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20:54:35: Granpa Bernard stumps his not so merry way out of his rooms, he's got a leg and an arm in plaster, and a wire frame attaching said arm to his belt. He's even sporting a neck brace, and two black eyes.

20:57:35: The Stray - SinkOrSwim grins at the invalid geriatric as he emerges from the IC door. “So, Bernard. You need more red bull I think.”

21:02:57: Granpa Bernard 's chin is raised by the neck brace, and he's obviously finding it difficult to speak, “Red bull? What's that? Is this something you normally do at the full moon?”

21:06:20: Granpa Bernard propels himself forward, in hunt of some snap, like some Ray Harryhausen villain with the cement arm and leg of doom. “I need some tea.”

21:14:10: Earth Mage Paul Lo shuffles beside Bernard. “I agree, my good man.”

21:17:46: Earth Mage Paul Lo in his momentum, pokes softly the old bloke's shoulder.

21:26:13: Granpa Bernard falls, sideways.

21:27:30: Earth Mage Paul Lo marks Bernard's leg plaster with strange-looking spotted eyes of all sizes, giggling.

21:29:16: Earth Mage Paul Lo gently taps on each drawn eye, repeating, “Good morning!”

21:29:40: The Stray - SinkOrSwim pads through, with a marker pen in his teeth. He leaves a wonky “SiNK WuZ 'eRe” On Bernard pot leg.

21:33:15: Granpa Bernard would try and wriggle out of the way, but he cannae.

21:39:57: Earth Mage Paul Lo puts a tortoise out of his tophat and places it on its back, just beside Uncle. Noone cannot see the resmblances.. .

21:41:02: Earth Mage Paul Lo takes back the poor animal (the turtle) and feed its with some delicious super salad.

21:45:31: Earth Mage Paul Lo has a calm discussion with the testudinidae about price inflation at eBoy's, especially since that old granny that was blocking the line at the counter is dead.

21:52:52: Earth Mage Paul Lo tucks the turtle back in his tophat, then, just where the crippled will constantly see it, writes 'Kilroy was here' under a big-nosed man behind a wall. On the cement arm. Quite Nouvel Art.

21:56:44: Earth Mage Paul Lo waltzes around, finally sitting on cushions. “Snappity Snap Snap, says the tortoise.”

22:14:40: Earth Mage Paul Lo stares at the silence. The silence gazes silently back at the mage.

22:24:06: Jon Bishop fumbles in from his room, carrying along with him a book, which has a hold in it's cover, and several missing pages. He also drags along a collection of papaer shreds.

22:25:36: Earth Mage Paul Lo smiles at Jon and whispers Merlin's name.

22:27:48: Jon Bishop 's eye twitches. “How the hell does paper stay in the books, anyway? Glue?”

22:35:01: Earth Mage Paul Lo replies, “I am not sure of its composition, but that tastes good.”

22:35:24: Jon Bishop sets the contents one the ground, wandering over to the storage room. He disappears down the stairs, mumbling. “What? Glue? Tape? Fine. Both. Anything sticky.”

22:37:16: Jon Bishop 's voice resonates from down the stairs. “Damn shelves! The things are always running into me. You eat glue?”

22:40:52: Earth Mage Paul Lo loudly says, “There are many variants of glue; some are edible and others not. The best ones are the later.”

22:45:26: Jon Bishop goes silent for a moment, until his voice is heard once again. “Gah! This tastes awful! What kind of diet do you live on?!” He makes his way back up the stairs, carrying scotch tape and glue.

22:45:31: Granpa Bernard moans from the floor that Paul doesn't eat the food of a normal man, oysters, cheese straws, kebabs, chicken paella or turkey drumsticks.

22:46:49: Earth Mage Paul Lo giggles happily after hearing the two men's reactions.

22:47:44: Granpa Bernard would point at Paul accusingly, but his arm is under his body and the other is encased in plaster of paris, and held in place by a wire support.

22:49:21: Earth Mage Paul Lo could probably help the man, but it wouldn't be that fun.

22:50:01: Jon Bishop wanders back over to the cripples book, but not before coughing up some glue. “Grg.. .Remind me not to follow any of your dietary suggestions. Ever.”

22:51:05: Granpa Bernard would prefer people not to know him as a cripple. He's a person and he has feelings too.

22:54:32: Earth Mage Paul Lo winks at Bernard. Those 'different people' are really great to make fun of. “You had to inhale the glue in liquid form, that's how the cool kids do.”

22:55:20: Jon Bishop sits on the ground, crossing his legs. “Okay.. .I only need to fix a ripped hole in.. .”The counting begins. “one.. .two.. .three.. .”

22:55:43: Granpa Bernard manages to prop himself up on his supported cast, and from there, back to his feet, “Paul, give me the Gloy, and move away from the Copydex.”

22:57:00: Jon Bishop winces as the count grows higher. “Fourty five.. .fourty six.. .What? How do you inhale a liquid?”

23:00:15: Earth Mage Paul Lo sighs. “I have neither of those.” Else he wouldn't have it anymore because of glueing everything in the bingo hall.. . Dun dun dun.

23:01:49: Earth Mage Paul Lo says to Jon, “Strongly and deeply, young Padawan. Strongly use your diaphragm, and breath deeply on the afore mentioned stuff, with a straw if need be.”

23:06:21: Jon Bishop coughs. “As much as I'd like to.. .I think I need the glue for this.” As the counting continues, he grows anxious. “One hundred thirty two.. .one hundred thirty four.. .how many are there?!”

23:07:39: Earth Mage Paul Lo claps his hand. “Much more than you wish, and even more if someone wants.”

23:10:46: Jon Bishop lets out a breath. “What's that supposed to mean? The book is pissed off at me? Two hundred and twenty six..two hundred and twenty seven. I ripped a hole though 237 pages of a book.”

23:11:34: Jon Bishop corrects. “Er.. .227. At least, I think.”

