The Old Improbable Island Wiki

(1d21h) <GERM> Lucho el Gordo de Bernard dives into the clan halls, rolling forward and emerging into a showy 'ta-da', “Me llamo Lucho el Gordo! Estoy aqui­ de vacaciones!”

(1d19h) <GERM> The Blues Werewolf SinkOrSwim plays a small Latino riff on his guitar for the Luchador. Then slopes off to the jungle to kill stuff.

(1d18h) <GERM> Floating Head Fergus peers down from his nest at Bernard. “Great, he be spanish now. Oi! Senor Lucho el Gordo, haz sus vacaciones en un otro castillo, por favor. No quiero escuchar a espanol.”

(1d18h) <GERM> Floating Head Fergus gasps. “Ay dios mio! Yo estoy hablando espanol! No quiero hablar espanol!” Some of you can't understand what he's saying, but by from how cross he looks, you know he isn't happy with this.

(1d18h) <GERM> Jon Bishop winces as he steps in. Spanish.. .“Uh.. .er.. .hola?”

(1d17h) <GERM> Floating Head Fergus frowns more when he hears Bishop speaking Spanish now. “No, no hola! Por favor, habla ingles! Es posible que era me ayudar!”

(1d17h) <GERM> Floating Head Fergus is actually happy that a typo gremlin took the s off of sera, he'd gladly have them always talk for him and mess up his dialect than speak spanish.

(1d17h) <GERM> Jon Bishop grimaces. What the hell does that mean? “Eh.. .Que?”

(1d17h) <GERM> Floating Head Fergus shouts, as if being louder will make him more understood. “TU NO HABLA ESPANOL, POR FAVOR! NO HABLA ESPANOL!”

(1d17h) <GERM> Jon Bishop frowns. Don't speak spanish.. .you suck at it? Now Fergus is insulting his Spanish? It wasn't his idea…He points at the floating head. “Erm. ..Por que.. .insultas?! Por que?! Es. ..uh.. .dificil!”

(1d17h) <GERM> Floating Head Fergus sighs, he isn't being very clear, but Bishop is taking this completely the wrong way. “Tu hablas espanol bien, pero yo no puede habla ingles si tu no hablas ingles.”

(1d17h) <GERM> Jon Bishop facepalms. He really has no idea how he can even slightly understand this. His English is bad now, too? That was uncalled for.. .He grits his teeth. “No eres agradable!”

(1d16h) <GERM> Contestant jon runs in, completely out of breath. .. . “About time. .. Finally, after 70 days.. . whew.”

(1d10h) <GERM> Lucho el Gordo de Bernard re-enters, mangling English now, “Eyyy, Senors, why mek theese more dificil than eet 'as to bee?” to Fergus, “Meester, you soun' as eef you 'ave some problemas weeth me. Wee should talk!”

(1d8h) <GERM> The Blues Werewolf SinkOrSwim pads up stairs, shaking his maracas in homage. “Hey Concheeta, com queek, they geeveeng away free green stamps with the tequeela.. .”

(1d5h) <GERM> Lucho el Gordo de Bernard reacts, “Concheeeeeta, she is 'ere? Say eet is so! And thee greeen shieeld stamps?! Free weeth thee tecquila?! Caramba!”

(1d4h) <GERM> The Blues Werewolf SinkOrSwim looks up from his basket. “Si, Senor Bernard, the Concheeta she is here. But I am sad Senor, they steell have the stamps, but we have dreenk all of the tequila. Now we find only the Bourbon.

(1d4h) <GERM> Lucho el Gordo de Bernard umns, “Can we, eh, make mojitos then instead?.. . Um.. . I mean, wee can 'ave the mojitos, Senor Seenk. Where ees the Concheeta, eh?”

(1d4h) <GERM> The Blues Werewolf SinkOrSwim stands, and shakes himself. “The Mochjitos, Senor Bernard? Si, gracias! The Concheeta, she ees een the Kitchens. I don not think Senor Bruce he likes her too much though. ..”

(1d1h) <GERM> Lucho el Gordo de Bernard comes out of the kitchen, with a shocked look on his mask, “Ey, hombre, thee Concheeta isn' in thee keechen! Shee 'as been keednapped. Eet weel be that gringo, El Nacho Diminuto con Gambas!”

(1d1h) <GERM> Contestant jon (who will for the moment call himself El Chivito) enters the hall, wearing a giant sombrero.. . “Bienvenidos a Sabado Gigante! Viva El Chivito!!!”

(1d1h) <GERM> Lucho el Gordo de Bernard spits, “Ee 'as always 'ated mee. Always ee 'as been jealous of my '999 finishing move. You know, the one where I grab the top rope and then jump on their 'eads and then sweenging neckbreak 'em

(1d) <GERM> Contestant jon aka The Chiv shrugs his shoulders.. . “That's eeeet for theee spaneeesh that I know.”

(1d) <GERM> Lucho el Gordo de Bernard agrees, “Mee too, Senor, I'm but a poor cariacature of a Mexican Midget Wrestler! I know very leetle Spanish, but I'll 'ave to bluff it.”

