BODY. PART ONE
(1d22h) <CDAG> Uncle Bernard arrives in Pleasantville, carrying his portable cassette recorder, and a tape of Yakkety Sax. ..
(1d22h) <CDAG> Warrant Officer Giuseppe Lorenzo steps in with a hard look set on his face.
(1d22h) <CDAG> Uncle Bernard waves GL over, “I'm over here, Dr Paprika is going to let me plug into his vat of body fat to power the cassette recorder. Did you bring everything?”
(1d22h) <CDAG> Warrant Officer Giuseppe Lorenzo nods grimly. “Indeed I did.”
(1d22h) <CDAG> Uncle Bernard grins at GL, “Why the long face, Giuseppe? This should be fun. I've never met him, you know. Not face to face, anyway…”
(1d22h) <CDAG> Warrant Officer Giuseppe Lorenzo smiles wanly as he sets up his supplies. The circle goes first.
(1d22h) <CDAG> Uncle Bernard is beavering away plugging in some serious looking wires into a biohazard stickered metal drum. Once it's in, it starts to spark. And the tune begins to wail away into the crisp Pleasantville evening
(1d22h) <CDAG> Warrant Officer Giuseppe Lorenzo then arranges many hundreds of candles at various altitudes. They float in the air menacingly.
(1d22h) <CDAG> Uncle Bernard starts to mime Benny Hill being chased by a bevy of buxom beauties, with a moronic look on his face. He's enjoying this.. ..
(1d22h) <CDAG> Warrant Officer Giuseppe Lorenzo brings together the many particles that were collected from the various outposts into a small pile in the center of the circle. followed by the skeleton nicked from Paprika.
(1d22h) <CDAG> Uncle Bernard stops dead and brings two fingers to his forehead in a mum of the scout salute. “Come on Giuseppe, it's getting nippy out here, let's get back for a glass of sherry!”
(1d22h) <CDAG> Warrant Officer Giuseppe Lorenzo begins the chants, singing in a language never heard in over 1000 years. “Just step into the circle, sir, and we'll begin”
(1d22h) <CDAG> Uncle Bernard wasn't paying attention and sort of shuffles into the chalk circle, he's looking around, staring off into space, humming der der der der der der diddle diddle der der.. .
(1d22h) <CDAG> Warrant Officer Giuseppe Lorenzo smiles as the chants continue. He is no longer singing; the chants are coming from the air. Bernard begins to dissolve, all the while the other ingredients spin around him.
(1d22h) <CDAG> Warrant Officer Giuseppe Lorenzo turns his head as a bright flash fills the square with magnesium white light.
(1d22h) <CDAG> Warrant Officer Giuseppe Lorenzo nearly screams when the light fades. “Sir? Sir? Bernard?!”
(1d22h) <CDAG> The disembodied voice of Bernard comes eerily from the cassette recorder, “GL, what happened? Where am I? What's going on?”
(1d22h) <CDAG> Warrant Officer Giuseppe Lorenzo laughs nervously. “Well sir, it seems that you have become a tape recorder.”
(1d22h) There's a ghostly light emanating from within the circle, well.. . We say circle.. . It's not quite a circle, is it? Well, not a complete one. ..
(1d22h) fog envelopes the square, and there's a groan from deep within it.. .
(1d22h) <CDAG> Warrant Officer Giuseppe Lorenzo chants along with the ethereal voices.
(1d22h) <CDAG> The disembodied voice of Bernard keeps coming from within the cassette recorder, “ I'm not a bloody tape recorder you dolt. .. Where am I? It all looks pretty.. . Well. .. I don't know. .. Where is everyone?”
(1d22h) <CDAG> Warrant Officer Giuseppe Lorenzo looks absolutely horrified. “I think I botched it up a bit. Here's a mirror.”
(1d22h) the groans raise in pitch and intensity, SUDDENLY, a hand, bloated and decaying grabs Lorenzo's shoulder.. .
(1d22h) <CDAG> The disembodied voice of Bernard sounds exasperated, “LORENZO! Stop arsing around with that flipping zombie and sort out what you've done you big lummox! What have you done with my body?!”
(1d22h) <CDAG> Warrant Officer Giuseppe Lorenzo laughs nervously. “Well, in order to summon Benny, I had to use your body to provide the life force. At least Benny's here!”
(1d21h) Yes indeed, Benny's here, and biting into Lorenzo's shoulder. He doesn't look too well, but that's what over a hundred years in a grave will do for a bloke. ..
(1d21h) <CDAG> Warrant Officer Giuseppe Lorenzo screetches and knocks the zombie backwards. “Here's a brain right here! Eat this, not me!”
(1d21h) <CDAG> The disembodied voice of Bernard is giving Lorenzo as much gip as the decaying animated corpse of Benny Hill, “You're going to pay for this you daft sod! I'll stick my boot so far up your arse, you'll have my toes for teeth!”
(1d21h) <CDAG> Warrant Officer Giuseppe Lorenzo sighs. “Just use Benny as a host for now, okay?” It wasn't supposed to have gone like this.. .
