The Old Improbable Island Wiki

<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: You might wanna send her a distraction at the least. Just so she knows it's just a joke and all...
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps: You might wanna send her a distraction at the least. Just so she knows it's just a joke and all...
<LHTF> JESUS CHRISTS IT'S A Deity of Choice notes that Z isn't on right now. He's got maybe five minutes from the time she logs on til she notices.
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps: MOM, BOB'S TOUCHING MY SIDE OF THE BANTER.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido twiddles his thumbs nervously.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: AM NOT!
<LHTF> Token Canine Kelwine divides the banter with a roll of tape.
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps: I SEEN IT.
<LHTF> JESUS CHRISTS IT'S A Deity of Choice shall keep everyone updated whenever his punishment occurs.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido shoves Beeps. “I DID NOT!”
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps: MOOOM, BOB'S PUSHING ME.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido flails at Beeps. “WHO ARE YOU CALLING MOM, ANYWAY.”
<LHTF> JESUS CHRISTS IT'S A Deity of Choice grabs both of them by their ears. “Both of you STOP IT! If you don't, I will turn this Banter right around!”
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido wails. NOT HIS EARS.
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps whiiiines.
<LHTF> JESUS CHRISTS IT'S A Deity of Choice pushes them together. “Now hug and apologize like good little boys.”
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido starts pouting. He gives D the pouty look.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido frowns at Beeps. And sticks his tongue out at him.
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps sulks.
Welcome Wagoneer Zolotisty suspiciously pokes her head into Radio Banter.
<LHTF> JESUS CHRISTS IT'S A Deity of Choice: Don't you give me that look. Do you want to go to the time out corner?
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido stares at D, then Beeps. Then up at a cloud. “...mmm...maybe.”
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: It's Beep's fault, Arthur. Actually, no, it's mine. Cause I suggested it to him yesterday.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido just wants to blame Beeps for something.
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps: It's true. BLAME BOB, I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS.
<LHTF> JESUS CHRISTS IT'S A Deity of Choice notes that nobody told him to do this and that the blame is fully his.
Welcome Wagoneer Zolotisty blinks. “T- time out corner! What! Me?”“
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido shoves Beeps. Just for good measure. their shoving isn't over yet, probably.
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps is let down.
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps is also pushed down.
<LHTF> JESUS CHRISTS IT'S A Deity of Choice stops his foot, shaking the whole Global Banter. “I told you all You!” points at Bob “Stop shoving. You!” points at Beeps “Take responsibility. You!” points at Z “Please don't kill me.”
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido thought they were in a car, D. He stops shoving, anyway.
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps: IT'S ALL MY FAULT.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: ONLY BECAUSE YOU STOLE MY COOKIES. I WAS SAVING THEM FOR THE RIDE!
Returning Contestant Refugee is not going to lie, he's hoping for a killing. It would be mighty entertaining. He just regrets missing out on the Adeline theatrics.
<LHTF> JESUS CHRISTS IT'S A Deity of Choice sharply turns the Global Banter's wheel , causing all the occupants to slide to the left.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido wanted to snack.
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps gets launched out the window.
Welcome Wagoneer Zolotisty edges over to Doc to give him a few pointers. “You're gonna wanna JESUS CHRIST WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING.”
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: Adel's shit wasn't needed yo.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido flails “JESUS CHRIST, THERE'S A LION IN THE CAR”
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido looks after Beeps “WOW THAT IS A HUGE WINDOW.”
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps: YOU'RE NOT A LION YOU'RE A SNOW LEOPARD YOU DAFT SOD.
<LHTF> JESUS CHRISTS IT'S A Deity of Choice screams as they head for a cliff. Another sharp turn, to the left this time, and now they're heading for a charging herd of buffalo. “AAAAAAAAH!”
Furry Little Nonnie puts on her seatbelt.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido looks down. “OH RIGHT. FORGOT.”
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps is hanging onto the side mirror.
Returning Contestant Refugee sighs. “If we survive this I'm going to throttle those two kids. Discretely.”
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido reaches out after Beeps “LIKE A GOOD NEIGHBOR, STATE FARM IS THERE!” NOTHING HAPPENS.
Welcome Wagoneer Zolotisty weeps passively while digging through the glove box for a user manual. Who knew everyone thought she'd failed bastard driver's ed. Who knew.
<LHTF> JESUS CHRISTS IT'S A Deity of Choice looks into the back seat. “WE HAVE ALLSTATE NOT STATE FARM!”
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido looks at D “I DON'T THINK WE'RE IN VERY GOOD HANDS RIGHT NOW!”
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps is assaulted with a complete collection of farm equipment. “OW OH GOD WHY PULL ME BACK IN”
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido tries to pull Beeps back in. A buffalo jumps in from Bob's side window.
Alpha of the Mass Chimental: Flying mounts are now available.
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps: 60 DK requirement
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido looks at the trunk, at Chimental. “HOW DID YOU EVEN GET HERE.”
Freelancer Optyk snuggles back!
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps: Also, check out the new area flying over the Island: The Upland.
<LHTF> JESUS CHRISTS IT'S A Deity of Choice screams turn into questioning Eh?s as the car sprouts wings and starts flying.
Returning Contestant Refugee is relieved to learn this! Now he can get from Darnassus to Steamwheedle without paying!
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps scrambles back in just in time to be assaulted by a buffalo. “This isn't much better!”
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: Are you sure we aren't just going to the land of the blobs?
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido kicks his feet at the buffalo “GO AWAY.”
Alpha of the Mass Chimental: Also, the Island is now in 4-D. Get close to your speakers and take a whiff. Should be able to detect smells like the Cafe and the sea. I wouldn't recommend that while in Squat Hole.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: whoa
<LHTF> JESUS CHRISTS IT'S A Deity of Choice is kicked in the back of the head. “Hey, watc- WHY IS THERE A BUFFALO IN THE CAR?! Oh, hello Faceless Leader.”
the late Late Arthur Dent would LOVE to see an Upland. After all, there is a leftover Air tile in the map thingy.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: LET'S GET THERE BY BEING IN A HOUSE WITH BALLOONS ON IT.