(1d) <GERM> Contestant jon aka The Chiv laughs heartily.. . “Midget. .. Leetle Spanish. .. good one, eh??”

(1d) <GERM> The Blues Werewolf SinkOrSwim reappears, masked and spandexed. “Concheeta has been keednapped! Queek, we must act Senors, and I mean act as sometheeng other than Mexican Luchadors.. . We must be.. . Heroes!”

(1d) <GERM> Lucho el Gordo de Bernard raises a miniature fist into the air, and gives it a good pump for good measure, “Arriba! Arriba! We can be heroes!”

(1d) <GERM> The Blues Werewolf SinkOrSwim raises a tentative hand. “Senor Bernard, can we be heroes for a leetle MORE than one day? I only ask, because eet ees mid afternoon, and we need to find the Concheeta REEALY queekly if not.. .”

(1d) <GERM> Contestant jon aka The Chiv thinks for a moment.. Heroes? Don't think I've been one of those.. Nope. “Heroes it is!!!” he exclaims, whipping out his meat fork, spinning it around like a seasoned barkeep.

(1d) <GERM> Lucho el Gordo de Bernard looks pensive, as much as can be seen past his blue and white mask, “We may 'ave to steal time, or we may 'ave to swim like thee dolphins.”

(1d) <GERM> Lucho el Gordo de Bernard stops. “But first, Senors, we should 'ave a siesta. No good us hero-ing whilst tired!”

(1d) <GERM> The Blues Werewolf SinkOrSwim grabs his favourite weapon - a steel chair, and readies himself “Aieeee! Arrrriba! Epa Epa!! Okay, where are we to go looking first Senors?”

(1d) <GERM> The Blues Werewolf SinkOrSwim registers the previous command. “Si, senor, thees ees very wise. A siesta, then a fiesta, THEN we go searching.”

(1d) <GERM> Lucho el Gordo de Bernard sees the steel chair, and starts slapping his chest, Mickey Rourke style, “It me with it, Senor! Hit me hard.. .” he doesn't mention he's just uncovered the turn buckle.. .

(1d) <GERM> Contestant jon aka The Chiv quickly runs out, and moments later reappears with his wrestling mask and boxing gloves.. . Wait, doesn't he look a bit like Strongbad that way?

(1d) <GERM> The Blues Werewolf SinkOrSwim winds up, spinning like a dervish, yelling “Aiaiaiaiaiaa!!”. Then he stops, kicks Lucho el Gordo in the shin, and when he bends down, goes to whack him in the head with the chair.. .

(1d) <GERM> Lucho el Gordo de Bernard laughs! “Ey, Senor! You look like Strongbad! 'As no-one ever tell you this, Senor?”

(1d) <GERM> Contestant jon aka The Chiv tightens his mask, pulls at his gloves, and rushes as the wrestling duo. As he nears the pair, The Chiv swings, missing completely, and punches himself square in the face

(1d) <GERM> Contestant jon aka The Chiv's feet are knocked out from under himself. Seeing the glint from the steel chair being swung about, The Chiv quickly gets up to join back in the fray, and immediately.. .

(1d) <GERM> The Blues Werewolf SinkOrSwim dives past El Chiv, rolling into a ball, and bouncing off the ropes. He flies straight up into the air, coming down hard on his feet in the centre of the ring. “Aieee- ow!”

(1d) <GERM> Contestant jon aka The Chiv smacks his head on a table, having gotten up too quickly and not noticing the table just above his head.. . He turns around, eyeing the table… “Ok table… now THIS is personal”

(1d) <GERM> Lucho el Gordo de Bernard pulls a rather effective roll and comes back up fighting, seeing the two others engaging in some fisticuffs starts to climb the ropes, inexorably.. .

(1d) <GERM> Contestant jon aka The Chiv sees Sink fly past out of the corner of his eye. He ducks instinctively, connecting yet again squarely with the table.. .

(1d) <GERM> Lucho el Gordo de Bernard is still climbing.. .

(1d) <GERM> The Blues Werewolf SinkOrSwim poses in the centre of the ring, seemingly oblivious to the Luchador on the top turnbuckle.

(1d) <GERM> Lucho el Gordo de Bernard is still climbing.. .

(1d) <GERM> Contestant jon drags the table, with much difficulty of course, away from the ropes, and sees el Gordo ascending the ropes.. . Giving a thumbs up and pointing at his elbow, he motions towards the table..

(1d) <GERM> Lucho el Gordo de Bernard is still climbing… Only two more ropes to go.. .

(1d) <GERM> The Blues Werewolf SinkOrSwim suddenly stops posing, looking round in mock surprise. He swings, seeing El Chiv dragging the table. He wags a finger, “No senor, you do not fool El Lobo so easily!”

(1d) <GERM> The Blues Werewolf SinkOrSwim grabs for Jon, trying to set him up for the old powerbomb-through-the-flaming-table. Then puts him down, and scurries off out of the ring for some petrol and a match.

