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Dark Spademaster Bishop lumbers in, dragging his almighty shovel behind him. A quick scan around. The room looks empty. Good. Time to see if this retreat was worth it.

=Dark Spademaster Bishop holds his shovel up, then rams it into the floor, cracking it. He then walks in a circular motion, cracking all of the floor in his path. Eventually, a nice circle of floor is removed, now dirt.

Dark Spademaster Bishop grins. Indoor digging will be even easier now. He tosses a few bits of wood away, and digs faster than he has before.

Dark Spademaster Bishop climbs out of his hole. “Huh. Faster.” He glances down at the hole. “Awesome!”

Dark Spademaster Bishop proudly pads away.

Ari skirts around the new hole carefully, it looks very well dug

Uncle Bernard smiles at Ari from one edge of the hole.

Bad Uncle Bernard is tottering on the precipice, and fears he will surely fall.

Uncle Bernard also decides he is going to boot Bishop's botty for his hole-boring-antics.

Ari smiles back at Uncle, watching him totter with concern, he is on the other side of the hole, she edges nearer in hopes of preventing a fall

Uncle Bernard falls.

There is a muffled thump from deep within the hole, and by the time Ari manages to peer down Bernard is gingerly getting to his feet. However… Gone is his cardigan and carpet slippers…

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard is now resplendent in a pin-stripe suit, with button-hole, extremely shiny shoes and a rather dapper moustache, “Well, hello there you! Aren't you looking delightful! Say, lend a hand!”

Ari gets down on her hands and knees and peers into the hole “Uncle?”

Aces Ari reaches a hand down to the very different Bernard

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard holds up a hand, with extremely well-manicured nails, expecting Ari to help him out of his newfound hole, “It's certainly dank and depressing in here.”

Spandex dusts sawdust from her shoulders as she pushes the door open with her hip.

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard's eye glints, and he flashes a grin, as he allows Ari to do all the work in getting him out, “My! You've certainly got some muscles, you must be Ari! I'm Bernard, by the way!”

Ari manages to tug Bernard out of the hole with great effort, still looking into the hole she replies “Hello Bernard, is the hole magic?”

Spandex stops and looks up. The door closes behind her. A hole. Bishop must be back.

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard notices someone else come in the room, “Well, hello! Goodness me! Do they put something in the water round here?! It's populated by Amazons!”

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard dusts off some imaginary specks that are ruining his sharply-pressed suit, and he shoots his cuffs, “I'm Bernard very pleased to meet you!”

Ari looks up and waves to Dex “Hello”

Spandex takes a moment to survey the newest Berncarnation. “Looking spiffy, B. What's this about Amazons? One-boobed women shooting at you with arrows?”

Spandex casts an amused gaze over to Ari, “Hiya Ari. How are things?”

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard gives a gentle shake of his head, “Well, no arrows as of yet. Pleasedtasay, anyway. So, who the devil are you?” there's a gleam, shining off his polished teeth.

Ari rolls so that she is sitting by the hole instead of kneeling and leans back on her hands looking at Dex “one boob?”

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard had noticed…

Spandex leans back and little and crosses her arms. “Who am I? Oh. I'm Zolotisty. And you?”

Ari shakes off her wandering thoughts, she most certainly is not an Amazon though, just ask Dave “Things are good, I saw Dave”

Spandex hides a grin while she answers Ari. “Yeh. It was said the amazons chopped or burned off one of their boobs” She emulates pulling back a bow. “to make bowfighting easier.”

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard had visions of that thing that happens with T-shirts, “What a pretty name! Zolotitty, you say?”

Ari crosses her arms over her chest looking concern, she doesn't ever want to be an amazon either

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard winks at Ari, “And who is this Dave, of whom you speak?”

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard now winks at Dex, “And, what do YOU do for a living?”

Ari tilts her head “you know? Dave? He's my husband” the last is punctuated with a bright smile

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard recoils in horror, “A husband? But you're so young and innocent! What's a horny handed toad doing marrying you?! Didn't you hear? Men cannot be trusted!”

Spandex corrects him, sternly “TISTty. And you are?”

Ari blinks “Dave can” now this fellow, that might be another story

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard turns back to Dex, “Yes, TITTY, I'm Bernard. VERY pleased to meecha, Ms Titty.”

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard would like to meet this Dave, he wonders if he can be persuaded. He narrows his eyes, “And what is this place? Some berk left a hole here,” he points

Spandex pokes her forefinger into the chest of his slippery suit. “Just call me Z, you half-deaf nutjob. And I'm in the Entertainment business. What do you do?”

Ari nods “that was Bishop I think, he likes to dig”

Spandex casts a still-amused glance over to Ari. “Glad to see you're visible again, Ari.” She should apologize for her bad pun.

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard knows all about ladies in the entertainment business, he smirks, “My dear, I'm a businessman. And I think I may have a proposal for you.”

Ari smiles back happily “It is much better when people can see you, the paintings wont go away though”

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard sighs, more men? “So this isn't the Amazon, then?” his voice registers some disappointment, but he soon regains his composure, “Do women outnumber men, even a little?”

Spandex turns her head sharply to B. “Stop eyeballin' me like that. I'm on the… ermm.. executive side.” She knows all about businessmen with proposals. “Go on, then. Whatsit?”

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard grins, evilly, “How would you all like to make a lot of money? And rub the noses of all the other clans in the dirt at the same time?”

Ari considers “I think its fairly equal between the two”

Spandex looks up from studying Ari's bodypainting. “Keep your money. But what's this about dirt?”

Ari taps her chin “well it might be fun, long as its not mean”

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard taps his nose, “I think I need to speak to the head honcho, can't be blabbing to the hired help, now can I?”

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard looks all innocent, “Mean? Why, the very word is anathema to me! Kindliness and Altruism are my middle names!”

Spandex leans her weight onto one hip and taps her boot on the ground impatiently. “You're looking at her.” She points to Ari.

Ari blinks at Dex's words and looks behind herself

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard takes Ari by her elbow and leads her out of earshot of Dex, every so often, as he whispers, he looks back to ensure Dex isn't moving. Soon, they finish, and head back. . .

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard smiles wanly at Dex, “I can see why she's hired you. It's always good to have some hired muscle.”

Spandex returns with a coffee from the kitchen, in the meantime.

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard gives a little half-bow (the twazzock) to Ari, “Well, I must be away, I have plots to plot and plans to plan.” he winks, one last time at Dex, “Stay frosty.” he tells her.

Ari nods “I will spread the word among my, er minions?” Ari is not very skilled at playing a part, though she does enjoy it. She may need a new costume though. . .

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard waves expansively as he heads upstairs, “Cheerio Ladies!” he even blows a kiss. He's seeking opportunities to chew the scenery!

Spandex lifts her eyebrows, “Muscle? I fancy myself more of an artisan.” She winks back at him. “Not Frosty. It's Z.”

Ari giggles and waves goodbye

Spandex waits until he's out of the room and grips Ari's shoulder and laughs mirthfully. “C'mon now. Spill the plan! What did he say!?”

Ari grins and whispers what she was told to Dex

Spandex straightens after hearing the Filthy Secret, and glances about the room to ensure there are no industrial spies lurking about.

Ari looks towards the wings, she is going to have to poke through the dressing room

Spandex grabs her hand and follows.


Ari darts in and starts poking through all the choices with a very big smile

Spandex sneaks in behind her, and heads straight for the tickle-trunk of masks.

Spandex pushes the last costume aside and sighs again. Turning to Ari she asks, “I need something that is naive.

Ari tilts her head “a naive costume huh? Hmmm”

Ari looks through the dresses and skirts looking for something that looks like naive

Spandex nods “Something unassuming.” She starts going through the next rail of outfits. “Too over-done?” She's holding up a Gakuran.

Ari hmms “well you would look innocent like in that”

Ari grins mischeviously and pulls out a dairy maid outfit

Ari pulls selects herself one of the skin tight numbers, half black, half white, this might work with a few changes

Spandex rushes over and runs her hands along the white chemise and black front-laced bodice and long skirt. “This. is. it! May I?”

Ari nods happily and looks over her own choice, just needs a few decals and it will do nicely

Molotov Spandex strips and pulls the white chemise over her head. It falls to her calves and has balloon sleeves and gathered front. She twirls in it, giggling.

Kestrel steps behind a screen to change.

Masked Phantom Kestrel steps back out, newly cloaked and suited, and on the hunt for a mask. Pieces of clothing go flying as she rummages through even more boxes.

Ari smiles to Kes “I gotta go spread the word then sleep” she rolls up what will be her costume

Masked Phantom Kestrel grins over to Ari, untying the blindfold at the back, and trying a white mask on for size. “M'kay. I'll mention it if I see any others wandering around ignorant.”



Not-So-Evil Merlin bounds into the hall, skips over Callia's cart and heads towards the library. She's never been a super villain before. RESEARCH IS CALLED FOR!

Not-So-Evil Merlin enters the library, and takes a few moments to happily breath in the smell of old books. Then it's off down the aisles in a bounding race with her shadow in search of the proper book.

Not-So-Evil Merlin skids to a halt in front of the Encyclopedias, and skims the titles before selecting “The Encyclopedia of Super Villainy. Abridged.” Sounds promising!

Not-So-Evil Merlin heads over to one of the reading tables and begins to skim through, Making lists on a scrap of paper as she reads. Villainous Qualities, Evil Dreams, Tortured Childhoods, Lifelong Enemies, etc.

Not-So-Evil Merlin never knew being an evil Villain could be such a complicated job. hrm… secret lairs. That does pose a problem. Dunbernarding is not so secret, really.

Not-So-Evil Merlin shuts the large book with a thump and, after carefully replacing it back on the shelf, and after a brief stint of dust mote chasing, she bounds out of the library.


Not-So-Evil Merlin skids out of the library, but pause when she spies the rubber duck. “AH! a super villain side kick. We will have need of you.” she picks up the duck and continues out to the Hall.

Not-So-Evil Merlin returns from the library, and sets the rubber duck on a nearby desk. “Right. You there. Duck. Listen closely. Evil Plans! We need them. Like… Not brushing your teeth after meals. Or…

Not-So-Evil Merlin thinks hard. “Or supplying the world with bubble gum that won't blow bubbles. Or. . . perhaps creating a highway that is always filled with bumper to bumper traffic. . . hmmm”

Not-So-Evil Merlin looks back at the rubber duck. “What do you think?” The duck is silent. Merlin grins. ” Speechless, hmm? I thought so. they were good ideas.You are a great minion. You will continue to live.

Not-So-Evil Merlin looks to her list. EVIL PLANS. check. EVIL COSTUME? Merlin shudders. “No spandex. ever” Merlin frowns at the duck. “Don't look at me like that, it's really quite impractical. no no no.”

Not-So-Evil Merlin snatches up the duck and scampers over to the stage. “There's got to be something useful in here. . . ” she heads behind the curtain.


Not-So-Evil Merlin sets Rubber Duck the evil minion on a dressing room table and heads over to the costume racks. “This is important, RD.”

Not-So-Evil Merlin says, holding up various bits of clothing before setting them aside. “Because a Super Villain without his trademark Super Costume, is no Super Villain at all. . . that's what the book said anyway.”

Not-So-Evil Merlin tilts her head, toward the table. “What, RD? No, no cape. They just get caught in things, remember? no no. . . we need something that will strike fear in our enemies hearts. . . . NO NOT SPANDEX.”

Not-So-Evil Merlin finds an old Lab coat and a pair of goggles and tries them on. . . “Hmm. I look like Dave, only without Teh. And we all know HE's not very super villainous.” she takes them off and keeps looking

Not-So-Evil Merlin finally settles on a long black trench coat, that hangs almost to her feet. She nods. “right. this is elegant Evil. . . this is “I'm taking over the world in my Ferrari” Evil.”

Not-So-Evil Merlin grabs the goggles from before and tries them on again. “Now we have the, ” I'm both smart and Elegantly Evil” look.“ she turns to RD. “What do you think?” The rubber duck simply stares.

Not-So-Evil Merlin grins and scoops the duck off the table. “Right it's perfect. And look.” she twirls experimentally. ” Cape like, without all the hassle of a cape. I. . . am a Genius.“ She bounds out the door

Not-So-Evil Merlin bounds into the room, tosses a whole bunch of costumes into a box and bounds out again.

Not-So-Evil Merlin halts at the door and lunges back underneath the dressing room table, for some facepaint.

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard is determined to find his very own cape that'll match his Georgian effect suit. OOH OOH! Look shiny calf-leather boots! He'll have those! And what's this? A riding crop? Riding crop? Cane? Hum.

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard continues his thought process, riding-crop? Cane? Riding Crop? Cane? OOh, decisions, decisions. He decides on both, tucking the crop into his shiny boot. IS THAT A MONOCLE?!

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard picks it up! It IS! Hang on, what about these sunglasses? They don't go with the outfit (Victorian-late-Georgian-or-is-it-Edwardian dandy-cum-Moriarty-type-chap-about-town-with- a-revolver)…

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard struggles with the idea none-the-less, the shades also mean he doesn't see all that well, but that's a small price to pay! He puts them on, OVER his monocle. He can take them off if he likes.

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard now needs a pair of jodphurs, as he's having enormous problems getting his trousers tucked in his boots.


Not-So-Evil Merlin almost flops onto one of the benches, before remembering Callia covered them in glue. She sits down by the fountain instead, and pulls her minions from various pockets.

Not-So-Evil Merlin lines up the rubber ducks in a row. RD 2.o, RD Jr. and RD Sr. stare up at her with big eyes. “Yes Yes I know. . . Being Evil is hard work. You did a good job today, so go on, play in the fountain.

Not-So-Evil Merlin drops the ducks one by one into the fountain. RD 2.0, being a cyberduck, promptly sinks. “Oh bother. ”

Not-So-Evil Merlin grimaces, but sticks her arm in the water and fishes for the duck. “Come on you. . . Don't hide from your master!” She finally manages to pull up the metal duck. “No more swimming for you!”

Not-So-Evil Merlin sets the duck down on the fountains edge where it gives a squeak of “DEleTe!”. Merlin pulls her notebook out of her satchel and tries to focus on a poem.

Living Dead Girl Alisen Small shambles through, getting caught in the stocks when she attempts to chew on a sleeping Rookie. SNAP.

Not-So-Evil Merlin jumps at the sound of the stocks. “WAH!” She looks over. “Oh… hmm, you look familiar. . .”

Living Dead Girl Alisen Small stares blankly at Merlin. There may or may not be a glint of recognition in those glazed, dead eyes. “Nrrggh?” she questions.

Not-So-Evil Merlin picks up RD 2.0, just in case DELeTiNG is necessary. She steps a bit closer”Em… Alisen?

Dark Spademaster Bishop backs into the outpost with grass in his hand, a cow following behind. “Come on. . .hurry up now.”

Not-So-Evil Merlin shrugs and pulls out her new pad of evil star stickers. She sticks one on Alisen's shoulder. “Very nice though. you should think about joining our league of evil!”

