well. I need to get going.”

[04/13 07:24pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop slings his shovel over his shoulder, stepping out into the jungle. “Later!”

[04/13 07:25pm] <GERM> Jokerbot g_rock waves to Bishop, then sighs. He takes off his jacket, then removes his shirt and rolls it up under Dex's head. He pulls the jacket back on “You know, there are easier ways to a fella naked.”

[04/13 07:25pm] A few moments later, and Jon can be heard screaming in the distance. “Ah! Fuck! Since when were monsters this close to the gates?”

The Recruitment Continued

The Bingo Hall : Perfectly Nondescript Cloakroom



[04/19 05:03pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop slips in, sighting everyone. He eyes the drinks. They might be more willing if they're drunk. ..perfect. Wait, what about that kid? He might spill the beans. ..No, he's drinking too!

[04/19 05:04pm] <GERM> Lovely little toddler Bernard asks, “Anyone joining me?” he pushes out little tots of tequila towards all and sundry.

[04/19 05:04pm] <GERM> The Stray - SinkOrSwim puts a bendy straw in Bernard's tequila glass.

[04/19 05:04pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop grins, stepping in. Perhaps a bit more cheery than usual. “Hello!”

[04/19 05:04pm] <GERM> Kestrel watches the lime-and-salt ritual with obvious fascination.

[04/19 05:04pm] <GERM> The Stray - SinkOrSwim takes his glass and decides to do it the 'other' way. He snorts the salt, necks the tequila, and squirts the lemon into Dave's eye.

[04/19 05:05pm] <GERM> Accomplice Teh Dave passes Kestrel a slice of lime and indicates the saltshaker. “Salt, shot, lime.” Clearly, this explains it perfectly. He slides a shotglass to her as well.

[04/19 05:05pm] <GERM> Kestrel ia about to greet the cheery Jon, or at least attempt to, but a giggle breaks through before she has a chance.

[04/19 05:06pm] <GERM> Accomplice Teh Dave blinks a few times, green and citrusy tears streaming down his face. He shrugs, takes the shot, then licks his cheeks of the lime juice.

[04/19 05:06pm] <GERM> Lady Akitsu sighs and makes her way out from behind the counter, then takes a seat, still nursing her Bellini, her spiked Shirley Temple sitting in front of her.

[04/19 05:07pm] <GERM> Kestrel looks between the salt, the shot, and the lime. Eventually she dumps the salt in the shot glass, squeezes lime juice into the mixture, and struggles to keep her features composed when she downs it.

[04/19 05:08pm] <GERM> Accomplice Teh Dave blinks. “Well that's one way to do it, I guess.” He laughs, pats Kes on the shoulder, and proceeds to ready the second salvo, brimming with chuckles.

[04/19 05:09pm] <GERM> The Stray - SinkOrSwim looks at Kes. “Salt normally just on the edge of the glass Kes. Watch” He commences to prepare a handful of Margaritas, sugar-and-salt mix as the frosting.

[04/19 05:10pm] <GERM> Accomplice Teh Dave grins and waves Jon over to the table. “Grab a shot!” He indicates Bernard's infinite wisdom-based large collection of shots.

[04/19 05:11pm] <GERM> Lovely little toddler Bernard shouts! “BISHY! CUDDLE!”

[04/19 05:12pm] <GERM> Kestrel watches dutifully, laughter firmly under control. How they expect her to know these things is beyond her understanding.

[04/19 05:12pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop smirks, walking over and taking a seat. “Sure, works for me!” A moment of though.“Say. ..how long have you all been drinking?”

[04/19 05:13pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop jerks away from the child. “Hell no!”

[04/19 05:13pm] <GERM> Accomplice Teh Dave thought it was a GERMan initiation rite. ..surviving a night (or at least several hours) of drinking with clan members. Ah well, if she hadn't before, this is a perfect time.

[04/19 05:13pm] <GERM> Lovely little toddler Bernard tells Sink not to bother with sugar on his Margerita, “Just make sure m' glass is cold!”

[04/19 05:16pm] <GERM> Lovely little toddler Bernard stares at Bishop, “What do you mean 'hell no'? I don't understand, he reaches over for a cuddle.

[04/19 05:17pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop grumbles to himself. “Urgh. ..I hate kids.. .”

[04/19 05:17pm] <GERM> Lady Akitsu sighs and stands, scooping up the mini-Leader into her arms. “Now now, Uncle. You know Bishie doesn't like small children.” She bounces him gently, calming him.

[04/19 05:18pm] <GERM> Lady Akitsu also shoots a reproachful glare in Bishop's direction.

[04/19 05:19pm] <GERM> Accomplice Teh Dave chuckles. “More like small anything.” He grins, wondering if B counts as a small mammal right now.

[04/19 05:21pm] <GERM> Lovely little toddler Bernard mutters, “I'm not a bloody 'small children.' Jeez. I'm supposed to be a bloomin' clan leader. I bet all the other flipping clan leaders can have cuddles whenever they like. ..”

[04/19 05:23pm] <GERM> Accomplice Teh Dave goes to a corner to rest his eyes a moment.

[04/19 05:24pm] <GERM> Lovely little toddler Bernard reckons Bob can have cuddles whenever he likes, and Adder Moray can as well. “But poor stupid old Bernard, wants a little cuddle, what does he get? The big heave ho.”

[04/19 05:25pm] <GERM> Lovely little toddler Bernard points at Sink, “I bet you'd give him a bloody cuddle. What's wrong with little people? It's not like I stink like a midget.”

[04/19 05:25pm] <GERM> Lady Akitsu smiles and shush-shush-shushes quietly, planting a comforting kiss on his forehead before taking her req pouch (made of China silk) out and jangling it.

[04/19 05:26pm] <GERM> The Stray - SinkOrSwim shakes his head. He doesn't off Bish either. They may be reserved for Merlin 04/19 05:26pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop takes a shot. He doesn't plan to drink too much, as he needs to remember what happens tonight. “So, uh.. .What do you guys think about.. .banks?”

[04/19 05:28pm] <GERM> Lovely little toddler Bernard blames them for all the flooding.

[04/19 05:28pm] <GERM> Kestrel murmurs, staring at the last inch of her drink, “Banks? Well, they're where you store money, aren't they? Don' think much about them, really.”

[04/19 05:29pm] <GERM> The Stray - SinkOrSwim 's got a bank. 's shaped like a piggy.

[04/19 05:30pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop stands. “Well, uh. I've got a bit of a preposition, you could say. ..”

[04/19 05:31pm] <GERM> Lady Akitsu arches a brow and glances at Bishop suspiciously, stopping her jangling.

[04/19 05:31pm] <GERM> Lovely little toddler Bernard scratches his head, “Don't you go talking about investments, last time I invested in a bank, the local volcanoes erupted.

[04/19 05:32pm] <GERM> The Stray - SinkOrSwim wonders if Bish means 'proposition'. 'Preposition' is something slightly different. But Sink doesn't voice this, because to do so would be massively pedantic.

[04/19 05:33pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop isn't a speller, he's a doer.

[04/19 05:33pm] <GERM> The Stray - SinkOrSwim chuckles instead. “Was that the bank of Atlantis, Bernard or that later one? You know, the bank where people used to cash in their frozen chips. ..”

[04/19 05:33pm] <GERM> Lovely little toddler Bernard isn't a fighter. He's a toddler.

[04/19 05:34pm] <GERM> Lovely little toddler Bernard wasn't about at Atlantis. He was on his hols.

[04/19 05:35pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop picks up an empty shot glass, spinning it around in his hand. He paces. “Mountjoy. ..uh,accidentally broke his knee, and he needs a new one. Really costly, it is. ..over a million.”

[04/19 05:35pm] <GERM> The Stray - SinkOrSwim isn't a toddler. He's a door.

[04/19 05:36pm] <GERM> Kestrel ponders Jon's words for a long moment. “S'not a problem, though, is it? Couldn't we give him wheels instead?”

[04/19 05:36pm] <GERM> Lady Akitsu sighs, shaking her head before setting Bernard back into his safety seat, snapping him in so doesn't fall and hurt himself.

[04/19 05:36pm] <GERM> The Stray - SinkOrSwim looks suspicious. “Is this enquiry of the nature of investments and interest, or of large, planned, shall we say anonymous withdrawals? And if the former, you're not from Nigeria are you?”

[04/19 05:37pm] <GERM> Accomplice Teh Dave crawls back to the tables, and tries to find one of sink's pre-made Margaritas. With his hand. from under the table. “Littlehelphere?”

[04/19 05:38pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop continues, but now is less truthful. “Wheel?! Come on. No one wants that.” A short pause.”You see, the bank has gone corrupt. Stealing withdraws, losing money. ..”

[04/19 05:40pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop adds, “So, yes. I say we. ..borrow some of it back.”

[04/19 05:41pm] <GERM> Kestrel mumbles something about there being nothing wrong with wheels, in her opinion. Then her brow furrows in confusion. “But they wouldn't like that much, would they?”

[04/19 05:41pm] <GERM> Accomplice Teh Dave hauls himself to his feet, slightly cross-eyed. Seems those shooters finally caught up to him. “What'reweborrowing?” He grabs one of the margaritas, finds an unoccupied chair, and flops into it.

[04/19 05:42pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop nods to Kestrel. “No. That's why we have a team. Make a plan. No one will know it was it.”

[04/19 05:43pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop sneezes. “Ah, us. No one will know it was us.”

[04/19 05:44pm] <GERM> Accomplice Teh Dave sips the chair thou. ..no. ..wait a sec. ..he stares at the margarita. Ahh, yes, that's how it goes. He sits in the chair, and sips the margarita.



[04/19 05:45pm] <GERM> Kestrel 's frown deepens. “Who else would it be? Scourges of the Spider. .. Spider. .. thingey. Kitty. Course they'd suspect the local nutters and drunkards.”

[04/19 05:45pm] <GERM> Lovely little toddler Bernard erupts, “Sod it! Let's go in there mob 'anded! Take a couple of sawn'offs, put tights on our heads, kick the doors in and scream, “YOU SLAHHHGS!”” he looks excited.

[04/19 05:45pm] <GERM> The Stray - SinkOrSwim waits for Bernard to speak some sense on the matter. He's a very patient man, evidently.

[04/19 05:45pm] <GERM> Accomplice Teh Dave grins widely. “Isn't there a pirate crew about the Island?” He happens to sort of be a part of that. ..but keeps that part quiet.

[04/19 05:45pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop shakes his head. “Do we really look that smart?”

[04/19 05:47pm] <GERM> Kestrel looks curiously and unfocusedly in the vague direction of Bernard. “You have tights? I've been looking for some, but Sheila doesn' seem to stock them. Blasted nuisance, that.”

[04/19 05:47pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop points to Bernard. “Thats the enthusiasm we need!” Maybe kids aren't so bad after all.

[04/19 05:51pm] <GERM> Lady Akitsu frowns, draining the last of her Bellini and starting up on her spiked Shirely Temple.

[04/19 05:51pm] <GERM> Accomplice Teh Dave would not be surprised to find out Bernard's in posession of tights. “You could check the costume boxes backstage, or the attic!” He offers helpfully to Kes.

[04/19 05:52pm] <GERM> The Stray - SinkOrSwim shakes his head. If Sheila ever starts stocking hoodies, we're all f*cked. ..

[04/19 05:53pm] <GERM> Lovely little toddler Bernard thinks aloud, “Look, it's either going to be a blag, or we're going to have to come up with an amazingly complex heist. Look at us. We're all pissed. Should we do the complex hustle?”

[04/19 05:53pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop interlaces his fingers. “If we do it right, we won't even be seen enough to need tights.”

[04/19 05:55pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop holds his hands out. “Well. Are you guys in, or out?”

[04/19 05:55pm] <GERM> Kestrel blinks in surprise at Bernard's words, and looks down to her trousers. Nope, she's fine. But she quickly slides her eyes to the ceiling, not wanting to know about anyone else.

[04/19 05:55pm] <GERM> Lovely little toddler Bernard reckons Sink will be disappointed in that piece of news.

[04/19 05:59pm] <GERM> Accomplice Teh Dave ponders a moment, then shrugs. “Sounds like it could be fun.” Yes, important decisions are always best made half-pissed. Or fully, depending on the severity.

[04/19 06:00pm] <GERM> Lady Akitsu sits back and crosses her legs, silently observing the room.

[04/19 06:00pm] <GERM> The Stray - SinkOrSwim shakes his head, and puts on a mock Scots accent “Just to let you know where I am, I think it's a shambles, your pitch was awful, and I can't see a future in it, so I'm out”

[04/19 06:01pm] <GERM> The Stray - SinkOrSwim waits for Bernard to be Deborah Meaden. ..

[04/19 06:03pm] <GERM> Lady Akitsu then stands, “I'm with Sink, albeit for different reasons. Sorry.” She leaves.

[04/19 06:04pm] <GERM> Lovely little toddler Bernard is Theo, he grabs the plan, tears it up and says, with a lisp, “My KIDS could 'ave 'ad an 'old on that plan, and look at it, sharp shards of paper. ..”

[04/19 06:04pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop frowns. “Right. Thanks anyway.”

[04/19 06:04pm] <GERM> Lovely little toddler Bernard would be in, when is the plan for, Bernard hopes for the weekend. Give the team chance to plan properly. I.E. Get some pizzas in, and watch as Kit does gymnastics.

[04/19 06:06pm] <GERM> Kestrel hasn't yet answered, and it doesn't look like she's going to. Her head seems to be rested on the bar surface, and despite not snoring, she does seem to be breathing more slowly.

[04/19 06:09pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop got one in. That's better than nothing. “Dave, we'll be trying to go for the weekend. Get a plan set up before then.”