(1d) <GERM> Lucho el Gordo de Bernard calls from the ropes, “Ey, El Lupo Lobo, you're gonna go throu the table, Senor, El Chiv weel see to that!”

(1d) <GERM> The Blues Werewolf SinkOrSwim runs back in, sliding on his belly into the ring, gas can in one hand, flaming barbed wire 2×4 in the other,

(1d) <GERM> Contestant jon waits patiently for Lupo Lobo to return.. it's been awhile since his last powerbomb-through-the-flaming-table.. . good times..

(1d) <GERM> Lucho el Gordo de Bernard is now, at long last, on the turn buckle. He turns to face his crowd, and pulls the lycra off his shoulders, exposing his tiny, muscly chest. Beating the same, he roars and begins the final prep of:

(23h59m) <GERM> The Blues Werewolf SinkOrSwim patiently slops petrol across the cheap MFI pasting table. He turns to the nearby camera “Leesten Keeds, do not try thees at home, eet ees very dangerous. Ask your mum eef you want to use matches”

(23h58m) <GERM> Lucho el Gordo de Bernard 's famous finishing move, the 999 “RAAAAWWWR!” comes the call, “VAMOS! VAMOS!” he points at Sink and Jon, and leaps, aiming to get his tiny arms around their necks, setting up the 999

(23h58m) <GERM> Lucho el Gordo de Bernard misses.

(23h55m) <GERM> The Blues Werewolf SinkOrSwim looks shocked as the blue-and-white clad munchkin flies past him. So startled, he spins and accidently sets fire to the table!

(23h54m) <GERM> Lucho el Gordo de Bernard sambas, “Bollocks”

(23h54m) <GERM> The Blues Werewolf SinkOrSwim runs around the ring, the tail of his cape on fire, yelling “Aiaiaiaiaiaiaieeeeee!!”

(23h51m) <GERM> Lucho el Gordo de Bernard looks at Jon accusingly, “Senor, look what you deed!”

(23h49m) <GERM> Contestant jon plants himself face first into the flaming table.. He knew he shouldn't have gone to the suicide squad school of rassling.

(23h44m) <GERM> The Blues Werewolf SinkOrSwim dives, trying to duck and roll to put out the flames. He rolls, right at El Lucho el Gordo! HE takes out the midget at neck height, landing both of them in a pile on top of Jon and the table.

(23h41m) <GERM> Lucho el Gordo de Bernard screams, “I'm fucking on FIRE!” he ain't best impressed, and spins out from under Jon and Sink, trying to get his arms round at least one of their necks!

(23h39m) <GERM> Contestant jon is now wishing he hadn't put on the boxing gloves.. . he can't even remember how he got them on.. Eyeing the flames, he thinks he can see el Gordo coming at him with a choke hold..

(23h38m) <GERM> The Blues Werewolf SinkOrSwim stands, arms aloft. That MUST have been a 3-count… What do you mean, “there's no referee” ?

(23h30m) <GERM> Lucho el Gordo de Bernard takes Sink down by charging him round the back of his knees, Sink's head bounces off the canvas.. .

(23h28m) <GERM> Lucho el Gordo de Bernard can't quite stop himself and turn around, stepping, as he does, on a plate of burritos and going skidding out of the ring towards the kitchen.

(23h27m) <GERM> The Blues Werewolf SinkOrSwim lies, dazed, and slightly singed, groggily trying to get up.

(22h44m) <GERM> Lucho el Gordo de Bernard eventually emerges from the kitchen burrito staining his otherwise perfect blue and white lycra bodysuit.

(20h5m) <GERM> Floating Head Fergus merely sighs from up in his nest. “Ay carumba, es la hora para el corre de los idiotas?”

(16h53m) <GERM> The Delicious Zahnnie wanders in, clutching a handle of tequila and warbling, “Ay yi yi yi, canta y no llores! Porque, cantando SE ALEGRAN cielito lindo, los corazones.. ..”

(16h52m) <GERM> The Delicious Zahnnie looks around, “Hey, what's up with all the luchador stuff?”

(16h11m) <GERM> Returning Contestant sailorbowser looks around in awe at all the rasslin' going on around her. “Damn, I really need to come around more often,” she mutters to herself as she shuffles off to donate to the Clan Buffs.

(16h7m) <GERM> Returning Contestant sailorbowser comes back into the room, careful not to leave too many bits of herself on the floor. “This part of being a Zombie bloody sucks,” she comments to nobody in particular.

(15h2m) <GERM> Contestant jon aka The Chiv has finally caught his breath after all the rasslin', and didn't end up getting burned too terribly. The boxing gloves and mask are toast, though. ..

(8h33m) <GERM> The Blues Werewolf SinkOrSwim finally stands, exhausted and swaying. He turns to the nearest clannie with a weary grin “Hey Senor, deed I ween? I theenk I was the last to stay een the reeng. .”

(8h11m) <GERM> The Delicious Zahnnie burps and takes a shot of tequila, salt and lime appearing out of nowhere.