Not-So-Evil Merlin turns when she hears two familiar sounds. ” Jon! and.. Isabelle!“ she bounds over.

Living Dead Girl Alisen Small groans and tries to turn her head to regard the addition to her peeling shoulder. Thunk goes her head against the stocks, and she gives up trying, instead looking back at Merlin hungrily.

Dark Spademaster Bishop turns his head. “Ah! Merlin! Hello! Do you know how to ride animals?”

Not-So-Evil Merlin holds out RD 2.0 so Bishop and Isabelle can see his newly upgraded status. “Isn't he the cutest little cyber duck? he's just. . . em,” she looks to Bishop. “Do I know how to ride what?”

Dark Spademaster Bishop pokes RD curiously. “What the? Where's that from?” He pats Isabelle. “I don't know, animals. Like this one.”

Not-So-Evil Merlin grins as the foil wrapped duck squeaks out “DEletE!” ” G rock upgraded him. now he has a ray gun!“ she points to the mini whisk attached to one wing. “And. . . why do you want to ride her?”

Dark Spademaster Bishop does his best in an attempt to climb up Isabelle. “Well, it's easier than walking.” A look to the duck. “It can shoot people?!”

Not-So-Evil Merlin carefully tucks the duck inside her satchel. ” hasn't tried it yet, so I think you are safe.“ She attempts to help him onto the cow by grabbing onto his leg and pushing up. “is this helping?”

Dark Spademaster Bishop flinches. “Agh! Oh, uhm. Yes, that helps.” He is now positioned on Isabelle's back. Isabelle MOOs in frustration.

Not-So-Evil Merlin pats Isabelle on the nose, before rummaging through her satchel and pulling out some carrots. “There you are. You do look rather skinny. Did you go on a diet? be careful with that!”

Not-So-Evil Merlin lets Isabelle have the carrots, and looks up at Bishop. “em.. you are backwards.

Dark Spademaster Bishop had absolutely nothing to do with the accidental thinning of a cow. “Oh, crap.” He tries turning around, but kicks at Isabelle's sides in the process. She begins hustling forward.

Not-So-Evil Merlin skips out of the way. ” Wait! Where are you going? Isabelle, come back!” she bounds after the cow.

Dark Spademaster Bishop is now learning the painful lesson of why it is a terrible idea to ride bareback. “Hey, hold- ouch. . .OUCH. . .”

Not-So-Evil Merlin's cow chasing is doing naught but make the cow a bit more spooked. Isabelle hurries faster, heading for the fountain. “Isabelle!!”

Dark Spademaster Bishop panicks. “Ouuch..don't make it go faster!” He rams his hands into the side of Isabelle. “Cut it ouch. . .out!” This only results in more speed, as she rushes past the luggage hut.

Not-So-Evil Merlin shouts “I”M SORRY!“ she only makes the cow shy away from her and gallop toward the old Church. “SORRY FOR THAT TOO!”

Dark Spademaster Bishop curses. “Shit. . .shit!” He pulls his shovel from his back, and rams it into the ground below him. Isabelle continues forward as Jon stays with the shovel, falling to the ground.

Not-So-Evil Merlin dashes over to Bishop and kneels down to take his hand. 'Are you ok? Are you hurt? Can I help?” Isabelle looks on from across the outpost. She snorts, before finding flowerbeds to munch

Dark Spademaster Bishop grumbles, grabbing at his legs. “Erg. Ouch. Uhm. I think it will uh. . .work itself out. I'm..completely fine! Yeah, fine.”

Not-So-Evil Merlin pulls a first aid kit from her satchel. “I 've got splints! and bandaids and ace bandages. . . What do you need?”

Dark Spademaster Bishop shakes his head, sitting up. “No, I don't think uhm. It's fine..” He pauses. “Well uh, your turn!”

Not-So-Evil Merlin stares. Then shakes her head fiercely. “No thank you.”

Dark Spademaster Bishop questions, “What? It only hurt me because- nevermind.” He inquires. “Ever seen any saddles?”

Not-So-Evil Merlin thinks. “Aren't there stables or something in the Bingo Hall? We could check there!” That would be safer, at any rate. She packs up the first aid kit.

Dark Spademaster Bishop considers this. “Oh, right!” He slowly pulls himself up. “Let's try that.” He takes a few steps, with a minor limp.

Not-So-Evil Merlin shakes her head and offers bishop a shoulder to lean on. “Come on you.” she pulls some more carrots from her satchel and waves them at Isabelle. “You too! Let's go!”

Dark Spademaster Bishop: : accepts the aid from Merlin as the head to the Bingo Hall. “We should've just eaten it. . .


Dark Spademaster Bishop slips out of eboy's, with a few free energy drinks stuffed in his jacket. He's quite enjoying the fact that he's allowed to do this now.

Dark Spademaster Bishop pauses. What else can he steal, now that the others look brightly upon it? He glances over to Mike's.

Dark Spademaster Bishop smirks, slipping into the Chop Shop. Perhaps to pick himself up a free TR-25. His voice is heard in the distance. “No no no firearms necessary here! I'm just innocent shopper!”

Dark Spademaster Bishop sprints out of the chop shop with a grimace on his face. Alright. Need to think smaller. Stealing from rookies? That sounds perfectly evil. But. . .perhaps they work together like a pack of animals.

Not-So-Evil Merlin bounds into the outpost, having completed her evil deed for the day. Chasing pigeons is exhausting work! She flops down on the edge of the fountain.

Second Lieutenant Malverius pads through the gates and stops, looking about to see what he can see.

Not-So-Evil Merlin pulls out her Not- so -evil checklist and frowns. Some of the clan have been slacking in their evil duties. . . hrm.

Lady Akitsu meanders in from the jungle, hems only slightly tattered, with a few splotches here and there, on her gloved fingers and across her face. She's holding a note, it seems. . .

Not-So-Evil Merlin makes a few more notes, quite a few more next to Callia's name than anyone else's. She looks to her own checklist and writes, 'Practically evil in every way!”

Dark Spademaster Bishop jerks to the side. “Merlin! Ah, uhm.” He remembers that, with these new rules, he hasn't done anything wrong at all! “Hello! I just did some evil things.”

Second Lieutenant Malverius shrugs and pads over to the list-checker, curious as to what she may be doing. Just an occupational hazzard for a kitty like him.

Not-So-Evil Merlin grins at Bishop. “GREAT! lets see. . .” she flips through the checklist and makes a few notes. 'You've made your quota for the day, well done!“ she looks to Malverius. “Hello!”

Dark Spademaster Bishop beams. This is perfect. He isn't doing anything differently than he normally would, but now he's being praised for it. “Woo! I was thinking about getting some extra credit, too.”

Not-So-Evil Merlin nods. “That would be a great!” she leans in and whispers. ” It is just a game though. . . don't do anything SERIOUSLY evil. . .“

Dark Spademaster Bishop presses his fingers together in mild disappointment. “Uhm, what's the line between evil and seriously evil?”

Not-So-Evil Merlin bounces off of the fountain and pulls her foot through the dirt. “there's the line.”

Dark Spademaster Bishop stares downward. “Oh. I see.” This must mean he can do any evil thing he wants on his side. He proceeds the turning around, and walking a distance in the other direction.

Second Lieutenant Malverius hugs her tightly and scoops her up off the ground. Now that he has her eye to eye with him, that means she must be lip to lip as well! He tests this theory by kissing her soundly.

Not-So-Evil Merlin frowns at Bishop's departing form and bounds after him. “Where are you going?? Your evil deed hasn't been approved by the league of evil yet!

Dark Spademaster Bishop proceeds to dig several holes, each only about a foot deep. He then heads to the wall of the cafe, where he finds a conveniently placed spigot and hose.

Dark Spademaster Bishop holds the hose in his hand, twisting the the side. “Huh?! Approvals? Come on. It's much better to give surprises.”

Not-So-Evil Merlin nods slowly. “I suppose so.” she peers down into the tiny hole. “What are you doing? puddles aren't evil. . .”

Dark Spademaster Bishop shakes his head. “No, not puddles. Mudholes, but covered up. No one will see them coming.” He turns the handle of the spigot, letting water flow. The hose sprays in all directions.

Not-So-Evil Merlin flits away from the water spray. “HEY. Watch that!”

Dark Spademaster Bishop struggles to gain control of the hose. He wonders: does an evil act towards another evil-doer count? He grips the hose, and intentionally aims it towards Merlin. “Watch what?”

Not-So-Evil Merlin squeaks and bounds away to hide behind a bench. “THE WATER!” she says. ” Be careful!'

Dark Spademaster Bishop aims at the bench. “Yeah, I'm watching it. It's pretty wet.”

Not-So-Evil Merlin's bench is giving no cover whatsoever. She bounds out, and dives for the side of the spiderkitty. ” BISHOP! It's WET!

Dark Spademaster Bishop presses his thumb against the opening of the hose to allow the water to launch further. Some of it splashes back in his eye. “Argh!” Despite this, he continues the assault.

Dark Spademaster Bishop smirks. “Is that so? That's why I said it's wet, because it is.”

Not-So-Evil Merlin darts behind the spiderkitty. there is silence.

Dark Spademaster Bishop lifts a brow, slowly creeping over. The hose isn't long enough, and he gets caught in front of the PSK. “Crap..”

Not-So-Evil Merlin has clambered on the roof of the PSK and with an evil cackle, drops down behind Bishop and grabs for the hose. “GIVE ME!

Dark Spademaster Bishop flails, as upon turning, his first sight is a tail. “No cat!” He flinches backwards, dropping the hose.

Not-So-Evil Merlin picks up the hose and points it spray of evil at Bishop. “BWAHAHA! Revenge!”

Dark Spademaster Bishop runs back, trying his best to avoid the oncoming barrage of water. His attempts don't work well. “What did I do wrong?!”

Dark Spademaster Bishop clambers to the side of the curious looking rock.

Not-So-Evil Merlin is being sprayed with water as much as she is spraying, and so she drops it quickly. “Meh… Now I'm going to smell like wet CAT. Thanks DEAR”

Dark Spademaster Bishop winces. “Dammit..” He must hide such a smell somehow. He grabs a clump of dirt in his hand. “Uh, Uhm.” He throws it at here. “Here!”

Not-So-Evil Merlin is hit with a face full of dirt. It quickly turns to mud. “BISHOP!” she lunges. “COME HERE!”

Dark Spademaster Bishop remains still for a moment, holding his nose out. “Huh, is the cat smell gone now?”

Not-So-Evil Merlin tackles him and sends them both sprawling on the ground. ” I don't know. is it?“

Dark Spademaster Bishop yells, tumbling down. He looks up at her. “Ah, uhm. Dirt. With. . .a hint of. . .” A pause, then he panics. “Demon smells!”

Dark Spademaster Bishop grips another clump of dirt, mashing it into Merlin's shoulder. “Hold on, hold on! I'll get it out!”

Not-So-Evil Merlin growls. “BISHOP! enough with the dirt!” bounds away again and picks up a dirt clod. “here!” she throws it and hits him dead in the chest.

Dark Spademaster Bishop holds his arms out with a grin. “That all? I love the stuff. Thank you!” He brushes some of it off, collecting most of it in his hand, he runs at her with it. “Not until the smell is gone!”

Not-So-Evil Merlin can see this is a losing battle, and like all good super villains, she knows when to flee. “get away with that!” she says, and bounds out of the square.

Dark Spademaster Bishop charges after her, out of the outpost. “You will not escape my wrath!”


The Queen of Fables Reverb, dressed almost inconspicuously as an old lady selling apples, ambles onto the town square. . . “Apples! Fresh apples! Look at them glist.. erh.. shining red!”

Improbable Leprechaun Akogi notices an old lady selling apples. He wanters over and asks, “How much 'fer 'da apples?” He then turns back to Kes and says, “Good 'fer 'cha. 'Dey're not productive in anyway, shape or form”

Cuisinier Micha perks up. Apples! He's making batches of cider right now, more apples are always welcome. He trots over to the kindly old lady. “Beautiful sheen on those.”

Paste-pot calliaphone peeeers out and all around. “wow! lookit all the people! and who's that over there - looks like she escaped from the old folks home at Frinton-in-the-Sofa.”

The Queen of Fables Reverb croaks in a way that just might have been badly acted laughter. “Well, for you, my little dwarf friend, i have a free sample..” She produces a shining apple from the bottom of her basket.

The Queen of Fables Reverb makes sure her hand covers the syringe marks when she hands the 'sample' to Akogi. “Enjoy!”

Cuisinier Micha pokes a finger toward the old lady's apple basket. “Can I have one of those, too? For cider testing?”

Improbable Leprechaun Akogi takes the apple and says, “I have no idea who 'cha are. . . nor if people 'dink 'dey know or not whenever 'dey say 'dere me friend.” He then looks at the apple all around, cautious thats all.

I Dream of Fergus have finished licking the booze-spolsion off of all the buildings (they were right parched trapped in their bottle) and turn their attention to the vaguely familiar old woman.

The Queen of Fables Reverb smiles. “But of course good sir. Here you go!” Another 'special sample' is dug up from the basket, and proffered to Micha with a toothless smile.

Molotov Spandex leaves her arm for Horse to gnaw on. “Don't change, Swede. S'fine as you are.” She cups her free hand to her mouth, “Hey! Queen! Toss one of them over here for my Horse.”

Cuisinier Micha crunches into the apple.

The Queen of Fables Reverb shoots a withering glare at 'Tov 'Dex. She's evidently nothing but an old lady selling perfectly harmless apples.

Cuisinier Micha disappears in a poof of apple-scented smoke, with a hint of swamp water. Well, not disappears so much as swirls downwards in the wafting smoke.

Paste-pot calliaphone blinks. she looks round slightly panicked. everything's going poof and paf and pop all of a sudden and there's acetone showers and marmalade shirts and not a dolly mixture in sight.

Cuisinier Micha's clothing is puddled on the flagstones, but where is he? A cranky ribbity croak emerges from under the fallen top hat.

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave wanders back into town, carrying a couple bottles of acetone, which he offers to calli. “There y'go. Found some in the Scullery.”

Molotov Spandex cackles like an evil queen at Swede's comment. “Sure, but no uniform. And I got cuffs already.” She lifts the ones hanging from her belt as evidence.

Improbable Leprechaun Akogi notices a tiny hole in the apple and then asks the old lady, “Umm. Lass, 'dere's a hole in 'yer apple. 'Dough I don't 'dink she matters. If 'cha don't mind I'll save 'er 'fer later.”

The Queen of Fables Reverb hands out apples to several Rookies, all of them about to disappear in the jungle under mysterious circumstances. Isn't that a remarkable coincedence?

Molotov Spandex's Horse is starving. She casts an impatient gaze back up to Fables.

The Queen of Fables Reverb cocks her head as she leans in to examine Akogi's apple. “My, you're absolutely right. This must be one of my erh.. special apples.” She sighs mournfully.

Cuisinier Micha croaks louder. It's very dark under this bloody hat! What's going on?

The Queen of Fables Reverb shrugs “Well little man, you've caught me. I also sell apples filled with various liquors, all under the counter, you understand..”