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps: HEY CMC HERE'S A PATCH FOR A THING WHAT BROKE A MONTH AGO
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido claps excitedly.
Welcome Wagoneer Zolotisty has found the instruction manual. She flips wildly through. LION MAINTENANCE, P. 89. CROCHET HOOLIGAN WRESTLING, P. 132. ADMIN TAMING, P. 4. Fuckwhereisit.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: It never helps when the pages aren't numbered in order.
Alpha of the Mass Chimental: Alright, I'll get to work on that. First I have to finish the next Stranger plot point. It's a musical number.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: Of horror and death?
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps: Try the chapter on teaching an old dog new tricks!
<LHTF> JESUS CHRISTS IT'S A Deity of Choice: Oh, does that mean I get to release the tap-dancing Titans?
Returning Contestant Refugee leans forward and whispers to Z, “If you're looking for the passenger-side ejection seat, that's not included in this model.” He smiles apologetically.
Welcome Wagoneer Zolotisty knows that one! S'got a chorus line about radiation poisoning!
Alpha of the Mass Chimental: Oh right, I almost forgot.Titans will now attack in packs. And can fly. Good luck with that.
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps clings to the buffalo. “YOU'RE MY ONLY HOPE, BUFFABRO.”
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: We could sing Puttin' on the Ritz with the Titans.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido videotapes Beeps and the Buffalo, then shoves the tape into a quirky little robot.
<LHTF> JESUS CHRISTS IT'S A Deity of Choice throws his hands into the air triumphantly, releasing the wheel. “Yes!” He grabs a cellphone and yells into it “GET ME BINGY!”
Welcome Wagoneer Zolotisty squawks, “GODDAMNIT,” and sullenly slaps the manual into Refugee's decidedly – unchanged – researcher – hands. “YOU'RE MY ONLY HOPE, SCIENCEMAN.”
<LHTF> Token Canine Kelwine launches at the Buffalo. Lunch!
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido latches into the ceiling of the car. “GEORGE! LOOK OUT FOR THE TREES!”
Welcome Wagoneer Zolotisty latches onto him. ”Fix it fucking fix it it's all gone pearshaped.“
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps: QUICK MAN, DO A SCIENCE
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: That's right. into.
<LHTF> JESUS CHRISTS IT'S A Deity of Choice looks back at Bob. “They'll do that one after Big Friends.”
<LHTF> JESUS CHRISTS IT'S A Deity of Choice turns back to the front. “What tre- OH GOD!”
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido stares at D. “KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD!”
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido shrieks like a wee lass.
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps attempts to fend Kelwine off of the buffalo. “NO HE'S MY FRIEND HIS NAME IS REGINALD”
<LHTF> JESUS CHRISTS IT'S A Deity of Choice calmly plucks his eyes out of his head and places them on the dash, then turns to the back. “Ok, now I can drive while yelling at you.”
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: HIS NAME IS NOT REGINALD, IT'S TEDDY JUNIOR.
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps: REGINALD IS A PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE NAME FOR A BUFFALO.
Returning Contestant Refugee looks at the manual. He looks at the clinging lady. IT'S ALL UP TO HIM. “I'm going to need 25 cc's of Robothroll, pliers, scalpel, tweezers, a sponge, plasma type O negative, and a hacksaw.”
Alpha of the Mass Chimental: Alright, have fun with the Flying Sausage mount. Oh, and something extra happens if you're a Robot while you have that mount.
Welcome Wagoneer Zolotisty wails, “DOC YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TELL THEM I CAN DOOOO THAAAT.”
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps: ...Wait a minute.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: That reminds me of Beetlejuice.
<LHTF> JESUS CHRISTS IT'S A Deity of Choice looks at the scienceman. “Good, we can get all those from CMC.”
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido thinks it doesn't really help when both he and Beeps are typing at the same time.
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps zooms out the window on the flying buffalo. “BUFFALO WINGS, YES. FLYING MOUNTS - BEST ADDITION.”
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: AHAHHA. LEMONS.
<LHTF> Token Canine Kelwine whines at Beeps. “But..it looks so tasty!”
<LHTF> JESUS CHRISTS IT'S A Deity of Choice sticks his head out of the window. The wrong window. His eyes are still on the dash. “GET BACK IN THIS CAR THIS INSTANT!”
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido digs up the lemons and begins threatening to burn houses down. His voice is autotuned, odd as that is.
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps: NO. REGINALD AND I ARE GOING ON AN ADVENTURE AND YOU CAN'T STOP US MOM.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: REGINALD ISN'T REALLY A BUFFALO!
Welcome Wagoneer Zolotisty polls people aggressively for their blood types. Be part of the solution. Not the precipitate – christ is it raining.
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps: YES I KNOW IT'S MR. STERN BUT I DON'T CARE.
<LHTF> JESUS CHRISTS IT'S A Deity of Choice says “LIKE HELL I CAN'T.” and turns the wheel towards the place where the voice is coming from.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido gets a SUPER SERIOUS SOAP OPERA LOOK on his , HE LIED TO YOU ABOUT THAT.”
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: HE'S... D'S MOTHER!
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: AND HE'S A PIGEON. HE HAD AN OPERATION
Returning Contestant Refugee clambers out onto the hood and starts making an incision into it with a scalpel. Engines are a lot like organs, right? He knows organs. This should be easy.
Welcome Wagoneer Zolotisty waits for Beeps to counter with a SUPER SERIOUS SOAP OPRAH LOOK.
<LHTF> JESUS CHRISTS IT'S A Deity of Choice sticks his hand into the backseat and flails it around, trying to shush Bob. “DON'T GIVE AWAY PLOT POINTS!”
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps: LOOK, I'M HIS SON FROM THE FUTURE SENT BACK AS A GHOST, I KNOW ALL THIS ALREADY, IT'S IN THE MANUAL UNDER 'TIME SHENANIGANS'
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido tries looking under his chair for a new car...