(8h2m) <GERM> The Blues Werewolf SinkOrSwim sambas, “`” Con tequila, it makes me 'appy, con tequila, me feel-a fine! Con tequila when the doors are open, and con tequila when they're calling time…””

(7h52m) <GERM> The Delicious Zahnnie slinks upstairs, dragging the mostly-empty tequila along with her, and heads for the showers.

(5h47m) <GERM> The Blues Werewolf SinkOrSwim sneaks off after her, dragging his blessed weapon.. .

(5h37m) <GERM> Private EvilEllie sambas, “First sip makes you well, before you know it's time, and you're saying to hell with this salt lemon and lime.. .”

(5h32m) <GERM> The Delicious Zahnnie makes a joke about blessed weapons. ;)

(2h48m) <GERM> Jon Bishop walks in, twirling his crossbow around. A bolt is fired into the back of the sofa. He winces, and pulls the bolt free, pretending that never happened.

(4h47m) <GERM> The Bingo Caller Bernard erupts from his chair, having dreamt all sorts of echoes and such like! “You crazy kids, WHAT ARE YOU ALL UP TO?”

(4h28m) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow looks up innocently at Uncle B. Well, I WAS catching a nap. Before that, I was inspecting the excellent racks added by Akitsu and Zahnnie.

(4h13m) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie trots downstairs and into the basement to admire Kit's racks. “Oh my, they're so well balanced, too!”

(4h) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow sashays, “I know, impressive, aren't they.”

(4h) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow stops to admire Zahnie's racks on the way back up.

(4h) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow sashays, “Although yours are quite nice as well.”

(3h55m) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie blushes modestly. “Want to go a round then?” she offers, gesturing at the balls. “The wood's all waxed and ready,” she gestures at the bowling lanes.

(3h52m) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow sashays, “I'd be delighted to go a round with you.”

(3h52m) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow offers Zahnie her choice of balls to play with.

(3h51m) <GERM> The Bingo Caller Bernard peers over The Shadow as he inspects the racks, “You gals have done yourselves proud. Look how well-polished they are! And, even more than this, Kit, yours are done alphabetically and Z, yours.. .

(3h51m) <GERM> The Bingo Caller Bernard continues, “well, I like the way the bigger ones are on the left hand side.” He looks as proud as punch, having inspected all of the lovely handiwork.

(3h43m) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie grins, “You should join us, Uncle!” she invites, gesturing for him to take his pick off the rack.

(3h42m) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie grabs a big green one and gives it a good heft. “Here we go!” she sings out, and then lets it slide down the alley, crashing into the midgets still setting the pins on the end.

(3h40m) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie cheers and gives herself bonus points.

(3h30m) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow grabs a shiny black one, and throws it mightily down the lane.

(3h30m) <GERM> The Bingo Caller Bernard follows the ball down the heavily polished lane. His cardigan has very little friction. Bernard's outstretched ball/ arm combination manages to knock down three pins.

(3h29m) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow crashes into the pins as he suddenly realizes that he's supposed to LET GO of the ball when he's throwing it.

(3h29m) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow sashays, “On the plus side, I got all the pins, and three midgets on the side.”

(3h24m) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie applauds. “Such enthusiasm! But you can't grip the balls quite so hard, you'll hurt yourself!”

(3h23m) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie demonstrates the importance of proper circulation in technique.

(3h19m) <GERM> The Bingo Caller Bernard tries letting go of the ball this time. It drops down behind him.

(3h18m) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow sashays, “Ah, thank you. My balls feel much more comfortable like that now.”

(3h18m) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow watches as his ball flies through the air and cheers as every pin falls to the floor.

(3h17m) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow notices that the pins fell down 3 lanes over. (3h10m) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie looks on in dismay as the big balls start knocking holes in her wood floor.

(3h2m) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow pats Zahnnie on the shoulder, saying “Don't worry about it, we'll get it fixed. Care for a drink to take your mind off it?

(2h56m) <GERM> The Bingo Caller Bernard comes round to that way of thinking, having a good rummage in the clan whisky sideboard (to which only he has the key, thanks Zahnnie) and emerging with a Bunnahabhain.. And three glasses.

(2h49m) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow sashays, “Oh, that DOES smell good, thanks Uncle B.”

(2h48m) <GERM> The Bingo Caller Bernard grins and clinks glasses.. . “Take that you sailor buggers!”

(2h32m) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie eyes the key and seethes in jealous resentment, but buries the thought and instead delights in some tasty whisky.

(2h32m) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie sighs in delight and clinks her glass back, “This stuff is tops, Uncle!” (2h26m) <GERM> Merlin returns from the library with several books on woodworking. She flops into a chair by the half-finished stage and reads up on construction techniques.

(2h24m) <GERM> The Bingo Caller Bernard offers Merlin a glass of clan whisky, slyly grinning at Z. “it's not overly peaty, Mer.”

(2h18m) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow sashays, “It really is quite nice. You should try some.”