Cuisinier Micha stretches his vocal cords and attempts to form words. Something is wrong with his tongue. And it's still dark! “Er, hello?”

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave nods, and perches on the cart. He rifles through his pockets and finds his flask, which he uncorks and takes a swig from. He belatedly remembers his cigar and pulls that from another pocket.

The Queen of Fables Reverb sidles over to the top hat lying abandoned on the pavement. It's typical of the Island for nobody even glancing twice at a joker disappearing, fortunately.

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave's hat peers about with its feather to examine the talking tophat, and hops off his head to scuttle over and investigate.

The Queen of Fables Reverb looks around furtively, and snatches up the hat, frog and all. She whispers to the frog; “A frog you'll be, untill the end, and out to sea you will be send, for Her kiss will set you free…”

The Queen of Fables Reverb finishess at a barely audible hiss “But mere days you'll have, 'till the count of three.”

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave's hat tilts its feather curiously at Fables. It produces its sign. “You calling the hat a frog?” It seems rather confused.

The Queen of Fables Reverb frowns at Teh's sign. “What have we here? A magic hat, perhaps?” She bends over, intent on picking it up. “I could make good use of such a thing, indeed..”

Cuisinier Micha is still stuck on the first line of the old lady's rhyming couplets. “A FROG? YOU TURNED ME INTO A FROG?” Micha looks down at his body, tumbled in the upside down hat. Yep, looks like a frog.

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave's hat deftly dodges out of the way of the encroaching Hands, flipping its sign around. “Woah there.”

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave chuckles at calli. “All I'm saying is, I'm sure a cream liquor would go better with chocomilk. Wouldn't clash as much.” He grins.

The Queen of Fables Reverb frowns. She'll deal with the insolent item later. “Who, a little old apple lady, little frogling? Ridiculous!” But, wasnt she shorter before? And definately more 'old'-sounding?!

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave's hat scoots back to Dave, stowing its sign and looking as if its muttering something under its breath. Or would be, if it could mutter, or breathe.

Paste-pot calliaphone spies Teh scuttling for safety. She adopts a Brave Pose and glares around. If anyone hurts the hat she'll . . . roar at them. or something.

Paste-pot calliaphone's Brave Pose is conveniently situated behind Dave.

Cuisinier Micha glares impotently from the confines of his hat. “It was the apple, you poisoned it. Er. And turned me into a frog.” Micha realizes how ridiculous that sounds, but sticks to his guns. Er, tongue.

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave waves after Fergus, and grins at calli's Pose. “Nice pose there. Glad I'm on your side.”

Cuisinier Micha goes about unwrapping his tongue from his head and gingerly rolling it back into his mouth.

Paste-pot calliaphone sticks to her gun. routinely. Micha's wise to stick with sticking to tongues, in her opinion.

The Queen of Fables Reverb is growing taller and more her regal self by the minute. “Clever, clever little frog. But if i were you, i'd spend less time accusing your Queen, and more time trying to break the curse. Tick-tock”

Cuisinier Micha makes a giant leap upwards and out of the hat. He lands on the ground with a splut. “Wait, tell me that rhyme thing again. Something about a kiss?” He instinctively snaps at a passing fly.

Cuisinier Micha snags the fly and swallows, then becomes very still as the implications of this action dawn on him. He nearly throws it back up, but settles for hacking moistly instead.

Paste-pot calliaphone is helped up. and then, “OH LOOK A FROG!” and she's off after Micha, flapping at him with her flat-cap. “c'mere froggy, you know you wanna!”

The Queen of Fables Reverb's lips curl into a wry smile. “A frog you'll be, untill the end, and out to sea you will be send, for Her kiss will set you free. But mere days you'll have, 'till the count of three.”

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave watches Calli with a laugh, leaning back against her bucket, legs kicking the side of the cart. He puffs his cigar happily, amused.

Cuisinier Micha falls over his legs trying to evade Calli's cap. “Get away, get away!”

Paste-pot calliaphone pauses in her frog-chase to say, “well, jus' s'long as you know you're welcome to hunt around there if you wanna.” and then she's off again. “here froggy-froggy. ribbit.”

Cuisinier Micha erks at the Queen. “Three days? This is getting worse and worse.” He hops behind Dave's legs to avoid Calli's cap.

The Queen of Fables Reverb laughs. “But you will never make it in time, little frog! Never!” Her laugh echoes through the city square, lingering even after she vanishes in a roaring blaze…

Paste-pot calliaphone ker-splonks her cap down where the frog is – was — sitting. “GOTTIM!” or has she? she peeeers underneath.

Constable Swede says “Thank you Calli. Goodbye Spandex, Dave.” he glances at the frog and queen… mutters: “Not my problem” and goes home to change

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave blinks at Reverb, and shrugs, peering down at the frog behind his legs.

Paste-pot calliaphone says, “Bye Swede!” she'd wave, but … a FROG!

Molotov Spandex laughs and calls out to callia, ”'member what you taught me?“ Her voice drops to a loud whisper, “pretend yer after fishes!”

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave picks up Teh so he can tip it to swede, then the two of them peer at calli and the Frog.

Molotov Spandex mercilessly ogles Swede as he leaves.

Paste-pot calliaphone blinks. “fishes! like Battenberg said.” she sits up, clonking her head on the under-gear of her cart. “ouch. okie, i can do this! deaky. snevious. HERE FISHIE FISHE!”

Cuisinier Micha peers up at Dave. He swallows, edging an irritated glare out occasionally at Calli. “Uh, hello, Dave. Fancy meeting you here.”

Paste-pot calliaphone crawls out from beneath the cart, holding her cap like she definitely isn't hunting anything. and whistles. a tune about fishing an' stuff. with no frogs mentioned at all.

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave raises an eyebrow at the frog, and holds a hand down, palm up. “And, er. . .who're you?”

Cuisinier Micha rolls his eyes at Calli. “I'm not a frog. Well, okay, I am a frog. But I'm not going to come if you call 'here fishie fishie.' You could call me Micha.” This is becoming a very odd day.

Cuisinier Micha swallows his dignity and delicately hops into Dave's hand. “I'm Micha. I think.”

Molotov Spandex joins in the ruse, “fiiiiiishes. Wheeeere arrrrre you” She pulls her sleeve from Horse, stands and walks over to the fountain to presumably fish for fishes.

Paste-pot calliaphone stares. “you - huhh?” a talking frog with identity problems. it takes all sorts. “Micha? what kind of a name is that for a frog?”

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave lifts Micha up to eye level, and peers at him. Teh leans its feather close to do the same. “Wait, isn't Micha a woman chef-type-person?” It's been a while.

Molotov Spandex whirls back to catch Dave catching the catch. hrrrmph no fair. “Callia! Think if we kiss it and maybe it'll become a crate of Treasure beer?”

Paste-pot calliaphone stares at Dex. then she turns eagerly to the frog, puckering up her lips. “kissykissykiss?”

Cuisinier Micha coughs up a fly wing. “Yes. That's me. Sloth and I got a sex change after losing a game.” And that's a long story. “And now I'm apparently a frog, too.”

Paste-pot calliaphone offers the frog a dolly mixture. s'gotta taste better than flies.

Molotov Spandex clasps her hands and bounces on her toes. “Don't think of acetone. Think of sweet life-giving Treasure beer, Skooch!” She knows how thoughts change things.

Cuisinier Micha eagerly moves around on Dave's hand to facve Calli. “Worth a shot, I guess! Thanks, mate!” He puckers up, too, firmly keeping his tongue in his mouth. Blasted thing.

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave nods, and scoots Eileen out of the outpost. “Makes sense.” He glances back and forth between calli and Dex, then raises an eyebrow at Micha, a smirk crossing his face.

Paste-pot calliaphone giggles, and smoooooches Micha thoroughly. she does not keep her tongue quite indoors. she's heard rumours about frogs with interestin' drugs on 'em. or was that toads? whatever! slrrrrp.

Cuisinier Micha's eyes get even wider as Calli's tongue passes the gates. His tongue, apparently with a mind of its own, reflexively shoots out. Regardless, though the amphibianic kiss is nice in its way - nothing.

Cuisinier Micha looks incredibly, astoundingly disappointed.

Molotov Spandex woooo!s` “Careful Callia! The fairytales always have them married! Don't let him hook ya!”

Paste-pot calliaphone says, “ahahaTICKLES!” she looks at the frog hopefully. any signs of incipient beer-transformation? she sighs. “oh well. guess you're stuck like that. unless mebbe - you need a Real Princess!”

Paste-pot calliaphone says, “i'd marry a crate of beer!”

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave wouldn't doubt it.

Molotov Spandex has watched that Micha's tongue action and shouts, “Princess Dex! Me me! That's me. Glass slipper 'n all that yes.”

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave shrugs, and moves his hand to offer Micha to Dex.

Paste-pot calliaphone giggles, and stands back, gentlemanly-like. she didn't have the magic, so it's time to let others take their turn.

Cuisinier Micha mooches off of Dave's hand, landing on the ground once more. “I think I need to find a real princess, you're right. I had better get on it.” He disconsolately hops towards the gates.

Cuisinier Micha stops mid-hop and turns back to Dex. “Er, can I have a rain check on that, Princess Dex? I think that fly's disagreeing with my nat'ral equilibrium.” He does look rather green.

Molotov Spandex harrrumphs and turns away from the dirty toad. “charming, my ass.”

Paste-pot calliaphone shakes her head. honestly, what do you expect if you eat flies? really, Micha needs a proper diet. marshmallows, for example.

Paste-pot calliaphone peers round at Dex's ass. “why, so'tis.”

Cuisinier Micha hoppity-hops out, only occasionally tangling himself in his own webbed feet.


Cuisinier Micha curls her tongue around the candy and sucks it down. A sudden thought occurs to him. This phoenix thing isn't just fattening him up for dinner, is he? Micha peers suspiciously at the tatty bird.

Distractable Medic Props blinks at all the candy. Hmm.

Cuisinier Micha looks up at Props, surrounded by a rainbow scatter of candies. He croaks inquisitively.

Distractable Medic Props looks down at the frog that reminds him of Micha. “Hey there.”

Cuisinier Micha stretches to his hind legs and grins liplessly up at Props. “Heya, Jack. How's the army treating you?”

Distractable Medic Props jumps! TalkingMichaFrog! “Er. . . Um. . . Hey! Yea, the army is. . . good? I guess? It's not like much is happening, considering there aren't any other military personnel on the island”

Distractable Medic Props nods to MichaFrog, “So. . . how are you?”

Cuisinier Micha does his best to shrug. “Other than being turned into a sick fairy-tale parody of the Frog Prince, I'm well. Say, you wouldn't know how to brew a love philtre, would you?” He looks too hopeful.

Distractable Medic Props blinks a few times. “What. Why?” He chuckles, “Please you don't need somebody. . . to kiss. . .” He trails off as he realizes Micha isn't joking.

Cuisinier Micha crawls onto Prop's shoe, practically begging to be picked up. “Yeah. And it's going to be difficult, I think. Has to be one specific person, and it has to be willing.”

Distractable Medic Props still continues to wonder how someone can refer to a certain someone and everyone knows whom they are speaking of. “Oh dear. That. . . sounds difficult. Have. . . you simply tried asking?”

Cuisinier Micha: erks quietly and turns a greener shade. “No! I'm downright terrified of Her! The asking nicely is plan C.”

Buddleia mutters something about wishing she could get her own Jokerdom back. Not fair it being a problem for other people. She sighs and sits back, dozily stroking Bob's hair.

Distractable Medic Props nods, “It has to be willing? So. . . wouldn't a love potion be out?” He considers for a moment. “Maybe if you bring her flowers?”

Cuisinier Micha rolls his eyes, hugely. “Duh, Jack, the point of the love potion is to make it willing!” He muses, throatily. “Flowers, brilliant! Make the potion airborne and time released!”

Cuisinier Micha croaks over to Buddleia. “Hey, he's got an idea! Going to go with Jack here to brainstorm some. We'll be southwest of New Home if you want to join later.”

Cuisinier Micha heads out anyway, to gather herbs and other things for his love potion.


Cuisinier Micha hops into town, cursing The Queen of Fables. Time is running out on the curse's deadline!

Venetian Lady Cherriki Ten strolls out of the Common Grounds and spies Micha. “Oh dear! Are you okay? Can I help you with something?”

Cuisinier Micha croaks for a moment, then stands to address Cherriki. “Um. I need to make a love potion. Or get a kiss.”

Venetian Lady Cherriki Ten looks at the frog carefully and asks, “A kiss from anyone or. . .?”

Cuisinier Micha rolls his eyes, swiveling his head to check for camera pans. He motions the Masked Lady to bend down, or at least pick him up. Some things are sensitive.

Venetian Lady Cherriki Ten moves from her spot and kneels in front of the frog, picking him up carefully and bringing him up to her ear so that her might speak with her quietly.

Cuisinier Micha puts his lipless mouth close to the dark curls. “The Queen turned me into this. I have to kiss. . . Her, or I stay a frog forever! And it has to be willing on Her part!”

Venetian Lady Cherriki Ten's eyes narrow at the words, “How diabolical!” She turns to look at the frog and asks quietly, “Isn't giving her a love potion against her will though?”

Cuisinier Micha eeps quietly. He had been hoping no one would point that out. “I…I think so. But it works in fairy tales, sometimes, doesn't it?” Hugely luminous, pleading eyes.

Venetian Lady Cherriki Ten looks at the frog sympathetically. She wants to lie and say sure, but her code of honour dictates otherwise, “I am sorry, but not in any fairy tales I have read.”

Venetian Lady Cherriki Ten's eyes crinkle behind the mask as she smiles encouragingly, “But! I have not read many fairy tales, so maybe in a couple, that works!”

Cuisinier Micha waddles in a disconsolate circle around the Masked Lady's hand. “Drat! Drat and damn!” He crrrks for a few breaths, the picture of crushed amphibianic hopes. “Can you think of anything?”

Venetian Lady Cherriki Ten is suddenly overwhelmed with guilt, “How exactly did she cast the curse? Perhaps there is a loophole?”

Cuisinier Micha settles back into a squat and attempts to wrinkle his miniscule forehead in thought. “It was an apple. There was something in it, some sort of serum. And there were rhyming couplets. They went:”

Cuisinier Micha recites, ”'A frog you'll be, untill the end, and out to sea you will be sent, for Her kiss will set you free. But mere days you'll have, 'till the count of three.“ A swallow. “This is day 2.”

Venetian Lady Cherriki Ten's brows knit together in concentration, mulling over the words in her head. She looks at Micha and says, “She never specified that her was the Watcher, right?”

Cuisinier Micha nods ruefully. “You know how people say Her and you can just tell? That's how she said it. I didn't remember to emphasize it in the recitation, though. But maybe I was misreading her words.”

Cuisinier Micha doesn't think he misunderstood, unfortunately. He's already tried kissing Calliaphone, and that didn't work.

Venetian Lady Cherriki Ten nods. She was actually thinking that perhaps he had to kiss someone on the Failboat. She asks, “So when are you going to try for Her kiss? I could lend a hand if you need it.”