23:11:43: Earth Mage Paul Lo asks, “And how many pages does this book contain?” 200?

23:15:59: Jon Bishop doesn't understand this. “No?” He stacks together some papers that were ripped from the book. “Okay.. .just glue those in, and tape a lot of holes.”

23:20:41: Jon Bishop begins the tedious process of ripping bits of tape from the roll, and repairing any rips and holes found on the pages. It doesn't look perfect, but it at least becomes slightly legible.

23:30:15: Jon Bishop looks to the pile of papers, grabbing the first page missing from the book. He squirts a line of glue across the spine, and slides the paper in. “Erm.. .it doesn't dry fast.. .”

23:34:03: Earth Mage Paul Lo looks serious as he says, “Are you sure this is glue?”

23:35:34: Jon Bishop shrugs. “It's sticky and liquidy. I couldn't really care less what it is.”

23:39:41: Earth Mage Paul Lo , if he was one of the more rowdy members of the clan, would have used that wide opening.. .

23:41:25: Jon Bishop continues. “But I do know it tasted awful.”

23:42:55: Jon Bishop tapes and glues for what he feels like is a century.

23:43:35: Granpa Bernard is still waiting for his bloody cuppa, now will someone please, please, please go and get one for him.

23:43:38: The Stray - SinkOrSwim pipes up from behind the sofa. “Sure you haven't been playing with yourself too much, Jon?”

23:44:28: Earth Mage Paul Lo snickers. In a very appropriate way.

23:46:07: Granpa Bernard disagrees, there's no appropriate way to snicker.

23:47:09: Jon Bishop squints in confusion. “Huh? I mean, I guess there's a time or two when I'd prefer to be alone.”

23:48:11: Granpa Bernard would put his 'poorly' arm round Jon, but he can't, it's 'poorly', “I know where you're coming from, now.. . Jon, we need to talk about your.. . Ahem.. . Stag party.. .

23:49:34: The Stray - SinkOrSwim chuckles behind the sofa. “We do. Anyone seen a good lamp post recently?”

23:50:50: Earth Mage Paul Lo shakes his head. Not him.

23:51:54: Granpa Bernard hobbles over, cornering Mr Bishop, “So, shall we? IC and the PSK is good this time of night, and.. . Well, I hear Emily is.. . Amenable.. .”

23:53:22: Jon Bishop finishes off his work, content with the final result. A few drips of glue run down the side of the book, but other than that, it's slightly almost in-a way back to its former glory. '“Erm? Okay..”

23:54:46: Granpa Bernard puts one hand on Jon's shoulder, his be-casted arm swings round, it's got an 'L' for 'Learner' plate on strings which he pops round Bish's neck.. . Unfortunately momentum gets the better, and he falls

23:55:13: The Stray - SinkOrSwim stands, human but naked. He holds a book across his crotch and grins. “I'll just go get dressed, then we should go for a beverage.. .”

23:55:44: Granpa Bernard is on the floor again, “Will someone help me up, please, Paul? And, ehm, in my satchel, over there, we've got some T-Shirts to put on.. .”

23:59:33: Earth Mage Paul Lo sighs, then stands up and approaches the old man. Heave-ho, but a gentle one, and Bernard his back up for now.

00:00:47: Granpa Bernard manages to get up himself no thanks to the 'lads', “Well bloody thanks you two. Hope G and Dave and that lot get the note to come to the PSK eh? Right, get your T shirts on, I had 'em done special

00:02:55: Jon Bishop turns his head, wandering over to the satchel.”There's t-shirts?”

00:03:58: The Stray - SinkOrSwim pads back from his room, in a pair of combats and boots. He reaches for the satchel and pulls out a shirt. “Bernard, what?”

00:04:50: Earth Mage Paul Lo sighs again. Is he giving him the cold shoulder? Yes, that one in plaster.

00:05:11 T shirts indeed, all of which have an amazing likeness of Bishop's vizzog, an 'L' sign and a rude comment according to the wearer. Bishop's says 'BLUSHING BRIDE.“

00:05:16: Metallic g_rock , fortuitously, happens in at that exact moment

00:06:32: Metallic g_rock looks like he's not been sleeping, and he seems nervous and fidgetty “Erm, What's going on fellas?”

00:06:43: Granpa Bernard rummages one handed in the satchel, “Paul, this is yours.. .” it says Jeffrey Dahmer ate my Hamster, “Sink, yours.. .” My hamster ate Jeffrey Dahmer, “G's is the one with Maggie T on.. .”

00:06:47: Earth Mage Paul Lo doesn't seem to catch the drift, not at all. He's the one that has to get the joke explained, especially when it comes to English.

00:06:48: The Stray - SinkOrSwim 's reads “Sinister Minister”. Hmmm.. .

00:08:12: Granpa Bernard gets Dave's out and pops it on the side for him, then brings his own out, it's a big naked man, Bernard looks at it, horrified, “Those wazzocks.” he expounds, “This was supposed to be Bishops”

00:08:29: Jon Bishop lifts a brow. “Bride? Why do all the shirt say- oh. Just mine does.. .”

0:08:43: Earth Mage Paul Lo takes the shirt and looks at it. 1994, a good year. The harejoker puts it in a pocket (not even a bump), smiling.

00:10:03: Granpa Bernard hisses, “Will you lot put your T-shirts on, and will some bugger get the tequila out? Eh? We all need a couple of shots before heading out.”

00:11:40: Earth Mage Paul Lo pouts at Bernard. “A little too excited about the prospect of alcohol, eh?”

00:12:29: Granpa Bernard swings round to face Paul, he grimaces, the sudden movement causing agonies untold, “Nah, just wanna self-medicate.. .”

00:12:39: Metallic g_rock catches a shirt emblazoned with a grinning Margaret Thatcher wearing nothing but a G-string and two strategically placed pictures of Ron Reagan's grinning mug

00:13:27: Metallic g_rock grimaces “Erm.. .thanks?”