(2h16m) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow whispers to Zahnnie “Don't worry, I'll nick it off him when he's napping, cut us each a copy, and it's all good. Just don't tell anyone.

(2h15m) <GERM> Merlin looks up. “hmm.. whisky?” she sets the book down and bounds over. “Well, perhaps a little.. .” She takes the glass. “Thank you, Uncle. Having fun with the bowling alley?”

(2h13m) <GERM> The Bingo Caller Bernard looks back at the bowling alley with some disdain, “It's a bit too skiddy for my tastes. I prefer them with a little more friction.” he pours everyone another large snifter.

(2h13m) <GERM> The Bingo Caller Bernard puts the key down the front of his underpants.

(2h10m) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie shoots a terrified look back at TheShadow, “Okay, but you're the one going spelunking!” she whispers back.

(2h9m) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie looks hurt by the insult to her lovely bowling alley. “Oh, but, but.. . you're supposed to.. . umm.. . maybe I should stock some bowling shoes. Yeah, that would do it!”

(2h8m) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie sips her whisky and chuckles at the thought of everyone bowling in big red rubber clown shoes. They will never know!

(2h8m) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow looks back at Zahnnie, also terrified.

(2h8m) <GERM> The Bingo Caller Bernard wonders about these wondrous bowling shoes. “How do they work?” hopefully provide a little grip in the run up. Seeing as how he's unable to use spikes.. .

(2h8m) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow whispers “Maybe I'll pay Lilith off to do that part for me”.

(2h7m) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie sketches a picture of huge clown shoes, “See, the extra room in the front allows you to pack a nourishing snack, and the rubber soles give extra grip!”

(2h6m) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie adds, “And if you drop the ball on your foot it's much more likely not to hit your toe.”

(2h3m) <GERM> The Bingo Caller Bernard does a little hop, skip and a jump, “Where do I sign up? They look brilliant.. .”

(2h2m) Lilith puts a piece of paper in The Shadow's top pocket. Fishing it out it reads, “Not on your nelly, mate” curses, foiled again.

(1h59m) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie winks, “Let me go requisition a couple pairs over at Sheila's, I think I saw some in the bargain bin, bet she didn't even know what they were for!”

(1h58m) <GERM> The Bingo Caller Bernard watches Zahnnie leave and head towards Sheila's, “Does she think we're green or just cabbage looking? Those were clown shoes! Well, my vote is we play along for a bit.”

(1h56m) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie returns a few minutes later with an armful of pairs of ridiculous clown shoes in blue, lavender, maroon-and-White spots, and one pair of fantastic teal.

(1h55m) <GERM> The Bingo Caller Bernard grins and shows Zahnnie over to the alley, “Zahnnie, will you show us how these help” tee hee, he thinks, this'll 'ave her.. .

(1h54m) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie chortles at her own illusionary cleverness.

(1h53m) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie smiles sweetly, “Oh no, why don't you give them a whirl first?” She offers him his choice of fine pairs.

(1h52m) <GERM> The Bingo Caller Bernard couldn't, he wouldn't know where to put one foot, “Zahnnie, M'dear, you're the expert.. . I'd surely fall over unless I could understand how to hold my body by watching someone model 'em.”

(1h50m) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow reads Lilith's note and shakes his head. “Back to the drawing board.”

(1h49m) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow leans against Zahnnie's racks, and watches the drama of the new bowling shoes unfold before him.

(1h48m) <GERM> The Bingo Caller Bernard turns to The Shad (excuse the diminutive) a grin playing on his face, “How about you, old man? You'd do well to model these, eh?”

(1h48m) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie sighs, how is she going to pull this off.. . hmm.. . she slides on the maroon-and-white spot shoes over her own shoes.

(1h47m) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie whispers something to Midget Pedro as she laces the shoes on tight, the Midget nods and dashes off, what a scamp he is!

(1h45m) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie grins, “Well, the first great technique with these is the traditional Lean.. .” she leans way forward in a smooth Michael Jackson anti-grav lean!

(1h44m) <GERM> The Bingo Caller Bernard is sniggering quietly to himself, 'Victory is mine.. .' he's megalomaniacally thinking.. .

(1h44m) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie leans all the way over to her rack and grasps a new ball, hefting it smoothly off the rack.

(1h43m) <GERM> The Bingo Caller Bernard makes a little 'cor' noise.

(1h42m) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie 's new ball is shiny and very heavy, kind of a metallic gleam to it. Letting out a high pitched war cry she Leans way forward and lets fly with the ball.

(1h42m) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow shrugs his shoulders, grabs the pair of blue shoes, and laces them on over his Pink Cotton Socks

(1h41m) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie 's posture is.. . well.. . really awful in the horrible ungainly shoes.. . but for some reason the ball wobbles its way back on course and smashes right into the center of the pins!

(1h41m) <GERM> The Bingo Caller Bernard starts to struggle with The Shad for the Teal shoes, he's seen 'em working, now he needs to test 'em in reality!