[04/19 06:10pm] <GERM> Lovely little toddler Bernard puts his bib in the ring for the weekend.

[04/19 06:11pm] <GERM> Lovely little toddler Bernard drops off, fast asleep.

[04/19 06:14pm] <GERM> The Stray - SinkOrSwim waves a hand vaguely. “If you need a full team Jon, then I'll be there.”

[04/19 06:19pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop grins lightly. “Thank you. ..every person we have makes it that much safer.”

[04/19 06:25pm] <GERM> The Stray - SinkOrSwim nods. Or more dangerous. For someone, anyway. ..

[04/19 06:29pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop grabs another shot. Now that that's done, he's more welcome to it. “Ah, there we are.”

[04/19 06:37pm] <GERM> Accomplice Teh Dave blinkblinks. “Wait, I come up with a plan?”

[04/19 06:38pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop shakes his head. “No, no. We're in this together. A plan for all of us. Who's doing what, the timing, all of that.”

[04/19 06:48pm] <GERM> Accomplice Teh Dave ponders for a while, then nods, stumbling for the door. “Keep me informed.”

[04/19 06:49pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop puts a thumbs up. “Gotcha, mate! Later.”

Something by way of exposition:

Uncle Bernard potters about the main hall, tidying up after clannies who've left their periodicals lying around, or their coffee mugs leaving rings on the furniture. It's amazing how happy he is doing something Uncle Bernard wouldn't normally have engaged in, something so prosaic (and, some wags may attest, so close to manual labour). But there it is, a sense of contentment, & pride in what the clan have achieved. Uncle Bernard whistles as he works.. . Uncle Bernard suddenly has a realisation, “What the blue blazes was that bugger Bishop banging on about? A plan?” memory is hazy (as ever!) but you don't pass up opportunities to alliterate so plosively! Uncle Bernard almost automatically sits down, (luckily onto a Shackleton's Highchair) “What was he gibbering on about? Money? Banks?”had he appointed Bishop the clan treasurer? If so, he didn't recall.. . Uncle Bernard sits for a while, trying to sift through memories that float like blossom on a spring breeze. Or, more realistically, like daft chipmunks zipping about and falling off their wheel. Crivvens!

More exposition.

Uncle Bernard is in discussion with Whisplaw, “Well, I don't recall asking Bishop to be clan treasurer, but I suppose he must be.” “And you're of this opinion because.. .?” “Well, he mentioned banks.” Uncle Bernard doesn't know why he's trying to placate the get in such a way, “Plus, you know Bishop, honest as the day is long. He'd invest wisely, I'm sure.” Whisplaw retorts bitterly, “Are you mad?!” Uncle Bernard might just be. Whisplaw continues, “He's a menace. Just like the rest of you. If you're not careful, you may find yourselves in trouble! I've heard things from the other staff.. .” Uncle Bernard 's eyebrow raises, “I'm surprised they even talk to you!” he's right, “They don't! I just.. . overheard.. .” Bernard looks incensed, “Creeping around more like.. . Just like your.. .” Uncle Bernard pauses, just long enough for the pause - gravid and weighty - to drop to the floor, Whisplaw looks enraged, infuriated and.. . best of all.. . utterly impotent. His glass eye glints! Uncle Bernard stares at him impassively, “Whisplaw, this so-called relationship is entirely symbiotic, and I won't allow you to do anything to ruin things.” Whisplaw sputters, “You?! Hah! Old man!” Whisplaw continues his tirade, “You're utterly useless! What sort of leader are you anyway?! Ruinous! Do you see this” he jabs his finger at the neat piles of admin, “All me! ME!” Uncle Bernard allows a little smile to play out, “M'dear boy, I think you need some time away. You're becoming a touch over-engrossed. Besides,” he stares straight into the Administrator's good eye, Uncle Bernard voice drops a whole register, a whisper would be too strong a word, and he leans in to Whisplaw, “Besides, you don't want to cross me. Do. You. Understand.” and in that breath, Whisplaw recoils. Uncle Bernard smiles, brushes off an imaginary bit of toast from his cardigan, and takes his leave. Whisplaw watches him go, all sharp blades and blazing fire.

The Muscle

Improbable Central


[04/20 10:34am] <GERM> Jon Bishop scribbles away on a piece of paper, making an attempt at math. “A lot of metal, a bunch of wires.. .that's.. . five hundred million?! That isn't right.. .four hundred.” A pause. “I wish!.. .”

[04/20 10:40am] <DICE> KK Victoria has entered the Outpost, that one age-old adage in his mind. Carpe diem! “Seize the carp!” He shouts, clapping his hands once.

[04/20 10:41am] <DICE> KK Victoria will seize today's carp by.. . He scratches the dark red scruff built on his chin in contemplation. His earring jingles a little.

[04/20 10:43am] <DICE> KK Victoria 's pent up motivation to do something is.. . Wasted. Unless the motivation is instead used to find something to be motivated about.

[04/20 10:44am] <DICE> KK Victoria is now slightly depressed

[04/20 10:46am] <GERM> Jon Bishop flinches, dropping the paper. He doesn't bother to pick it up, as he probably made the numbers up anyway. “Wah? I have no carp.”

[04/20 10:47am] <DICE> KK Victoria considers, turning to Bishop. He lets out a breath of smoke with a question, “Can carp have seizure?” If not, well what 'They' say has been wrong for a very long time.

[04/20 10:49am] <GERM> Jon Bishop rubs the back of his head. “Uhm. I guess so. But.. .who cares? It's a fish.”

[04/20 10:51am] <DICE> KK Victoria rather likes fish. “They wrong.” He decides. They really do say a lot, it's good to clear up that They are actually quite wrong.

[04/20 10:53am] <GERM> Jon Bishop taps his shovel against the ground. “I doubt a seizure would make it taste any different, anyway.”

[04/20 10:53am] <DICE> KK Victoria nods slowly. “Suppose right.” Bishop is right, why can't They be? Bastards.

[04/20 10:55am] <GERM> Jon Bishop looks around awkwardly. “Did uh, “they” lie to you about fish?”

[04/20 10:56am] <DICE> KK Victoria growls, “Often!”

[04/20 10:56am] <DICE> KK Victoria just.. . Can't remember specifically when, but he was! To be sure!

[04/20 10:57am] <GERM> Jon Bishop grits his teeth. “Those bastards!” He doesn't understand why someone would ever lie aboutanything. It's certainly not something he would do.

[04/20 10:59am] <DICE> KK Victoria growls in agreement.

[04/20 11:01am] <DICE> KK Victoria needs to find a damn carp to seize with all this righteously motivated fury. He storms off to accomplish his new objective, leaving Bishop in the square.

[04/20 11:37am] Constable Swede walks in town, carrying the head of The Dark Wyvern of Hell. He heads over to TPS

[04/20 11:43am] <DICE> KK Victoria walks back in, bits of blood and guts dripping from his chops. He has the bloodied remains of a fish in his red-stained paws. He looks much more satisfied than he was when he stormed off.

[04/20 11:46am] <GERM> Jon Bishop 's eye twitches as he takes a few(more like ten) steps back. “You..you, uh. Got your carp?”

[04/20 11:47am] <DICE> KK Victoria closes his teeth around the vaguely intact head of the fish and tears it off from the bone, snapping it up with a few disturbingly loud crunches.

[04/20 11:47am] <DICE> KK Victoria doesn't dust the fish remains from his mouth. “Yes.” He responds.

[04/20 11:51am] <GERM> Jon Bishop shivers mildly. “I-uh.. .how was it?”

[04/20 11:52am] <DICE> KK Victoria ponders the fish that he had so casually massacred. “Seizing.” He decides.

[04/20 11:54am] <GERM> Jon Bishop tenses. “Good.. .good. I think.. .maybe I should uh, not be here anymore.” He turns, ready to make his way out. He stops after a couple steps, standing and thinking. A look back. “Say.. .Kai?.. .”

[04/20 11:55am] <DICE> KK Victoria “mmpffhs?” Through the snapping crunch of bones and flesh.

[04/20 11:57am] <GERM> Jon Bishop cringes, hesitating to take a few steps back. “Well, how would you feel about, I mean..if you.. .” A pause. “You're uh, really fucking terrifying, right?”

[04/20 11:58am] <DICE> KK Victoria blinks, finishing off the tail of the fish. He nods, “Mm. Yeh.” He responds after finishing off the fish.

[04/20 12:02pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop steps closer, but tries to keep his distance. “And do you like.. .money?”

[04/20 12:03pm] <DICE> KK Victoria perks. “Yeh?”

[04/20 12:07pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop is careful with his words. “There's a bank, you see. It's run by uh, them. And they are completely corrupt bastards.”

[04/20 12:07pm] <DICE> KK Victoria is following. “Entirely?” He responds, prompting Bishop to continue

[04/20 12:10pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop awkwardly places his hands together. “They are 'misplacing' deposits. Keeping it for themselves.”

[04/20 12:12pm] <DICE> KK Victoria nods slowly. “.. .Yes?”

[04/20 12:13pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop pauses. “And uh.. .well. Want to rob it?”

[04/20 12:14pm] <DICE> KK Victoria hms. The moment of thought lasts maybe a half-second. “Sure.”

[04/20 12:16pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop grins. “Great! Welcome to the team. ” He mildly holds out a hand.

[04/20 12:17pm] <DICE> KK Victoria accepts Bishop's hand in his own greasy, bloody, oily and bone-bit covered paw. “Team?”

[04/20 12:19pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop jerks back, looking for a place to wipe off his hand. “Agh! Fucking.. ..gross.” He flaps his hand in the air for a moment. “Yeah..a team. Easier that way, splitting into groups.. .”

[04/20 12:19pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop continues, “For.. .distractions. and cutting power. Things like that.”

[04/20 12:21pm] <DICE> KK Victoria nods, hms. “Yes. Is make sense.”

[04/20 12:22pm] <GERM> Jon Bishop begins to step out. “Right! Right. I'll get back to you. We're still planning.”

[04/20 12:22pm] <GERM> Jokerbot g_rock wanders by, and hears a bit of conversation that directly concerns him “Morning, Bishop.”

[04/20 12:23pm] <DICE> KK Victoria nods. “Yes, know where contact.” Kai waves with his blood-covered hand, and then wanders off out of the square.

The Plan

A picnic

20:46: Uncle Bernard saunters, casually onto the deck of the boat, once there, he unfurls a huge gingham picnic rug, and plonks down an enormous hamper. This same he unclasps, and starts to dole out cutlery, crockery,

21:48: Contestant Dusty 's ears both perk at the sight of the hamper. He, too, can saunter casually, as it just so happens, and he proves it by sauntering (casually) closer.

21:50: Uncle Bernard 's own personal stash of pickles - dill pickle, pickled onion, piccalilli, pickled red cabbage, pickled chilis, pickled beetroot. That is not, so far, to mention the cheeses.. . 23:22: Uncle Bernard places a huge Stinking Bishop, a large mature cheddar, a brie, a Chevre Blanc, some Blacksticks Blue, some Stilton, a nice soft roulade, crackers, rustic breads, celery, apple, grapes.. .

24:10: Uncle Bernard motions to Dusty to please feel free, whilst he brings out the sandwiches - smoked salmon, egg mayonnaise, ham, cucumber, cheese and tomato. There's crisps chips, dips, sparkling wine.. .

25:05: Uncle Bernard 's bottle of port is placed down, it's okay it's only an LBV so it doesn't need decanting. He tugs on a long string, dangling over the edge of the Bailfoat, and a basket of chilled beers appears.

25:25: Treblesom Fable shakes off a smidgen of fourth wall and nose twitching paces over to Bernard and his picnic. She appears to be completely unharmed by the jungle, not a scratch on her.

25:58: Uncle Bernard is Failboated, so he may as well make the best of it. From inside the hamper comes some sweets, a cheesecake, profiteroles, vanilla slices, biscuits, scones with clotted cream & jam. Tea and coffee.

27:01: Uncle Bernard smiles and offers Fable and Dusty a plate each, with a linen napkin on, “What ho. Care for a snackette?” it all looks good enough to eat.

28:00: Contestant Dusty has no idea how to start, in fact cannot even begin to identify most of the things on the rug. He gravitates towards the scones. You can't go wrong with scones.

29:12: Uncle Bernard would, could he just read minds, advise you can indeed, go wrong with scones. There was this one occasions where he was on a boat with Robert Maxwell, and, well, there was a dropped scone.. .

29:22: Contestant Dusty looks at the plate with wide eyes, then at the scone he has already acquired. He takes the plate with an awkward, “Um. Thank you.” He places the scone on the plate, then looks around for cues.

29:35: Treblesom Fable drops to an easy crouch beside Dusty, staring a bit flabbergasted at the arrangement before her. “Umm, maybe” Her gaze switches from the plate to the Jokers eyes.

30:03: Uncle Bernard is ashamed to admit, that next he knew he was having to tell Kevin the bad news. Still Bob got out of that uncomfortable business with all the pensions, so that was one bright point of light.. .

31:02: Uncle Bernard hasn't, of course, met his new companions, “I'm Bernard, pleased to meet you.. .?” he holds out his hand in greeting.

31:56: Treblesom Fable mutters, “ I'm Fable is the food going to do anything funny to me?” Her tail lashes slightly behind her, maybe a bit more paranoid today then is strictly normal for her.“

32:00: Kestrel uncurls herself from a fetal position, dumped on the deck by a passing Failor, at the smell of food. A quick, polite nod is given to the people, then her eyes slide in the direction of the edibles.

32:54: Contestant Dusty examines the hand for buzzers, scarves, lizards, odd glowing, hidden cards, weapons.. .but it would seem to be just a hand. “Dusty, hello.” He shakes.