00:13:45: The Stray - SinkOrSwim pulls his shirt on. Then strides to the cabinet, takes out MezCal, Aftershock and a bottle of Buckfast. The Murricans might get a shock.. .

00:14:09: Granpa Bernard somehow, one-handed, unscrews the lid of a bottle of Mezcal (avec wormypoos), and hands it to Bishop, “Here, have a good swig of this son, it'll do us all good.” he admires the blushing bride T.

00:15:12: Jon Bishop whips on the shirt, though it wouldn't exactly be his first choice in clothing design.

00:15:18: Granpa Bernard really wants to butt heads with someone in a frat-style manner, but, unfortunately, he's in a mobile form of traction, and it won't prove easy, “Cooooommmm ONNNNNN!”

00:16:06: Metallic g_rock slips his shirt on under his jacket `(he's just that good, that's how!) and reaches for a bottle

00:16:35: Metallic g_rock sneezes

00:16:49: Jon Bishop eyes the drink in confusion. “Well.. .It can't be as bad as Paul's diet, I guess.” He swipes the bottle and has a drink.

00:17:08: Metallic g_rock sneezes again

00:17:23: Jon Bishop jerks back. “WHAT WHAT?!”

00:18:40: Earth Mage Paul Lo cackles at the mention of his name.

00:18:47: Granpa Bernard attaboys, “Attaboy,” he hands the bottle to G, “Here, that'll give you an allergic reaction if nothing will!” and then, once the bottle is gone, rummages and brings out a bottle of absinthe.

00:19:05: The Stray - SinkOrSwim grabs the AfterShock, picks up a can of something caffienated, and mixes Rocket Fuel. He passes them around. “To the groom!!”

00:20:30: Jon Bishop nearly coughs the Mezcal up on the first drink. “Er.. .what did you say that was again? It tastes like I'm drinking cigarette butts.. .”

00:20:43: Metallic g_rock accepts a can that smells like sterno and a bottle that looks like life itself. He toasts with both, and takes a mouthful of each before passing them along

00:20:45: Granpa Bernard hands THAT bugger to Sink, “Are you making a boom boom for the night there old bean?”

0:21:21: Granpa Bernard realises Sink has his own cocktail doing the rounds, so keeps the absinthe.. .

00:22:29: Metallic g_rock wonders, idly, where one might tuck a single req token in a lady's skimpy undergarment.. .then decides to worry about that later “To the gr*urp*groom!”

00:23:01: Granpa Bernard rummages again, and this time brings out some Mad Dog 20/20, Peach Thunderbird, Stones Ginger Wine, advocaat, blue curacao, Kahlua and squirty cream; he produces a big crystal bowl and pours 'em in..

00:23:46: Jon Bishop swipes the drink from G, willing to drink anything to change the flavor in his mouth. He quickly gulps down a small amount.

00:23:46: The Stray - SinkOrSwim takes a very long swig of Rocket Fuel, and nabs the absinthe from behind Bernard's back “Just warming up, plate captain!”.

00:24:53: Earth Mage Paul Lo puts a small dusty unnamed bottle from his personal stock. A wicked grin, he takes a whisk and sneakily put it with the other bottles.

00:24:56: Granpa Bernard has adopted a sing-song voice, 00:25:23: Granpa Bernard asks, in said sing-song voice, “Anyone for Sangria?”

00:25:49: Jon Bishop perks. “OH my god whatisthis? Tryitnowitisgood.”

00:26:59: Earth Mage Paul Lo raises his glove (and the hand in it).

00:27:00: The Stray - SinkOrSwim grins. The groom is getting there.. . talking of which.. .

00:27:27: Granpa Bernard looks serious, “Now look you lot. Noone gets left behind! Except Paul, and only if he goes feral. Shall we head to the PSK? We've a lap-danc.. . Uhm.. . Terpsichorean ecdysiast treat for Bishop here”

00:29:18: Metallic g_rock cheers, or has a fit of hiccups, or maybe both. It sounds excited, though, whatever it is.

00:29:52: Spandex: enters the halls, compelled by the smell of absinthe. “Hi Bernard! Make me one” She rounds the corner and is then assaulted by the stench of testosterone.

00:30:38: Earth Mage Paul Lo cheers up for what it's worth. Except for the feral part.

00:30:55: Jon Bishop isn't sure how one can dance with just their lap. “Yeah! We'll get a.. .Terpsy thing!”

00:30:59: Granpa Bernard QUICKLY nips over to Dex, with a fake moustache (nicked from Callia) and a note.. .

00:31:56: Metallic g_rock hands Dex some of Sink's rocket fuel with a grin

00:32:16: The Stray - SinkOrSwim grins at Dex. “Ah, the aforementioned terpsichorean ecdysiast!” He grins even more. ” 'ello darlin'.. .“

00:33:15: Earth Mage Paul Lo drinks his sangria, all smiles.

00:33:30: Metallic g_rock also hands Dex a rolled-up enquirer with a glance at Sink.

00:35:37: Granpa Bernard takes a huge draught of the 'sangria', and immediately turns green. Seconds later the green is changed into white, and then he's fine again. His belches, however, are anything but.. .

00:36:21: Earth Mage Paul Lo whispers to Bernard, “Is the petition still running?”

0:36:23: Spandex: walks over to Sink, and leans forward like she's going to plant a lovely smooch on him. She smiles. Then THWAPS him on. “fuck that, you bastard.”

00:37:43: Granpa Bernard shouts over the commotion, “FUCK KNOWS PAUL, WHO GIVES A FUCK? FUCK THE FUCKING PETITION. FUCKSHITBOLLOCKSWANKTWAT.” he falls over again.

00:38:25: Metallic g_rock grins at Paul “I took care of the bar tab. He's still none too happy to have us, but we're allowed in for special engagements.” he doesn't mention the huge deposit he had to lay down

00:39:02: Jon Bishop grabs himself another drink, watching as Sink gets pegged in the face. “Daahmn.”