(1h40m) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie nods in approval, then growls at the 7-10 split.. . a loud scraping sound is heard and suddenly the ball darts left, then right, knocking both pins over, before wobbling back into the trough.

(1h38m) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie cheers for herself and attempts to jump up and down in delight, not getting very far with it. Midget Pedro crawls out of the alley with the ball, a strange big U-shape bulging in his pocket..

(1h38m) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie highfives Pedro and reclaims her ball. “And yup there you have it!”

(1h37m) <GERM> The Bingo Caller Bernard pushes Shad over, and grabs the Teal clown shoes, “Right, now for some Unca Bernard ACTION!” he declaims, and selects his ball, a big 'un, then begins his run up.. .

(1h37m) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie tries to dodge out of the way, trips over her clown shoes, and hurls herself madly.. .

(1h36m) SLAP, SLAP, SLAP go the clown shoes as Bernard approaches the lane, SLAP, SLAP, SLAP the ball is released, and runs.. . runs.. . runs.. . down the gutter.. .

(1h33m) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow grabs another ball from Zahnnie's rack, and walks towards the line.

(1h32m) <GERM> The Bingo Caller Bernard rugby-tackles Shad OOmPH “CAN'T HAVE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT PROPER SHOES OLD BEAN!”

(1h32m) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow , in perfect form, executes the four-step bowl

(1h32m) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie sails into her own rack! Balls fly everywhere! MADNESS AND DESTRUCTION!

(1h31m) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow sashays, “I HAVE proper shoes.”

(1h31m) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie ends up humorously wedged mid-rack, unable to budge due to the enormous shoes trapping her.

(1h31m) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow points at the Blue shoes on his feet

(1h31m) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow gets up, grabs both of Zahnnie's hands, and pulls her away from the rack

(1h29m) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie accidentally kicks Shad right in the kisser with her huge and ungainly shoes. “Help, help, I'm trapped in my own shoes!” she wails, “oh the humanity!”

(1h28m) <GERM> The Bingo Caller Bernard falls over himself as he tries to help, FLAT ON HIS STUPID FACE!

(1h27m) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow shakes his head, slightly dazed, and mutters something to the effect of “try to help a pretty lady out, and what do I get?”

(1h26m) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie struggles to her feet, rack still wedged around her mid-section. She turns to see what Bernard's done now and accidentally beans Shad with the rack in the class Clown-Stuck-in-Ladder gag.

(1h26m) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow looks at Bernard, and says “You take that foot, I'll take the other foot, and on three, we'll pull.”

(1h25m) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow grabs onto Zahnnie's right foot, and hangs on for dear life

(1h25m) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie wails, “Oh sunnuva! I've cursed us all with Clownitis!” Suddenly a pie is flung from somewhere and beans her right in the face. “LEMON CHIFFON!?!”

(1h25m) <GERM> The Bingo Caller Bernard grabs Shad, Zahnnie and Mer and invites 'em over to the seating area. “Come on, let's have a drink and forget about these bowling shoes.”

(1h24m) <GERM> The Bingo Caller Bernard 's trousers fall down as he walks along.

(1h23m) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie grimaces, “Uncle, let me help you with that, here, just hold this bucket of whitewash,” she accidentally pours it down his trousers as she tries to assist.

(1h22m) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie wails “Oh noooooo!” and tries to run away. A violent tumble later and suddenly Shad is caught in her rack too! ¹⁾

(1h22m) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie turns to and fro, frantically attempting to free him, but only succeeding in whipping him around dizzily.

(1h21m) <GERM> The Bingo Caller Bernard shleps white paint all over the clan floors, from somewhere, he's found a ladder he's carrying on his shoulder.

(1h21m) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow sashays, “While I'd normally like to be caught in Zahnnie's rack, this is definitely NOT what I had in mind.”

(1h20m) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow suddenly sees a glint of metal on the wooden floor near where Bernards pants fell.

(1h20m) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow sashays, “ZAHNNIE!!!!! THE KEY!!!!!”

(1h19m) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow starts running towards the liquor cabinet key, as Zahnnie's rack pulls him back, and he ends up face-first on the floor.

(1h19m) <GERM> The Bingo Caller Bernard looks at Shad and Zahnnie.. . “The key?”

(1h18m) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie turns, “WHERE?!” and slings Shad around, suddenly he's caught both in the rack and Bernard's ladder, joining them up in a big clown chain!

(1h17m) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie slips in the whitewash and starts skidding in a circle around Bernard like a giant carousel of mistakes!

(1h17m) <GERM> The Bingo Caller Bernard is diving and skittering (Snuv-like) towards the fallen key.. .

(1h16m) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow points, and says as he's swinging around “Right There!!!”

(1h16m) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie has only one recourse. She locks her body tight and LEANS into the curve, LEANS with all her might toward that key as she skids

(1h16m) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow grabs at the fallen key

(1h16m) <GERM> The Bingo Caller Bernard falls flat on his face, that custard pie in his hand splurging everywhere!