32:58: Fuzzy Moth Ferryn seems to have approached, and is now circling above the makeshift picnic.

33:30: Uncle Bernard grins, “Wotcha Kes, we're having a Failboat Picnic. Bit of a tradition whenever I visit.”

34:17: Uncle Bernard turns back to Fable, “It'll make you full.” Bruce made it, so he wouldn't expect the food to do anything odd.

34:55: Kestrel swallows a mouthful of profiterole, and hastily wipes the cream frm her upper lip. “Oh - it's a very good idea, it really is. Cheers people up, I'm sure.” She throws a grin Ferryn-wards.

35:02: Contestant Dusty looks around. Gosh. The basket has brought oh so many people.

35:33: Fuzzy Moth Ferryn lands, somewhat clumsily, next to the foods, antennae twitching. She approaches the grapes.

36:09: Uncle Bernard pops a selection on a plate for Ferryn.

36:58: Fuzzy Moth Ferryn has stolen as many grapes as she can fit in her hands. And mouth. She looks over to the offered plate.

37:08: Contestant Dusty carefully reaches for one of the only other familiar items of food, the tea. They do not have much in the way of variety, where he comes from.

37:30: Treblesom Fable settles onto the deck, folding her legs in front of her and snags one of the beers. She also snags a shiny red tomato.

38:40: Uncle Bernard notes Dusty's reticence, “Here, have some pickles, you'll like them. The beetroot I pickled myself*” *Bruce pickled them.

39:24: Contestant Dusty steals a look around, then dips his scone into his tea. Hardly appropriate behavior, but he is such a rebel.

39:30: Kestrel peers at the bottles of wine until she finds one of the less sparkling variety. She pours herself a very small glass, then offers rather more reasonable amounts to the others here.

40:50: Contestant Dusty examines the beetroot, then takes it and, after a cautious sniff that reflects the inner Kittymorph, takes a bite.

41:35: Fuzzy Moth Ferryn bites down on the grapes in her mouth, juice leaking out from between her lips. She burbles happily.

42:09: Contestant Dusty takes the wine, as well. It would appear it is his habit to take whatever is offered him. Courtesy like that will likely get him killed one of these days.

43:31: Treblesom Fable twists the cap off her beer and takes a swig, idly turning the tomato round in the fingers of her other hand.

43:36: Contestant Dusty is not slated to die from etiquette today, however! His bite of the beetroot is followed by a slight rrow of surprised pleasure. It vanishes in short order.

45:05: Fuzzy Moth Ferryn scoops up a couple more grapes and skitters off into a corner to enjoy them in peace.

45:19: Kestrel takes a short break from demolishing profiteroles to carefully uncross her legs, and change the bandages covering her feet.

45:45: Treblesom Fable watches Dusty devour the beet root. The juicy red things should be a favorite of vegan zombies - certainly look gory enough.

45:54: Contestant Dusty takes, after a glance at Bernard, a selection of other pickled things. “Iffth,” he swallows and blushes, tail lashing with embarrasment, “It's good, thank you.”

45:55: Uncle Bernard is playing Mother, handing out snacks, nibbles, sarnies, chips, crisps, crudites in short order. Eschewing the tea service, he brings out an old Thermos, and pours himself a plastic cup full of tea.

48:02: Treblesom Fable holds her tomato close to her face, breathing in the pleasant smell of itskin before sinking her teeth in.

49:05: Contestant Dusty offers Fable a small grin. He's gotten better at smiling since being introduced to pickled things.

49:52: Kestrel nods her thanks to Bernard at the rather large amount of food suddenly dumped in her lap. She starts putting crisps into the sammiches, seeming a mite distracted.

50:56: Spandex says, “someone called for a crude-ite?” She KRAknchmnchs a dillpickle.

51:43: Treblesom Fable returns the smile with a radiant on of her own..well radiant other then the fact that she's chewing, a lump of tomato making her cheek bulge.

52:11: Treblesom Fable turns on into one with a twitch.

52:15: Uncle Bernard is delighted! “Ah see, through pickles we all become closer! Would anyone care for some Stinking Bishop - with a little of this onion marmalade, it's utterly fantabulous!”

53:09: Uncle Bernard hands Dexter a large plate piled high with sangers and pickles, “Here you go chief, get your laughing gear round this.”

53:16: Contestant Dusty tries the wine and makes the discovery that it does not taste nice with pickeld cabbage. The wine is abandoned, for now, and a sandwich is acquired.

54:21: Uncle Bernard offers Dusty a beer, “This should do the trick.. .”

54:59: Treblesom Fable takes another bite of her tomato, tearing into merrily, she manages to swallow before opening her mouth. .. .Whats Stinking Bishop? 56:15: Contestant Dusty takes the beer and treats it to a long, thoughtful stare. Whether this is to work out how to open it or to scare it into submission will never be known.

56:25: Kestrel grins over to Dex, then slides suspicious eyes to the offered cheese. “Hmm.. . I'll be sticking with cheddar, I think. And not just because of the name.”

56:41: Spandex couldn't possibly be closer or she'd break Pauli's exclusion principle, for right now she's sitting on Bernard. “Onions shouldn't be marmaladed.” She snifs at the plate.

56:47: Uncle Bernard grins, “It is a Prince amongst cheeses! High as an old kite, but absolutely gorgeous! GORGEOUS!” he slices an oozing chunk, and places it on a plate, dollops on some onion marmalade and a cracker 57:00: Uncle Bernard hands the plate to Fable.

59:19: Spandex pinches her nose with one hand, “with parn of bish doeth ith come from?”

00:27: Treblesom Fable tucks the rest of her tomato into her mouth, looking at the new offering as she licks the tomatoes juices from her fingers. Her expression is one of skepticism..

00:31: Uncle Bernard disagrees! “Of course they should! Caramelised! Cooked down with vinegar and wine.. . The addition of brown sugar elevates this simple condiment to the pantheon of the GODS!”

00:45: Contestant Dusty tussles with the beer and is eventually rewarded with a satisfying tschhknk! as it opens. He peers into the bottle, cat-curious.

01:34: Kestrel can't help but grin at Dusty's curiosity, but hides it behind the wine glass. She also follows the progress of the cheese-plate, suspicion growing in her eyes.

02:44: Contestant Dusty says, very slowly, “I think my mother told me about this sort of thing.” But wait, he is getting confused, for has he not been a Kittymorph all his life?

03:31: Treblesom Fable picks up the cheesy creation and sniffs at it, trying not to let the gooey cheese slip through her fingers.

03:49: Contestant Dusty closes one eye and squints the other into the foam. “I think she said it is bad for you and that is why I have no father.” But that can't be right.

03:50: Kestrel grins even wider at the kittymorph's words. “Did she tell you how to avoid it, perchance?”

04:26: Uncle Bernard looks down at the plate in horror, “I didn't realise it was Jon Bishop! I didn't, I didn't!”

05:07: Kestrel blinks, then quickly shuts up. Partially because she was interrupting, and partially because his mother had a good reason. Thoughtful, she helps herself to a few red grapes.

05:48: Treblesom Fable tacks on a -creation into her mouth.

05:56: Contestant Dusty looks up, an expression of confusion arguing with one of curiosity for supreme reign of his face.

06:24: Treblesom Fable talks around her mouthfull of stinky potant cheese ”.. .who?..“

07:43: Kestrel looks slowly between the cheese and Bernard. ”.. .How are you planning to tell Merlin that you fed her husband to people on the Failboat?“

07:48: Uncle Bernard realises he's being foolish, and smiles, wanly, “Never mind, it's not really Jon, I was speaking to him earlier. He'd have had to decompose quite some way to smell like this.” he indicates cheese

08:23: Contestant Dusty 's attention span is, however, that of a Kittymorph, and the bottle it is making a fizzling. That must mean it's good! A sip is taken, and joy is discovered.

09:15: Spandex re-parks herself next to Kestrel. She inhales a grape with a THOP! while watching Dusty struggle. For her, Curiousity holds champion title in all matches, regardless of weight, class or event.

10:40: Contestant Dusty starts experimenting. Does the bottlestuff taste good with grapes? Yes it does! Does the bottlestuff taste good with cheese? Yes it does!

10:56: Treblesom Fable blanches swallowing after a few moments trying to decide how to politely spit out someone's husband. She hurriedly takes a few chugs of her beer, half downing it.

11:46: Spandex points to the stinky cheese, “comes from his toe interstices.”

11:51: Treblesom Fable had quite liked the cheese thing before the little joke.

11:57: Contestant Dusty tries the bottlestuff with sandwiches and with the Bishop-who-isn't-Jon-Bishop (who is that?), and tomatoes, and another sandwich.. .

12:19: Kestrel glances carefully around herself, then throws caution to the winds. “Have you done anything to annoy Dan recently, Bernard?” she asks casually, sipping her way down the wine glass.

13:01: Spandex clarifies, “though then technically speaking some may want to call it a Jam, but it is a cheese. I stick to the hard ones, myself.”

13:24: Uncle Bernard humphs, “Recently? Like, how 'recently'?”

14:28: Kestrel shrugs lightly. “It may be nothing. 'S just that he closed the pub when he saw me coming. Thought it may've been the clan badge. So how recently? I couldn't say.”

15:20: Spandex must have been downwind from Kestrel. She wipes Caution off the side of her face. Comes off easily, at least. “Dan? What now, Bernard?”

15:22: Uncle Bernard taps his chin, “Humn.. . I think I may need to get back to reality.. . Nice as the picnic has been, I think I have things to attend to. Dan and his cronies being one of them.. . Anyone joining me?”

16:03: The Proffessor lands on the failboat with a thump. Note to Self: Do not aim for the second claw of Dali the Four-Clawed Lobster.

16:23: Treblesom Fable nods a bit and downs her beer. “I'm about ready to abandon my sea legs. ”

16:52: Spandex was just hanging here from a bungee attached to the comms tent. She nods and tugs on the elasticky rope.

16:57: Kestrel considers the question for a moment, finishes her drink, and gets stiffly to her feet. “If you don't mind my company, I'm pretty curious about what's going on.”

17:19: Uncle Bernard whistles. There is a dull whine from the shore, then a huge CLAP as the sound barrier is breached. All anyone can see is a heat haze off the port bow as jet exhausts expulse into the sea air.

17:49: Treblesom Fable gets to her feet and nicking another tomato heads for the pits. “Thanks for feeding me!”

17:53: Uncle Bernard waves to those staying, and casually leaps off the side of the boat.

18:10: Uncle Bernard splashes into the water. The silly old bastard had jumped off the starboard bow. 18:38: Spandex offers a hand to Kes if she wants a zip up with.. ..

18:48: Kestrel wastes no time in dashing belowdecks, to buy her way off of this boat.

18:56: Contestant Dusty looks up from his second bottle of bottlestuff. “Thank you very much,” he says with a happy grin that may very well be his first. Ever.

19:01: Uncle Bernard curses loudly from the bay. Luckily for him, the sharks are well fed, and Zimmer is close to hand to extricate him from his self-induced-sticky-situation.

19:06: The Proffessor watches Bernard jump off. “Isn't there a titan down there?” He pauses for a moment. “Oh well. I feel sorry for it.”

19:13: Kestrel waves away Dex's offer, but gives her a thankful smile nonetheless. And then, she's gone.

19:42: Spandex zzzzzzzzps upwards, Kestrel-less, for now. “Bye all!”

Outside the PSK

18:20:05: Uncle Bernard is deposited, soaking wet, from on the Failboat in the middle of IC.

18:20:26: Kestrel returns, but this time hovers near the gate, and doesn't approach the pub. She starts retying a bandage around her ankle while she waits.

18:21:23: Uncle Bernard goes and peers through the windows of the PSK. There's people in there now, but he turns back to Kes, “Well, this is a rum do and no mistake. I wonder what's going on now.”

18:22:16: Spandex unclips the 'beaner that the comms tent bungee was tied to, and crouches next to Kes. “okay, you? what happened?”

18:22:56: Uncle Bernard strolls up towards Kes, “Do you know what Bishop was talking about the other night, a plan?”

18:23:07: Kestrel glances back up, quickly finishes, and walks over quietly to join him. “Hmm. Maybe it was just concidence. Should we take a look inside, just to check?”

18:24:10: Kestrel pivots around on one foot. “Oh. Just some dotty wizard to the south-west. Hot coals, and thar.” At Bernard's words, her expression promptly turns worried. “I'm really not sure.”

18:25:20: Uncle Bernard strokes his chin, thoughtfully, “I'm at a loss. There is definitely something going on. I wonder if Bish is about. If he's wearing his chip, I'll be able to see him from the old clan offices, eh?”

18:26:06: Spandex tries to act unsurprised that Bernard knows the Plan by poking at her toes.

18:26:12: Uncle Bernard stalks off towards the old offices, but soon comes back shaking his liver-spotted bonce, “Oh, I don't know. But I know a man who may.. . Has Mountjoy been about today?”

18:26:48: Uncle Bernard notes that Dexy is showing a 'tell', “Dextrous, what do YOU know about what's happening with Bishop?”

18:27:31: Kestrel 's frown deepens. “Mountjoy? I swear.. . I may be wrong, but didn't he break his leg?” She seems very unsure about this fact.

18:28:43: Uncle Bernard claps his hands together, “Is that why he was so slow bringing me fresh towels?! Bloody cheek of the man! I bet he's claiming sick pay!”

18:29:12: Spandex stops her poking. She can't lie, but dodging's do-able, “Drinking rum and cake out of his shovel? And.. . ummm.. . disco-dancing?”

18:30:26: Kestrel is immediately distracted by the fiddling Dex. “No, something more significant than that. You trust us, right? Tell us what it is.”