Analytical Buddleia obviously picked a hilarious time to look into Global Banter. But is absolutely not going to admit to being O+ if they're demanding blood to feed a car with.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido leans away from D “BUT I CAN'T HOLD IN MY SECRET ANYMORE!”
<LHTF> JESUS CHRISTS IT'S A Deity of Choice tries to calm Budd by yelling “NO, THE BLOOD IS FOR THE WALL.”
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps: BLOOD FOR THE BLOODBURETOR
<LHTF> Token Canine Kelwine: If I failed the blood test, does that mean I'm type F?
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: DO WE NEVER LOCK OUR CAR DOORS, MOM?
Welcome Wagoneer Z: Badum-chhh.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: THAT COULD BE A SAFETY HAZARD.
Returning Contestant Refugee finishes cutting a rectangular section out of the hood. He passes the metal wedge to his assistant, Z, and yells over the wind to her “Flashlight!”
<LHTF> Token Canine Kelwine sticks her head out the car window.
<LHTF> JESUS CHRISTS IT'S A Deity of Choice: THIS IS AN 87 Honda, THERE ARE NO LOCKS.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: ...SHIT!
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps begins the arduous task of trying to count how many windows and doors this thing has, because apparently it has a shitton.
<LHTF> JESUS CHRISTS IT'S A Deity of Choice pulls aside Beeps and leans out the window, trying to pull him back in. “GET BACK IN HERE THIS INSTANT!”
Returning Contestant Refugee doesn't consider that to be entirely accurate - specifically, it has 1.23 metric shittons of doors and windows. That is slightly more than a shitton.
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps' pantleg is caught by D. He shakes and flails, clinging to the flying Stern-Buffalo. “NEVER”
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido scrunches up against his side of the car. “MOOOOOMMMM, ARE WE THERE YET?”
Welcome Wagoneer Zolotisty fumbles. Flashlight!? Fuck! Where's – “Shit, shit, shit –” She scavenges around before seizing upon Doc, who had the bright idea in the first place. He's a shining example of a flashlight. OUT HE GOES.
Analytical Buddleia: Uh-oh. Is it like counting a cow's legs? Two on the left, two on the right, two at the front, two at the back, four on the underneath and one at each corner?
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido peeks over the passenger's side “DID YOU EVEN CHECK THE MAP? WHERE ARE WE GOING.”
<LHTF> JESUS CHRISTS IT'S A Deity of Choice rams the Stern- Buffalo. “GET IN HERE.”
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido flails at Beeps “BEEPS! THEY'RE TAKING US TO A THEME PARK.”
Citizen Crass: Oh, Banter... You just brighten my fucking day.
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps: I DON'T WANNA GO I WANTED TO SEE SHAMU.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido is clearly assuming this. And he gets overly excited and starts bouncing in the car.
<LHTF> JESUS CHRISTS IT'S A Deity of Choice: WHAT?! NO, WE'RE GOING TO THE DO- uh, yes, theme park, exactly right.
Returning Contestant Refugee looks up when he feels himself handed something and looks up to find it is a Deity of Choice. He clears his throat severely. “What is this? Is this my blood donor? It's too SOON for him, I need a flashlight. Try the glove box.”
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: The entire car begins bouncing and puttering like one of those old ones in the Micky Mouse cartoons.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido flails excitedly. “HOORAY. BEEPS LET'S GET CANDY.”
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps' eyes light up, blinking red and blue. Oh shit, the feds! “PULL THIS VEHICLE OVER THIS INSTANT.”
Welcome Wagoneer Zolotisty cringes. “Right! Um.” Glovebox. Glovebox. “EBENNNN?”
<LHTF> JESUS CHRISTS IT'S A Deity of Choice immediately slams on the breaks and pulls over. Into a mountain.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido stares at Beeps “NOOOO, STOP!” BUT HE WANTS TO RIDE RIDES. AND THROW A TANTRUM IN PUBLIC.
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps begins whacking the car with a billyclub.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido gets bonked on the head “STOPPAT!”
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps: NO YOU'RE RESISTING ARREST.
<LHTF> JESUS CHRISTS IT'S A Deity of Choice fumbles for his license while trying to grab his eyes off the dash. “I'M SORRY OFFICER, MY STUPID SON WAS JUST FLYING A BUFFALO THAT WASN'T A BUFFALO.”
Storybook Arodang tests.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido winces “BECAUSE YOU'RE HITTING ME!”
Storybook Arodang drives his big bad police hummer over the mountain. “GOD DAMNIT!”
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beepsharrumphs. “I would know.” He gives D a SUPER SERIOUS SOAP OPRAH LOOK. “I WAS THAT SON.”
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido gasps.
<LHTF> JESUS CHRISTS IT'S A Deity of Choice is still searching for his eyes, so he can't see the look. “WHAT?! GET BACK IN THE CAR!” He opens the door and tries to step out. And falls down the side of the mountain.
<LHTF> Token Canine Kelwine still has her head out the window. Why? Who knows.
<LHTF> JESUS CHRISTS IT'S A Deity of Choice whines “Ebennnnn help meeeee.”
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps: NO THERE'S A LION IN THERE I MEAN IT'S BOB AND HE'S TECHNICALLY A SNOW LEOPARD BUT IT'S THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS.
Ebenezer is summoned. “Whowhatwhat? Wherewhywhat?”
Welcome Wagoneer Zolotisty, half-concussed, is still searching for the glovebox.
Welcome Wagoneer Zolotisty found it! “I NEED A FLASHLIGHT.”
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido now understands why D kept the car around so long. The glovebox is alive.
Welcome Wagoneer Z: And magical.
Returning Contestant Refugee had to move up when half of the front end of the car was merged with the back half of the front end of the car, and is now calmly opening a new incision. “Nurse! Flashlight, and I need vitals on this patient!”
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido flails. IT'S LIKE THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS. EXCEPT LESS...BUSS-Y.
<LHTF> JESUS CHRISTS IT'S A Deity of Choice clings to the front tire of the car. “WILL SOMEBODY HELP ME?!”
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps: NOT UNTIL YOU APOLOGIZE TO REGINALD.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido peeks out the window “IT'S YOUR OWN FAULT, MA.”