(1h14m) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow falls over Bernard, landing face first in the custard pie

(1h14m) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie is so close! Her fingers swing closer.. . closer.. . when suddenly WHAM! She hits a bowling ball and flies right out of her shoes, out her pants, out of the rack, and sails across the hall!

(1h14m) THE KEY, becoming bored of all this nonsense, skitters off down the corridor towards Bernard's office.

(1h13m) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie , clad only in her underpants and a lot of White Paint, flies neatly down the land and lands a perfect STRIKE!

(1h13m) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow sees the key for a minute, and then sees Zahnnie without pants.

(1h12m) <GERM> The Bingo Caller Bernard hollers, “THE KEY! AFTER IT! THE ONE HANDING ME THE KEY GETS A BOTTLE OF ARDBEG NEARLY THERE! Oh, and my eternal gratitude!”

(1h11m) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie is roused to consciousness by the Lane Midgets slapping her awake with a jeer of “Ey, outta the lane, gotta reset the pins, eh?” Groaning, she stumbles to her feet.

(1h10m) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie looks all bleary, “Which way did it go!?”

(1h10m) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow pulls himself out of Zahnnie's rack, and is now fully engrossed in Zahnnie's pantslessness, but out of the corner of his ear hears the word “Ardberg”.

(1h9m) <GERM> The Bingo Caller Bernard is waddling, trouser-bound down the ever-changing corridors.. . “COME ON KEY! Let's have you!”

(1h9m) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow runs after the key, calling over his shoulder “Sorry Zahnnie, you look great in underpants, but I'll only get a bottle of Ardberg once.”

(1h8m) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie looks down at her depantsed self and shakes her head in dismay, no time for modesty when the whisky cabinet key is at stake! Hollering a war cry she charges down the corridor.

(1h6m) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow mutters to himself something about “Wish I was still a Joker.. . Pull a bottle or ten out of nowhere.. .. pull Zahnnie's pants pretty well out of nowhere too.”

(1h6m) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie thinks she remembers a shortcut, ducks into a closet, and disappears with a pop!

(1h6m) <GERM> The Bingo Caller Bernard is barged into the clan hall walls as Zahnnie thunders past

(1h6m) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow shakes his head once “Stop thinking about Zahnnie's pants.. . key.. .. Must get key.. .”

(1h4m) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow sees Zahnnie nearing the key, and grabs the first thing he can see off the ground.. .

(1h3m) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow sashays, “Shit!!! Bowling ball. Oh well - one shot for it”

(1h3m) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow closes his eyes and hurls the ball down the hall towards Zahnnie and the key.. .

(1h) <GERM> The Bingo Caller Bernard sees a blue bowling ball heading down the disappearing corridor towards his face, and rolls, arthritically out of its way.

(59m30s) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow runs past Bernard, yelling over his shoulder “Sorry about that, old chap - not aiming at you.”

(57m24s) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie pops back out of the ceiling through a hatch just above that sneaky KEY!

(57m14s) <GERM> The Bingo Caller Bernard can't be having SHAD getting past 'im so up 'e gets and charges, headlong after him, trying to get his bony elbows in front

(56m54s) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie lands on the KEY with a flying drop tackle!

(55m52s) <GERM> The Bingo Caller Bernard watches the key move quickly away from Z, the change in air-pressure occasioned by the opening hatch sending it further down the corridor.. .

(55m25s) <GERM> The Bingo Caller Bernard watches Z fall flat on her.. . Well.. .

(53m55s) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie smashes into the floor and bounces, leaving a white paint outline of her body behind. “Whoops!” she cries as she bounds back to her feet and dashes after the key again.. .

(52m56s) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow thanks all that is sacred that he was a top-flight keeper in a previous existance, leaps and dives at the key

(52m39s) <GERM> The Bingo Caller Bernard squeals, “STOP THAT ZAHNNIE!” as he thunders down the corridor himself.. .

(50m46s) <GERM> The Bingo Caller Bernard finds himself being 'kept' by Shad.. . He tumbles arse over tit.. .

(48m15s) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow feels the key between his fingers

(47m56s) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow then feels Zahnnie's foot on said fingers.

(46m49s) <GERM> The Bingo Caller Bernard continues his tumble, begun by Shad as he expresses shape upon shape in his madcap journey, he collapses into Zahnnie and Shad.

(45m8s) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie lands in a messy white heap with the others, and dagnabbit, the key slips right out of their clumsy fingers and flies off again!

(43m31s) <GERM> The Bingo Caller Bernard looks on after the key with an expression of resignation, will the key ever be caught? Up he gets, with some difficulty, Shad being sat on his back, and Zahnnie's clown-shod foot too

(42m25s) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow finds himself on top of the pile of body parts, and quickly extricates himself from the pile, setting off at a run after the key.

(41m29s) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow mutters to himself “Why is it that EVERY time Zahnnie has no pants, I find myself completely occupied by something ELSE?”