00:39:30: The Stray - SinkOrSwim grins, and falls over backwards. He smiles up at Dex. “Hello m'dear, where did you come from? Coming *hic* to the pub?”

00:39:36: Granpa Bernard starts doing the round up signal above his head, unfortunately the floor curtails this somewhat, and the effect is a bit stilted thanks to his prone position, but God loves a trier.. .

00:39:47: Earth Mage Paul Lo giggles as he puts Bernard back up in shape for the night; that includes a jug full of whiskey, too.

00:41:25: Granpa Bernard isn't sure what Paul has done there, and he's going to walk funny for weeks, but he's back on his feet (at least) and ready for a whuppin' “Let's ship out you hoary bastards!”

00:41:56: Earth Mage Paul Lo shakes his head. “Unless Spandex obtained a new appendice.. . some of us would become desperate.” He is probably saying that Stag does are for male only, usually.

00:42:10: Metallic g_rock grabs a random bottle and heads for the door. It may have been Paul's mystery bottle, it's unclear. “As they say out west, Head 'em up, aaaand moooove 'em out!”

00:42:37: Earth Mage Paul Lo , of course, wouldn't say it like that. Too sneaky.

00:45:13: The Stray - SinkOrSwim thinks Paul probably meant 'appendage', but hey.. .

00:45:23: Granpa Bernard turns to face the stragglers, “Come on you mothers, if I can shift this fucking concrete glove and legwarmer, then I'm sure you big softies can get yo' butts to the PSK!”

00:46:16: The Stray - SinkOrSwim stands up, grabs the bottle of Aftershock, and wanders towards the door, with a wink to Dex.

00:46:34: Jon Bishop holds a bottle out, following out of the hall. “YEAH! To the prancing.. .place!”

00:47:13: Granpa Bernard WHOOOOOOOOOOOOPS, and leaves.. .

00:47:25: Earth Mage Paul Lo freights a load of liquid intoxicants, ready to go.

00:48:03: Earth Mage Paul Lo manages to waltz with his load.. .

00:48:31: Jon Bishop quickly stumbles back in, setting the repaired book on the sofa. Moments later, he is gone once again.

Drink 8, The Prancing Spiderkitty

00:48:35: Metallic g_rock stumbles through the door “Right, Dan, you got the deposit, I assume?” Dan nods, glancing at a HUGE bag of req behind the counter “Right, then, GERM, party of.. .who knows!”

00:49:15: Uncle Bernard arrives first, and puts a slab of plastic on the counter, “Look, you berk, believe me, this is Improbable Express and it's accepted in, like, everywhere on the Island, and you're pissin and moanin”

00:49:32: The Stray - SinkOrSwim pads in, in his “Bishop's Stag Do” shirt. He clears a couple of tables, Dan glaring at him all the while.

00:49:51: Earth Mage Paul Lo comes in third, giggling.

00:50:30: Uncle Bernard narrows his eyes, and hisses under his breath, “Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan.. . This is what is known as a symbiotic relationship.. .” he listens to the barkeep a second, “So what if I'm i traction?”

00:50:49: Earth Mage Paul Lo puts his charge on a sturdy table and go fetch that one container he kind of forgot last time he came.. .

00:52:38: Uncle Bernard glares now, “And let's just put it this way, you go and whinge at the Council. You think I mind? You're wrong, son. Wrong and wrong and wrong. You go ahead, but put some beers out first, eh?!”

00:52:41: The Stray - SinkOrSwim leans over, grabs the barkeep by the collar, and smiles. “Beers. Please. Thank you.” Then he pads back to the table and sits down.

00:53:41: Uncle Bernard wonders where the big attraction is, “Has someone brought Bishop? Oh, come on lads, you can't go leaving him, he'll be on the phone to Merlin if we don't keep an eye on him.”

00:53:48: Metallic g_rock catches a glancing glare from Dan, but grins and heads back to the table 00:54:22: Jon Bishop fumbles in, finishing off a drink. “Yes. This has more.. .ambiance!”

00:55:30: Uncle Bernard pushes a small shot glass towards Bishop, “Doesn't it just? Here, neck that, we need to get you another!”

00:56:08: The Stray - SinkOrSwim raises an eyebrow. “Ambience now, ambulance later. Hahahaha.. .” He takes a swig of his beer.

00:56:33: Jon Bishop questions. “Why is this drink.. .so small?”

00:57:22: Metallic g_rock holds up 5 fingers to Dan, and points to the table. The barkeep shrugs, brings shots, and goes back to putting away the good dishes (Yes, there are apparently worse ones!)

00:57:23: Earth Mage Paul Lo smirks as he drinks his own.

00:58:01: Uncle Bernard doesn't know that sort of thing, “It's like an appetiser. Soup. Sorty thing, eh?” he could do with one himself, so he nudges Sink with his entractioned arm.

00:58:57: The Stray - SinkOrSwim looks at the berk. “Any particular spirit, squire, or would a general mish-mash work?”

00:59:55: Jon Bishop accepts. “Right on! Just.. .a first course. I get it!” He takes the shot, though his face turns afterwards. “Is't supposed to burn?”

01:01:17: The Stray - SinkOrSwim grins. “Only when we get Sambucas. DAN!! Sambuca times five, and a box of matches please.”

01:01:26: Uncle Bernard shakes his.. . we say 'shakes'.. . he moves the brace round his neck a touch, “Shitknows. Ds t burn?!” to Sink, “General, marshal your forces! MISH MASH please.”

01:01:29: Metallic g_rock nods to Bishop, then makes for the loo. By the look of things, it'll take him about 15 minutes or so to get there and back.

01:04:41: The Stray - SinkOrSwim grins. “Alright bub, your fuckin' head is comin' right off .. .” He pours a certain selection into a half glass and hands it to Bernard, topping it off with a dash of Dog.