18:30:48: Uncle Bernard is incredulous! “I'm incredulous!” he notes, helpfully, “Drinking rum! Bishop. He's acting strangely, I'm going to have to have words with him. He's up to something. Is it to do with his TWAT?”

18:31:56: Uncle Bernard makes a face, “Is that what he called it? His TWATTER? TWUNTER? Whatever it was.. .”

18:32:31: Spandex cringes, because she's got secrets about that as well. “No. He doesn't have that anymore.”

18:33:13: Spandex tells her toes, “is a twitter.”

18:33:17: Uncle Bernard really, really peers at Dexy, “Are you keeping things back, here, McDexoworth?”

18:33:56: Kestrel kneels down next to Dex, trying to make eye contact. “Dex, please trust us. This is important - more so than you know. Please, just tell us.”

18:35:30: Spandex groans and covers her ears with her hands, “yes! What is this? The Spanish Imposition?! okay. maybe best to not talk here though?”

18:37:23: Uncle Bernard agrees, “My office?”

18:38:29: Kestrel gets to her feet again, and offers Dex a hand up. She does feel a little guilty for being so rude.

18:39:54: Spandex still isn't so sure about this, whatwith B being Authority 'n that. “Yeh. How 'bout Thursday? I've a lot on at the moment.”

18:40:57: Uncle Bernard looks all stern, “Dex, this is really important. If we don't get this sorted someone could end up hurt, or worse. I don't want that, and I'm sure you don't either.”

18:42:32: Spandex stands up on her own thankyouverymuch Miss swot. “B. Since when you get all.. . matronly 'n shit? This another one of your phases?”

18:43:39: Uncle Bernard smiles, “Good, then we're decided. My office. If you see Mountjoy either of you, ask him to keep an ear out, as well, eh?”

18:44:37: Kestrel nods at Bernard. “Will do.” She looks, for a moment, as though she's about to say more. Then she shrugs, and heads north.

18:47:16: Spandex watches them leave, and considers her options. She decides to go find Bishop, herself.

18:47:32: Uncle Bernard tries to placate Dex, “We're not asking you to grass,” is that still the vernacular? “But I'm worried. I don't think everything is going to plan. And that could spell danger for all of us!

Bernard's Office - A Clan Meeting

18:59:15: Spandex pulls her elbow out of Bernard's grip and leans against a wall, looking sour-faced.

18:59:28: Uncle Bernard starts putting out chairs, “Bish you sit right here, next to me. Dex, you over there, Sink, Kes.. . Anyone else coming?”

19:00:12: Uncle Bernard looks up, “Oh, this is almost like a proper meeting. Will someone take notes?”

19:00:28: Jon Bishop nervously grips his hands together in front of him. “Right.. .right.”

19:01:46: SinkOrSwim walks in chuckling, Kes with him. “Present!”

19:02:09: Uncle Bernard wonders where the tea is, “Who's organised the tea?”

19:02:15: Kestrel steers in a Sink, and plonks herself down on what is hopefully the correct chair. Then she stays quiet, listening.

19:03:31: Uncle Bernard really could do with a biscuit. “Right, something is going on, and I want to know, straight from the horses mouth, what it is.” he almost looks serious.

19:03:47: Spandex doesn't sit, she stands right where she was.

19:04:29: Uncle Bernard explains, he knows what his clan is like, “That was a figurative description, I do not want one of you to decapitate a horse, then throw your voice to tell me. Capiche?”

19:04:45: SinkOrSwim removes a bag of Jaffa Cakes from his pack. Not biscuits, admittedly, but close. He places them silently on the desk, offering them round.

19:04:49: Jon Bishop inches towards the door. “Right, I'll uh, get that tea while you guys figure out what is going on.”

19:05:23: Uncle Bernard drums his fingers on his desk, he's waiting. “I'm waiting.” he extrapolates, for anyone not paying attention.

19:05:50: Uncle Bernard clamps his hand on Bishop's shoulder, “Jon, why don't you tell me what is going on. EH?”

19:06:17: SinkOrSwim throws a Jaffa Cake at Bernard.

19:06:25: Kestrel quickly takes a small blue dragon from her shoulder, and places him on the doorhandle. There. Now, anyone wanting to leave will get a palmful of fire for their trouble.

19:07:32: Kestrel takes one Jaffa Cake for herself, and another for the unwilling door-keeper. “Cheers,” she murmurs quietly, still watching Bishop.

19:07:35: Jon Bishop bites his lip. “Well I, Uh. It's not any.. .I'm not doing anything.”

19:07:36: Uncle Bernard catches said confection twixt two fingers, like Mr Miyagi in a tweed jacket. This said cake is then munched, viciously. With maximum effect. And extreme prejudice. “Sink, where did you get these?”

19:08:30: Uncle Bernard digresses, “No, I digress. Jon, carry on. And don't leave anything out.”

19:08:53: SinkOrSwim winks at Bernard. “Secret stash of smashing orangey bits, sensei.”

19:09:39: calliaphone wanders in, asleep on her feet. At the sound of voices, she startles awake and stares around in some confusion.

19:10:16: Spandex leans on one of the grey metal filing cabinets and fiddles with the slidey thingie that unlocks it. She knows there's booze in his office somewhere.

19:11:13: Jon Bishop anxiously glances around the room. “Uh, uh. Well there was a bit of a thing planned.. .”

19:11:58: Uncle Bernard raises one eyebrow, like all the best interrogators, so he thinks.

19:12:44: Kestrel silently offers callia the spare seat beside her, and nudges Sink to pass the Jaffa Cakes back over.

19:13:13: calliaphone steals a jaffa cake from Sink, and sits down in a corner to eat it. seems like some kind of a tea party going on.

19:14:15: SinkOrSwim offers the Jaffa Cakes freely. No stealing is necessary. Hmmm.. .

19:14:51: Jon Bishop sighs. “We were going to.. .borrow a bit of money?”

19:15:26: Kestrel hides a smile at callia's actions, and helps herself to a few more Jaffa Cakes, now that they're here again. Another murmured thanks, feeling guilty for breaking the near-silence.

19:15:42: Uncle Bernard shakes his head, “I bloody remember now! You were going to rob the bleeding bank!”

19:16:45: Uncle Bernard stands and starts pacing, “Rob the flipping bank. I mean! Were you lot in on this?” he turns to face the other clannies in the room.

19:17:44: Spandex quietly and unnoticedly gets the drawer slid open a few inches. Files: Requisitions, Inquisitions, Propositions, Prepositions, Permutations, Palpitations, Provocations.. . She pushes it open further..

19:17:52: calliaphone says, “whuhhh?” munchcrunch.

19:17:56: Kestrel holds both hands out in a gesture of innocence, but still turns a little pale. She can't remember anyone of that night. Did she agree to help, or not?

19:18:24: SinkOrSwim hums quietly in the corner. “Daddy was a bankrobber, he never hurt nobody. He just loved to live that way, and loved to steal your money.. .”

19:18:52: Jon Bishop hesitates. “Yeah but..but! It wasn't going to hurt anyone!” Well, hiring KK means someone probably was going to get killed.

19:19:43: Uncle Bernard glares at the assembled clan members, “Was anyone else involved? Don't tell me you'd gone and roped in DICE into this.. . this.. .”

19:19:47: SinkOrSwim surreptitiously slides a hand over the folder marked 'p* *n'. No sense scaring people with that one.

19:22:06: Jon Bishop crosses his arms. “Of.. .of course not!” A short mumble after.

19:22:25: Uncle Bernard paces left to right, “Come on! Cat got your tongue?!”

19:23:04: Uncle Bernard sits again, “So what was the grand plan? Were you just going to waltz in and ask nicely for the money?”

19:23:10: Spandex bingos: Potables. She pulls out a bottle of.. . “Cockburns?” ummm.. . sherry? blecch. But, 'tis a desperate time. She uncorks and swallows. “Whachoo got, Sink? Pawn?”

19:24:58: Jon Bishop shakes his head. “N..no! We had.. .special jobs for everyone!”

19:26:15: Corporal Althea :, having heard voices, slips into the room to see what the hubbub is about.

19:26:34: SinkOrSwim nods. It was a hard time, something had to go to hock. Granny wasn't worth that much.. .

19:28:09: Spandex is saddened, she liked Granny. Granny would eat all her dried fruit.

19:28:12: Corporal Althea :wrinkles her nose at the bottle Dex is holding and opens her coat, displaying a veritable treasure trove of spirits. She pulls out a bottle of gin and offers it to Dex.

19:29:19: SinkOrSwim removes the subfolder, confusingly also marked 'P**n'. He rifles through it. Photos of a bank, plans of a bank, street maps, weapons requisition forms, and a sheet of sums on the weight of gold.

19:29:35: SinkOrSwim looks at the various sheets. Evidently not important. He puts the folders back in the draw

19:29:36: Kestrel offers a very distracted wave to Althea, but is mostly preocuppied with looking even more thoughtful at Bishop's words.

19:32:20: Uncle Bernard uhs, “Special jobs?” he shakes his head, “Do you even have a plan?”

19:33:45: Jon Bishop mumbles. “Erm. Uh. Yeah! Someone would check it out before.. .and someone would cut the power. Then uh, two would go in and swipe the money.”

19:33:55: Uncle Bernard actually has a smile on his vizzog, “You don't do you?! Oh boy! How did we ever come to be the General Engineering, RACKETEERING and Musical guild, eh?”

19:34:32: Uncle Bernard turns to the assembled clannies, “Can someone just check Mountjoy is still in the corridor, I have something important to tell you all.”

19:35:02: calliaphone 's head rests on Kestrel's shoulder. A jaffa cake melts chocolate into her hand. She's either listening intently or fast asleep.

19:36:06: Spandex swills the sherry with a cough, “Your crony's got her Pet on the doorhandle. We can't”

19:36:30: Kestrel would go to check, but she has a callia on her shoulder. And don't forget the listening closely that she's been doing this whole time.

19:37:26: Kestrel reddens slightly, and reaches out a hand to untangle the dragon-tail and doorhandle. “Sorry,” she mumbles, kagero being dumped in a graceless heap on her lap.

19:38:04 Mountjoy's voice can be heard from outside, “I'm still 'ere sir. You've got me at the top of the stairs and I can't reverse this bloody wheelchair.. .”

19:38:48: Uncle Bernard nods, “Okay, now, listen carefully everyone. What I am about to say may shock and surprise all of you. Whisplaw is a mole.”

19:40:26: Kestrel makes herself a little more comfortable on her chair, listening with only a vague hint of interest, now.

19:40:57: calliaphone opens an eye at that. “doncha mean a gopher?”

19:41:33: Uncle Bernard lets that sink in, “However, I'm firmly of the opinion that we should keep our friends close.. . So that's why he's here. He's feeding information back to the Improbable Central Council.”

19:42:35: Uncle Bernard goes on, “And they've compiled quite a lot of evidence about us. They want us banned. All of us arrested. The clan sent into exile. And worst of all, they want a claim on the land where the Hall is

19:43:26: Uncle Bernard continues, “I think Whisplaw knows about your plan, Bish. I think he's made his own plans to catch whoever it is breaks into that bank, and if it's one of us, that's it, we're toast. Or scones.”

19:43:48 That Sink was already in. And sits, looking bemused.

19:44:08: Jon Bishop frowns. “Oh shit. I can't go to jail!” He glances around the room, looking for someone else to blame.

19:44:16: Spandex sets the bottle down firmly on the cabinet and makes for the door, buckling on her bandolier. “Yeh. Where is he? I'll deal with him.”

19:44:20: Uncle Bernard tries to weigh up which would be worse, “On balance, it's toast. So.. . I can't let you rob that bank, Bish. We'd all be for the high jump.. .” he leaves a pregnant pause hanging around..

19:45:56: Uncle Bernard smiles at Dex, “If he 'goes missing' or 'turns up his toes' that'd be it for us as well. He's got stuff on us. That's why I had to give him the job.” he's looking a bit downcast, now.

19:47:10: Uncle Bernard looks around the room, all those faces, all looking a little down at not being able to participate in a wee bit of grand larceny, “I, however, have a new plan.”

19:47:34: Jon Bishop squints. “Damn.. .so we're stuck with him.. .”

19:47:42: Kestrel shifts a little more on the chair, which seems a little uncomfortable. All the while puzzling over what on earth they could arrest her for.

19:48:12: Spandex pauses at the door, considering, “Fine. I can just hurt him - or convince him he's got other interests.”

19:49:04: Spandex adds, “And why didn't you tell us about him sooner, B?”

19:49:38: SinkOrSwim thinks they've got nothing on him. He's hardly been here. He contemplates sauntering away, but that would be no fun.. .

19:50:47: Uncle Bernard laughs a bit nervously, “Well, he'd sorted out our bloody backlog of admin. Last time we tried to do that, we set fire to Squat Hole. Look, do you want to hear the plan, or engage in recriminations?”

19:51:50: Uncle Bernard knows they've got shit on each and every member of the clan, and some of it was uncomfortable reading, I mean, who was to know that Sink enjoyed ballroom scratching so much.

19:52:10: SinkOrSwim pipes up from the corner. “Why us, Bernard. Why GERM? What have they got against us?”

19:52:34: SinkOrSwim scratches his ballroom, nervously. Oh yeah.. .

19:53:45: Uncle Bernard addresses the clan, “It's a lot of things, Dan in the PSK is one of them. Whisplaw, well.. . He's Mountjoy's brother. Would you believe it. They hate one another. All sorts of stuff.”

19:54:25: Jon Bishop grumbles to himself. “No money then.. .fuck.”

19:55:03: Uncle Bernard stops again, “Look! Do you want to hear the plan? It's all well and good fannying about, but Bishop didn't organise a bank heist for nothing! And, I want rid of Whisplaw!”