Ebenezer: Don't look at me. I'm just a glovebox.
Returning Contestant Refugee hauls Doc onto the hood. “And YOU, stop almost dying, I need you for the infusion.”
<LHTF> JESUS CHRISTS IT'S A Deity of Choice says “LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER!” Doc garbles something unintelligible as he dives off the hood and dies. Cause he's an idiot.
<LHTF> Token Canine Kelwine: Alas, I knew him well.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido gasps. Again. He looks at the empty driver's seat. “Ruh-roh.”
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps: I didn't.
Returning Contestant Refugee utters a mild oath. “Nurse! Another donor!”
<LHTF> JESUS CHRISTS IT'S A Deity of Choice loses grip with one hand. “FLOPER SAVE ME DAMMIT!”
Welcome Wagoneer Zolotisty shakes the cheating glovebox. “CHRIST, WHAT ARE YOU GOOD FOR –” She whips around. Donor! Vitals. “36-28-36! SAT, 790 Verbal, 460 Quantitative! Ninety four metric fucktons! Uh, uh!” Flashlight?! She appeals to Kelwine.
Storybook Arodang drops onto the car from the heaves. “Nuuu!” He's now grandpa.
Storybook Arodang fell from the heavens. Like a good old man.
<LHTF> Token Canine Kelwine has no flashlight! Wait, maybe she does! Yes here's o–Oo, distractions.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido peers up and over at grandpa. “GRANDPA?! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE IN THE HOME!”
Returning Contestant Refugee starts bypassing main fuel lines and patching directly into the carboratur. IT'S JUST LIKE SURGERY, only with slightly less fluid.
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps wails. “DON'T WORRY MOM, I'LL AVENGE YOUR DEATH.” He begins assaulting Refugee with the billy club.
<LHTF> JESUS CHRISTS IT'S A Deity of Choice suddenly remembers “OH SHIT I LEFT THE WATER ON!”
Ebenezer eanghanghanghanghanghs! Dizzy. Confused! Good for nothing!
Welcome Wagoneer Zolotisty despairs. Then she begins fabricating a story. Mustn't disappoint Dr. Refugee. Otherwise she'll lose her insurance benefits. “WH- WHAT'S THAT KELWINE? HACCA FELL DOWN A WELL?”
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido inquires “Hey grandpa, can you drive?” NOOOO, BOB, NOOOOOOOO!
Welcome Wagoneer Zolotisty leans closer. “AND HE'S EATEN THE LAST FLASHLIGHT?”
Dizzyizzy says “Did you just call me good-for-nothing, Eben?” You'd be right, if you did.
<LHTF> Token Canine Kelwine nods enthusiastically! Yes! That's how it happened!
Returning Contestant Refugee is studying the car radio intently, having yanked it out. “It sounds like you'll need to fetch him out so I can cut him open and retrieve it.”
Storybook Arodang blinks at Bob. “Gneeuh, what's that missy? Can I pie?”
<LHTF> THE QUASI-MODLY GHOST OF Deity of Choice floats back up to the car, now an angel. “Boys... HOW COULD YOU LET ME DIE?! YOU TWO ARE THE WORST CHILDREN EVER! I SHOULD SELL YOU TO MIKE FOR THIS!”
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido frowns deeply “Grandpa, did'joo fergit your hearing aid again?”
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: It is. It's all Beeps' fault for taking me up on that offer.
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps apparently sucks at hitting his target with the billy club.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido stares a D “I STAYED IN THE CAR, LIKE YOU SAID, MA.”
Ebenezer is... so confused right now. Welcome Wagoneer Zolotisty snatches Eben. “Justgivemesomethingthatlookslikeaflashligh t.”
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: Eben, yesterday I mentioned something to Beeps about us copying each other to confuse people. Annnd he suddenly took me up on it, and then THIS happened.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: I haven't changed anything because it makes it super confusing.
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps does the logical thing, and turns on the heat-seeking tactical features of the billy club. It flies out of his hand and jams itself into the engine something awful.
<LHTF> THE QUASI-MODLY GHOST OF Deity of Choice: This is what happens WHEN YOU GIVE BEEPS AN IDEA!
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido flails at Doc “IT WAS ONLY CAUSE WE TALK IN THE SAME COLOR. IT WAS A JOOOOKE!”
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps: The only thing worse than giving me an idea is telling me it can't be done!
Welcome Wagoneer Zolotisty reckons it's better than it jamming in something reddit or mefi.
<LHTF> THE QUASI-MODLY GHOST OF Deity of Choice yays! He's got his own fancy shmancy title!
Returning Contestant Refugee silently takes the billy club out, breaks it into tiny pieces, and throws them off the mountain. He is a professional, please, stay out of his way.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: oh right. I did kind of double-dare you into doing the icee thing.
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps finally lands Reginald, the VTOL flying Mr. Stern Buffalo. Parking him in the trunk, he tries to crawl through the back seat to get back in.
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps: Yes you did.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: Yours makes me think of “Lice-y”
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps: Obviously I'm a ripoff of PCEE.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido shrieks at Beeps “YOU KILLED MOM.”
<LHTF> THE QUASI-MODLY GHOST OF Deity of Choice climbs into the driver's seat and starts the car with his newfound powers. “OK... WHO WANTS TO GO TO SIX FLAGS?!”
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps: SHE DID IT TO HERSELF.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido shoves his head forward “I DO I DO.”
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps points at Refugee. “JUST ASK THE DOCTOR, HE'LL TELL YOU.”
Haccadine sticks his head in to admonish. “No-no cut-cutting anybody open, please!” He wags a finger at Refugee.
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps: WHOO SIX FLAGS.
Returning Contestant Refugee scowls at Haccadine. “Are YOU the one who swallowed the flashlight? I suggest you start vomitting. Immediately, if not sooner.”
<LHTF> Token Canine Kelwine does!
<LHTF> THE QUASI-MODLY GHOST OF Deity of Choice says “OK!” and slams on the accelerator, going straight through the mountain. Wheeeeee!