01:05:10: Uncle Bernard wonders if Sink could light the sambuccas, “Come on old son, I'm slightly disabled, currently.”

01:05:20: Earth Mage Paul Lo wonders why G has so small a bladder.. . Probably evolution.

01:06:18: Uncle Bernard pushes his drink to Bishop, he's the party-boy, (wonder when the 'entertainment' is coming.. .) and asks Sink for another, “Nothing with 'brollies in, I know your type.”

01:07:23: The Stray - SinkOrSwim sets fire to the sambuca. And the table. “Hazard drinking. Anyone done a risk assessment? I have. It's risky. Drink through it.. .”

01:08:43: Uncle Bernard bobs down, grabs the glass between his teeth, and flings himself backwards. The liquor, under normal conditions would go straight down his throat, whilst the vacuum would piss off the fire triangle.

01:09:44: Uncle Bernard realises, too late, these aren't normal circumstances. He flies back off his bar stool, and a glass full of flaming sambucca is splattered all over his face. Burning alcohol on flesh, well.. .

01:11:27: Uncle Bernard remembers from those student days, isn't all that bad really, as long as the alcohol doesn't all burn away. Unfortunately there's but 35ml of alcohol twixt Bernard & immolation. He BURNS.

01:11:44: Uncle Bernard squeaks.

01:12:34: Jon Bishop panicks. “Angh?! Fire?! I got it!” He pulls his trusty shovel from his back, and begins backing the fire out of him.

01:12:55: The Stray - SinkOrSwim dives across Uncle B, smothering the flames but possibly breaking his nose.

01:13:05: Earth Mage Paul Lo looks at Sink and asks either for a 'Min-Max' or a 'shaker of Korn1)'. The latter one his obviously a shadowy reference.

01:14:24: Earth Mage Paul Lo throws coarse sand at the flaming man.

01:14:39: Jon Bishop fortunately doesn't use much of his muscle strength while under the influence. “Erm?! Gone?”

01:16:19: Uncle Bernard now has a broken nose and a slightly barbecued aroma to add to his current, slightly put upon mien, “DEEERS DINK. DOUGHT D MIDE BE N DRUDDLE DERE.”

01:18:59: The Stray - SinkOrSwim helps Uncle B back on to his chair, mentally translating. “No worries, Unc. Want something none-flammable?” He fixes Bernard a Shirley Temple, and Paul a Pisco Sour.

01:20:01: Earth Mage Paul Lo replies, “Dreidl dreidl dreidl, drei. Bernard needs booze badly.”

01:20:36: Uncle Bernard gets confused by the gingham laced bevvy, “Sink, should we get some cigars or something?”

01:21:47: Earth Mage Paul Lo pokes the glass, then drains its content.

01:22:25: Uncle Bernard hisses across the table at the lads, “Look, when the str.. . lady who lunches has been and gone, who's up for a good Ruby or a Dutty Keeb?”

01:22:39: The Stray - SinkOrSwim raises an eyebrow again. “Yes Bernard. We can light them off your fringe.”

01:24:02: Uncle Bernard starts to bring out takeaway and late-night diner menus from his cardigan, “They do nice ones.. .” nice? “In SquatHole.” there's an involuntary shudder.. .

01:25:36 Suddenly, music erupts from the PSK's rather poor soundsystem, it sounds like an old 8-bit games console, but.. . Somehow, it's slightly erotic. Erotic as in sexy, rather than 'erratic'.. .

01:26:20: Earth Mage Paul Lo seems to like that one.. .

01:26:40: Uncle Bernard tries to nudge Bishop, but ends up in his lap, he looks up into Jon's eyes, “Eh? Sorry, ehm, pay attention? This is for you!”

01:26:59: Jon Bishop glances around the bar in confusion. “Hrm?”

01:27:14: The Stray - SinkOrSwim grimaces. “They might do carry-out. Or deliver. The catapult should have a use these days.. .”

01:27:50 There's a rustle behind the curtains. That's 'rustle' rather than Russell, who appears to have P.A. duty tonight, “Aaaand.. . We have a special night for MR JON BISHOP!”

01:28:32: Uncle Bernard nudges Jon again, “See! Hey, get some money out you bloody cheapskate!”

01:30:14: Earth Mage Paul Lo claps his hands together, gleeful.

01:30:44: Uncle Bernard knows what's coming next, he'd arranged with Emily and Saucy to give Jon a bit of an eyeful. Well, one of the two at least. Or. Well, someone. Hey, it's his pension, and it doesn't go that far.

01:30:53: Jon Bishop frowns. “What?! Someone's going to take my money?” He hesitantly pulls a few requisition from his pocket.

01:33:54 The curtains rustle some more, and the music becomes more and more urgent, more sexual. We say 'sexual', we mean sleazy. Or desperate.

01:35:08: Uncle Bernard winks at G, Sink and Paul, “He's gonna get a right eyeful. These private dancers, well, they're dancers for money.. .”

01:36:24: Jon Bishop frowns. “B-but. I don't understand. I like my money!”

01:39:52: Citizen Ari: peeks into pub curiously

01:40:49: Uncle Bernard tries to make a grab for Bishop's cheeks, but fails to remember that he's in traction and ends up face down in a some of Sink's slops, his face starts to fizz.. . Eventually Bernard manages to escape.

01:42:11: Uncle Bernard 's face now has a certain stickiness to it that could be attractive to bees or small children, “Balls, hey, who's that with the wedding band on?”

01:43:54: The Stray - SinkOrSwim grins, leers, and pours another round of drinks. This time round, B52s. Hehehehe

01:44:54: Citizen Ari: gives a small smile and a wave “Hello, I am Ari”

01:45:29: Earth Mage Paul Lo 's ears twitch. “It would be best if you did not pertain this event, missus Ari. Your husband is not here.”

01:46:30: Earth Mage Paul Lo did not say that in a mean way; some ladies are truly offended by the sleaziness of male humans over pieces of nude flesh.