(1d21h) <CDAG> The disembodied voice of Bernard screeches, “JUST USE BENNY HILL'S DECAYING BODY AS A HOST? JUST HOW THE DIDDLY SHIT AM I MEANT TO DO THAT?”
(1d21h) <DICE> Iridescent Third Sicpuess is currently making discoveries elsewhere, and would be extraordinarily interested in the happening. (Correlation?) (Correlation) (What's going on?) (Correlation)
(1d21h) <CDAG> Warrant Officer Giuseppe Lorenzo grabs the tape recorder and shoves it into the Zombie's head. It just keeps moving towards him. ..
(1d21h) <CDAG> The disembodied voice of Bernard isn't emanating from the tape recorder after all, but from one of Lorenzo's pockets, “If you think for one second you'll be sleeping until I'm back in my beautiful body, you're wrong, son.”
(1d21h) <CDAG> Warrant Officer Giuseppe Lorenzo grabs the photo, signs it with Benny's now separate arm, then grabs for his flamethrower.
(1d21h) <CDAG> The disembodied voice of Bernard screams, “DON'T YOU DARE BURN THE ZOMBIE YOU PILLOCK!!”
(1d21h) <CDAG> Warrant Officer Giuseppe Lorenzo panics, throws the thing at the zombie, then starts chanting again.
(1d21h) <CDAG> The disembodied voice of Bernard is wailing from deep within Lorenzo's pockets, “Someone help me, I don't know where I am… There's no-one here!”
(1d21h) And the zombie keeps coming trying to chase Lorenzo, the strains of Benny Hill's theme tune staining the air.. . Diddle der der der der der der diddle diddle der der der der der diddle der..
(1d21h) <CDAG> Warrant Officer Giuseppe Lorenzo digs through his pockets, pulling out numerous gags, books, and cans of silly string. Bernard's voice is close. He grabs the source. It's a small doll that seems to be moving of its own volition.
(1d21h) <CDAG> Warrant Officer Giuseppe Lorenzo starts punching the zombie, taking off chunks of its head and face. It just keeps moving forward, grunting in a British accent.
(1d21h) <CDAG> The disembodied voice of Bernard is in Lorenzos ear, nagging furiously, belittling poor GL's efforts at necromancy, telling him just what he'll suffer when UB gets back to clan halls.. .
(1d21h) <CDAG> Warrant Officer Giuseppe Lorenzo focuses on the fight, tuning out Bernard. His survival is in doubt, and that is all he is thinking about.
(1d21h) <CDAG> The disembodied voice of Bernard is wailing, “Leave the poor zombie alone, leave it alone.. . Where's my bloody body, eh? THAT's what I want to know, you berk!”
(1d21h) <CDAG> Warrant Officer Giuseppe Lorenzo grabs a mirror and holds it in front of Bernard. “You're a damn doll. That's were you are. Now what are we going to do about the zombie?”
(1d21h) <CDAG> The disembodied voice of Bernard denies being a doll, “I'm not a blinking doll you nutcase, what have you done with my body, eh? I'm trapped somewhere, and I'm ALL by MYSELF!”
(1d21h) <CDAG> Warrant Officer Giuseppe Lorenzo screams. “You have been transferred from your body into a receptacle. This doll is the receptacle. That zombie is your body. We'll have to strap it down and perform a reversal.”
(1d21h) <CDAG> Warrant Officer Giuseppe Lorenzo doesn't add that this is very unlikely to work.
(1d21h) <CDAG> The disembodied voice of Bernard wonders what on earth Lorenzo is talking about, “That's my body? Bollocks, I wish I could point. .. I'm not inside a doll, anyway.. . I think you're talking nonsense! Do you even know?”
(1d21h) <CDAG> The disembodied voice of Bernard continues, “What you're on about? I'm not in a doll. I'm somewhere. There's no-one around. It's like. .. Well.. . It reminds me of CC404. But it's not. .. THAT zombie isn't my body, it's ROTTING!”
(1d21h) <CDAG> Warrant Officer Giuseppe Lorenzo nods. “Let's just calm down. Your spirit is inside this doll, but your mind has been allowed to fly free. Just focus. You should be able to see something around you.”
(1d21h) <CDAG> The disembodied voice of Bernard isn't inside a doll, nor is his spirit. His voice is here. But that's all. His body is.. . Somewhere else. And the wandering corpse of Benny Hill? Well, it's BENNY BLEEDING HILL risen from the dead!“
(1d21h) <CDAG> Warrant Officer Giuseppe Lorenzo is confused. “We could try putting you in the zombie. It's not pleasant, but at least it's a body. We only brought back Benny's body, not his soul.”
(1d21h) But the corpse of Benny Hill keeps on coming, wanting to feed. And there's only one brain round here. Unluckily for GL, his press doesn't ring true.
(1d21h) <CDAG> Warrant Officer Giuseppe Lorenzo has to do it. He swings his leg around, knocking the head right off Benny's putrescent neck. It still keeps coming, but it's head is no longer a threat.
(1d21h) <CDAG> Warrant Officer Giuseppe Lorenzo leads the sack of maggots into the clan hall.
(1d21h) <CDAG> The disembodied voice of Bernard follows along behind, muttering and cursing Lorenzo.. . He'll get his.. .