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: WE NEED TO GET THAT OLD GUY. AND THE PARTYBUS.
Ebenezer has no flashlight. He does have a very shiny penny. Will that work?
Ebenezer boggles. “If he's me... then who am I?”
Welcome Wagoneer Zolotisty latches onto Haccadine.
Haccadine enghs!
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps is ever so glad he closed the trunk so as not to scratch his shiny new Buffalo.
<LHTF> THE QUASI-MODLY GHOST OF Deity of Choice: The bald guy with the glasses pops out from under Bob's seat. “More flags, more fun!”
Returning Contestant Refugee latches onto the hood. All this excitement is doing a number on his patient!
<LHTF> Token Canine Kelwine BARKBARKS at the bald guy.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido jumps. He grabs the old guy and...somehow manages to stand up and dance with him.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido's head is probably shoved through the roof. Makeshift sunroof!
Dollmaker Aalis Mothball blinks. ...And GAH. SO MANY DOPPELGANGERS.
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps has no goddamn idea how tall this car is, but apparently it's got a lofted ceiling or some shit.
Welcome Wagoneer Z: And flying buttresses, aren't they lovely.
<LHTF> THE QUASI-MODLY GHOST OF Deity of Choice turns to the back. “STOP THAT ROUGH-HOUSING OR I WILL TURN THIS BANTER AROUND!” Oh god, they've come full circle!
Freelancer Optyk's narrator winces. Ooooooohhhhh, DAMN, Nonnie! Low blow!
Furry Little Nonnie oh ho hos at Optyk. Damn straight!
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps: BUT MOOOM BOB WAS TOUCHING MY SIDE OF THE BANTER.
Citizen Crass sez “MEBBE IT'S A CONVERTIBLE”
Welcome Wagoneer Zolotisty enquires of Haccadine, “Have you a flashlight, sir.”
Disconcertingly Decisive Disestablishmentarianism: Banter is full today
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps: Well, more he was dancing on it but THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido hisses “I WAS NOT.” He grabs Crass in the car and dances with him too. ...Those shocks have GOT to be on the verge of dying.
Returning Contestant Refugee scowls. If he doesn't stabilize this patient, they will all be thrown backwards in time. He refuses to allow that to happen, even if he has to cut open a thousand Haccadines!
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps: EAVY.
<LHTF> THE QUASI-MODLY GHOST OF Deity of Choice thumps Dis and she wobbles like she's dancing. She's a bobbing hula girl thing! “THAT'S IT! NO ICE CREAM!”
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido wants to go to 1955 and “GREAT SCOTT”
Haccadine adjusts his glasses. “I did, b-but then I ate it!”
Welcome Wagoneer Zolotisty freezes. “WAIT. HOLD UP. WHAT. 'MOM?' EITHER DOC'S BIRTHED BEEPS AND BOB, OR I HAVE, AND – BUT. THEN WHO F- FATH..” She gazes 'round between the Ebenezagangers. Oh, balls. Balls.
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps: YOU TOTALL DID I SAW YOU AND SO DID REGINALD.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE DAD.
Citizen Crass says “B
Welcome Wagoneer Zolotisty enters a serious existential crisis.
Storybook Arodang: Gnueeerwhat? Shtop callin' me dahd, missey!
Citizen Crass says “BUT WE DUNNA HAVE A FLUX CAPACITOR”
<LHTF> THE QUASI-MODLY GHOST OF Deity of Choice: No, YOU WERE ALL ADOPTED!
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido blinks. uh oh. the SOAP OPERA FACE comes BACK. “Are...are we? ARE WE ADOPTED???”
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD
Welcome Wagoneer Z: It comes replete with wobbly FX and a theme song.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: OH MAN OH GOD OH MAN OH GOD OH MAN OH GOD
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps: I ALREADY TOLD YOU REGINALD IS MY DAD.
Contender Floper the Third attacts the moldy Doc with NOMMMMMM
Storybook Arodang thunks Bob with his walking cane. “Back in my day we were adopted and we liked it!
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido rubs his nose “OWWW GRANDPA!”
Honesty steps in, frowning at both Ebenezers. “JUST WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING.”
Returning Contestant Refugee grabs Haccadine and pushes him down across the hood. He readies his scalpel and begins cutting like mad. Such cutting! Someone obviously played a lot of that doctor game for the wii!
<LHTF> THE QUASI-MODLY GHOST OF Deity of Choice tries to grab the cane from Grandpa Aro. “DAD, GIMME THAT CANE RIGHT NOW OR YOU WON'T GET YOUR PRUNE JUICE.”
<LHTF> Token Canine Kelwine is free from being the mother, hoorah. Because BIOLOGY DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY.
Ebenezer honestly has no idea what he's doing.
Storybook Arodang is about to swing his cane again when - “What'd you say? Who are you? You aren't my nurse!”
Welcome Wagoneer Zolotisty takes to drink.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: In a soap, it MIGHT, kel.
Haccadine's eyes spring wide in shock! “Zol-zol-zolotisty! HELP!”
<LHTF> Token Canine Kelwine whines.
Welcome Wagoneer Zolotisty waves the bottle dismissively. “GEDDA MOD, MODPANTS.”
Returning Contestant Refugee growls, “Quiet, you! I don't have enough sedative to spare! I'll sow you up later now STOP SQUIRMING!”
Welcome Wagoneer Zolotisty hollers, “I GOT CHILREN TO THINGABOUD.”
Citizen Crass nods at Z. “Way ahead of you.”
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps: KELWINE. TAKE MY HAND. I'LL TAKE YOU AWAY FROM ALL THIS. WE'LL MOVE TO THE PAST, AND EVERY SUMMER WE CAN WATCH THE END OF THE UNIVERSE.
Honesty wanders over to inspect Refugee's job. “Can I have his brain?”
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido starts gnawing the back of one of the front seats.
<LHTF> Token Canine Kelwine takes Beeps up on the offer!
<LHTF> THE QUASI-MODLY GHOST OF Deity of Choice grabs Beeps by the scruff of the neck. “Oh no you don't mister! You've got chores to do!”