01:46:38: Uncle Bernard wonders where THE David is.

01:46:51: Jon Bishop swipes the B52. “Woah.. .this one is all multi-colored.”

01:48:26: Citizen Ari: nods “Okay, well hello everyone!” and skips back out

01:49:55: Metallic g_rock finally, using the smell of smoke and smut, manages to wend his way back to the table “Right, lads, where's the entertainment?”

01:50:32: The Stray - SinkOrSwim waves happily at Ari. He frowns at Paul “That was tremendously rude. This is a public place, she can be here if she wants. But I need more drink. “He produces a Maple Old Fashioned.

01:50:37: Earth Mage Paul Lo cheers for the coming entertainment.

01:51:01: Metallic g_rock dearly hopes Bernard hasn't gotten Big Su Skronky for the evening. Not after last time.. .

01:51:11 The drum roll slows, and there's a final rustle of the raffia-like metallic curtains. The super-trooper picks out.. . Something.. . Low.. . Down.. . A.. . Goat? No, a midget. Man.

01:51:28: Earth Mage Paul Lo 's ears droop down, though his face is still cheery. “Could I have a cup of maple syrup, at least?”

01:52:19: Uncle Bernard watches in horror as Russell appears on stage, dressed in what could only be described as some sort of harness, “Hello darlin'” says the midget to Bishop.

01:53:05: Uncle Bernard looks at Sink, Paul and G and the horror is apparent in his eyes, he hisses at them, quietly, “Can we let this abomination continue?”

01:53:32: The Stray - SinkOrSwim frowns at Paul. “Hmmm. Okay.” He places a sticky bottle of syrup on the table.

01:53:33: Earth Mage Paul Lo nods, not departing of his happy face.

01:54:16: Earth Mage Paul Lo puts a finger in the sticky syrup, putting it on his tongue.

01:54:29: Jon Bishop flinches. “Eh..erm. Hello. W-what the hell are you?!” This is the demon that has come to steal his money?

01:57:14: The Stray - SinkOrSwim chuckles, and slides under the table.

01:57:22: Metallic g_rock TWITCHES, then grins a sly grin. He points to Bishop, tossing a hanful of req at Russel “That's your target!”

01:58:16 Russell, looking resplendent in a purple basque, hairy chest and stumpy legs, rolls over to the lad, Bishop, “You're a good looking boy, do you want a ride in my truck?”

01:59:45: Uncle Bernard is making neck slicing 'end it all now' motions behind Bishop's back at his chums, who are all, it seems, totally engrossed in Russell's show. Bernard might have known.. .

02:00:00: Jon Bishop 's eyes widen. “I'M A TARGET?! Uhm.. .thanks? No, no.. .I'm perfectly fine walking places, I think.. .”

02:02:13 Russell ain't havin' that, he puts one stumpy leg (with no small difficulty) on the faded, cigarette burned velvet seat next to Bishop, “Sure you ain't goin' yet, dahlin?”

02:02:45: Earth Mage Paul Lo has much rope, if entertainment needs some. Here, it's of very good quality.. .

02:03:35: Uncle Bernard hisses in Paul's ear, “Do something man! If Russell loses his quarry, we don't know what will happen! Can you not remember Pleasantville a year ago?!”

02:05:23: Jon Bishop bites his lip, looking for a change of focus. “Uh, Uh. Sooooooo uh, how about those politics? Those are pretty.. .interesting, right?”

02:06:31 The midget begins to shimmy, onlookers dart for the cloakrooms, he grinds up closer to the man of the moment, “Tell me it ain't so, sugar, you ain't getting wed, are ye?”

02:07:31: Metallic g_rock grins at Bishop's discomfort, apparently having a very good time with it. He slips Russel a coupla more reqs “Nah, he's all yours!”

02:07:48: Earth Mage Paul Lo has no idea what Bernard is hissing about, but nods nonetheless. Silently, he sneaks behind Bishop's seat, ready to bind him or the midget at the old bloke's signal.

02:10:43: Uncle Bernard: `/special Russell whispers in Bish's ear, if it seems slightly sordid, then Russell makes no bones about it, he's on a grindin' mission. And it may as well be from God. He winks at G, lasciviously.

02:10:49: Jon Bishop tries to use his feet to slowly push himself and the chair back. “Uh, Maybe. How about.. .I just, you know, I really should head out.”

02:11:28: Earth Mage Paul Lo :quickly make the ropes dance, entraping its victim on the chair. “You like this sort of foreplay, don't you?”

02:11:50: Metallic g_rock casually places a foot behind Jon's chair, keeping it from sliding

02:12:25: Earth Mage Paul Lo points at poor Jon. “Here, Russel, your pretty darling that is going to marry!”

02:13:42: Jon Bishop panicks. “What the fuck?! What the fuck?! Let me out. I donotwanttobehere. Outout. Outnowplease. OUT.”

02:14:39: Earth Mage Paul Lo giggles as he gently pats Jon's head. “Now, now, you don't want to miss your own party. Be a good lad and appreciate this moment.”

02:15:06: Uncle Bernard comes rolling to the rescue, one potted leg, and one potted arm, and one well-potted lascivious midget caught amongst the whirlwind of jerky movements. Russell reels righteously, and rolls roundly.

02:16:19: Uncle Bernard stands between the baying pack and Bishop, “Lads, what do you think Mer will do to us if we tie Bishop naked to a lamppost in AceHigh?” there's a sly and mischeivous look on his vizzog.. .

02:16:36: Metallic g_rock lays his head on Bishop's shoulder “Now, now, wouldn't want to offend our guest, would we?” he holds him in place, with perhaps more force than necessary

02:17:08: Earth Mage Paul Lo laughs mischievously. “Before, during or after the rest of the party?”

02:18:10: Jon Bishop screams. “DO NOT STEAL MY SOUL OR MONEY!”