BODY PART TWO
(1d20h) <CDAG> Warrant Officer Giuseppe Lorenzo rushes past Kim with a large pile of scrap. He seems to be panicking.
(1d20h) <CDAG> The disembodied voice of Bernard seems to emanate from Dr Paprika's rubbish bins, “Now, don't worry too much about the.. . Um.. . Summoning circle.. .”
(1d20h) <CDAG> Warrant Officer Giuseppe Lorenzo sits on the fountain rim, shakily assembling a humanoid shape from the parts he has.
Body Part: 2
(1d20h) <SPOON> Jon Bishop clumsily floats in. “Summoning circle?! How am I supposed to not worry about a summoning circle?!”
(1d20h) <CDAG> Warrant Officer Giuseppe Lorenzo laughs maniacally. “Nothing'sgoing on here! Noone has been raisedfrom the dead, and certainlynot Benny Hill!”
(1d20h) <CDAG> The disembodied voice of Bernard sighs a little, “It looks like I've lost my body. I'm, ahem, a little concerned about it. It's wandering around somewhere cold, and there's no-one about. ..”
(1d20h) <CDAG> The disembodied voice of Bernard would shake his head (if it had one) at Lorenzo's protestations.
(1d20h) <CDAG> Warrant Officer Giuseppe Lorenzo mutters to himself, insulting his own intelligence.
(1d20h) <SPOON> Jon Bishop turns his head, graspin on to Remus. “Cyber City…sounds colder ..”
(1d20h) <CDAG> The disembodied voice of Bernard agrees with Kimmy, “Yes, but not. .. I don't know if I could explain it any better.. . There's no-one about. .. And I'm a little worried.”
(1d20h) <CDAG> The disembodied voice of Bernard thinks his body is naked, and well. .. It IS cold there.
(1d20h) <CDAG> The disembodied voice of Bernard doesn't know. . “I don't know if it is CyberCity, it's empty of life, and very, very cold. ..” sounding desperate.
(1d20h) <SPOON> Jon Bishop frowns. Riddles aren't his thing. Even if this isn't a riddle, thinking isn't his thing, either.
(1d20h) <CDAG> Warrant Officer Giuseppe Lorenzo has a chill going down his spine. “I think I know where your body is.. .” He gestures to Kim.
(1d20h) <CDAG> The disembodied voice of Bernard seems to take a sharp intake of breath, “My body is cold because it is cold where it is.. .”
(1d20h) <CDAG> The disembodied voice of Bernard appears right next to Lorenzo's ear, “Now you should keep your bright ideas to yourself, son.”
(1d20h) <CDAG> Warrant Officer Giuseppe Lorenzo screams madly.
(1d20h) <SPOON> Jon Bishop asks. “So.. .should we go to CC404 or not?”
(1d20h) <CDAG> The disembodied voice of Bernard swings through the Pleasantville air, towards Kim, and screeches, “JOKE?! You can bet your buggering boots it's not bloody joke.”
(1d20h) <CDAG> Warrant Officer Giuseppe Lorenzo says, “I know where Bernard's body is! Why won't anyone listen to me!”
(1d20h) <CDAG> Warrant Officer Giuseppe Lorenzo sputters. “Bernard, Forest of Death, cemetary, not joke.”
(1d20h) <CDAG> The disembodied voice of Bernard screams itself, “RIDDLE? My body is somewhere cold, wandering around, no-one about. It's like the mountains just outside of CC404! But.. . There's always at least a robot there!”
(1d20h) <CDAG> The disembodied voice of Bernard sounds terrified, “But there's no-one there now. No-one but my body.. . And it can't speak.. . Because my voice is here!”
(1d20h) <SPOON> Jon Bishop grasps on tight, trying not to slip off.
(1d20h) <CDAG> Warrant Officer Giuseppe Lorenzo runs for the summoning circle, muttering feverishly. “Must do it, it's there, I know it! Don't stop me!”
(1d20h) <CDAG> Warrant Officer Giuseppe Lorenzo starts chanting, a whirlwind forming above him as he rises into the air.
(1d20h) <CDAG> Warrant Officer Giuseppe Lorenzo grins wildly as the square begins to deform, twisting into grotesque forms.
(1d20h) <CDAG> The disembodied voice of Bernard snarls, “Oh behave yourself you pilbeam, all of this necromancy has got you into some big trouble. And you better find my body.. .”
(1d20h) <CDAG> Warrant Officer Giuseppe Lorenzo begins to fade, being replaced by an eerie glow that get brighter by the second.
(1d20h) <CDAG> Warrant Officer Giuseppe Lorenzo slowly fades back into view, but he is different.
(1d20h) <CDAG> Warrant Officer Giuseppe Lorenzo 's eyes have a crazed gleam to them, as if they belong to a wild animal. He sinks to the ground and screams bloody murder. “I know where to go now. Just follow me.”
(1d20h) <CDAG> Warrant Officer Giuseppe Lorenzo sprints off to AceHigh.
(1d20h) <CDAG> The disembodied voice of Bernard sighs a little and pings out of existence.. .