19:55:29: Kestrel hesitates. Has this question been asked already, without her paying attention, or not? She asks quietly, “Bishop, what did you need the money for?”

19:57:45: calliaphone says, “ugh, coleslaw.” she thinks Bernard's got the right idea.

19:59:09: Jon Bishop crosses his arms. “I need it. Might be the only way to reach someone.” He quickly diverts his attention back to Bernard. “What's the plan?”

19:59:13: Uncle Bernard points at Callia, “See, Callia wants rid of Whisplaw as well. Now, are you all sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin.. .”

20:00:46: Spandex finally accepts Althea's offer of gin. She unwheels the top off, swills, and listens.

20:02:20: Uncle Bernard blah blah blahs, and yada yada yadas, outlining plans for ropers, fixers and lures. He sketches ideas for inside men, the long con and the general grift, “And that's how it should work.

20:04:52: Spandex loves it. She gets to be incorrigible and belligerent for Good Reason.

20:11:47: Kestrel contents herself with looking blank, and nodding as though she understand what he means.

20:16:50: Jon Bishop agrees. “That will work.”

20:22:27: SinkOrSwim shrugs. “Kick the tyres and light the fires.. .”

20:35:57: Corporal Althea :blinks, having zoned out for a bit. She contemplates what she has heard and nicks a leftover Jaffa cake. She departs, unsure if she is ready to embrace the racketeering side of GERM just yet.

20:37:51: Kestrel tips her hat distractedly to Althea, and contemplates also disappearing, but her curiosity becomes too much. She stays, looking round at the others here.

20:39:52: Uncle Bernard nods, it's okay about Althea, she's already racketeering - she's doing all the knocked off booze.. .

21:09:03: Jon Bishop stands. “Well, the hell we waiting for? Let's get this started!”

21:10:24: Uncle Bernard wonders, “Won't we all need special code names?”

21:13:12: Jon Bishop considers. “Right! We would, wouldn't we?” A thought. “I'm daewoo. Jon.”

Descent into Madness -or- When a Heist begins to Go Wrong.

21:13:30: KK Victoria barges in, hefting a massive green weapon crate on his shoulder. He looks about a bit like he forgot what he came in here for.

21:14:36: Uncle Bernard is jealous of Bishop's code name.. . “Right, I'll be Uncle.”

21:14:46: KK Victoria hefts the crate, “Things.” He declares, dropping it with a heavy SLAM onto Bernard's desk.

21:14:58: Kestrel watches Jon and Bishop blankly for a very long moment, finding it hard to believe that they're actually planning to rob a bank. Then she manages a weak wave to the person who just entered.

21:15:11: Sicpuess peeks in with a slightly bewildered expression. Dex said something about Interesting, and now she's just been following KK.. .

21:16:55: KK Victoria bashes the lock off of the crate and pulls it open. It is crammed full of all kinds of weapons. Throwing darts, claymores, bean bag shotguns, ski-masks, sheets of chain mail, tommy guns.. .

21:17:02: Jon Bishop grins. “Oh! Fantastic. We needed things.”

21:17:08: Uncle Bernard takes Kai and Bish and Sic to one side, where they can have a conflab.. . “Whisper, whisper, whisper, whisper, whisper.. .”

21:24:11: KK Victoria nods quietly.

21:25:58: Spandex tries to think of a code name. She's stuck. She's hrmming. Then, “Eureka!” And so it was.

21:26:08: Jon Bishop agrees, whispering along.

21:26:20: SinkOrSwim tilts his head. Good to go whenever

21:28:19: SinkOrSwim flickers, and suddenly has acquired an alter-ego. Really, NO-ONE will see through this one.. .

21:29:15: Kestrel massages her forehead confusedly, flicking her eyes between the other people in the room.

21:29:49: Spandex is rifling through the crate and holds up a tommygun she likes, “Kai? What's this rifle whatsit with the film canister bolted on?”

21:30:57: KK Victoria turns about, “S'tommy gun. Drum magazine.”

21:31:17: Jon Bishop breaks away from the whispering, looking over to the equipment. He doesn't understand how most of it works, but they're scary as all hell, and that's what matters.

21:32:04: SinkOrSwim flicks out extendable Adamandtheantsium claws. Someone, in a movie theatre somewhere, coughs. “Cough cough *Ripoff”!* cough.. .”

21:32:16: Uncle Bernard wanders in, wearing a fantabulous moustache, it's droopy but proud at the same time, “Hello you lot.” no-one will recognise him.

21:33:06: Spandex nods at Kai and starts looking in the crate, “I don't see any mags in here, Kai, just gunsnshit?” And really, what's drumming have to do with how her gun works.

21:33:27: Uncle Bernard wants something by C&A, “Is this one of those C&A carbines, Kai?”

21:34:08: Uncle Bernard looks around, “Who the fuck are YOU lot?”

21:34:19: KK Victoria frowns at Spandex, then takes the gun. He releases the magazine, then shows her the opening at the top. A single bullet peeks out. “It's feed.” He states. “Call Drum Magazine.”

21:35:08: Jon Bishop puts a mask over his head. “Huh. Fuzzy.” He takes up some throwing darts, as they're the only thing he understands.

21:35:09: KK Victoria slams it back into the Tommy gun. “Hold many bullet.” Kai looks to Bernard. “Am sure one in.” He responds, pointing to the crate.

21:35:34: Sicpuess finds 08/15s. And takes two, because well.. . they jam. Often. .. . It's a security implemention! Design!

21:35:38: Spandex watches and nods, “Okay. Only one bullet? Is it silver?”

21:36:02: SinkOrSwim nods. The famous Thompson Sub-Machine Gun. Only one variant had the drum magazine. But, we digress.

21:36:40: Kestrel stares blankly at the contents of the crate, then idly considers disappearing while she still can. She shakes herself a little, gathering her courage, and breathes deeply for a moment.

21:36:52: Uncle Bernard starts looking through the weapons, “Do they not do gatling guns, or GAU-8 Avenger on gimbals?”

21:36:57: Sicpuess was underestimating weight though, and.. . no. She continues to raffle in the box.

21:37:17: KK Victoria frowns. “No, not silver.”

21:37:36: Uncle Bernard chucks Kes on her shoulder, friendly-like, he lifts one edge of his tashe, “It's me, Bernard. You all right there? This'll be fun!”

21:38:13: Spandex interrupted Kai. She shuffles next to Sic, who seems to know what she's doing, too. “S'this what you DICErs get up to down in yer barn, issit?”

21:38:26: SinkOrSwim throws Kes a small, silver, needle-pointed gun out of the crate, small enough to fi in the palm of one hand. “The Noisy Cricket”

21:39:05: Uncle Bernard dives for cover! SHIIIIT!

21:39:26: Kestrel jumps a little, stammers unintelligibly for a few seconds, then decides to shut up until she can speak properly. After a moment, “What the heck do you want me to do?”

21:39:40: Jon Bishop finds himself a bean-bag shotgun, as well. “The hell? These aren't bullets.”

21:40:23: KK Victoria takes out a very large claymore from the crate, slinging it over his shoulder. Then a shotgun, then an M80 SAW, a few revolvers, and a crossbow.

21:40:49: Kestrel catches the gun reflexively, and holds it up to her face to examine it. “Oooh, this is pretty! I wonder what happens.. .” She strokes the trigger, just lightly, pointing it towards the door.

21:41:19: Uncle Bernard is hidin'

21:41:31: SinkOrSwim reaches into the box and finds knives. Great big fuck-off shiny ones. “Guns for show, knives for a pro.” He tucks a couple into his bandolier, trying tot to slice his nipples off.

21:41:34: KK Victoria was already carrying enough firearms, now it is simply gratuitous.

21:41:52: Jon Bishop winces, sliding to the side.

21:43:00: SinkOrSwim catches the tot running across his speech and admonishes it NOT to do that again. Then he dives for cover as Kes strokes the Cricket.. .

21:43:46: Kestrel gets the idea that she shouldn't be playing with such a serious weapon. She shrugs, unbuckles her weapons belt, and drops it on a nearby chair.

21:43:52: KK Victoria slides a hatchet to his bandoleer, grabs a couple magazines, a few tear gas grenades, and an RGS-50 to launch them.

21:44:02: Uncle Bernard watches as the doorway is totally destroyed. There's not even smoke to apologise for where it was.

21:44:09: Kestrel sees people diving

21:44:49: Uncle Bernard asks, “Kai, are you going to wear a disguise? What about one of Dexy's sundresses? No-one would recognise you.. .”

21:45:31: KK Victoria blinks. “Disguise?” He asks, raising an eyebrow. “Why.”

21:45:35: Sicpuess eventually decides on two SIG P226, holsters them, and stands aside.

21:46:13: Kestrel sees people diving for cover, and accidentally squeezes the trigger on the tiny little gun. There goes the door, there go the hinges, and there goes her hearing for at least several seconds.

21:46:35: Uncle Bernard tries to weigh it up, “Um, you'll get in trouble otherwise.”

21:46:44: Spandex leans on her tommygun and is oblivious to the barrels waving about. “We have costumes downstairs.” She buckles on her bandolier, sees KK has more things than her, and tucks a stapler in it.

21:47:45: Uncle Bernard slows down a bit, “Hang on, is someone going to go and have a chat with Whispy? Get him to go down to the bank to draw out all those lovely sponds?”

21:48:01: Jon Bishop dives to the side. “Holy fuck!”

21:48:32: Uncle Bernard looks at Dexy's stapler with some jealousy, he looks in his pockets and brings out a magnifying glass and a bus ticket. And a thermos flask.

21:48:56: Sicpuess has her gloves strapped to her back, too. This is more than enough. She waits silently. 21:50:41: Spandex frowns at Kia and tip-ends an ashtray full of paperclips into her bandolier.

21:51:32: Kestrel groans quietly, slowly getting to her feet again, and glancing between the gun and the gaping hole in the wall where the door used to be. She turns pale, and quickly quickly hides the 'cricket'.

21:53:38: SinkOrSwim leaves the 'stuff' race to Kia, Eureka! and, erm.. . KK.

21:53:55: Jon Bishop holds up a dart. “Okay! Kes, you have an important place. You can be trusted, the rest of us can't.”

21:54:06: Kestrel shakes herself a little, tries to look innocent, and glances over to Bernard. “If you tell me roughly what to say, I'm willing to volunteer for that.”

21:54:39: Uncle Bernard looks at everyone, “Well, it can't be me, he knows me. It's got to be someone he trusts? Or.. . We could forge a message from the council.”

21:55:00: Kestrel furrows her brow slightly at Bishop's words. “What do you want me to do?”

21:55:11: Spandex slides her wooden ball out of another pocket and raises her brows at Kia, “hmm?” Can't touch this.

21:56:21: Uncle Bernard nods, “Tell him that there's a message for him from Mrs Hollins, that she wants him to engage OPERATION SMASHGERM. Tell him that seems an odd word.”

21:56:42: Sicpuess leans agains the wall, crosses her arms, and puts on sunglasses. And she's whistling. 21:58:26: Jon Bishop begins brushing dirt off of himself. No one would suspect him to be clean.

21:59:08: Kestrel nods, committing those words to memory. “Yup, I can do that, I think.”

21:59:57: KK Victoria is idly jingling the bullet belts hanging from the M80 wrapped about his shoulders. 22:02:10: Uncle Bernard exhales, “Heck, I'm feeling really giddy.”

22:03:42: Uncle Bernard wonders if everyone will follow down to the Wings, for a costume change.

22:03:56: Sicpuess is going to wait on the Sofa! Out she is.

22:03:59: Jon Bishop takes his weapons, heading to the wings. “Let's get disguised well, while she does that.”

22:05:11: KK Victoria lumbers on after Sicpuess. There isn't a bear suit big enough for Kai, he is sure of it.

22:05:41: Spandex figures out how to work the leather shoulder strap for her gun, and runs after the others.

22:06:59: Kestrel watches everyone leave, and throws a brief glance to the pocket holding her new weapon. Then she sighs, puts on a cheery smile, and heads out.

22:07:38: SinkOrSwim folds away his claws, with difficulty, and wanders out.

22:33:56: calliaphone wakes, more-or-less covered in melted jaffa-cake. where the fuck is everyone? she gets up and stumbles out, as confused as ever before.

The Trick

The Bingo Hall : Administration and Clan Exchequer

[04/25 05:08pm] <GERM> Noisy Cricketer Kestrel knocks politely on the door to this room.

[04/25 05:12pm] Rookie Whisplaw snaps from his desk. “Yes?! Come in. What do you want?”

[04/25 05:13pm] <GERM> Noisy Cricketer Kestrel counts the seconds carefully, then eventually peeks her head in through the door.”I'm sorry for bothering you, sir. Are you busy, or could I have your attention for a moment?”

[04/25 05:14pm] <GERM> Noisy Cricketer Kestrel puts on her apologetic-and-innocent face, and steps in properly. “I have a message, sir. From- from the mayor,” she improvises wildly.

[04/25 05:15pm] Rookie Whisplaw looks at her, his face softening as she mentions his beloved. Then it hardens again, immediately.”Yes? And it is?“

[04/25 05:17pm] <GERM> Noisy Cricketer Kestrel keeps her eyes on the carpet, to make it easier to lie. “She-she wants the Administration Officer of GERM, for a little talk in the bank.”

[04/25 05:20pm] Rookie Whisplaw sniffs the air, eying Kestrel suspiciously. It doesn't smell like she's lying. “Hmph. You may go.”

[04/25 05:21pm] <GERM> Noisy Cricketer Kestrel gives a short bow, then quickly retreats from the room.