02:18:21: Metallic g_rock does not do what he last said, obviously. He instead grins manically “Good idea!”

02:18:43: Uncle Bernard points out of the door, “To AceHigh with him, and the nearest gaslight! We'll gaffa tape him out of the midget's reach, thus avoiding one source of conflict with his bethrothed!”

02:19:39: Uncle Bernard doesn't need to add, 'opening him up to another.' That, my dear readers, is another, entirely.

02:20:43: Earth Mage Paul Lo raises his arm in a conqueror pose. “To AceHigh!”

02:21:50: Jon Bishop laughs nervously. “Now.. .now come on.. .no need to be rash.. .I can run from him! I'm fast! I swear!”

02:22:04: Metallic g_rock grins and throws Bish over his shoulder, still tied to the chair “Lead on!”

02:24:35: Metallic g_rock grins, makes a noise like a half-dozen ratchets spinning at once, and sprints out

02:24:55: Earth Mage Paul Lo enters the March to AceHigh.

Drinks 12+ AceHigh

02:22:36: Granpa Bernard locates a suitable gaslight to the north edge (thus catching the biting CC404 winds) of the Town Square. It's a solid, ironcast, beautifully wrought light. Bernard grins, and, one-handed, rummages.. .

02:27:21: Earth Mage Paul Lo arrives before the lamp post sign.

02:28:02: Metallic g_rock sprints in, looking like he's enjoying himself a bit too much. He places the bishop-chair combo in the topwn square

02:30:04: Jon Bishop whimpers. Bargaining isn't working. Threats, perhaps? “You.. .If you all do this! Holes. Holes everywhere. You won't know what ground is real or not.”

02:31:19: Jon Bishop continues. “How would that feel?! 'Oh, I'm just walking along, look at that ground over there! NO. Now I'm stuck in a fucking hole! I didn't see that!' Think of the inconvenience!”

02:32:13: Earth Mage Paul Lo 's eyes have a glint of hunger as he looks at Jon. “Holes? That's a good idea; make holes in more books and blame you. What do you think?”

02:33:01: Earth Mage Paul Lo is obviously mad and evil. Or just mad, that okay too.

02:33:09: The Stray - SinkOrSwim appears out of thin air. He has a bag of zip ties in his hand. Eboy had spare stock

02:33:55: Granpa Bernard shakes his head, well.. . NOT SHAKES - head stuck in a neck brace, see. One-handed, he brings out a roll of electricians tape, “Geddim. He's goddabe taped.”

02:35:19: Earth Mage Paul Lo: We're doing to decorate, decorate, decorate, we're going to decorate, with our lad, Bishop~.

02:35:20: Granpa Bernard pauses briefly, thinking, this is all a bit menacing. Then he realises, this is stag-dos the whole world over. This is NO different.

02:37:10: Metallic g_rock grins and leaves them to it for now. He runs into the clan halls for a moment “Be right back!” he remembers a trick he heard from some old friends.. .

02:37:27: The Stray - SinkOrSwim nods. “Pull the chair to the gaslight. Put his hands round the back of it. Then leave me to it.. ..”

02:38:22: Jon Bishop squirms, trying to break free from restraint. “Damnit, Paul! What are these things?”

02:40:24: Granpa Bernard is having 'flashbacks' - the gaslight.. . the glinting chib.. . the blood.. . No. Sorry. Not flashbacks, he's just watched “Springheeled Jack” again on Betamax.

02:41:47: Metallic g_rock dashes back out from the clan halls, laden with a dozen small mason jars and an armful of tealight candles

02:42:00: Earth Mage Paul Lo giggles like a child then answers, “It would spoil the mystery if I said the truth.” He conveys the prize under the gas lamp and throws the free end high, letting it fall the ther side. Hanger.

02:43:28: Earth Mage Paul Lo manages to free the chair but not the groom, then tugs on the end. “Will hold.”

02:44:09: Earth Mage Paul Lo asks, “We could tape him to the post when at the right height, no?

02:46:00: Jon Bishop snorts. “Come on now.. .what do we all gain here? We can all get along, right? Right?”

02:47:03: Earth Mage Paul Lo knows all about gain and loss, and judged that it was best for all. Or something like that.

02:50:39: Earth Mage Paul Lo cheers up (again), waltzing around the sacrificial lamp pole.

02:51:56: Metallic g_rock unfortunately has to attend to some important matters. He grins, though, and leaves some instructions, jars, and candles

02:52:15: The Stray - SinkOrSwim grins nastily. “WE gain amusement. YOU, shortly, gain a wife. The trade is very fair, methinks.. .”

02:53:03: Earth Mage Paul Lo waves at the departing g_rock. It's not the main event, so this is forgivable.

02:53:19: Metallic g_rock points to the pile of stuff “You take a jar, hold it sideways, and light a candle in it toward the bottom. Then, you place the jar against bare flesh. The cndle snuffs out, crerating a vacuum.”

02:53:37: Earth Mage Paul Lo nods energically at Sink's statement, still turning.

02:54:55: Jon Bishop 's face goes dull. “What.”

02:55:04: Metallic g_rock adds, as he leaves, “And a massive round hickey for the bride to find. The jar will stick until pulled off.” he grins once more at Bishop “Good luck!”

02:58:31: Jon Bishop cringes in agony. “Oh, okay. Goodbye, G. Did I mention that I FUCKING HATE YOU?”

02:58:51: Earth Mage Paul Lo whispers, “Candle Jack”. Nothing happens.. .

02:59:52: Earth Mage Paul Lo waltzes back from a certain spot where he was himself tied, thought shoddily. He smiles at `”Jon.

03:03:47: Jon Bishop hesitantly looks back. “Do your worst, demon mage!”

03:05:51: Earth Mage Paul Lo shrugs. Demon? He sits on the now unoccupied chair and says,”Do I look like a demonic entity to you?”

03:08:29: Jon Bishop growls. “Demons don't usually look like deomns! That's how they trick you!”