Cuisinier Micha scratches his chin with one webbed toe. “Well, we were going to brew up the you know what tonight, and then go for it before sunset tomorrow. Any help you lend would be great!” Fervently.

Venetian Lady Cherriki Ten smiles behind her mask, “Of course! Anything to help! What do you still need for it?”

Cuisinier Micha whips out a tiny piece of paper…but from where? “Mmm, we need lovage, sage, and Johnny Jump-Ups. Oh, and licorice, honey, ginger, nutmeg. and oysters.”

Sloth appears with a flash in the middle of town, hands held out in the traditional 'Where did my one-shot teleporter go?' gesture.

Cuisinier Micha brrrps in glee, trembling with excitement on The Masked Lady's palm.

Venetian Lady Cherriki Ten listens intently and, with her free hand, taps the gold lips of her mask, “I am not sure what lovage and Johnny Jump-Ups are, but I maybe able to find most the spices. Do they need to be fresh?”

Venetian Lady Cherriki Ten turns her gaze on the newly entered Joker, “Good day, miss.”

Sloth glances around, then drops her hands to the side, she grins at Cherriki Ten, “Hiya!”

Cuisinier Micha shrugs his speckled shoulders at the question. “I think not. But the more the better. And I'll get the lovage herb and Johnny Jump-Ups flowers. And the oysters.”

Sloth blinks as she hears Micha's voice, then looks down, “And hi to you too, Micha!”

Cuisinier Micha accidently lets his tongue loose at a passing gnat. He opens his mouth in a wide greeting at Sloth.

Venetian Lady Cherriki Ten smiles at Sloth from behind her mask”I take it this is one of your friends?“ She asks the frog before looking at Sloth sheepishly, “Ah pardon me. I am Ch-er. The Venetian Lady. How do you do?”

Cuisinier Micha dips his whole body in a nod. “Yes, this is Sloth.”

Sloth laughs and grins at Micha, “You should have let me introduce myself!” She winks at Ch-er and sweeps her hat off as she bows. She straightens up, “A pleasure, Ch-er.”

Venetian Lady Cherriki Ten blushes a little at her own slip up, “A pleasure to be sure. You can just call me VL if that is easier. . .”

Cuisinier Micha trembles a little on The Lady's hand, full of excitement and plottings!

Sloth grins, “Very well, VL it is!”

Cuisinier Micha croaks to Sloth, “The Lady said she can help us with the love potion. She can get the spices we need!” A huge froggy grin.

Sloth raises an eyebrow, “Spices?” She has no idea what Micha is talking about, but she grins, “Wonderful! Of course, the spices!”

Citizen Yaisa strolls into the outpost just in time to hear about Sloth's love potion. She's not sure why, but she's instantly afraid for whomever she's targeting.

Venetian Lady Cherriki Ten grins and nods, “I have a friend who just finished building a fantastic kitchen. I know she loves to cook and bake, so she should have everything you need by way of spices and honey”

Citizen Yaisa decides she's had quite enough of this and, having gotten her cake, heads out to find her quest monster. Maybe that will get Dan off her back.

Sloth spots Yaisa but does not acknowledge her presence. Instead she just lays a finger against her nose and winks.

Cuisinier Micha nods. Professional curiosity precludes him from mentioning his own Kitchen. He wants to see this rival establishment sometime! “Oh, lovely! And Props said he can help us get it into some flowers.”

Cuisinier Micha feels that Props had a brilliant idea to bring Her flowers. With a delayed time-release aerosol or something like that, of The Potion.

Sloth nods, “Right. Get it into flowers, of course.” Okay, two pieces of information so far, time to attempt to figure out what they are planning. Micha and her, that is.

Venetian Lady Cherriki Ten nods enthusiastically, “So when do we need to, er, brew this lovely concoction and where should I meet you with the ingredients.”

Citizen Yaisa ambles back into town, winking conspiratorially at random passersby, mainly because it always seems to confuse them. Plus, it amuses her. That's the important thing.

Cuisinier Micha pushes against VL's palm in a stretch. “We should do it tonight, if possible. For use tomorrow. Do you have time to help us now?”

Venetian Lady Cherriki Ten resists her temptation to stroke a finger over the adorable amphibian and nods once more, “Yes, I should be able to. Can't promise much past getting you guys the ingredients tonight though”

Sloth strokes her chin, “Right, the ingredients. And, of course, the brewing.” She blinks, oysters, Watcher, “The love potion. Right.”

Cuisinier Micha blatantly begs for Sloth to take him from VL's hand. “That's more than enough, Lady. Please bring the ingredients to my kitchen, just southwest of Squathole. 9,15.”

Sloth grins and holds her hand out so Micha can hop to it, if he'd like.

Cuisinier Micha transfers to Sloth's hand, leaving only a tiny bit of dampness on VL's palm. He's being polite as possible.

Sloth winks at Micha, “Want a ride to your kitchen?”

Venetian Lady Cherriki Ten smiles, wiping her hand inconspicuously on her leg, “I will go get that for you now and will see you soon.”

Cuisinier Micha grabs Sloth's thumb. Well, not really grabs, more like latches on with both forearms. “I'm ready.” He swivels to face VL. “And thank you so much for your aid. I'll see you soon.”

Sloth grins at Cherriki, “A pleasure meeting you, VL.”

Venetian Lady Cherriki Ten inclines her head in a bow, “And a pleasure meeting you both” She smiles and turns, heading out east. 1)


Emperor Darth Tor NaGoth tosses a Glue grenade into the squre as he passes trough, and laughs eevilly

Returning Contestant Weezle frowns as he steps in fresh glue. “Oh bother. . . . this could make my date tonight rather awkward. . . ”

Returning Contestant Weezle smiles warmly to Darling, and goes to move closer to her. . . . but finds his feet rather stuck fast in the glue. “Erm, hello to you, Darling!” he calls, and starts tugging on his legs.

Darling strolls over to Weezle, Cedric perched on her shoulder. “Oh my. You seem to have gotten into a rather sticky situation, have you not?” She arches one brow wryly.

Returning Contestant Weezle waves to Sinna as well, then looks back to Darling with a smirk. “Oh how droll. Yes, it would seem I have, do watch your step, much as I'd enjoy the company I'd hate to share the misfortune.”

Darling looks to Weezle. “I have some whiskey in my flask. Do you think it might help to loosen the glue's hold on your feet?”

Contestant Arka chuckles.”Yeah, i suppose we are. I beat them up.“ The Spanish Inquisition jumps out at Arka and seizes her in their nefarious clutches.

Returning Contestant Weezle blinks. “Oh my, I hope not. Shame to waste good whiskey like that. . . .” he pauses. “Ah! If you could reach into my pack, I have a med kit. Should have some rubbing alcohol. . .”

Contestant Arka squeals in terror.”I didn't expect a Spanish Inquisition!“

Darling nods at Weezle and rummages in his pack, trying to avoid the glue. She appears before him, triumphant, with a bottle of the rubbing alcohol in her hands.

Bizarrely Bree whirls to face Darling, blinking erratically. “I'm sorry, what?”

Dark Wizard Valtarshol looks over at Arka. “No one suspects the Spanish Inquisition!”

The Spanish Inquisition sneers, “No one expects the Spanish Inquisition! Confess! or face. . . the Comfy Chair!”

Returning Contestant Weezle smiles. “Oh thank you so much, Darling. Now, let's hope this works. . . . hate to spoil the whiskey.” He begins to apply the alcohol, slowly trying to work a foot free.

Contestant Arka thinks for a moment.”Wait a second.I'm NYPD Blue. What am I afraid of?“ She promptly punches it in the face.

Captain Tsuma claps for Arka, “Guess I'm not needed?”

Contestant Arka wraps her arm around Tsuma's waist.”Huzzah!“

Returning Contestant Weezle manages to get a foot free, though still rather goopy. “Hmmm. I suppose this means I'm going to need a bath,” he says, carefully setting his foot down out of the glue.

The Spanish Inquisition runs off holding it's nose, “You will burn for your defiance! Heretic!”

Captain Tsuma looks at the arms, but hugs Arka with a single arm, “Good job!”

Emperor Darth Tor NaGoth tosses three more glue grenades and a half dozen balls of yarn into the crowd.

Rookie Sir Chandestroy has somehow managed to get hit by all three glue grenades. Luckily the yarn missed him, though.

Emperor Darth Tor NaGoth dumps a bag of multicolored feathers on Sir Chandestroy

Puppet Master Voodoo blinks awake and is overcome by vertigo. “Urgh. . .”

Rookie Sir Chandestroy looks over at Voodoo, looking rather like a large multicolored chicken. “You O.K.?”

Dark Wizard Valtarshol: nods. “Same here, had a habit of drinking my own.”

Rookie Sir Chandestroy vainly attempts to brush off the feathers.

Rookie Cenobite Whoa it is a person. He just got feathers dumped on himself. Calm down..”

Rookie Sir Chandestroy “Glue, then feathers, actually. I'm afraid this stuff won't come off for a while, if not never.

Puppet Master Voodoo cannot hear through her crippling fear of chickens, so she runs screaming into the jungle.

Rookie Cenobite takes off his poncho and hands it to Chanderstory.”Here put this on.“

Rookie Sir Chandestroy blinks a couple of times. He is slowly being abused into a raw bag of nerves.

Puppet Master Voodoo| Cedric shakes his head with a sigh. “That poor girl… Just her luck, I suppose.”

Rookie Cenobite Damn it. I have to go get her.

Rookie Sir Chandestroy takes the poncho gratfully.

Rookie Cenobite runs after Voodoo to the jungle.

Emperor Darth Tor NaGoth shrugs, then hands Sir Chandestroy a yellow paper cone with an elastic strap attached, “May as well go full tilt. . .”

Rookie Sir Chandestroy grins a sudden evil grin. He pulls of the poncho, puts on the yellow cone over his nose, and runs into the Jungle to terrorize Voodoo.

Rookie Cenobite tackles Chanderstroy as soon as he see him.

Puppet Master Voodoo| Cedric shakes his head furiously. “Oh no, not me! I didn't imbue her with a chicken-phobia, lil' Voodoo got that from before she reached the island!”

Rookie Sir Chandestroy goes down, flapping his arms. “But I wanna terrorize evil puppet masters of death!”

Puppet Master Voodoo sees the gant chicken running at her. Still screaming in horror, she runs at it swinging her bat.

Rookie Cenobite I will break your leg if you go near her.

Contestant Arka stands up, facing Ceno.”And I'd have to arrest you, Ceno. .“

Emperor Darth Tor NaGoth Rejoices in the Eevil he hath wrought.

Rookie Cenobite then realizes that if Voodoo is running at the chicken swinging her bat and he just tackled it. . . Before he could finish his thought Voodoo slams him in the side of his head with the bat.

Rookie Sir Chandestroy retreats under fire of baseball bat blows, dangerous threats, disapproving glances, and raised eyebrows. He returns to NewHome.

Emperor Darth Tor NaGoth decides everything is better with glue, and tosses a couple more glue grenades.

Contestant Arka walks over to NaGoth.”Sir, if you continue with the glue bombs, i'm going to have to bring you in.“

Rookie Sir Chandestroy sighs. “What's the point of looking like a chicken, if you can't screw with people's heads?”

Puppet Master Voodoo, blinded by fear, keeps whapping at the super ultra mega chicken from HECK.

Emperor Darth Tor NaGoth makes machine-like breathing noises, and hands Arka two glue grenades— sans pins.

Rookie Sir Chandestroy is now knocked out. Blood is flowing from several wounds, staining the feathers.

Contestant Arka takes the grenades, holding the primer levers down. She tosses them over the wall, where they explode harmlessly in the Jungle.

Emperor Darth Tor NaGoth slaps a medkit on Sir Chandestroy's wounds, and substitutes a peacock feather for Voodoo's bat.

Contestant Arka looks at Darth.”. . .“

Rookie Sir Chandestroy moans and opens one eye. “Whu. . .”

Emperor Darth Tor NaGoth shrugs, and Sprays silly-string all over Arka.

Rookie Sir Chandestroy says “Is the crazy person done hitting me with that peacock feather?”

Emperor Darth Tor NaGoth announces, “My evil work here is done” and wanders off.



Contestant Kalistrix Dali shuffles unsteadily out of the Spiderkitty, considerably lighter in both bank account and self esteem than when he went in. He wonders if the invention of Clatter violated the Geneva convention.

Contestant Kalistrix Dali having moved into the advanced stages of an especially virulent sulk, seeks out the traditional corner of brooding, which is now occupied by a Joker having an existential crisis about fish.

Contestant Kalistrix Dali attempts to convince her that she has been there too long as it is, and that is his turn so kindly clear off. She, in turn, politely inquires as to whether or not he knows what makes fish happy.

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave saunters into IC, cigar in teeth, a burlap sack slung over his shoulder. The echoes of “clinks” and “clanks” and the occasional “Click. This bomb is now Armed. This bomb. . .” emerge from within.

Contestant Kalistrix Dali, for all his issues with communication, knows better than to touch that one. He sighs and ambles off towards a marginally sunnier patch in which to mope.

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave manages to get the errant improbabomb properly disarmed before anything untoward happens. Like the cessation-of-existence of Improbable Central. He breathes a sigh of relief, then glances about.

Contestant Kalistrix Dali idly considers researching the thereputic properties of big bags of shiny things. This thought lasts about as long as his foul mood had; he nearly skips over to investigate the sack (and its owner).

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave raises an eyebrow up to Dali as the man approaches. Teh waggles its feather at him, then produces its sign. “How's tricks, Kali?”

Contestant Kalistrix Dali is thoroughly delighted to recognize this particular bit of plumage. He peers myopically at the sign, grinning mildly. “Amply knotted, april lent. The water's keen, Chapeau?”

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave stares, somewhat dumbfounded, at Kali. Teh, for its part, flips its sign around. “Erm…good to hear, I think. And the water's fine as anything. Just don't like getting wet much. Bad for felt”

Contestant Kalistrix Dali nods sagely. “Lefted feeling when drops collect. Note.” It finally strikes him that there is some sort of person beneath the hat, and smiles and sheepishly extends a hand. “Tagged as 'Kali'.”

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave blinks, briefly checks for tags, then grins sheepishly as he takes the hand. “Name's Dave. I see you've met Teh. I'm usually the one wearing him.” Teh nods its feather in agreement.

Contestant Kalistrix Dali snickers. “Penances for barren, earlier. Strove to net; didn't conjure he roosted on a single bonebox.”

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave tilts his head, and gears can almost be heard turning in his head as he translates the last sentence to common english. “Ah, so you were the one who hatnapped him?” He laughs genially.

Contestant Kalistrix Dali scratches the back of his head and does his best to look innocent and trustworthy. “Just to titch a tick or two. Leant to re-deliver him when affairs were in a row.”

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave laughs again, and reaches up to pat Kali on the shoulder. “No worries, Kali. If he were in any real trouble I would have known about it. Sounded like an interesting time, anyhow.”

Contestant Kalistrix Dali nods absently. “Lends to scope his toppery wasn't up to mark. Can't conjure why. Non de plume glimmers in bands, huh?” He fortunately doesn't seem to expect a response to this.