[04/25 05:23pm] Rookie Whisplaw thinks. His beloved, calling him to the Bank? A secret liaison? Or are these pesky GERMs up to something.. .

[04/25 05:25pm] Rookie Whisplaw sniffs again, a sharp, pointed tongue flicks out and tastes the air. They're not clever enough to lie to him. She must be beckoning.. . His picks up his hat, umbrella and briefcase, and leaves.

The Bingo Hall : Offices & Lounge


[04/25 05:27pm] Rookie Whisplaw stalks through the room, hissing at nearby rookies. He has places to be.. .

The Bingo Hall : Main Hall and Reception Desk



[04/25 05:05pm] <DICE> Miss Trabant Sicpuess takes a seat on the Sofa, suit hiding all the weapons. Just looks like another of the posh lawyers visiting GERM on a daily basis.

[04/25 05:29pm] Rookie Whisplaw slimes his way to the desk. Lilith regards him with a distinct lack of enthusiasm. “I am going out Miss Lilith. I shall be some time.” His heart skips a beat at how that time may be spent.. .

[04/25 05:29pm] Rookie Whisplaw slopes out of the halls.

The Disguises

22:05:59: Mr Kia Pride Bernard bursts in for a first dibs on costumes!

22:06:28: Daewoo Rexton Bishop makes his way in, finding some makeup and cosmetics. He powders every visible part of his skin, to hide his usual grime and dirt.

22:09:13: Mr Kia Pride Bernard gives himself lipstick and blue eyeshadow both of which are really making his big moustache stand out.

22:12:41: Daewoo Rexton Bishop favors a large, white powdered wig. Along with a suit.

22:13:12: Mr Kia Pride Bernard thinks to himself, “Well, if anyone recognises me dressed like this, I'll be amazed.”

22:13:53: Eureka! Spandex is sliding costumes along the rail and looking for the perfect thing.

22:14:43: Mr Kia Pride Bernard tries to prompt Dexy to put on a pair of dungarees and an Osh Kosh hoody. She'll look like someone out of Prisoner Cell block H!”

22:16:06: Daewoo Rexton Bishop pulls a ski mask over his head, and sports a pair of reading glasses, too.

22:16:31: Eureka! Spandex is holding up a black catsuit with a yellow Exclamation mark on the front. “Hrmm?”

22:16:59: The Wildcat - SinkOrSwim picks out a leather bodysuit with a big W on the front. It seems made for him. And the eye-mask to go with it.

22:18:13: Eureka! Spandex also finds some fake boobs, black thigh boots and one of those boingy headband thingies: one boingy with a question mark, the other with a rocket. Full comic heroine cliche!

22:19:38: Eureka! Spandex hands Sink the fake boobs.

22:19:38: The Wildcat - SinkOrSwim wanders out of the room, having seen Dex's outfit and experienced some momentary discomfort in the groinal area. He wanders to a changing room to don the leather suit and ease the suffering.

22:20:32: Eureka! Spandex actually throws them at the back of his head.

22:22:20: The Wildcat - SinkOrSwim is assaulted with a pair of boobs! The pressure is just too much.. . 22:22:28: Mr Kia Pride Bernard is popping on some lederhosen and a nice white blouse.

22:23:40: The Noisy Cricket - Kestrel peeks in quickly, eves averted from the various people changing. “Message delivered. I think he believed me, but I can't be completely sure.”

22:24:47: Mr Kia Pride Bernard gives everyone thumbs up! “Do we want to get to IC now or should we wait and follow Whispy?”

22:24:49: Eureka! Spandex gets herself into the catsuit and boots, and then the dungarees, hoodie and boingie headthing on top.

22:25:25: Daewoo Rexton Bishop is now sporting a purple suit, a white wig, a ski mask, and reading glasses. “Brilliant! It's shaping up. How much time do we have, you all think?”

22:25:58: Eureka! Spandex wears the dungarees low and undone in front, diggin' the mall-rat vibe. She throws a sign at B.

22:26:13: Mr Kia Pride Bernard shrugs, “Eight minutes?”

22:28:46: Eureka! Spandex shakes her head causing her rocket boingy to crash into the Question Mark, and throws another.

22:29:19: Daewoo Rexton Bishop springs upward, stepping towards the door. “Not much time!”

22:30:55: The Wildcat - SinkOrSwim pops out of the changing room, flushed and be-leathered, but ready to rock and roll.. .

22:31:55: The Noisy Cricket - Kestrel glances around herself, plucks a fake moustache from a nearby box, then carefully puts that in place on her face. There - fully disguised.

22:33:39: The Wildcat - SinkOrSwim adds a fake moustache for good measure

22:33:43: Eureka! Spandex reaches out and squirch-squlch's Sink's boobs. So fake. She presses on her Arbuthnot 'stache, weapons up, and is good to go.

22:34:40: Daewoo Rexton Bishop swipes a mustache as well. May as well be as covered as possible. “Let's move!”

22:35:44: The Noisy Cricket - Kestrel swaps her tophat for a ponytail, and her smile for a disapproving frown. There. Now, not even her mother could recognise her. “Let's move, then.”

The Heist

Improbable Central

22:29:28 Mayor Mrs Hollins is looking at you people and wondering what you are doing slandering about in her Town Square.

22:29:59: Rookie Evan OConnell: frowns. “der now, Angel..I didn' mean to make ya blue.. .” He sighs, yep, he needed to get a handle on that shutting up thing.

22:30:23: Absolutely Alyss spots Sneaky in the stocks and, out of pity for the poor Rookie, lets him out, only to stumble and get herself caught in them. She curses quietly.

22:30:23 Mayor Mrs Hollins calms herself down, and enters the Bank. Odd place for a tete-a-tete, but if it must be.. .

22:31:46: Contestant Sneaky: waves to Mrs. Hollins, but is still invisible. He turns visible again, but it's too late; she entered the bank. “My manners, they need work.”

22:33:55: Rookie Evan OConnell: looks on as the girl gets her self stuck, trying his damndest not to smile. He hops up and walks over to her

22:34:20: General Alex MacMillan lets Alyss out of the stocks and settles in, admiring his statue for a moment.

22:34:31 Mayor Mrs Hollins is getting caught in a bit of a staring contest with Elessa, drumming feisty fingers on the coffee table she ordered. Where is that filth.. . ah, what a maaan.

22:35:00: Whisplaw slimes in from the Northern gates, en-route to a liaison dangereuse

22:35:22: Mr Kia Pride Bernard CASUALLY stays on the periphery of the town, just generally saunterin'

22:35:47: Contestant Sneaky: scratches his head.

22:35:58: Rookie Evan OConnell: grins at MacMillan “Right, ya beat me to it. Was jus' abou' ta do dat.”

22:36:10: Absolutely Alyss flushes as she is released from the stocks. “Thank goodness you're a proper gent,” she says, not entirely convinced.

22:36:19: Miss Trabant Sicpuess is right behind Kia, accompanying him on a nice walk through the park of the asylum.

22:36:29: KK Victoria casually loads up a tear gas grenade into a grenade launcher while casually in a formation with Bernard.

22:37:00: Noisy Cricket Kestrel strides in, in disguise, behind Kia and Sic. Nonchalent strolling, this.

22:37:15: Daewoo Rexton Bishop follows a short distance behind Sicpuess, humming about nonchalantly. While casually sporting a shotgun.

22:37:35: General Alex MacMillan raises an eyebrow at Evan. “Oh yes, I could tell. Wasn't going to take advantage of a lovely young lady in the stocks, were you?”

22:38:44: Whisplaw worms his way through the crowd, into the Bank. He slimes his way up to Mrs Hollins, his lank, oily hair positively gleaming. “My, Mrs Hollins, how positively delightful to see you.”

22:38:48: Rookie Evan OConnell: puffs a kiss off his fingers toward Alyss. “I'll all bark, luv.” He glances up and then towards the gate “Bes' ge' on wit it den, twas a real pleasure to meet ya Alyss.”

22:38:52: Mr Kia Pride Bernard is carrying a heavy briefcase, busticket and thermos flask.

22:38:55: General Alex MacMillan thinks there is absolutely nothing suspicious about the overly casual arrivals to the town.

22:39:12: Rookie Evan OConnell: makes that and I'm all bark.

22:39:34: The Wildcat - SinkOrSwim sneaks in to the square, with all the agility of a werewolf in a leather suit pretending to be a cat.

22:39:55: Eureka! Spandex is casually acting completely natural, like she takes a tommygun out for a walk everyday.

22:40:09: Rookie Evan OConnell: winks at Alex on his way out of town, yep. A perfect gent.

22:40:14: Absolutely Alyss waves to Evan, glad that he was going - he made her feel distinctly strange.

22:40:25: Noisy Cricket Kestrel is casually stroking the tiny metal gun in her pocket. She pauses to hastily rearrange her moustache.

22:40:43 Mayor Mrs Hollins jolts upright. “My, my, dahlin', yu's outdon' yu'self tuday. Yu's look.. . it is delightful, yes. C'mere!”

22:40:49: Mr Kia Pride Bernard practices throwing his briefcase to the floor and pulling out the MAC10 contained within't.

22:41:01: KK Victoria is casually armed to the teeth, carrying an M80 SAW, crossbow, a slew of revolvers, a Claymore, and a grenade launcher. It's all casual.

22:41:14: Mr Kia Pride Bernard only practices mind you.. .

22:41:46: Miss Trabant Sicpuess , one could observe, is wearing a mess of blades on her back and is sporting two pistols. She is not casual, she looks Stern.

22:42:02: Absolutely Alyss feels overloaded by all the casual-ness and retreats to a corner to draw in peace.

22:42:26: Contestant Sneaky: Anyone got any good words to say about the mercenaries here? I was thinking of hiring one. I'm headed to 404, going factory-hunting.

22:42:44: Mr Kia Pride Bernard casually observes the tit arse tit that's going on outside the bank.

22:43:05: Whisplaw blushes and oils his way forward. “I must say, Mrs Hollins, how wonderful you're looking yourself, and how.. . ” His tongue flicks out, tasting the air “ .. .fragrant. ”

22:43:14: Daewoo Rexton Bishop is casually dressed in a purple suit, a ski mask, a fake mustache, and a white powdered wig.

22:44:59: The Wildcat - SinkOrSwim snarls, holding up a hand and flicking out a single Adamandtheantsium claw. It waggles loosely, and bends. “Smeg!”

22:45:05: KK Victoria is near the threshold of the bank. He raises the grenade launcher to his shoulder and casually pumps a tear gas grenade through the window.

22:45:06 Mayor Mrs Hollins spreads her arms - those joints need a good oiling and kneading anyways, says Paprika, and oooh how he said that.. . “Aaawh, ho' good yu' came, 'lessa's looking funny”

22:45:24: Contestant Sneaky: begins playing with the buttons on his wristwatch.

22:45:27: Mr Kia Pride Bernard casually picks at his finger nails with an enormous fucking bastard sword.

22:45:47: General Alex MacMillan stretches as he's let out of the stock. He pads over to Alyss and gives her a soft smile. “Try not to get yourself stuck in the stocks when in the company of unscrupulous gents, eh?” he says.

22:45:59: Eureka! Spandex has a wooden ball in her left hand, and the machine gun in her right. She blows a large pink gum-bubble and cracks her neck. POP! crrrkkkll

22:46:21: Contestant Sneaky: makes an effigy of Mrs. Hollins appear.

22:46:24 Mayor Mrs Hollins continues, “already, an' yu' 'no 'bout that bi~” She is cut short by the display of a grenade landing on the table beside her. .. . “AIIIIEEE DAHL', SAV'MEE!”

22:46:27: Whisplaw is in the process of sliming up to her when a fizzing canister erupts through the pane. “Oh, I say! A new treat Mrs Hollins?”

22:46:38: Mr Kia Pride Bernard grabs his MAC10 and causally screams, “ANY OF YOU EXECUTES MOVE AND I'LL MOTHER EVERY LAST FRICKING ONE OF YOU.”

22:47:16: Mr Kia Pride Bernard bursts through the door of the bank, only to have to come out again ,coughing.

22:49:15: Whisplaw grabs blindly as the room fills with foul smelling smoke. He grabs something large, and soft, which grabs back. “Ooh, Mrs Hollins. The things you do for me!”

22:50:32 Mayor Mrs Hollins has stopped screaming. In fact, she's stopped doing anything much but suffocating Whisp under the double-chin and between her royal twins.. . Wide-eyed and teared up.

22:50:37: KK Victoria drops the launcher to the ground and throws himself through the window after the canister as the teargas disperses. He lands inside the bank with a clatter and a primed fuck-off machine gun.

22:50:46: The Wildcat - SinkOrSwim pulls out his two knives, cutting two circles out of his leather suit, exposing his nipples. “WARDROBE MALFUNCTION!! SMEG!!”

22:51:28: Miss Trabant Sicpuess sternly, and not too quietly, tromps next to the entrance, waiting for the rest of the troop to rally this fort.

22:51:38: Whisplaw is embraced enthusiastically to her bosoms. He nesteles his head between them and makes like a fox in achicken coop.

22:51:44: Contestant Sneaky: walks in the doorway of the bank, but doesn't walk too far in. The smoke deters him. “What the.. .”

22:52:37: Daewoo Rexton Bishop holds his darts in one hand, aiming in one hand, and weakly aims a shotgun in the other. He looks to Sink. “Shit! MAN DOWN?! KEEP MOVING!” He charges to the front door.

22:53:14: Eureka! Spandex backs to one side of the bank door, against to the wall, craning her neck to see inside.

22:53:16: Miss Trabant Sicpuess stares at Sneaky, both hands at her holsters, then sloowly turns to the entrance.. . and jumps.