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps: BUT MOOOOOOM
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido points and laughs at his brother.
Haccadine makes a quiet little noise of terror in the back of his throat and goes very, very still. He shoots pleading eyes in Ebenezer's direction.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: I DID ALL MINE ALREADY
Returning Contestant Refugee yells, starting to lose his temper: “NO ONE IS GOING TO THE BLOODY PAST! And you can't have his brain if he survives, which he should, albeit in considerable agony.” He fishes around in Hacca's intestines.
Citizen Crass tssshks “BOB, I AM YOUR FATHER. JOIN ME AND TOGETHER WE CAN RULE THE UNIVERSE AS FATHER AND BIG FLUFFY CATBOB.”
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido stares at Crass. Then? He thinks about it. Instead of refusing... “OKAY DAD, THAT SOUNDS LIKE IT'D BE KINDA FUN! LET'S DO IT!”
Honesty bends over, sticking her hand in to pull out Haccadine's spleen. “Toasted spleen, Ebenezer two?” she offers, holding it up for him to see.
<LHTF> THE QUASI-MODLY GHOST OF Deity of Choice: NO BUTTS! You can take your girlfriend to the prom some other millenium.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: AS LONG AS WE CAN PLAY CATCH. I WANNA CATCH UP ON ALL THE YEARS I'VE BEEN AWAY FROM YOU.
Returning Contestant Refugee snatches the spleen away, scowling. “Stop that. I'm trying to work. Ah-ha. NURSE! I need surgical thread, NOW!”
Haccadine can't stop himself from snapping, “You put-put that back! Stop– stop touching everything!”
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps: MAN CAN I GET IN ON THAT REGINALD IS KIND OF A SHITTY FATHER GIVEN THE WHOLE BEING A BUFFALO THING. ALSO CAN I TAKE KELWINE TO THE PAST?
Welcome Wagoneer Zolotisty snuffles and watches the operation. ”'IMME A KIDNEY OR SOMMA, C'N PAWNID F'R CHIL'SPORT.”
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: NO BEEPS. YOU PUSHED ME.
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps: PFF YOU PUSHED FIRST.
Returning Contestant Refugee grabs Z and slaps her stoutly. “Pull yourself together nurse! Surgical. Thread. AND NO ONE CAN GO BACK IN TIME.”
<LHTF> THE QUASI-MODLY GHOST OF Deity of Choice says “BOB STOP BEING A BULLY AND TAKE YOUR HALF BROTHER TO RULE THE UNIVERSE.”
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: DID NOT!
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: BUT HE BULLIES ME EVERY DAAAAY.
Citizen Crass puts on his Vader mask and catcher's mitt, and lobs a softball to Bob.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido sniffles.
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps: I'M NOT THE ONE WHO'S A 20 FT TALL CATBOB.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido gets a softball to the face.
<LHTF> THE QUASI-MODLY GHOST OF Deity of Choice: And the universe is a big place. There's plenty of room for both of you without being on the other's side.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: REALLY CAUSE. YA LOOK THE SAME HEIGHT TO ME.
Welcome Wagoneer Zolotisty reels. Slapped! Christ! Did you see that? Did you see that. WHERE'S HER BANH– ohright, Doc's got it. She moodily has a rummage through her pockets before turning up a spool of sterilized, zip-packed surgical thread.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: Annnd then he goes to change his mouseover.
Honesty sighs as the spleen is removed from her hands. “Oh well. She reaches for something else. Touchytouchytouchytouchy. “Goodness. What soft skin you have.” From the inside.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: DON'T DO IT BEEPS, YOU'LL BREAK WHAT WE'VE STARTED.
Contender Floper the Third eats the banhammer
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps: NO I'M NINETEEN FEET AND TWELVE INCHES.
Returning Contestant Refugee snatches it. “Excellent work, nurse. And...” he winces, embarassed for her. “lay off the sauce. Think of your kids, and what a destructive influence it is on them.” He chases Honesty off - “Bloody vultures!” and starts sewing Hacca up.
<LHTF> THE QUASI-MODLY GHOST OF Deity of Choice says “THAT'S THE SAME BLOODY THING!”
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: BLUH!
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps: NUH.
<LHTF> Token Canine Kelwine noses through the glovebox. BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT SHE DOES.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: THAT'S LIKE SAYING YOU'RE THIRTY-TWO AND A YEAR ADDED OLD.
Ebenezer: Oi! Stop going through my pockets!
<LHTF> THE QUASI-MODLY GHOST OF Deity of Choice says “GUH!”
Ebenezer is pretty sure he's still the glovebox.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: PLUH
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps: WELL IT BEATS SAYING YOU'RE FORTY FOR TEN YEARS.
<LHTF> THE QUASI-MODLY GHOST OF Deity of Choice: And I said PLUUUUUUUH!
<LHTF> Token Canine Kelwine WILL NOT! There might be treats in there.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido:
Welcome Wagoneer Zolotisty gazes at the bottle of Worcestershire. “Scienceman..” she says slowly, with an air of dawning revelation. She wrists off her mouth. “You know. You're right.” She casts the bottle away dramatically.
Honesty stamps a foot. “But I want to make gloves out of his skin!”
Haccadine sneers. “C-can't!”
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido gets out of the car and runs after Crass. Hugging your dad is good and all, but not when you're more than twice his size.
Citizen Crass: I'm gonna say that i'm 40 for 13 years. Until I actually turn 40. People will be all 'Woah, shit, you look good for 40.
<LHTF> THE QUASI-MODLY GHOST OF Deity of Choice is dead. And he looks damn good for dead.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: WIN WIN
Returning Contestant Refugee scowls some more. “Fine, but only if he dies.” Finishes sewing up and throws Hacca off the car into the abyss below. He turns the flashlight on. It works! Time to surgeon up this car.
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps is still determined to ride off into the sunset with his faithful <LHTF> Token Canine.
DUH-DUH-DUH-DUHHHHHH, DUH-DUH-DUHHHHH
Storybook Arodang is in his nursing home. Rocking in his rocking chair. And eating APPLE PIE. With ICE CREAM. Old people get all the good snacks.
