The Old Improbable Island Wiki

A person who possesses a core belief set revolving around the values of peace and love as being essential in an increasingly globalized society; often associated with non-violence and anti-governmental groups. In short, hippies must be pummeled on sight, and it's your job to do the pummeling.¹⁾

Hippies are often associated with drug use, particularly marijuana and hallucinogens, but this is a lie.²⁾ Many rock bands, poets, artists, and writers from the 1960's to today have associated with this movement, most prominently Ken Kesey, The Grateful Dead, Bob Dylan, Janis Joplin, and The Screaming SpiderKitties.

Rumor has it, the Dag at the Prancing Spiderkitty is offering a substantial bounty for every hippie hide brought to his table.³⁾

¹⁾

This is not only satisfying a deep emotional levels - for you anyway - it also makes for darned good television. And remember: The Island is one big reality television show.

²⁾

Sure, hippies smell funny, but that's not because they do drugs. It's because they don't understand how soap works. They often try to cover that up with incense, but incense just adds another layer of stink.

³⁾

But, uhm, you might want to hose it down first. That stink is contagious - and you don't want someone mistaking you for a hippie too, do you? Trust me on this one.