The Old Improbable Island Wiki

Nuke:

There is no contestant named Nuke¹⁾²⁾.³⁾⁴⁾⁵⁾⁶⁾⁷⁾⁸⁾⁹⁾

¹⁾

actually that's probably absolutely true.

²⁾

It's not “Nuke”. It's “Mister Nuke”

³⁾

Knight Mister Nuke, actually.

⁴⁾

shouldn't that be mister sir Nuke, then? or sir mister Nuke. . . something like that.

⁵⁾

I HAVE A SWORD, AND AM GONNA KNIGHT SOMEBODY

⁶⁾

For a contestant that doesn't exist, he sure is getting alot of attention.

⁷⁾

The popular misconceptions held by many are that Contestant Sir Mister Nuke does not exist and by many others that he does exist. The truth of the matter is that Contestant Sir Mister Nuke is in fact a quantum particle, and as such exists, but ceases to exist while he is observed.

⁸⁾

So it's alright to glomp/ hit/ drop things on him provided you close your eyes?

⁹⁾

Don't look at him or listen to him. Listening is a form of observation. Remember this and yes, you may glomp/hit/bombard him as much as you like. If you still listen to him, though, you may fall and hurt your nose when he ceases to be.