Contestant Kalistrix Dali is, in fact, mostly occupied with trying to disguise his ogling of the burlap sack and all the glorious promise it contains.

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave and Teh exchange glances. They both peer at Kali. “Erm. . .come again?”

Lady Akitsu bounds out of the Grounds in her kitten form, POUNCETACKLES Dave, then scampers back inside! Silly kitten.

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave is nearly tipped over by a high-speed kitten. He waves after Kit.

Contestant Kalistrix Dali quietly considers the implications of his total lack of reaction to spontanious attack cats. He shrugs. “Don't burn wet on it, natter's fourleaf most ticks anyway.”

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave is used to Kit's surprise attacks. He nods sagely. “Ah. Right. So, I see you're curious as to what's in the sack, eh?” A mischievous twinkle appears in his eye. It tries escaping, but fails.

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave has learned, over time, that you really have to keep a close tie-down on those twinkles. They have a tendency of escaping and wreaking all sorts of havok.

Contestant Kalistrix Dali considers all his past experiences with twinkling eyes and the people whose heads they occupy. He weighs this against the promise of a sack full of rattly things. There's no contest; he nods eagerly

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave grins widely, takes a puff of his nearly-forgotten cigar, and sets the sack down rather uncarefully. He opens the thing and starts digging through it. Headfirst. With a lit cigar in his mouth.

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave emerges from the sack with a handful of Improbabombs, and some rather interesting pieces that look like they may have been grenades at one point. “Mostly I'm dealing in explosives right now.”

Contestant Kalistrix Dali makes a small little squeaking noise. It's about all he can manage, right now; he looks like he is having some sort of religious experience.

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave grins widely. He knows an easy sale when he sees one. “The Improbabombs are just that. The other things. . .some of 'em confetti, erm. . .this one's. . .” He glances at one that used to be a whoomph.

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave mutters, under his breath. “The hell was this one? Oh, right. . .” He clears his throat, causing a puff of smoke. “This one's. . .ahh. . .erm. . .I forget. . .” He frowns at it.

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave's hat peers over its brim at the grenade, and shrugs its feather. It doesn't know either.

Contestant Kalistrix Dali's face is slowly, and with devistating casualties on all sides, taken over by a manic grin. “You vend the shattering, then?”

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave doesn't need to puzzle this one out. “For the time being. All part of the pun, you see. . .” He grins. “Whatcha looking for in a handheld explosion?”

Contestant Kalistrix Dali purses his lips thoughtfully. Then the grin returns. “D'you jackdaw a shell in “apocalypse” scales of punch?”

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave looks taken aback. “Apocalypse scale? OF COURSE NOT! HOW COULD YOU IMAGINE SUCH A THING” Contrary to his rather loud objections, he makes small gestures to the PSK, as if the current discussion

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave has escalated to something requiring strong drink.

Contestant Kalistrix Dali clasps a hand to his breast in profoundly overacted pennance. “Dust the conjure! This one didn't swing to colour your seeding as lefts. Pluck you an amber as reckoning?”

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave nods, and thinks better of the idea of discussing anything within earshot of Dan. He gestures north. “We can slip into Dunbernarding and have a drink there.” Plus, he's got more stock there.

Contestant Kalistrix Dali shuffles surreptitiously tavernwards. if the Spiderkitty weren't the only thing on that end of the square, it might even be close to subtle.

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave picks up his sack-of-shiny-and-dangerous after unloading his armload of merchandise back into its depths. He tosses it over his shoulder, and grins to Kali.

Contestant Kalistrix Dali is entirely unconvinced that Dan needs to be in earshot of you to know what you're up to. He nonetheless shrugs. “Mark the trail, vendor.”

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave nods, and sets off northward, waiting to make sure Kali can follow.

Contestant Kalistrix Dali eagerly trots after the man and his Hat, like some terrible, gangly mockery of a puppy.


Accomplice Teh Dave saunters into the Bingo Hall, a large burlap sack slung over his shoulder. He makes shushing motions to Lilith, and stands by the door to the Dorms wing, waiting for his customer.

Contestant Kalistrix Dali trots in, his usual awe at the ability to turn raw jungle into civilization somewhat dampened by speculation as to why civilisation would choose to have that shade of wallpaper.

Accomplice Teh Dave would argue that calling Dunbernarding “civilization” would be a bit of a stretch. Mostly due to the wallpaper. He grins over to Kali. “Oi, right this way. And try not to get lost.”

Accomplice Teh Dave gestures to the Dorms wing. He'd also note that the “try not to get lost” is a lot harder than it sounds. He does it all the time even without trying.

Lieutenant Colonel Althea enters the hall, gingerly trying to avoid nicking the door as she shuts it. She fails. Lilith glares.

Contestant Kalistrix Dali trots after Dave happily. He offers the woman at the desk a polite smile as he passes, which is promptly withered clean off his face by the answering expression. “Uh, yarn. T-topside.”

Accomplice Teh Dave laughs, tips Teh to Althea and Lilith with equal magnanimity. “Evening.” Then disappears, Cloakroomward.

Lieutenant Colonel Althea pauses in quailing to give Dave and the new guy a wave. She decides that it would be best to get out of Lilith's glare.

Lieutenant Colonel Althea scoots past Lilith to the sofa.


Contestant Kalistrix Dali lands in the sand with a wet splat and a spray of outcome percentages. He sways upright and offers a weak grin. “Penances for the bide.”

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave grins and sips his drink. “Don't worry 'bout it. We'll see the Merch over on the Island. Seems like the best place to demonstrate.” High explosives on a remote island. That's always a good idea.

Contestant Kalistrix Dali nods, and does his best not to wonder about the ramifications of nested islands; he's learned it is considered impolite.

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave has had some fun with the idea of nested islands. He's not about to do it again… He slogs out the short distance to the Island.

Corporal Cousjava tosses a bucket of water onto the island. Overhead, it starts raining. Heavily.

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave steps lightly onto the Island, and heads for the mountains, dropping his Sack of Explosions beside him and rummaging inside.

Contestant Kalistrix Dali sloshes ashore. Vertigo is beginning to get to him, here.

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave emerges from the sack with a handful of rather non-standard-looking grenades and two pairs of goggles. He hands one of each to Kali. “Works like normal, just put those on first.

Contestant Kalistrix Dali manages to cease swaying and come to grips long enough to accept the goggles. He is subsequently delighted by them, and puts them on with no small amount of glee. He barely resists striking a pose.

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave chuckles as he dons a pair of goggles himself, and another on Teh's crown. Because you can never be too careful. Teh watches with great interest.

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave hunkers back behind the mountains, and takes the sack of explosions with him. Probably the safest place to watch the explosion from. Except a few miles away, of course.

Ace or Ari tracks a Dave through the castle to the island and hides among the broccoli

Contestant Kalistrix Dali is torn between his abiding love of explosives and a faint sense of self-preservation. Eventually, he compromises and settles in the foothills.

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave gestures vaguely for Kali to perform the demonstration. Nothing like holding the merch and using it yourself to clinch a sale. He thinks he spots something among the Broccoli, and blinks at it.

Ace or Ari looks at the bombs and the foothills, hiding might be a bad plan…

Contestant Kalistrix Dali does not need to be convinced. He vanishes into the bag up to mid-torso, and after much digging and clattering emerges with a particularly patchwork specimen of grenade. He smiles hopefully.

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave nods at the grenade, then gestures for Ace to join him behind the mountain, digging in his pocket for another pair of goggles.

Ace or Ari pops out of the broccoli and runs to the Dealer and safety

Contestant Kalistrix Dali obligingly waits for the newcomer to make it to cover. Not a second longer, though, before he pulls what he hopes is the activation pin and tosses the device towards a large clump of broccoli.

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave grins as the brocolli, ferns, the minature New Pittsburgh, several dog-sized Titans, and possibly some of Mini-Squat-hole now left in shambles or obliterated. “Nice one.”

Ace or Ari watches the kaboom with delight, very happy she left the broccoli

Contestant Kalistrix Dali cheers ecstatically. This, he feels, is the sort of thing he can really support. He whirls on Dave (and Hat), practically shining with excitement. “You've a touch scaled topsize?”

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave grins widely, and even Teh seems to be grinning. Could be the afterglow of the explosion though. “I've got a few in there.” He rummages through his sack of explosions.

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave emerges with a smaller bag, full of further clinking. “Got a bulk discount, if you pick up the whole set.”

Contestant Kalistrix Dali's day is going considerably better than he expected. “This one's hollow to shit a molehill, or a titch of one to least. You wrap in that expanse?”

Ace or Ari listens, she knows what is going on in theory at least but she isn't really following, she doesn't know explosives after all

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave and Teh exchange glances as they try to puzzle the question out. Teh produces its sign. “Erm. . .we'll toss in the bag, and the goggles, if that's what you're asking?” “Or. . .how much?”

Contestant Kalistrix Dali nods thoughtfully, and spends a moment considering how best to phrase his next question. The answer, as per usual, is “don't”.

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave nods thoughtfully, and holds the bag out to Kali. “How 'bout this. You find anything interesting out there, let me know. And I'm always in the mood for stories.” He grins. “Sound like a trade?

Contestant Kalistrix Dali gestures purposefully at the tiny side of a nearby mountain. He then gestures to the bag. Then, with no small amount of vigor, he gives the mountainside a firm kick, triggering an avalanche.

Contestant Kalistrix Dali gestures at the bag again, and raises an eyebrow inquisitively.

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave blinks at the avalanche, and shrugs. He trusts that whatever Kali just said, it's worth it. Besides, he usually makes the bombs for fun anyway.

Ace or Ari pipes in “and wreck havoc” seems thats on his mind anyway but.. she is encouraging evil

Contestant Kalistrix Dali grins delightedly, and practically dives onto the bag. “This one magpies a roulette of shine, will deliver what triggers the fancy on order. Any hollow in centre?”

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave: : tilts his head. “Erm. . .no duds in there. All of 'em good to go and plenty explosive. Just. . .ah. . .be careful. Hate to lose a client.”

Contestant Kalistrix Dali nods happily. He gingerly sets the bag down, and proceeds to rummage through his pockets. This is a very involved process; he sinks into one to mid-elbow.

Contestant Kalistrix Dali eventually produces a bundle of canvas, which he unwraps to reveal an assortment of wiring, firing pins, and electronic components, with what looks like a crosswired kittybike battery as a bonus.

Contestant Kalistrix Dali gestures with the pile of junk expansively. “What this one lends to suction and hoard. Deuces glimmer for commerce?”

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave's eyes widen like saucers, and he grins up to Kali. “All this then? You sure?” His grin doesn't seem to care about the natural bounds of his face. He tosses a few more homemades into the deal.

Contestant Kalistrix Dali nods with what might be raw smugness. “And benificience, stretches more. This one collects on regular tick. We could dice to grips for a silk road?”

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave's grin, defying all sense of logic and realism, extends a bit further. “Sir, this could be the start of a very fruitful business relationship.” He takes the offering and transfers it to his own breast pocket. He extends a hand to seal the deal.

Ace or Ari pulls out her sketch book and looks from her pictures to the doodads with interest

Contestant Kalistrix Dali's own smile has not quite mastered the art of transcending biology; his face has to do some strange things to accomidate it.

Contestant Kalistrix Dali gladly accepts the offered hand. The finer aspects of the handshake still escape him, so he proceeds to try and grind it into a fine powder.

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave's face screws up a bit as his hand is slightly crunched by the shake. He is, unfortunately, not as durable as, say KK Victoria. His grin weakens and he glances to the hand. “Ah. . .er. . .”

Contestant Kalistrix Dali also does not pick up on subtle cues terribly well. Fortunately, he releases his grip again after only a moment. “Glimmered to transact!”

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave lets out a thankful sigh as his hand is released. “Like a disco ball.” He finally turns to Ace. “Ahh, Ace, this is Kali. Kali, this is Ace, my. . .er. . .business partner.”

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave will have to, one of these days, introduce Kali to Ari, his wife. She's not about right now though. Nobody here but us Villains.

Ace or Ari winces on behalf of Dave

Ace or Ari smiles brightly “Hello Kali”

Contestant Kalistrix Dali smiles politely, which takes some effort; wrangling his 'explosives' grin into something less expansive is no small task. “Tops to come to grips!”

Ace or Ari nods “absolutely, for sure it is” she hopes she understands “do you make stuff or just collect things?” “she gestures to Dave's pocket with all the doodads

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave is busy packing up his materials, including goggles. Actually, the goggles go into the gestured-to-pocket. Just in case. He and Teh have a short, wordless discussion regarding the removal of Teh's.

Contestant Kalistrix Dali waves his hand from side to side in the universal gesture for 'eh'. “This one's still shuffling the fineries, kitbash a titch bits and sides, but a void for the macrocosm just as yet.”

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave looks up from behind the mountain, where he and Teh are currently locked in a rather odd pose with Teh's feather wrapped around his wrist. “Keep at it, eventually you get a feel for building.”

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave grins. “We all have to start somewhere.”

Contestant Kalistrix Dali nods happily. “This one runs higher in medal and mettle, will be oiled to glean soon.”

Ace or Ari blinks “Oh, well. . .um. . .I can't make anything I am looking for people to help me with that sort of things and you had all those doodads”

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave nods, as he finally gets everything sorted out with Teh. The goggles are staying, for now. He gets to his feet and pats Ace on the shoulder, laughing.

Contestant Kalistrix Dali tilts his head inquisitively, and sidles a bit closer, smoothly scooping up the bag full o' doom in the process. “You've a hollow for tiktok? What's the centre?

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave and Teh exchange glances. They each wonder to the other if it's a sign of something that they perfectly understood the last 7 things Kali said.

Ace or Ari puzzles and puzzles till her puzzler is sore and just comes back with “I need traps, don't wanna blow anyone up though, just stuff for capturing”

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave's hat could vouch for Kali's traps. It at least saw the trap he made for it. Even if the chase didn't go that way.

Contestant Kalistrix Dali's face is beginning to hurt and he would really like to stop grinning now, please. “This one has a lean for tangle. What the rattle is aimed at, as it turns.” He shakes the bag happily.

Ace or Ari grins “A joker, her name is Cherriki Ten, she escaped”

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave parks an elbow on Ace's hip and leans against her, ankles crossed, chin resting on his palm. He glances up to Ace with a grin, waiting to see if he'll be asked to translate.

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave frowns slightly. Right. There was something he needed to discuss with Ace…but in a little bit, perhaps.

Contestant Kalistrix Dali nods. “This one can boon a fulcrum, as it lands. A tick or two to shuffle the chase, and we'll natter on the crunch.”

Ace or Ari looks at Dave imploringly, help would be helpful

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave nods. “And this one'd be glimmered to succor, if it's hollowed?” He grins hopefully.

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave grins up at Ace with a look that says “What?” in very certain and teasing terms.

Ace or Ari tries to work things out, he can help…no idea what a fulcrum is maybe science? a bomb to complicate her flight? uh???