Honesty nods. “Okay.” She scrambles over to the edge of the abyss and peers. “ARE YOU DEAD?”
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: COVER YOUR HEART, BEEPS!
<LHTF> Token Canine Kelwine reckons it would taste like CARDBOARD. And not the GOOD kind of CARDBOARD either.
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps: WHAT WHY
Storybook Arodang doesn't have tastebuds in his old age, so it doesn't matter! HAH! Take that, society. Or Kelwine. Either or.
<LHTF> THE QUASI-MODLY GHOST OF Deity of Choice hits the brakes. “ALRIGHT, WE'RE HERE!” Here seems to be the sewage treatment plant.
Welcome Wagoneer Z: The bottle was a grenade. Shit.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido silently points at the SPOOKY GUY yelling KALI MAAAHHHHH.
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps: YAY I WANT TO GO ON THE WATER SL- Wait, no I don't that looks icky.
Welcome Wagoneer Zolotisy recognizes this and dives to take the brunt of the blast, lest Scienceman NEVER FIX THIS SHIT.
Storybook Arodang looks out his window. “WAHT TAH BLOODEH ELL ARE DOSE KIDS DOIN IN MAH NURSIN OME?!”
Haccadine calls back, “Erm– I think so!”
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: BEEPS COME WITH DAD. HE LETS YOU BLOW UP PLANETS!
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps: OH SHIT YES.
Welcome Wagoneer Z: A t goes flying by, along with some other miscellaneous disguised modbits.
<LHTF> THE QUASI-MODLY GHOST OF Deity of Choice tips the car on its side and dumps everybody out. “GO HAVE FUN OR ELSE!”
Citizen Crass squeaks “INDIE I LOVE YOU”
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps: WAIT COLLECT THOSE SHARDS WE MAY NEED THEM FOR THE GREAT CONJUNCTION TO PUT THE MODS BACK TOGETHER.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido waits for Beeps to smack Crass. HE DOENS'T LOVE WHEN HE'S POSSESSED.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: LIKE THE TRIFORCE, RIGHT.
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps: NO LIKE THE DARK CRYSTAL YOU FOOL
<LHTF> Token Canine Kelwine jumps to catch the t in mid air!
Returning Contestant Refugee starts digging around in earnest, rerouting things and such. He'll tape the mod back together later, using Eben for spare parts if he must. “I need a plasma transfusion, O negative, stat!”
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido grabs a Why and holds it up. “HEART!” GO PLANET!
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido looks over “A WHAT?”
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps: MAN WHERE WERE YOU WHEN THEY WERE HANDING OUT THE NINETIES.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: I WAS BLOWING UP A PLANET, SORRY
<LHTF> THE QUASI-MODLY GHOST OF Deity of Choice breaks open the sewage plant's major pipe, spilling liquified waste everywhere. “AHAHAHAHAHA!”
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps: WATCH OUT IT'S THE TOXIC AVENGER-MOM-ANGEL.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido looks at Doc, then the sewage “Ewwww.”
Citizen Crass notes that this land was green and good, until the Crystal cracked.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido tries aiming the Why at Doc. “HALP.”
<LHTF> THE QUASI-MODLY GHOST OF Deity of Choice grabs a mop and chases Bob and Beeps. “GRRRRAAAAAAH!'
Returning Contestant Refugee drags Eben over and sticks a rubber tube in his arm. “You've been drafted, donor.” Mmmm. Bleeeewd.
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps: OH GOD I'M SORRY MOM.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido squeals like a LITTLE GIRL. He throws the Why at Doc and runs away.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: SHE'S NOT OUR MOM, SHE'S EEEEVIL
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: DAD! DADDDDD. DAD HELP US
<LHTF> THE QUASI-MODLY GHOST OF Deity of Choice continues chasing them as the Why goes right through him. Cause he's a ghost.
<LHTF> THE QUASI-MODLY GHOST OF Deity of Choice says “DO NOT CALL YOUR MOTHER EVIL!”
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: BUT YOU ARE!
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: AND YOU'RE NOT MY MUM
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps: If you start screaming about wire coat hangers I'm calling the cops.
Citizen Crass jumps in his Tie Fighter and chases after DoC
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: SHE'S CHASING US WITH SEWAGE, SHOULDN'T WE BE ALREADY?
<LHTF> THE QUASI-MODLY GHOST OF Deity of Choice starts spanking them with the mop. “IT DOESN'T MATTER, I'VE TAKEN CARE OF YOU FOR THE LAST FIVE YEARS!”
Honesty scrambles further towards the abyss. “WELL COME BACK UP HERE SO I CAN MAKE A NICE PAIR OF GLOVES OUT OF YOUR SKIN, YOU FOOL.”
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps wails.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido apparently got caught. “DAAAAAAAD, HELP!”
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido cries.
Storybook Arodang cackles and hands Doc the heavy metal spatula.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: NOOOO, OLD PEOPLE TORTURE
Citizen Crass bounces up and down on the seat. Unfortunately, his Midget-sith legs won't reach the pedals.
THE QUASI-MODLY GHOST OF Deity of takes the spatula. “THANKS DAD.”
<LHTF> Token Canine Kelwine snags the spatula and rocks out to Iron Chef.
Returning Contestant Refugee resorts to that most ancient and noble of surgery traditions - kicking the patient until it restarts.
<LHTF> THE QUASI-MODLY GHOST OF Deity of Choice chases the dog with the mop. “BAD DOG GIVE THAT BACK!”
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido looks after Kel, and chases. Clearly she knows where to go. “C'MON BRO! KEL WILL SAVE US, AND TIMMY.”
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps: SWEET FREEDOM.
Contender Floper the Third flails at everyone
<LHTF> Token Canine Kelwine is going to bury it! A long with all those socks that you leave around that mysteriously vanish shortly after! YEAH, SHE'S BEHIND THAT.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: My cat actually will steal dirty socks to play with.
<LHTF> THE QUASI-MODLY GHOST OF Deity of Choice trips in the sewage and drowns. Apparently ghosts can drown. As long as it's in sewage.