22:53:23: Mr Kia Pride Bernard is resplendent in his lederhosen and ladies blouse, he trots back in to the bank, there to add to the furious anger visited upon the whole establishment.

22:53:39: The Wildcat - SinkOrSwim hastily gaffer-tapes his nipples back on, and wonders when Bishop acquired a third hand?

22:53:45: Noisy Cricket Kestrel takes a tiny shiny metal gun from her pocket, has to bite back laughter at Sink's predicament, then charges after the others.

22:54:12: Daewoo Rexton Bishop pauses. Wait, why the hell is he going in before someone else? “EUREKA! You're up!”

22:54:59: KK Victoria is already inside, aiming about the machine gun. He remembers suddenly that he doesn't actually remember who the mastermind is supposed to be. He has never actually met him!

22:55:16: Contestant Sneaky: puts his hands up in reflex to try and stop the jumping Joker. “Hey!”

22:55:19 Mayor Mrs Hollinsscrambles away against the counter, wiping up shards of glass, droplets of oil and a couple dead flies with her magnificient behind. “Daaaahl'!.. Wha's, whas happenin!”

22:55:35: Whisplaw un-smothers himself and breathes the air. “Oh, Mrs Hollins! Did you bring poppers?! Naughty.. .” `*His oily enthusiasm is palpable. and faintly disturbing.

22:56:28: Mr Kia Pride Bernard starts firing indiscriminately at the security bods coming rushing, obviously, being such a poor shot all round, it's merely an exercise in making noise.

22:56:34: Miss Trabant Sicpuess points guns roughly where Elessa was when she last saw her. “Wha'now, boss, countergirl's scrambled.”

22:57:00: Eureka! Spandex turns on her toe, shoulderchecking Sneaky and storming inside, in place behind Whipslaw,. “ALRIGHT EVERYONE STAY CALM! got you covered, boss.”

22:57:47: The Wildcat - SinkOrSwim charges, realising when he takes this gaffer tape off, it's gonna sting. He makes to roar as he charges, but it only come out as a “Mew.. .?”

22:57:59: Eureka! Spandex hip-shoves Whipslaw closer to the tellers.

22:58:08: Miss Trabant Sicpuess headtilts slowly, keeps one pistol pointed there, and ever-so-casually turns the other at Mrs Hollins.

22:58:38: KK Victoria backs up to the apparent bossman, still holding his machine gun. “Yeh, boss.” He grunts, firing a couple of .50 caliber rounds into the ceiling, “GET ON FLOOR!” He roars at the patrons.

22:59:09: Noisy Cricket Kestrel steps in after the others, finger far away from the trigger of her gun, and gives a respectful nod to Whisplaw. “We've brought backup,” she says hoarsely.

22:59:24: Contestant Sneaky: slams to the floor. “Rude.” He picks himself up, procures a blackjack, then follows Eureka! Spandex as quietly as possible.

22:59:34: General Alex MacMillan takes a seat next to Alyss and watches the goings on at the bank from a safe distance after giving up on a response from her.

23:00:03: Mr Kia Pride Bernard takes up Eureka! Spandex's baton, “That's right Boss-man. We're going to go an rob all the money from the vault, like what you told us, Mr Whipslaw.”

23:00:36: Whisplaw rounds on the seeming vigilante circus entering the building. He hisses as his beloved is threatened. He stares at the big man in front of him “YOU? Wha..?”

23:01:31: Daewoo Rexton Bishop rushes in, shotgun ready. “DON'T.. .UH, FUCK WITH US!” He fires at a wall, and the kickback from the gun launches him backwards.

23:01:39: The Wildcat - SinkOrSwim walks up behind Sneaky, quiet as a mouse. “I'd drop that if I were you, sunbeam”

23:01:51: KK Victoria nods, “Ja.” He grunts, turning back to the new hostages.

23:02:12 Mayor Mrs Hollins dry-sobs suppressedly, eyes wandering from the gun to a smiling Whisplaw to KK.. . “s'.. . s'ths sum roleplay'n game yu'f set up ther.. issit?”

23:02:15: Mr Kia Pride Bernard rummages in his lederhosen pockets, and throws a couple of 1980's HEAD bags onto the counter, “Fill em up please Miss.” he directs to Elessa

23:02:44: KK Victoria looks about, “Where safe?” He asks, scanning the bank.

23:03:10: Eureka! Spandex keeps pushing Whip forward, until they're at the glass window. She steps around him, gun pointed at the teller's face. “Well. well. We'd like to make a small withdrawal, please.”

23:03:15: Whisplaw rounds on his beloved, “What? NO! This is not some stupid flight of fancy, woman! This is REAL!”

23:04:02: Daewoo Rexton Bishop agrees with KK. “Boss says we need it all. Check the back.”

23:04:08: Contestant Sneaky: turns around, hurling his blackjack at Wildcat's face in the same motion. He procures a crossbow and aims it. “Whatever you say.”

23:04:53: Mr Kia Pride Bernard trips Sneaky up, and removes the crossbow in one fluid movement. “Tsk, behave, mister.”

23:05:08 Mayor Mrs Hollins is fleeing into fantasy! Now not that she had much. It's more like a pin-point, really, but it's a very sharp one. “Resc'in me, eh? Eh? Heelp! Fire! Help! Whisp!”

23:05:35: Noisy Cricket Kestrel says sharply to Whisplaw, “Boss. You can't just stand around now. We need to follow the plan you set, right?” She keeps the cricket trained on an unfortunate villager nearby.

23:06:00: The Wildcat - SinkOrSwim giggles as a blackjack bounces off his mask.

23:06:18: Miss Trabant Sicpuess casually leans against the counter (gloves wriggling menancingly in the direction of the tellers) and now aims her pistols at Hollins and Sneaky. Elessa's under control.

23:07:08: Contestant Sneaky: kicks his feet, trying to drag Bernard down with him.

23:07:35: Mr Kia Pride Bernard smiles sweetly, bright red lips showing under bristly black tashe - right at Sneaky, “Now, you don't want to get too involved here, not in upsetting the 'job', okay?”

23:07:41: Eureka! Spandex lifts her gun and leans forward, “All the cash on-hand, no marked bills, and please have one of your kind staff show my colleagues to the safe,” she says politely.

23:08:12: Whisplaw blusters and bollocks and.. . “LOOK! I'm an ADMINISTRATOR! You should all be listening to me.. .”

23:08:18: Miss Trabant Sicpuess seemingly grow bored, and (since the securities are all off already.. .) fires a round just over the Mayor's head. It ricochets off and vanishes through a window. “Keep'er, shoo'er or nail'er, Boss?

23:08:31: Mr Kia Pride Bernard won't be upset by a young whippersnapper, he pulls off Sneaky's shoes and tickles his feet with his bristly tashe.

23:08:42: Civilian bratbastard unknowing of thr robbery in progresss walks in on the robbery in progress. pistols point at his head.

23:09:25: Miss Trabant Sicpuess keeps aiming. “We are, boss, we are. As planned. Do we take 'er with us or leave 'er? Din' say that earlier.”

23:09:36: KK Victoria wants approaches behind Eureka! Spandex. “Where safe?” He asks again.

23:10:36: Contestant Sneaky: uncharacteristically laughs with a “stoppit!”, then lashes at Bernard's face with his foot.

23:10:37: Eureka! Spandex reaches down and around, and grabs Whip in the groin, “Yes. Admin. And we're listening.” She throws an empty baseball equipment bag onto the counter.

23:10:46: Mr Kia Pride Bernard blows Sneaky some really lascivious kisses, this is called crowd control, and Mr Kia Pride is an expert. That's why he was selected for this BLAHHG!

23:10:52 Mayor Mrs Hollins' fantasy was a very fragile one.. . “Yu.. yu.. . DID SET TH'S UP bu' yu'sgonna.. . 'sploit ME an'.. . ” She blanks.. . oooh, look, something's broken there.

23:11:24: Mr Kia Pride Bernard cuddles Sneaky, really getting in close with his bristles and over-done make-up, “Come on boy, come for a ride in my truck!”

23:11:28: Absolutely Alyss looks up from her drawing, which had distracted her, and spots Alex sitting beside her. “Oh! Hello, sorry, I easily get drawn in and I lose track of everything.”

23:11:28: Miss Trabant Sicpuess blows another round to take some hair off Sneaky. Watch it.

23:11:47: Whisplaw 's beady little eyes threaten to pop out of his head as the shot rings out. He is thoroughly confused, but people seem to acknowledge that HE is in CHARGE. “WHAT?!! Keep her you FOOL. ”

23:12:52: Noisy Cricket Kestrel snaps the gun around to face the recently entered midget. “Oy. On the floor, now. You needn't get hurt if you obey us, 'kay?”

23:13:13: Eureka! Spandex releases Whipslaw from her polite grasp and gestures left and back, “Safe.”

23:13:54: General Alex MacMillan smiles. “No worries. Just keep yourself out of the stocks when lads who might take advantage are about, eh? Unless you want to be taken advantage of, that is” he adds with a wink

23:13:59: Civilian bratbastard gets down onto the floor, though he's already closer to it than any other in the bank

23:14:22: KK Victoria nods, then hustles off to the left and back, letting his machine gun dangle at his side by the strap.

23:14:34: Contestant Sneaky: sneers. “You court everyone like that, I bet!”

23:14:58: Miss Trabant Sicpuess nods, and holsters the pistols to produce quite, quite a lot of zip ties of all sizes. Yes, even Jamaican-sized. She is going to make the first rolled roast of her life.

23:15:01: Daewoo Rexton Bishop follows behind KK. “We need a key. A combination. Something.”

23:15:23: Absolutely Alyss blushes. “Oh, oh dear. Oh. No.”

23:15:25: Noisy Cricket Kestrel keeps the cricket trained on bratbastard as she looks up quickly, checking that everything's going according to Whisplaw's plan.

23:15:40: KK Victoria stops at the safe a moment. He grunts. “Is lock.” He states to Bishop. Damn.

23:17:08 Mayor Mrs Hollins, oddly enough, stays absolutely quiet and obedient.. . .. . ooh, she practiced, practiced a lot from the looks. No wonder the Bordello has full all the sodden time.

23:17:16: Mr Kia Pride Bernard winks, “Nah, I normally take people out for dinner. But you're interfering.” 23:17:50: General Alex MacMillan grins to her, chuckling. He holds out a paw.”I'm Alex.“

23:18:01: Eureka! Spandex smiles courteously as the sports bag is filled with bills. “Can you zip that up for me please, it would be most helpful.”

23:18:36: Whisplaw rounds on the catsuited woman who was threatening to interfere with his dream date. “YOU! You very nearly SCREWED IT UP for us! I'll.. . I'lll.. . You'lll.. . ARGH!”

23:19:19: Absolutely Alyss takes the paw nervously, giving it a shake. “Alyss,” she replies.

23:19:33: Daewoo Rexton Bishop frowns, stepping back. “Shit, I'll get someone with a combination.”

23:20:21: Eureka! Spandex jams her arms back quickly, delivering a sharp THACK to Whip's jaw with the end of her gun. “Oooops!” She tsks and says to the teller, “There goes my chance for promotion. Dear me.”

23:20:41: Contestant Sneaky: nods. “Here's an appetizer.” He pulls out a BA-wait, no. He pulls out a slab of Tasty Meat. ”.. .uhh.. . here!“ He slaps it onto Bernard's face, trying to blind him.

23:20:52: KK Victoria grunts and sniffs, cracking his knuckles. He takes a few steps back from the vault, readying his dominant hand in a fist.

23:21:20: The Wildcat - SinkOrSwim runs forward, trying to help the cashier hurry-it-the-hell-up. He headbutts a longbow-proof perspex window, and then swipes wildly with his blades at the little birdies cirlcing his bonce

23:22:04: Miss Trabant Sicpuess looks from Hollins to Whisp, both silent now. .. . She is about to make the second rolled roast of her life!

23:22:13: Noisy Cricket Kestrel calls out to Dex, “Careful. Y'know what e's like to traitors. We get this over quickly, y'never know. He may forgive you.”

23:22:17: Mr Kia Pride Bernard whispers to Sneaky “Whisper, whisper, whisper, whisper.. .”

23:22:34: General Alex MacMillan grins to her. “Korrin's told me a bit about you. The artist, yeah? And trust me, I do not fall in the category of lads who might take advantage,” he adds with a chuckle.

23:22:41: KK Victoria charges the safe, smashing his fist into the dead center of it. The metal crumples and screeches in protest, collapsing in on itself and clattering to the Vault floor on the other side.

23:23:11: The Ever Squirrely Ratatoskr: heads into the bank with the sack of req from his quest and glances around. “Is.. .is this a bad time?”

23:23:28: KK Victoria sniffs, cracking his knuckles again. “Rexton!” He shouts, “Open!”

23:23:50: Daewoo Rexton Bishop blanks, jaw dropping. “Damn.” A pause. “That's a good combination.”

23:24:12: Miss Trabant Sicpuess , finished, and sidles up to the species colleague. “Nope. We's them new tellers. Please be so kins.” Ratatoskr's sack of req? No. She just sees her own in her hand.

23:24:43: KK Victoria nods. “Am expert safecracking.”

23:25:18: Absolutely Alyss relaxes at his words. “Oh, thank goodness. I never can tell who is like that and who isn't. Yes, I'm.. .well, I don't think I'm really an artist.. .but I draw.”

23:25:25: General Alex MacMillan waves to Ratty. “You might wanna make your deposit in a different branch, this one's currently being robbed.”

23:25:29: Whisplaw screams, both as he is assaulted and as the Safe crumples. “You FOOL!! ”

23:26:21: Daewoo Rexton Bishop runs into the vault. “Perfect!” He searches his body. He takes out a gym bag, starting to load if full of requisition. “This might not hold it all.. .”