03:10:36: Earth Mage Paul Lo finds that idea quite strange. “Wouldn't demons look like what they truly are so that humans would be too confounded and use inverse logic, believing they are regular beings? Isn't that how's done?

03:13:19: Jon Bishop sighs. “Look, are you all going to carry through with this or not?! You've all been just talk so far. Get the hell on with it already!”

03:14:59: Earth Mage Paul Lo smirks. “Why should you and me be the only ones to enjoy this, eh?”

03:18:33: Jon Bishop squirms more. “Whatever. Can I sleep while everyone laughs? Frankly, I've realized that I'm not going to die. Take a damn video if you want others to enjoy it!”

03:19:52: Earth Mage Paul Lo pokes his own hand, a sad smile on his face. “Since you give up all your rights as a human beings.. . I suppose we do not mind.”

03:22:47: Earth Mage Paul Lo supposes it'd be best not to overdo it; Jon has to be alive and (more or less) well for his promised. And he's a clannie.

03:23:16: Jon Bishop sights a camera in the distance. “Oh! Don't bother! I forgot that we're already on fucking TV! The job is already done for you!”

03:26:49: Second Lieutenant Praco sticks a toungue out at Bishop Hey, watch your language young man!

03:27:07: Earth Mage Paul Lo looks sad; Jon is spluttering too much for his liking. He stands up and pull on the hanging device, setting the man off ground, upside down. He lights a smoky fire underneath and looks up.

03:28:49: Earth Mage Paul Lo , looking at the very low amount of citizens around, concoct further amusement, or is maybe waiting.

03:30:45: Granpa Bernard bids everyone a goodnight as his cast, broken bits and neck brace insist he goes to bed.

03:31:23: The Stray - SinkOrSwim looks up from his position on the ground. “Paul. Behave. Leave Bishop tied to the lamp post. And no doing anything un-natural with him, alright”

03:34:30: Earth Mage Paul Lo purses his lips and look with drowned puppy eyes at Sink. “But but, he gave away his rights!” With a frustrated pout, he tugs again on the rope, setting Jon back head up and puts sand on the fire

03:34:51: Jon Bishop feels panicked again. “Oh come on! What's this now?!” He takes a moment to glare at the Officer. “I'LL FUCKING CURSE ALL THE FUKCING HELL I WANT, IM HANGING THE FUCK UPSIDE FUCKING DOWN.”

03:36:34: Earth Mage Paul Lo had a crate full of balls made of filthy wet midget rags, the only thing below an average midget's clothes. He opens it for all to use, and a sign 'Hit the hung man and win a prize!' is set beside.

03:37:53: Granpa Bernard rolls, literally, around, ensuring Bishop is safely secured about four feet up and not in any danger at all.

03:38:10: Earth Mage Paul Lo , annotyed by all that shouting, aims and shoot a particularly smelly ragball at Jon Bishop.

03:38:48: Granpa Bernard looks back at himself, and realises, by shite, he should have been in bed ages ago. He looks confused and immediately falls over.

03:39:10: Granpa Bernard wakes briefly to ask for 'kebabs'.

03:39:40: The Stray - SinkOrSwim pats Bishop on the head. “Paul, doesn't work with me. Bishop, you are summarily sentenced to be left here overnight, tied to a lamp post. No pleading allowed.”

03:39:51: Granpa Bernard stops, “Who wants keeb, and who wants a curray?”

03:40:33: Earth Mage Paul Lo wants choco curry in a bread!

03:42:57: Jon Bishop takes a rag to the face. “Guh.. .Fine.”

03:43:59: Earth Mage Paul Lo gives himself a marvelous prize. Hm.

03:44:02: Granpa Bernard realises Paul is onto something, “Choco-kebaba-curray-sweetandsouresque.. .” lip-smacking, bum-furtling good!

03:44:44: The Stray - SinkOrSwim grins at Bernard. “Donner naan, chilli sauce, no salad please”

03:47:09: Earth Mage Paul Lo adds this to his list of party social tricks; hanging, throwing shame balls and hunger torture. Neat!

03:47:20: Granpa Bernard is up with the naan, prefers chicken and definitely wants salad, garlic & lemon, “Squat Hole?”

03:49:01: Granpa Bernard falls asleep. There's going to be a hangover here in Acehigh in the morning.

03:49:30: Earth Mage Paul Lo wonders what is in the mind of Bernard. “Squat Hole?”

03:51:18: Earth Mage Paul Lo sighs. Old people and their sleeping deficiencies/narcolepsy fits. He throws another rag at Bishop, all wide and ready to surround this time.

03:53:16: Jon Bishop s face is covered. “NO. NO! Agh. I am DONE! NO MORE!” He flings his head backwards, bashing it into the lamp post and knocking himself out.

03:54:03: Earth Mage Paul Lo places something very extremely precious to Jon just underneath him, on top of the sand. “Try not to relieve yourself.”

03:56:27: Earth Mage Paul Lo sighs again. “Zetsubou desta. Curry price is rising, and most of the fun has gone away.” A look at the veiled head, then “He seemed to have fun, at least. That's good.”

03:57:31: The Stray - SinkOrSwim steps over, ending the evening's amusement. He picks up the unconscious Bishop, and chair, and head back for the halls.

04:00:50: Earth Mage Paul Lo sighs a third time, much much longer. He places a new target on the lamp post, cover its face, takes away Jon's precious stuff and go away. He looked slightly different than usual.

04:05:58: The Stray - SinkOrSwim isn't being entirely charitable. He leaves the unconscious Bishop just outside the door of the clan hall, facing the square, with the legend “UNCLEAN” across his forehead.

04:08:14: The Stray - SinkOrSwim adds a certain quantity of zip ties to restrain the errant groom, then pads off into the hall to sleep.

And all that was left, was the hangovers.

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staaaaaaaaag.txt · Last modified: 2023/11/21 18:03 by

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