Contestant Kalistrix Dali blinks mildly at Dave, and after a moment he smiles. “Struck on the aced toss! Gleams to conjure natter's above sent lunar the widened term.”

Ace or Ari gets scowly and pokes Dave “translate”

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave blinks. “Ah. . .erm. . .what?” He got part of that. . . “What was that about Lunar the widened term?” He scratches his head. Teh scratches its crown in just as much confusion.

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave eeps slightly, and chuckles at Ari. “Pretty sure he said he can help out, give him some time to figure it out, and we'll talk later? Natter's talk, right?” He raises an eyebrow at Kali.

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave is going to have to start a Kaliglish to English dictionary…

Contestant Kalistrix Dali sighs goodnaturedly. “Left to taut it, prattle's sinkholed for the span.”

Ace or Ari bends to kiss Dave “thank you” she smiles at Kali “and thank you Kali”

Contestant Kalistrix Dali gives a cheerful thumbs up. “Trawled heightside!”

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave tilts his head, once again the gears seem to be working full-strength. “Er . . .tired? I know I am..” Not entirely due to his translation attempts.

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave nods. Right. Definitely starting that dictionary now. “Feel free to drop me a line if you need anything.” He just hopes he'll be able to translate it.

Contestant Kalistrix Dali nods, and carefully shoulders his new favorite bag ever. “Tops. This one'll cast for angle on the deuce jaunt to the shineware boneyard. Paeans for the cog!”

Ace or Ari returns her sketch pad to her bag

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave grins, and tips Teh to Kali. Teh produces its sign at him. “Good seeing you, Kali! Good hunting!” Dave nods in agreement with the sign. “And don't take any guff from those swine.

Ace or Ari nod nods in agreement “Paeans for the cog”

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave realizes that he's in the wrong outfit, and indeed, the wrong character, for that line. Ah well. He hefts his own Sack of Explosions, and grins up to Ace. “So, what are you up to?”

Contestant Kalistrix Dali trots off into the sea, like a mighty titan. Only, y'know, gangly, and small, and entirely unmenacing, and y'know what nevermind.

Ace or Ari looks down at Dave “well, I think I am getting help on traps now, not much else I have to do I think, what about you?”

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave stretches, yawning. “Dunno, think I was gonna head out. Have a feeling someone's looking to meet someone else. . .can't tell you what that's supposed to mean though.” He shrugs.

Ace or Ari nods “well then Mr. Dealer, I will see you later, good luck with dealin, went well today” she kneels and kisses him goodbye

Small-Arms Dealer Teh Dave returns the kiss with a grin, and tips Teh to Ace. “Indeed it did. And if you need anything, you know how to find me.” He winks, then heads out, humming to himself, punctuated by “clink”s. Ace or Ari waits till he is out of sight and makes a speedy change, stuffing her costume in her bag and dressing in the skirt and button up and running her fingers through her hair to straighten it

Ace or Ari runs out to head home


The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard comes stalking out of the hall, rubbing his shiny black-gloved hands in maniacal glee.

Emperor Darth Tor NaGoth enters with an escort of Storm-midgets. Omnous music swells in the background as his boots click loudly against the cobbles.

Buddleia blinks in surprise, turning to watch the GERMans.

Emperor Darth Tor NaGoth uses the Farce to choke the typo gremlin absconding with his 'i'

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard points! “Shittocks ALIVE! If it ain't old Smelly-Boots Darth Na'Goth! ? I haven't seen you since that course on Maladiction and Maladroitism! I see you're still into fetish gear!”

Emperor Darth Tor NaGoth intones, “I sense a great disturbance in the Farce. It seems that our instructors were right about maladiction.”

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard almost chokes, “Farce?! FARCE you say? I always thought you were saying “FARTS” You know, “I sense a disturbance in my farts.” We all just thought you had irritable bowel.”

Emperor Darth Tor NaGoth might be rolling his eyes at Bernard, but it's hard to tell with the shiny black mask, “Begone you insufferable fool! Besides, the Farce has nothing to do with my irritable bowels. . . er..oops.”

Emperor Darth Tor NaGoth stalks off with his Storm midgets.

Not-So-Evil Merlin bounds from roof to roof, trenchcoat fluttering in the breeze. . . evilly, of course. She perches on the roof of the spiderkitty for a moment, to consult with Rubber Duck about possible evil tactics.

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard swirls his own black cape menacingly, “Hang on, you owe me forty req from when I bought you that book on money with menaces! Don't call me an insufferable fool! I'm at least an egregious twat!”

Not-So-Evil Merlin shakes her head. “But RD, we tried that. . . and it only makes people laugh. Perhaps you need to go back to Minion school.”She looks around. “Oh HALLO! .. I mean. . . BWHAHAHA”

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard is now sporting quite the severe Dracula-esque hairdo. Which, when combined with his shiny tashes makes for as much grease on his head as a Burger King grill.

Not-So-Evil Merlin's evil laughter is stifled by a very evil moth landing in her mouth. “BLECH BLECH.” she pauses caughing long enough to write, flying moths in peoples mouths in her Evil Villain Notebook.

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard is having flashbacks to when he was trying to sew up that skin suit so he could get changed in the other changing rooms. It never quite paid off, and the lotion kept coming out of the basket.

Masked Phantom Kestrel strides in, more nervously than evilly, but almost bordering on confidently. Smirks around to the different voices, and raises a hand in salute to her fellow vaguely Evil Villains.

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard is stood, foot propped on the lowest rung of a fence, affecting some dramatic poses, “Which do you think is my best side?” he enquires, “And do you think I should procure a kitten to stroke?”

KK Victoria cracks his neck as he walks into the outpost. He's steaming, literally. Must've gone for a swim and is still drying off.

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard notes the arrival of someone who smells a bit like a superhero, entering the outpost, he debates whether to disappear in a puff of smoke, but has got his riding boot trapped in the fence. Shit.

Not-So-Evil Merlin and Rubber Duck, bound from the roof in an impressive display of acrobatics. “Hallo Uncle. . . ER. . . Mr. Very Very Bad.” She grins at Kestrel.

KK Victoria isn't a superhero. He's an anti-hero. Huge Difference. One of them prances about in tights. The other kills people in the name of justice. See? Difference.

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard wonders which is which. He thinks prancing around in tights isn't his idea of a hero. . .

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard realises they're in something of a pickle, “Evil supervillains to me!” he barks, then, realising it's not his dress-up-as-a-dog-night, decides that a verbal command would be better, “Now!”

Not-So-Evil Merlin bounces around Bernard. “What is the assignment for the day? are we scaring pidgeons? popping bicycle tires??”

Masked Phantom Kestrel seems remarkably unfazed by the sound of steam, even though it could only mark the arrival of one person. She leans against the trading station instead, grinning at no-one in particular.

KK Victoria strikes a heroic pose. By slouching and indifferently filtering smoke out of his nostrils and paying only vague attention to anything. Hush. . . He's contemplating mangoes

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard's eyes glint, “No, no pigeons for you today Evil-Lin! Today you're going to bring me the head of KK Victoria. Or his bicycle. Whichever is easier! Mwah ha haaa!”

Not-So-Evil Merlin freezes and looks from Uncle, to KK. She shivers. Then leans in and whispers. “I'm A villain in training! Can't we start with something easy? like. . . chasing squirrels?”

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard swings his riding crop in one hand and taps his cane with the other. With another hand he rubs his tummy. And with a final one, he pats his head. Ah, the wonders of nefariousness!

KK Victoria starts. He heard his name. “Hello Uncle. Merlin.” He waves tiredly. “How is.”

Not-So-Evil Merlin pulls her EVIL HANDBOOK OF EVIL, ABRIDGED out of her satchel and turns to the page marked, “Evil Hand Gestures” “Em. . . you want us to cover Metropolis in glue??”

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard with his very, very polished boots, isn't going to be impressed with such a devil-may-care attitude to the noble art of evil, “Evil-Lin, will you just do something cruel? Steal his trousers!”

KK Victoria blinks. She had better not, Kai likes his pants.

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard nudges Mer, “Shit! He's seen us! Act natural, like!” he forces a wan smile in Kai's general direction, “Lovely day for it? Eh?” he smarms.

KK Victoria nods. “Suppose.” He is growing suspicious. They better not be plotting.

Not-So-Evil Merlin gulps, and waves cheerily at Kai. “Hallo!” She bounds around and hides behind Uncle, in order to come up with a most sinister plan. . .

KK Victoria waves again. Two Hellos? They must be planning something sinister. . .

Not-So-Evil Merlin consults with Rubber Duck for a moment or two before deciding on a heinous plot. She bounds from behind Uncle, and pulls a small vial from her satchel.

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard hopes Kai hasn't realised they're plotting sinisterly. “Um, so are you well?” he hopes that the superhero has an uncomfortable chafing in his knicker region, that'd be too much to hope!

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard *blisses* it looks like Merlin is going to throw vitriolic acid at the superhero! Ooh, she'll pass her Villainy 101 practical, if she does!

KK Victoria is considering. Asking how he is? Lovely day for what? So many questions. So suspicious.

Not-So-Evil Merlin Saunters up to KK, waving the vial. ” YOU THERE, HERO!” She looks up. . . and up. “Em.. well, This vial is filled with Pineapple poison! I drop it, NO MORE PINEAPPLES!”

Not-So-Evil Merlin skips back a couple paces. “So.. um… SO THERE!” she looks back at Uncle. HOW”S THAT?

KK Victoria looks plainly at Merlin. “Well. Better not drop, then. Be problem.”

Not-So-Evil Merlin bounds away a few more steps. “But! I”m evil! well. . . mostly evil. . . s'what we do! Unless. . . You give me all your cookies!”

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard grabs Merlin by her collar, and drags her off, quickly, all the while grinning inanely at Kai, “Excuse my associate, she's simple-minded! Must get her her medicine!”

KK Victoria shrugs. “Sure. What kind.” He obviously doesn't quite get it. Or maybe Merlin needs a bit more menace.

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard bows, curtseys, all the while never taking his eyes off KK, “Cheerio, hope” not to “See you around soon, ahem, hem. Hem. Ah.” he grabs Merlin's hand and runs for it, leaving Blind Kes.

Molotov Spandex smells GERMs. She congregates.

Not-So-Evil Merlin is dragged away! “BUT. . .”

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard comes back and GRABS Kes. . . And Dex, “Come on you two, no bothering that nice Mr Victoria. . .”

Rogue Cyberman g_rock stompstomps in, just in time to be nearly plowed under by a fleeing Bernerlin “Wha. . .erm. . .WHAT is hapPENING here?”

Rogue Cyberman g_rock follows the fleeing GERMs

Great Hall

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard bursts in, breathless!

Not-So-Evil Merlin almost drops the VIAL! luckily it's just some vanilla flavouring for a cake, BUT STILL! “why'd we run? I was doing so well!”

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard shakes his head, “No, no, no. . . You started well, but then. . . A pineapple poison?!” his head still shaking.

Not-So-Evil Merlin shrugs. 'The EVIL BOOK OF EVIL, ABRIDGED says one should find the hero's weakness and exploit it! So. . . I did.”

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard weighs this up, “Ok, well, yes it does, but Pineapple is also the source of Kai's strength, and therefore shouldn't be used. Tinned, perhaps. But never used. Especially on Pizza.”

Not-So-Evil Merlin ponders this. “But, wouldn't we want the hero not to have the source of his strength? it would be easier to beat him up!” though. . . the thought of trying to take down Kai gives her nightmares.

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard nods, it gives him nightmares as well, “Say, look, let's not get downhearted at this, what do you say, we head back to IC and get our teeth into some good quality bullying, eh? Be brilliant!”

Not-So-Evil Merlin turns to her trusy minion, RD for confirmation on this fact. RD is silent, staring up at her with happy Rubber Duck eyes. “We need to work on your evil grin.” she murmers to him.

Not-So-Evil Merlin's ears perk. 'YES SIR!” and she bounds back out the door.

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard grabs Mer by her hand, and leads her to the promised land, where bullying and trouble waits, inside the Improb Central GATES! Mwah ha haaa

Captain Althea streaks by towards the cellars. But she's clothed, not streaking. Lilith would disapprove.


KK Victoria calls after Merlin, “Don't drop! Be problem!” Strange for such a nice woman to have such a poison. And what an obscure poison. . .

Molotov Spandex wriggles out of Bernard's evil clutches, shouting “lat mee goe, feelty kapitoleest peeg!”

Molotov Spandex brushes her shoulders and turns back to Kai, tilting her head towards him. “Kai. I'm ready to meet again. Been. . . studying your lessons.”

Captain Althea senses GERMans. She cautiously approaches the group in time to catch the backsplash from the water. She is soaked.

KK Victoria raises an eyebrow. “Yes?”

Molotov Spandex moves to stand in front of him, away from the crowds. “Yes. Working on speed, mostly. . . and experimenting.”

Rogue Cyberman g_rock pauses as Dex escapes Bernard's clutches

Captain Althea shakes off most of the water and takes a seat, observing. Away from the fountain.

KK Victoria nods. “Demonstrate some. Sometime.”

Molotov Spandex steps to Kai's right side, her left foot against his. “Soon? I'm ready.”

KK Victoria doesn't move positions, he merely looks to the right. “Yes. Soon. Think ready harder fighting. Can handle, yes?”

KK Victoria would assume so, Dex can take quite a bit of punishment if their last session was any indicator.

Not-So-Evil Merlin has RETURNED! After a brief yet touching scene with her mentor, Mr. Very Very Bad, our Villain has come back to renew her efforts to wreck havoc on the world. or at least confuse it a bit.

Not-So-Evil Merlin sees Dex about to fight HER Hero! “Dex! not fair, you can't take him, he's mine!” She goes over to a bench to sulk. “Leave for one second, and everyone's trying to beat up YOUR Hero. . .”

Rogue Cyberman g_rock sidles up to Merlin “what EVIL IS to be accOMPLISHED today? ALSO, will you BE UPgraded or DELETED?”

Molotov Spandex winks up at him, “Can, yes. Look forward to it.” She plans on doubling her intake of iron and vitamins and whatever stops internal bleeding.

Not-So-Evil Merlin looks up at the Cyberman. “Oh well, I did some littering. And I mixed up a few street signs.” She thinks on the last question. “Would I get to be Merlin 2.0? OH OH can I get a ray gun??”

KK Victoria is going to live to fight another day. He probably would've lived anyway, he's really quite hard to kill. Either way, he's on his way out of the Outpost.

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard comes back in, ticking things off on his clipboard of doom!

Rogue Cyberman g_rock nods and holds up a roll of tinfoil in one hand and his wirewhiskraygun in the other “IT is stanDARD issUE. ALSO by being upGRADED you will not HAVE to be DEleted.”

Molotov Spandex hears Merlin and assumes she's talking about g.

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard taps G on his head with his clipboard, “Any more of this upgraded lark and you'll be for the reboot yourself, my re-boot right up your input terminal.”

Rogue Cyberman g_rock looks dejected “SORRY uncle. MAY I UPgrade non-VILLAINS?”