Citizen Crass flails about with a flashlight... “GODDAMN CHEAP TAIWANESE LIGHTSABERS!”
Contender Floper the Third pelts Crass with boooooooze
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: AHAHAHHA
Returning Contestant Refugee pulls the tube out of Eben's arm and bandages it. He hands Eben a cookie and kicks him lose. Okay. That should stabilize it. “Someone inside read me off the stats!”
<LHTF> THE QUASI-MODLY GHOST OF Deity of Choice says “HOLY CRAP GB IS HUGE!”
Haccadine's head appears over the edge of the precipice. He appears to have lost his glasses and bowtie somewhere along the climb back up; one stick-on muttonchop hangs loose. “Gerrout of it,” he mutters.
Citizen Crass consumes the incoming booze through FUCKING OSMOSIS
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: I agree, GameBoys, back in the day, were really big.
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps checks the character sheet. “LEVEL 6, 16 INT, 12 AGI, 9 CON, 9 STR, 15 WIS.”
Honesty sighs and pulls the hanging muttonchop off. “I was hoping you'd be dead,” she says, rebuke in her tone.
<LHTF> THE QUASI-MODLY GHOST OF Deity of Choice says “IT JUST KEEPS GROWING!”
<LHTF> Token Canine Kelwine is still running when she gets pegged in the face with a GameBoy. The old one. The big grey bricks. THIS IS YOUR FAULT.
<LHTF> Token Canine Kelwine is NOT running now.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido runs another way.
<LHTF> THE QUASI-MODLY GHOST OF Deity of Choice is doubly dead and drownded. He can't spank the bad doggie.
Contender Floper the Third: I need you lot to cheer me on! I'm level 14 on a rank 5 run!
Storybook Arodang is running. At a whopping -.75 mph. Go old man, go!
Haccadine grunts and swings a leg over onto dry land. “Feel-feel like I m-might be.” He blinks. “Oh, b-bollocks.“
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps has only one solution. He picks up Kelwine and wields her as a weapon. “STAND BACK. I'VE GOT A DOG.”
Honesty frowns. ”Feels like does not mean you are,” she says. She leans down, kisses him soundly and then shoves him back off the cliff. “Come back when you're dead!”
<LHTF> THE QUASI-MODLY GHOST OF Deity of Choice calls from the after-afterlife “PUT THAT DOG DOWN YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE IT'S BEEN. IT MIGHT HAVE DISEASES.”
Haccadine falls in stunned silence for a very, very long time indeed.
Citizen Crass wails “AWFUCK GIT DOWN IT MIGHT BE RABID OH FUCK IS IT RABID?”
Storybook Arodang really doesn't want to know what kind of diseases Kel has.
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps: YEAH YOU WANNA FIND OUT, COME BACK OUT HERE AND I'LL SHOW YOU.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: RABIES.
Returning Contestant Refugee curses and goes to read them off himself, leaning through the busted windshield and fiddling with the car's interior by holding tweezers and scalpels between his toes.
<LHTF> Token Canine Kelwine does not have diseases! That's just shaving cream!
Honesty has no idea how deep the abyss goes. She begins throwing little pebbles down to judge by the sound of them falling. “HAVE YOU REACHED THE BOTTOM YET.”
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps wiggles Kelwine a bit. “Quick, use your atomic breath attack.”
<LHTF> THE QUASI-MODLY GHOST OF Deity of Choice gives up and goes to heaven. When did heaven get stalagmites? And why is the heat cranked all the way up? OH GOD HE'S NOT IN HEAVEN HE'S IN... MEXICO.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: where all the old people have to go.
Haccadine whumphs.
<LHTF> Token Canine Kelwine huffs in the general aiming direction. Dog breath should take care of the rest.
Honesty beams at the distant sound of something breaking. “AND ARE YOU DEAD?”
A to Z dazedly latches onto Haccadine's foot. How'd she get down at the bottom of that abyss?! “Kde je granát?”
<LHTF> THE QUASI-MODLY GHOST OF Deity of Choice mutters “At least it's not Florida...
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido: OI. OIIIII.
A to Z hears Honesty. “Ztratil jsem lasice!”
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido grabs Doic by the scruff and drags her to a nursing home in Fleur-EE-duh.
<LHTF> THE QUASI-MODLY GHOST OF Deity of Choice cackles evi- ahem motherly.
Citizen Crass is jealous of DoC. “LUCKY! You coulda died and gone to CANADA!”
Honesty hears someone else talking down there. “ARE YOU HE DEAD? I CAN'T MAKE HIM INTO GLOVES TIL HE'S DEAD, YOU SEE. DOCTOR'S ORDERS.”
Haccadine groans. “No. Give it another fu-fuckin' try, why don't you.”
<LHTF> THE QUASI-MODLY GHOST OF Deity of Choice cries “NOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps shouts down the cliff, “WATCH OUT, IT'S GOT AN ACUTE.” He attempts to prime Kelwine for another blast.
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido thinks it's obtuse.
Honesty sighs. “Why are you so impossible to kill. Why am I so impossible to kill. Do I have to come down there and break your fingers.”
A to Z hollers back, “KDO SNEDL POSLEDNI KOUSEK MOSAMBIKU!”
<LHTF> Token Canine Kelwine wheezes.
<LHTF> THE QUASI-MODLY GHOST OF Deity of Choice's yells die down as pudding is shoved in his face.
Honesty hesitates. “FISHCAKES ARE IMPORTANT?” she attempts. And then- “CAN YOU BRING HIM BACK UP? I NEED TO PUSH HIM BACK DOWN AGAIN.”
<lCEE> Cold Cat Bob Beeps: Out of ammo?
<ICEE> Cold Cat Bob Zarido climbs into the tie-fighter with Crass and sits down in the back. He's gonna go sleepies now maybe.
<LHTF> Token Canine Kelwine is probably just out of breath.
A to Z thinks about that for a moment before calling up, “Jsem bez prsty!”
<LHTF> THE QUASI-MODLY GHOST OF Deity of Choice pouts, restrained in his wheelchair. It's nap time.