23:26:32: The Ever Squirrely Ratatoskr: aaahs slowly. “Well. In that case.”

23:27:00: Miss Trabant Sicpuess turns and walks the sack to the other money, to the safe. Looks perfectly legit and serious.

23:27:49: The Ever Squirrely Ratatoskr: sighs and looks over at his clannie. “I'll never see that req again, will I Alex?”

23:28:17: Eureka! Spandex says, “Yes. Fool, sorry boss. Shall we go?” She smiles toothily at the teller, “You've been most helpful. We'll definitely be writing a Letter to your manager. Fine Customer Service here.”

23:28:49: Daewoo Rexton Bishop stretches out his suit pants, beginning to cram some money in there, too.

23:29:07: The Wildcat - SinkOrSwim wobbles forward towards Bishop, shaking his head to clear the last of the savaged and very much plucked birdies. He sits heavily on the floor, and throws his pack towards Bish

23:29:17: General Alex MacMillan chuckles and grins. “You just haven't known me long enough, it's rather obvious. Especially when I get to talking about my boyfriend,” he says with a laugh.

23:29:52: Miss Trabant Sicpuess helps shovel shinies into freshly-conjured sacks - there's enough firepower in the telling room right now. Once security reinforcements come though.. .

23:30:13: Daewoo Rexton Bishop gleefully begins filling the newly aquired bag, too.

23:30:17: General Alex MacMillan says “You draw very well. You're an artist,” he tells her. He looks back to Ratty. “I doubt it, can always loan you some if you need though.”

23:31:01: Eureka! Spandex loops two fingers into Whip's back suitpant beltloop and yards on him, while backing out. “Shall we, Sir?”

23:31:20: The Wildcat - SinkOrSwim scoops shiny things into a pile in front of him. Anyone would think that that crack on the head was making him think like a Kittymorph.. .

23:31:31: The Ever Squirrely Ratatoskr: shrugs at Alex and laughs. “It's only req, I'll just make more.” 23:31:46: Noisy Cricket Kestrel settles for merely smiling cheerily to anyone who looks as though they may complain, pointing the gun in their direction. “No, down to the floor, my good sir.”

23:33:08: KK Victoria begins heading back to the telling room, hefting his heavy machine gun once more

23:33:10: Whisplaw is dragged away, clawing forward, trying to reach his beloved. “Noo! Wait! I have unfinished business here!”

23:33:23: Absolutely Alyss collapses back against the wall she was sitting against at Alex's words. “Oh, thank goodness,” she repeats. “Now I trust you completely.” She looks utterly relieved.

23:33:37: Contestant Sneaky: pauses struggling for a brief moment and stares at the Kittymorph. “This is funny to you?!?”

23:34:33: Mr Kia Pride Bernard tucks his MAC10 in his trousers. Luckily, it's not loaded.

23:34:34: Daewoo Rexton Bishop struggles as he drags two completely full bags, heading into the telling room. “Got as much as I can here.. .whew.. .”

23:34:56: KK Victoria looks about, “Moving?”

23:35:06: calliaphone is having a nice drive in her cart, apparently asleep at the controls, whistling softly The Bank Robber's Waltz. She looks like she's recently lost a fight with a packet of jaffa cakes.

23:35:19: calliaphone is startled into waking as her cart bumps over a kerb. She stares wildly around, from behind a rather impressive chocolate moustache, and tries to work out where the hell she is.

23:35:25: Miss Trabant Sicpuess perks up. .. . “Quick, all. Reinforcements coming.” Shoveling speed quadrupled!

23:36:21: KK Victoria stands near the window, looking out with his gun ready. He remembers the Alamo. “Car!” He shouts, pointing at Calliaphone's cart.

23:36:35: Mr Kia Pride Bernard leaps onto the cart, he's all ENERGETIC in his lederhosen and blouse.

Obviously Callia can have NO IDEA who he is in his tashe, makeup and new costume.

23:36:38: Eureka! Spandex grimaces, acts like she's reshouldering her tommygun and spins 'round, hitting Whip in the back of her head with it. “Oh HELL! I'm- God. I'm so fired.” She drags him out the bank.

23:36:51: Miss Trabant Sicpuess flings sacks into the telling room, hefts one herself, then cautiously peeks out the windows. “Midgets! Coupla' minutes still!”

23:37:22: calliaphone is patting herself down for a cigarette, when a lederhose-wearing gun-toting lunatic leaps into her cart.

23:37:39: The Ever Squirrely Ratatoskr: looks at Sneaky. “Me? Yes, I kind of do.” He leans against one wall and casts friendly insults to the bank robbers.

23:38:07: Whisplaw slumps, his pointed tongue lolling out of his mouth, his part in tonight's proceedings played to the hilt.

23:38:12: calliaphone says, “whuhhh?” and boggles at the rest of the crowd emerging from the bank. “huhhhh? DONSHOOTME!”

23:38:53 Mayor Mrs Hollinshas settled with being watchful. She is SO going to burn that little.. . handsome.. .

23:39:27: Noisy Cricket Kestrel carefully backs out of the building, then spins around to train her gun on the the others outside.

23:39:49: Mr Kia Pride Bernard tries to shush Callia by lifting one of the sides of his tashe, “It's me, Bernard.”

23:40:07: General Alex MacMillan chuckles at Alyss. “First time I've earned someone's trust that way, but I appreciate it nonetheless.” He smiles to her. “I look forward to seeing the one of Korrin when it's finished.”

23:40:14: Miss Trabant Sicpuess deftly passes by rolled roast #1. ”'fraid we've got to leave you to the Midget Security here.. . have a good time 'splaining, boss won't like it but we don't have the time to get you.. .“

23:40:24: General Alex MacMillan says “I know he is excited about it, too.”

23:40:28: calliaphone blinks. “Uncle B? OHMIGOD! Have they taken you HOSTAGE!”

23:40:40: Absolutely Alyss grins, putting a final touch on the picture. “I just finished the nks! Would you like to see?”

23:40:48: Miss Trabant Sicpuess sprints out with her sack, and adds herself (nothing) plus sack (ooh, nice and heavy) to the payload.

23:41:13: KK Victoria walks over to Eureka! Spandex picking up Whip by the collar and slinging him over his shoulder. “Got boss.” He reports.

23:41:19: The Wildcat - SinkOrSwim hears music, and is distracted from the shiny things! He stands, picks up a couple of bags of them to play with later, and skips outside to see where it's coming from.

23:41:37: Daewoo Rexton Bishop pants, dragging the bags out of the bank. “Heavy shit..” He is nearby the cart. Callia is not in a costume, how will this work? He aims the shotgun at her. “You! Ah.. .get us out or we'll.. .”

23:41:58: Daewoo Rexton Bishop continues, “Uh.. .shoot you.”

23:42:08: KK Victoria promptly throws Whip into the cart like a sack of meat. He is a very good employee.

23:42:16: Mr Kia Pride Bernard shakes his head, hair flying all over, “I'm fine Callia! It's all okay, just PEDAL like you've never PEDALLED before!”

23:42:27: Absolutely Alyss aims a kick at the gremlin who stole her “i” out of the word “inks.”

23:42:48: KK Victoria waves over Sink, “WILDCAT!” He points to the cart. “CART!”

23:43:00: Noisy Cricket Kestrel quickly dashes over to help Bishop with the bags. “C'mon, they're not that heavy. We're nearly there, now.”

23:43:10 A swamp-encrusted ex-red fire-truck bursts out of the Jungle, toting blue lights and a siren and.. . a gatling atop, manned by two Midgets. Your friend and helper is here, fellow citizens!

23:43:17: Eureka! Spandex thumbsup at Kai, “They hit Boss hard, but I think he'll survive.” She jumps in the cart and yells, “PUNCH IT BABS!”

23:43:27: calliaphone 's eyes go wide as dinner plates. she gulps. closes her eyes tight, and puts the cart in gear. “ALRIGHT DONSHOOTME I'LL DO WHATEVER YOU SAY!”

23:43:58: calliaphone hits the pedals, and the cart spins its wheels for a moment, then shoots forwards.

23:43:58: The Wildcat - SinkOrSwim skips to the cart and POUNCES onto the back. His head connects with a bulkhead, and it's lights out.

23:44:18: Noisy Cricket Kestrel drags bags, Bishop and herself onto the cart, as quickly as she can.

23:44:33: Miss Trabant Sicpuess puts a couple of rounds over the bank entrance for good measure (and the BANGS. That too.)

23:44:43: General Alex MacMillan nods. “I would, very much.” He tosses a marshmallow to the gremlin bothering Alyss and watches it scamper off with the bribe.

23:44:48: Daewoo Rexton Bishop grumbles. “It's like 200 pounds!” Divide that by ten, maybe. “Thanks.. .” He is now in the cart.

23:44:58: calliaphone is slowed down by all the people jumping on at the last minute. she pedals faster!

23:45:30: KK Victoria grins at the resistance and opens fire with the .50 caliber machine gun at the firetruck.

23:45:32: Mr Kia Pride Bernard throws his briefcase at the firetruck, “Take that you pigs!” he follows this up with his magnifying glass!

23:45:56: calliaphone covers her head with her hands. her steering improves immeasurably at this point.

23:46:47: Mr Kia Pride Bernard entreats Dex to use her staple-gun, “Do it Eureka! Staple 'em!”

23:47:22: Daewoo Rexton Bishop throws darts at the truck. “Shit, shit! Kill it kill it kill it!”

23:47:35 The fire-truck takes a couple of rounds to the motor block - and given that Midgets are banned from licenses for a reason, the path quickly becomes erratic, and the gatling fire misses.

23:48:20: calliaphone 's cart executes an impressive slide round the fountain, sending out clouds of dust and burning rubber.

23:48:33: Noisy Cricket Kestrel glances between the truck and her gun, and promptly stashes the latter in her pocket. No way is she using that with people around who could get hurt.

23:48:39: calliaphone whimpers.

23:48:39: The Wildcat - SinkOrSwim comes round, shaking his head once more. He assesses the situation, like a good superhero should. Guns. Lots of guns. Hmmm.

23:49:00: KK Victoria keeps firing at the truck, following behind the cart. He won't climb inside, he's really quite heavy.

23:49:01: Mr Kia Pride Bernard stops setting fire to the Trojans he found in Whisplaw's bag, and takes to holding on tight for grim life.

23:49:08: Eureka! Spandex un-holsters her staplegun and presses off a few rounds PACHINNG PACHINNG PACHINNG. “DIE CORPORATE WHORES!” She yells after, fist in air.

23:49:29: Absolutely Alyss proudly turns her sketchbook around to show Alex. http://i42.tinypic.com/vh55ci.png

23:49:50: The Wildcat - SinkOrSwim reaches into his bandolier and pulls out his nicotine gum. 10 strips of it. He shoves them all into his mouth and chews for all he's worth

23:50:39: Miss Trabant Sicpuess aims long, and aims well. One of the back tires of the six-wheeler is already out for the matter.. . Caaareful.. . And four left. The truck narrowly misses the Curious Old Rock, a driving miracle.

23:50:51: calliaphone opens her eyes and looks round to see KK jogging along behind. “Cake-man? Chasing or Defending?” she gasps.

23:51:00: General Alex MacMillan looks over the drawing. “Very very nice!” he says with a smile. “That'll make Korr happy.”

23:51:44: The Wildcat - SinkOrSwim spits the gumball into his hand, hefts it, and lobs it towards the midget firetruck. It lands central on the windshield, SPLATTTING across the field of view

23:52:07: KK Victoria grunts, “Defending!” He shouts, picking up the pace a bit.

23:53:13: Noisy Cricket Kestrel is just lobbing stones in the vague direction of the truck. A few of them sing single, lone notes or scraps of music before smashing through the windows.

23:53:28: calliaphone nods. that was the answer she was hoping for. she puts her feet down, alternately-like, and tries to pick up the pace.

23:54:07: Miss Trabant Sicpuess grins eerily as the truck driver loses that last grip of control and steers sideways, past the Old Church into what possibly once was a cemetry. It stops, smoking. Some demotivated gatling fire.

23:54:15: Mr Kia Pride Bernard is rummaging in his pockets for any weapons he can use. Ideally they'd be ballistic, but he'd settle for mildly annoyed.

23:55:24 The one or other Midget weakly attempts to follow, but uselessly - the cart is already a bit out of their range. A shor conference, and then there is another robbery.. . in the PSK.

23:56:03: Eureka! Spandex grips her ball and kisses it. She thinks of fosknihk ehS. ti sessik dna. Then she throws. FWWWWPPPP. It spins into the firetruck window and knocks the gearshift into REVERSE.

23:57:32: The Wildcat - SinkOrSwim dives off the truck and RUNS!

23:58:43: calliaphone sees that the truck has given up the chase for now. and puts on a final burst of speed with her cart. it rockets forward, towards the gate.

23:58:55: KK Victoria starts off in the opposite direction of the cart, hustling back towards the Compound to let things die down a little.

23:59:48: calliaphone 's cart disappears out of the gate, sliding through with a scream of protesting tyres, and into the jungle beyond.

00:00:33: Absolutely Alyss grins. “Thank you! I hope so. Time to color.” She grabs her water colors and starts.

00:01:07: Miss Trabant Sicpuess vanishes off the cart once it is out of sight of the Wall guards.

00:03:40: Miss Trabant Sicpuess suspects that Dear Mrs Hollins will get interrogated to her liking, filled up, and interrogated again.. .

00:09:17: Contestant Sneaky stumbles out of the bank. “If I ever see that guy again, i'll be ready. Ohhh yes.” He dusts off his slab of meat, then puts it away.

the_heist.txt · Last modified: 2023/11/21 18:03 by 127.0.0.1

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