Not-So-Evil Merlin grins. “DEX! I'm going to get a raygun!!” she holds up Rubber Duck. “Can RD be upgraded too?”

Rogue Cyberman g_rock looks as pleadingly as a cold emotionless robot can look, between Bernard and Merlin “AND the DUCK? PLEEEEAAASE?!?”

Captain Althea walks over to the group of GERMans. She waves to everyone.

Rogue Cyberman g_rock waves to Althea. He starts to raise his foil, but. . .no, she's on the “Last to Upgrade” list

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard does an oi-veh sign, “Go on, do the duck!”

Molotov Spandex stretches her lowerback and sets her hands on her hips. “Rrright. Merrleen, beat eup zhee eef he licks. s'gut prractish.”

Not-So-Evil Merlin hands RD to the Cyberman. “Here. You can upgrade him instead of me. Will that work?”

Captain Althea inwardly breathes a sigh of relief. Being the last to be upgraded is quite nice. “Hello all. Anyone interesting upgraded? Or evil things done?”

Molotov Spandex knows that G is a vyrodok and probably will like it. “Jist vatch zhe bitingk. ees senstive skeen”

Rogue Cyberman g_rock grins broadly, then looks abashed and wipes all the emotion from his face. He quickly wraps the duck in foil, adds some pipecleaner headgear, and duct tapes a small whisk to one wing. “UPDRADED!”

Captain Althea notices that a rubber duck is about to be upgraded. She fishes around in her bag and finds some tiny pieces of PVC pipe for the upgrade.

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard is rummaging in his pocket, he brings out a fire-cracker. . . And shoves it straight up the duckie's spiracle. This same he lights and PAMPH the duck explodes in a sorry, yellow-plasticky mess. . .

Captain Althea suggests, “Perhaps these can further upgrade the duck?”

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard looks up from under his brow at Mer and G, “Awfully sorreh, I don't know quite what came over me there, but DAMN! it was satisfying.”

Rogue Cyberman g_rock looks suppresedly gleeful as he hands the duck back. He sticks his tongue out at Dex, then nods at Althea “UPGRADED DICE member named OCHRIS yesTERday.”

Captain Althea blinks in the afterflash and puts away the pipes. “Hm. A bit too late, I suppose.”

Not-So-Evil Merlin blinks as bits of rubber rain down on them. “RD. . . you were a good minion. you shall be missed.” She pulls out her notebook. “Find new minion. . .”

Masked Phantom Kestrel jerks back to consciousness, appalled that she could have missed the execution of Kai. Hearing no screams of terror or pain, her expression quickly turns disappointed.

Molotov Spandex pulls three rubber ducks hanging by their necks on strings from her belt. “Eerr, Merrleen.” She found them in the Halls, and now tosses them over, one after another.

Rogue Cyberman g_rock shrugs “AT least he WAS UPgraded before HE WAS delETed.” he pats Merlin on the head mechanically

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard tsks at Kes, “And where were YOU when it was all kicking off and Me and Mer had to hold off the massed forces of good? Eh?”

Not-So-Evil Merlin catches the ducks. A horde of minions! Lovely. “Thank's Dex, now I have more help for switching the sugar with salt in the Spiderkitty!”

Rogue Cyberman g_rock raises his foil hopefully at Merlin, silently pleading

Captain Althea nods approvingly. “Upgrades are going well then.”

Masked Phantom Kestrel rubs her forehead a little, getting carefully to her feet. “Somewhere in the countryside, several years ago, collecting gorse with the family. It was a lovely dream. What'd I miss?”

A Very Short Madman jumps and pulls himself up onto a bench and watches the crowd.

Not-So-Evil Merlin thinks for a moment and hands one of the ducks to G. “We'll see how he likes it first. ”

Captain Althea remembers that she was in the midst of upgrading her improbable booze ager. IT MAY EXPLODE! She quickly waves a goodbye and takes off northward.

Rogue Cyberman g_rock wraps the duck, snags Althea's pvc, and attaches a miniwhisk in a flurry of activity. He hands it back. “UPgrade comPLETE.”

A Very Short Madman is utterly baffled. Upgrading? Foil? Miniwhisks?

Molotov Spandex eyes Merlin suspiciously. “Yeah umm.. how about. . . I mean. . .” She tings one of her knives with her fingernail. “Vee will findt vay to mek Dan talk?” What about can be sorted out later.

Not-So-Evil Merlin takes the duck back in awe. “RD 2.0. How does it feel?” the other ducks look on in silent amazement. Merlin nods thoughtfully. “Speechless with wonder! Amazing. Thanks G!”

Rogue Cyberman g_rock raises his raygun (read:wire whisk) at Madman “MAY I UPgrade this ONE, UNCLE?”

Improbable Leprechaun Akogi walks into Impy Central, tossing a three sided die in his hands as he walks into town.

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard nods, and ticks off another one on his clipboard. “Just be careful with him. Try and make him a villain.”

Sloth takes a last peer into the fountain, trying to see if she can spot the passage, then grins to Budd and Bob, waves, and strolls out.

Improbable Leprechaun Akogi notices a group of GERMans. The clovers on his hat straighten right up. He looks about to find a spot to watch from a distance. He spots one and begins to climb up the side of a building.

Not-So-Evil Merlin stashes the Rubber Ducks in her pockets before looking up at Dex. “Nice accent. Evil Book of Evil has a whole chapter on accents and their uses in inspiring terror.”

Buddleia waves after Sloth, then hauls herself out of the fountain before she actually dissolves. Wringing her hair out, she asks, “So, yeah, I need to go do my rounds and stuff. Want to meet me in PV?”

Molotov Spandex accent inspires much more drinking of the vodka.

Improbable Leprechaun Akogi begins to wonder if those rubber ducks he's saw a glance of before they with stashed away the ones that he planted in the bingo hall.

Rogue Cyberman g_rock nods and advances on Madmad “WILL you be UPGRADED or DEletED?” he brandishes some very threatening foil

A Very Short Madman eyes are filled with painic. “Err. . . upgrade?”

Improbable Leprechaun Akogi watches g_rock from a distance. Personally he'd say Neither to the question but that's his opinion.

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard has some more very serious plotting to be getting on with, he throws down a firecracker, a smoke pellet, whirls his cape around him, and immediately falls flat on his face.

Rogue Cyberman g_rock nods “You will be one of the CYBERmen. YOU will be FREED from non-SHININESS!” he may be a bit onclear on the concept. . .

The Very Very Bad Uncle Bernard gets up and stalks out of the town, heading to Evil Towers, bad-naturedly.

Not-So-Evil Merlin pulls out her super glue and a roll of quarters. She proceeds to glue them to various surfaces, laughing evilly as she does so.

Rogue Cyberman g_rock sees the nod and moves quickly, wrapping Madmad in foil, head to toe. He sets some PVC headgear on his head, and hands him a whisk and a roll of foil “UPgrade COMPLETE.”

Rogue Cyberman g_rock nods at Dex and lifts gently

Molotov Spandex moves to the building's wall, digs the toes of her boots into the dirt, inhales deeply and runs, steps, steps, steps and gets herself up onto the roof.

A Very Short Madman feels. . . more evil. He hands his bag to the cyberman. “Upgrade Manbag!” he demmands.

Not-So-Evil Merlin waves to Madman. “Mr. New Cyberman, can you help me with some evil?” she waves the roll of quarters.

Aces Ari finds fellow evil doers an joins them

Molotov Spandex turns back to face the square, with a thumbsup to g. “Heya Akogi. I've not forgotten my debt.”

Improbable Leprechaun Akogi notices that both Dex and G are moving towards him. He gets up and begins running to the edge of the roof away from them. He turns back around and his eyes begin to glow with a grin forming.

A Very Short Madman looks over at Merlin. Manbag can wait. “Sure.”

Rogue Cyberman g_rock wraps the bag in foil, while focused on Dex. He puts a whisk in the bag, and hands it back

Improbable Leprechaun Akogi's eyes start glowing and he says to Dex, “'Dat's good. 'Dough I was 'dinkin' 'cha were up to some'din' else.”

A Very Short Madman takes the evil-ised Manbag.

Molotov Spandex turns her head to watch Akogi. . . running away?

Not-So-Evil Merlin hands Madman some quarters and a tube of super glue. “Here! Let us cause Mischief and Evil to spread throughout the world!” another attempt at an evil cackle.

Improbable Leprechaun Akogi walks back to where he was on the roof. Though still pretty cautious. He just watched someone be turned into a Cyberman.

A Very Short Madman isnt following Merlins train of thought. “Ermmm. . . how?”

Rogue Cyberman g_rock pots a quarter on the ground! WOOHOO! He hides his excitement, because that's emotion, which is bad. He bends and picks up the. . .picks up. . .picks. . .what the?!?

Aces Ari sees another villain armed with glue, perhaps she should trade her bubble gun in? But its too nifty!

Not-So-Evil Merlin explains. “We stick the quarters to the ground. People try to pick them up so they can get bubblegum. They can't and they get angry. their anger will simmer in a vast angeryness and then um. . . ”

Accomplice Teh Dave pats Madman on the shoulder, careful not to disturb the upgrades. “It's pretty clear, isn't it?” He takes a quarter from the roll and superglues it to the ground by the fountain.

Molotov Spandex stands calmly. “I'm up to lots of things, all the time, Akogi, but you have my word.” His eyes seem to glow fearfully. “Why are you afraid?”

Paste-pot calliaphone pedals hell-for-leather into town, brandishing her glue-gun and yelling over her shoulder, “was TOO my lunch, psycho!” she skids to a halt inside the gate and takes a few deep breaths.

A Very Short Madman gets the idea now. He glues coins to the foor, laughing like… well, a madman.

Not-So-Evil Merlin nods. “ And then the world is just that more evil!” she skips off to glue some quarters to the fountain.

Masked Phantom Kestrel wordlessly, and grinningly, offers G a pot of nail varnish remover. Let him find out for himself how it works.

Paste-pot calliaphone appears to be covered from head to toe in sticky notes. Very sticky notes.

A Very Short Madman glues one to Daves leg, just for kicks.

Accomplice Teh Davesighs at the quarter glued to his pants. “You realize, of course, I'm sending you the dry-cleaning bill for this, right?”

Aces Ari cranes to see behind Calli, there is a psycho? Would he make a good minion?

Improbable Leprechaun Akogi looks to Dex and says, “Wouldn't 'cha be a wee bit cautious if 'cha just saw what happen and didn't know what she was all about.” He pulls a die out of his pocket and casually chucks it at Kes.

Paste-pot calliaphone stares in astonishment at the goings-on in the square. Everybody's glueing stuff? She looks at her glue-gun, her face registering something like deflation.

A Very Short Madman smile falls.

Not-So-Evil Merlin grins at Dave. “Now that's evil! Good one, Accomplice!” she glues a stack of quarters to the doorknob of the spiderkitty.

Paste-pot calliaphone attempts to hide her glue-gun behind her back. Clearly it's not evil. it's mainstream.

Not-So-Evil Merlin waves at Callia. “You're just in time! I'm running out of Glue!”

A Very Short Madmanglues a coin to the PSK door. That'll confuse some drunks.

Paste-pot calliaphone looks up eagerly. “you are?”

Masked Phantom Kestrel is bonked on the head with a flying die, and her expression quickly turned confused. After a moment of scrabbling on the ground, and thankfully finding it, “Ahm, has anyone lost a die?”

A Very Short Madman sneaks round, glueing coins in rude symbols onto people.

Accomplice Teh Dave's hat peers about, then scratches its crown. It shrugs, and produces its crochet hook, ready to stab the hand that tries gluing a quarter to it.

Aces Ari smiles at Calli, she is like the head of the glueing, they are spreading her, her evilness

Paste-pot calliaphone is bonked on the head by a dying fly. damn tropical insects.

Rogue Cyberman g_rock accepts the remover, and promptly squidges it all over his fingers, which makes them smell bad “EXCELLent EVIL trick, phantOM. YOU will be UPgraded LAST, too.”

Not-So-Evil Merlin nods. “Yep!” she leans in closer, “And. . .

Improbable Leprechaun Akogi pulls a rubber duck out of his pocket and then casually chucks it at Kes as well. Not saying a word about the die.

Accomplice Teh Dave shuffles over to Merlin. “So, ah, what's the next phase?” He raises an eyebrow as he sticks a quarter just off the side of a building, so a tiny rim sticks out.

Paste-pot calliaphone brandishes her glue-gun. “it's unstuck from my hand now.” she takes a surreptitious swig of acetone from the bottle in the pocket. “whaddyaneedglued?”

Paste-pot calliaphone blinks. Was that a rubber duck she just saw. Here in Central? Now how. . . she glances quickly at her cart, checking the thirty-something rubber ducks she found at Dunbernarding are still there. yup.

Not-So-Evil Merlin pauses, blinks, and flips through her Evil Notebook. She reads, hrms, and looks back up at Callia. “And! You can be even more evil by gluing all the doors in the outpost shut.

Masked Phantom Kestrel pauses, mouth twitching in a smile, then attempts to explain to G, “You pour it over the coin, and it's meant to act as a solvent? Undoing the glue so you can take the money. But, thanks?”

Molotov Spandex is only cautious around foods that main contain dried fruit. “Who is she, Akogi? Kes?” She's not very impressed with him hucking things at a person that can't see.

Masked Phantom Kestrel catches this one neatly on the top of her head, sends a hand up to feel it, then calls out, “Alright, Akogi. D'you want that die back, or not? I promise not to bite.”

Not-So-Evil Merlin looks to Dave. “We need to expand! Think Eviler thoughts. Any ideas?” she pulls Rubber Duck 2.0 out of her pocket and squeezes him. “DEletE” it squeaks.

A Very Short Madman finds evil is more tireing than he thought. He glues one last coin to Dave, and falls into a wallcoma.

Improbable Leprechaun Akogi tilts his head to dex and asks, “She as a person or She as an object or 'din'?”

Paste-pot calliaphone nodnods. And climbs down from her cart to go and do what Merlin says. 'cause she's good like that. evil, i mean she's evil like that.

Molotov Spandex says, “Kes. Toss me the dice, please? Hate to see it go to waste.”

Aces Ari has her own evil plans in the works, she kidnapped herself a Joker…plus she has no glue

Rogue Cyberman g_rock shrugs. He's only got two evil ideas, really, and he's already shared the options.

Improbable Leprechaun Akogi chuckles at Kes before saying, “Took 'cha long enough to figure 'dat I was about. 'Dough 'da may be handy to have. 'Da duck 'cha can keep.”

Accomplice Teh Dave nods thoughtfully, and peers at the second coin glued to his pants. He sighs. “This is why pants are overrated. . .” and looks about for that acetone.

Masked Phantom Kestrel shakes her head at Dex's request, dropping it into her pocket beside the rubber duck. “Dice mean a lot to him; it wouldn't be fair. I'll give it back if he asks.”

Paste-pot calliaphone is drinking the acetone. and glueing herself to the door of the PSK.

Accomplice Teh Dave scoots over to calli. “You mind if I. . .” He gestures to the acetone.

Not-So-Evil Merlin sighs. “No one has any ideas? The Evil Book of Evil said Villain meetings were supposed to be fraught with lies and backstabbing and insidious plots!”

Masked Phantom Kestrel pauses, her mind just catching up, then takes the die back out, tossing it in Akogi's vague direction. “Cheers - I'll give it a good home.”

Paste-pot calliaphone beams at Dave. “you wanna try some? s'great with chocomilk - here.” she tries to offer him the bottle, but her movements are restricted by the glue-door-sleeve thing she's got going on.

Improbable Leprechaun Akogi jumps off of the building and rolls as he lands. He gets up and wipes the dust off of him. He walks up to Kes and begins to pull at her cloak as he asks, “Kes can I have me die back?”

Aces Ari grins “I have a plot”

Aces Ari isn't sure she should tell the details though, if it fails it will be harder to lie about it if they know what she was trying to do

Not-So-Evil Merlin spins around to face Ari. “YES?”

Improbable Leprechaun Akogi runs off after the die since the lag gremlins distracted him. He dives for it and catches it before it hits the ground. He gets up and finds his suit covered in mud.

Molotov Spandex shakes her head at her clannie, and sits on the edge of the roof, watching.

Rogue Cyberman g_rock turns to Ari “Does IT INvolve UPGRADING people?!? OR DEleting?!?” he sounds buzzily excited

Accomplice Teh Dave nodnods, and reaches out to take the acetone. He pours some on the two coins glued to his pants, and slips them off, before pouring a bit on calli's sleeve. He peers at the bottle.

Masked Phantom Kestrel seems a little disoriented by the cloak-tugging and myriad sounds, and the splat of leprechaun in puddle doesn't make things any better. “You alright?” she calls out, worried.

Improbable Leprechaun Akogi frowns at the state of his suit. He attempts his best to wipe away all of the mud but most of it wants to stay on. He sighs and says, “At least me die didn't get mud on 'er.”

Accomplice Teh Dave shrugs and takes a swig. “Huh. . .not bad. Probably clash with Chocomilk though.” He hands the bottle back to Calli with a grin. “Crem De Menthe is better for that.”

Aces Ari looks uncertain “well. . .I kidnapped a joker and. . .” she whispers

Paste-pot calliaphone struggles to free herself from . . . ooh! she's free, hurrah! she goes to apply some glue to the seats on all the town benches. not quite what merlin ordered, but. . .initiative!

Improbable Leprechaun Akogi looks over to Kes and says, “Aye, I'm all right 'dough me suit is now covered in mud. No big deal 'dough. I can handle gettin' a wee bit dirty.”

Not-So-Evil Merlin listens attentively, eyes lighting up. “That is perfect! OH Ari you get the evil star for the day.” she pulls a paper from her satchel and peels a black star from it, and sticks it to Ari.

Accomplice Teh Dave makes a mental note to avoid the benches for a while.

Masked Phantom Kestrel pauses, for one reason or another seemingly fighting back laughter. “That's, uh, I'm sorry to hear that.” She turns her head a little towards the sound of whispering, brow raised.

Rogue Cyberman g_rock forgets and SQUELCHes down on a bench “KidnAPPED? TO what purPOSE?” he daren't ask what he hopes the answer will be. . .

Aces Ari eyes widen and she bounces excitedly, see, she is evil! She got a star to prove it, wait till GK sees

Accomplice Teh Davescratches his head at Ari and Merlin. He and Teh exchange glances, as if asking each other if the other knows what's going on. Clearly, neither has a clue right now. They turn their attention back.

Improbable Leprechaun Akogi looks up to Dex and climbs back up to the roof she's sitting on. He then asks her, “So have 'cha finished 'da story yet or is 'dere still more waitin' to be done?”

Paste-pot calliaphone watches G sit. she says, “uh. err, G-” then thinks perhaps some things are better left unsaid. She edges away, looking guilty. Innocent. Looking innocent. of course.

Accomplice Teh Dave sneaks the bottle of acetone back to calli, who hadn't taken it back earlier. He gives her a wink and a shrug. Teh waggles its feaether in greeting to her.

Not-So-Evil Merlin looks to Dave and shrugs. “What are you looking at? You are just an accomplice. You can't know the deep and powerful plans of us super villains!” hmm. . . that was a bit harsh. “Em.. sorry?”

Accomplice Teh Dave gives a half-smirk. “Ah, but if I don't know the plans, how can I help with them?” He tilts his head. “Or know where to set up alibis?”

Molotov Spandex leans back on her hands and lets her feet sway over the edge. “I need more time, yes.”

Paste-pot calliaphone smiles at Dave and pockets the acetone. She winks at Teh.

Rogue Cyberman g_rock thinks Merlin needs to take a star from herself for apologizing “Lackeys, HENCHmen, and UNNAMed accOMPLICES NOTwithstandING, what's the ENDGAME?”

Not-So-Evil Merlin is the hander-outer of stars! not the taker-backer of them! “Ari! shall explain!

Improbable Leprechaun Akogi nods and says, “I won't forget about 'da deal. Me memory ain't 'dat bad. 'Dough she is bad at times but not always.”

Aces Ari wonders if that is The Accomplice's mystery wife?

Molotov Spandex looks him in the eyes, “I won't forget. You have my word.” She returns to watching the ground below.

Not-So-Evil Merlin gave away a villains secret Identity! GASP! She hands her starts to G. “Take them. . . I am unworthy to be the star giver. . .”

Captain Althea reenters, unsinged. Disaster averted.

A Very Short Madman sits up, and looks around as if to say “What? Fall asleep? Me? Never.”

Paste-pot calliaphone is a bit worried about G. he's talking funny. like he's got metal indigestion. she approaches, and tries pouring some acetone down the back of his pants, to help unstick him from the bench.

Captain Althea perks up at the mention of stars. She is a big fan of stars.

Rogue Cyberman g_rock takes the stars, looks at them and hands them back “THESE ARE non-approVED upgrades. YOU WILL dispense them. ALL nonupgraded HUmans are EQually UNWORTHY”

Aces Ari looks for Ari, her name keeps popping up but Ace has yet to see her

Improbable Leprechaun Akogi nods again to Dex and then asks, “What's 'da deal with a couple o' 'yer clanmates becomin' villians anyway?”

Accomplice Teh Dave shrugs, and goes to sit on a bench. He stops, pants hovering just inches above the glue layer. He instead opts to find a nearby piece of stone to perch on to listen and watch.

Masked Phantom Kestrel lets out a bark of laughter at G's words. “Unworthy? Hah! At least we won't be struck down by lightning as soon as a storm arrives.”

Rogue Cyberman g_rock jerks to his feet at the coldness down his backside “Mother of. . .erm. . .ah. . .I do not REQUIRE coolant, fellow VILLAIN. IF I were allowed to UPGRADE clannies, I WOULD SO upGRADE you for that. . .”

Not-So-Evil Merlin takes back her stars. “You are awfully cranky for something that's not supposed to be emotional.” She cheers herself up by sticking stars on RD 2.0.

Emperor Darth Tor NaGoth is a big fan of Star Wars

Captain Althea wordlessly rummages around in her bag and pulls out a lightning rod. She offers it to G.

Accomplice Teh Dave wonders how old Tor is that he remembers Star Wars. Dave does, but. . .that's another story.

Paste-pot calliaphone darts backwards out of reach, poking out her tongue. “nah-nah-nah-nah-nah, you can't upgrade me.” she suspects he can't upgrade anyone. all foil no trousers.

Molotov Spandex smiles at Akogi and shrugs.

Rogue Cyberman g_rock feels a draft, as his backside foil sticks to the seat. He would blush, if he weren't emotionless. That red cloring in his cheeks? Oh, that's just overheating.

Not-So-Evil Merlin has used up all her evil star stickers. “Blast. Must procure some more. ” she waves at her fellow Villains. “Have fun spreading Chaos and Destruction!” She bounds away!

Molotov Spandex pushes herself up to a crouch, “How did you get up here, Akogi? And. . .” She stands to look across the roof they're on to the next ones, “how far d'you think we could get on roofs?”

– Episode IV was first released in theatres…

Paste-pot calliaphone trips over her feet in her haste to escape, and stumbles into the stocks. releasing the current unfortunate. and rendering herself stuck in a way that acetone can't remedy.

Improbable Leprechaun Akogi looks to Dex and says, “I climbed me way up 'ere. 'Cha rarely see me teleportin' around 'ere.” He then looks down the row of roofs and says, ”'Dough only way of knowin' is by tryin'.”

Accomplice Teh Dave rifles through his pockets until he finds that bottle of lube Dex was talking about the last time calli was stuck in wood. He saunters over to her, ready to squirt some.

Improbable Leprechaun Akogi after saying that, he dashes off on the roof tops; pittying the people inside the buildings, though he doesn't show it.

Aces Ari waves to Merlin

Paste-pot calliaphone would blush. if she wasn't evil. and also, not given much to blushing.

Paste-pot calliaphone snrrks.

Aces Ari blinks as a Callia statue is finished in the square, she climbs on the base and looks it over

Accomplice Teh Dave holds the bottle of lube out to calli. “Need a squirt?”

Paste-pot calliaphone would, if she could read the minds of supervillains (which is of course silly, no-one can do that), assure Ace that the Callia in the stocks is no statue. that's the real deal.

Paste-pot calliaphone looks dubiously at the bottle. “lube? what grade?”

Aces Ari may have mixed things up there but she will deny it fervently

Paste-pot calliaphone will fervently deny everything.

Molotov Spandex closes her eyes for a moment, just steps and zoooms after Akogi.

Accomplice Teh Dave peers at the bottle. “c-, apparently.” It wasn't the greatest student, but it slipped by.

Molotov Spandex sees the edge of the roof approaching… the next is notsobad of a gap, leeeeeap, throws her weight forwards, DOOF on her hands, to push off again. zooom wherede go?

Improbable Leprechaun Akogi runs to the far edge of the roofs and he leaps towards the statue. Due to his short size, fails. He grabs onto the stocks for safety, releasing calliaphone through trapping himself.

Emperor Darth Tor NaGoth places a duck he found in the West Wing on top of Akogi's head.

Rogue Cyberman g_rock takes the opportunity, with everyone else distracted, to slip toward the gate, keeping his backside toward the buildings

Accomplice Teh Dave takes a startled step back as Akogi nearly hits him in his descent, and his hand slips, squeezing the lube bottle in the Leprechaun's direction.

Paste-pot calliaphone says to Dave, “man, jus' quit with the quips and do it already! i'm gettin neck-ache like this.”

Rogue Cyberman g_rock slips out the gate

Accomplice Teh Dave looks at calli, then Akogi, then the lube tube in his hand, then calli, then the lube tube, then Akogi, then dashes off.

Paste-pot calliaphone clearly isn't the most attentive of restrainees. she finds herself free, waves a thankee at Akogi, and goes to glue eboy to some grenades.

Aces Ari spots G just as he disappears and waves

Improbable Leprechaun Akogi hangs there with one of the fancy rubber ducks he made on his head and lube now staining his suit along with mud. He's not going to enjoy clean his suit.

Aces Ari looks for a spot that is glue free to sit, are there any?

Improbable Leprechaun Akogi moves one of his hands and points to the roof tops. He says, “If 'yer lookin' 'fer a place to sit, up 'dere.”

Emperor Darth Tor NaGoth conjures a glue grenade, and tosses it up onto the roof— just to be EEEvil

Aces Ari looks at where he points, that looks harder to climb then a tree and she doesn't have claws, still. . . it is a good vantage point for scheming

Molotov Spandex sees a grenade on its way and runs.

Aces Ari smiles at Akogi “thank you, when I take over everything I won't make you be a minion” she heads towards the roof when a glue bomb goes off

Master Sergeant Iriri steps through the gate, ears swiveling as he looks around cautiously.

Paste-pot calliaphone has not yet glued her cart. so in a sense, that's safe. but there's always the risk she might start driving it somewhere. not so safe.

Improbable Leprechaun Akogi swings back and forth in the stocks hoping it'll get him out somehow. He mumbles to himself, “Why did 'dey put 'dis beside 'da statue…”

Molotov Spandex hits the opposite roof-edge at full speed and leeeeeaps and thuds rolls-tumbles onto the next. Off she goes again.

Aces Ari frowns “you however, you'll be a…a…can opener!”

Paste-pot calliaphone looks up. “you can do that? what kind of can-opener?”

Paste-pot calliaphone prepares to have a wonderfully long and involved conversation with Ace about the different species of can-openers, and their respective habitats.

Improbable Leprechaun Akogi raises an eyebrow and says, “A can opener? In 'yer dreams. I'd never open cans 'fer 'cha.”

Aces Ari blinks, super villain slip up, boasting “um, a tin one?”

Improbable Leprechaun Akogi falls out of the stocks as some rookie seem to have rescued him from them. He falls face first into even more mud. His suit isn't having a good day.

Paste-pot calliaphone actually has a pet can-opener in her bucket! she gets it out to show Ace. unfortunately, there is some residual glue hereabouts. she bonds with the can-opener.

Aces Ari blinks again “I meant him” she points to Tor

Improbable Leprechaun Akogi gets up and wipes more mud off of his suit. He then wanders out of IC to change his suit.

Paste-pot calliaphone looks over to Tor, trying to pretend she hasn't accidentally just got stuck to her tin-opener. “you're into kitchen appliances generally? or just can-openers?”

Emperor Darth Tor NaGoth might, or might not be raising an eyebrow at Aces' threat, but he's definately laughing.

Paste-pot calliaphone is struck dumb by the Sheer Horror of Tor's Imperial Laughter. She shudders.

Emperor Darth Tor NaGoth replies, “I actually prefer lightsabers for opening cans.”

Aces Ari sticks her tongue out at the villianous fiend

Paste-pot calliaphone is intrigued. “what's a lightsaber? is it like, an ELECTRIC tin-opener?” she saw one of those, once. in a shop-window. she spent a whole day admiring it.

Emperor Darth Tor NaGoth projects a mental image of Aces with her tongue stuck to the tip of her nose.

Paste-pot calliaphone is bonked on the head by a fleeing day.

Aces Ari crosses her arms and scowls

Emperor Darth Tor NaGoth would shrug apologetically, but that would be rather un-villainous

Paste-pot calliaphone attempts to dislodge the tin-opener from her palm. she sighs deeply. why is she getting such a profound sense of deja vu about all this? she reaches for the acetone.

Aces Ari still has no where to sit, and now that she has a joker she is sure she could make Darth a can opener, but minions need to come first

Paste-pot calliaphone has now inhaled sufficient quantities of glue, and imbibed adequate amounts of acetone, that she should probably lie down for a bit.

Paste-pot calliaphone climbs into the back of her cart and curls up around her accordion. still clutching her tin-opener in one hand and glue-gun in the other, she drops off to sleep. Aces Ari decides to go interrogate her joker

Emperor Darth Tor NaGoth wisely decides that it time to go and do eeevil elsewhere.

I never did catch the end of this
germ_villainy.txt · Last modified: 2023/11/21 18:02 by

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