(41m28s) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie managed to escape her shoes a page or so back, she would point out, only she's too busy being upended by Bernard and landing in an undignified heap. This is getting awfully familiar!

(40m12s) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie winks, she wouldn't worry if she were Shad, her wardrobe malfunctions pretty regularly.

(39m46s) <GERM> The Bingo Caller Bernard hmns, yes, Benny-Hillesque chase scene apart, this has been going on for some time.. . Bernard realises. He watches his two clan mates chasing the key, then comes to a conclusion.. .

(36m48s) <GERM> The Bingo Caller Bernard pulls a spare key out of his pocket and tear-arses back towards the clan liquor cabinet to empty it and hide all of its contents away

(36m14s) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie skids around a corner and grins, the key's caught in a dead end now! “No escape for you!” she crows and advances.

(35m49s) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow finally catches up, panting, with the key, and snatches it out of the air where it was improbably floating

(35m20s) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie captures the prize! “YES!” she cheers, leaping about excitedly! “Come on Shad, let's go, let's go!”

(35m1s) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow looks at Zahnnie, key in hand, and asks “Did you see what he just did?”

(34m7s) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow sashays, ”“I get the feeling there will be much drunkenness from this chase. And ideally more wardrobe malfunctions too”

(33m22s) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow winks at Zahnnie

(32m10s) <GERM> The Bingo Caller Bernard is quite peacefully withdrawing the clan liquor from its security-breached cabinet, and is ferreting it away in a number of rather clever hidey-holes. However, ever the champ, he offers his two chums

(31m7s) <GERM> The Bingo Caller Bernard does, a nice bottle of Laphroaig apiece to take the tang off their enormous and soul-destroying failure. Of course, if they ever found the sixty or seventy hidey-holes, they'd locate a nice bottle.. .

(30m41s) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie can't see the liquor cabinet from here, of course!” “Hurry, let's get this key copied, stick to the plan!” She hustles him over to the crooked locksmith in Squat Hole.

(30m33s) <GERM> The Bingo Caller Bernard considers, or two, of fine GERM loveliness.

(28m52s) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie returns a short while later, chuckling madly, winks at Shad.

(27m55s) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie swings by to retrieve her clothes before meeting up with Uncle. “Oh, we finally found that key,” she hands him the original.

(26m32s) <GERM> The Bingo Caller Bernard pops the key doon his troosers.

(26m20s) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow knows he was beaten this time, and accepts the bottle of Laphroaig from Bernard, pouring a glass for himself, Zahnnie, and Uncle B.

(25m52s) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie admires the fine Laphroaig, “Ooh, what a nice gift!”

(25m39s) <GERM> The Bingo Caller Bernard also hands Zahnnie a nice peaty bottle of Bruichladdich and retains a bottle of Ardbeg Nearly There for Shad.

(25m14s) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie remains blissfully unaware of their current failure, poor thing, probably best not to explain it to her just yet. She sips the whisky with a contented sigh.

(24m28s) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie smiles and leans forward to give Uncle Bernard a sweet kiss on the cheek. “You're the best,” she says confidently, “I love Bruichladdich!”

(24m20s) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow winks back at Zahnnie, and offers her the other bottle of Laphroag.

(22m43s) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie gives a great hooray! “I should probably go clean up the mess before the paint dries,” she sighs, “Why don't I go head off and do that then.. .”

(21m17s) <GERM> The Bingo Caller Bernard shakes his head, his comb-over flapping in the breeze, “Oh no, let Bruce do that.. .” he tops up Shad and Z's glasses with extra lovely Islay peatiness.. .

(19m30s) <GERM> Floating Head Fergus floats in and, spotting the others, floats over to them. ” 'ello me mates! Wha' be crackin'?“ He pretends not to notice the open bottle of liquor, a difficult task..

(18m45s) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow also gratefully accepts the bottle of Ardberg proffered by Bernard, and raises his glass to a well played chase.

(17m39s) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow pours Fergus a dram as well, saying “Just enjoying a game of bowling with a couple of friends.”

(17m24s) <GERM> The Bingo Caller Bernard offers Fergus a snifter of Bruichladdich, share the wealth!

(16m27s) <GERM> Returning Contestant EvilEllie saunters in, puts the kettle on, and tries to ignore the hard liquor going around.

(15m55s) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie waves happily at Fergus, riding a nice toasty wave of whisky-tipsy at this point. “Oh Fergus, how are you? We just had a little bowling excitement, my my it was interesting.. .”

(15m27s) <GERM> The Bingo Caller Bernard grins at Ellie, “Hey you! Congratulations on your tea-dances with Horatio! Would you care for a drink.. .? And hey, let Bruce get that cuppa for you!”

(15m26s) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie waves at Ellie as well, then checks Bernard's feet.. . is he still wearing the teal clown shoes?

(14m13s) <GERM> Returning Contestant EvilEllie grins, “Cheers Bernard!”

(13m26s) <GERM> Returning Contestant EvilEllie waves back at Zahnnie

(13m7s) <GERM> Floating Head Fergus gratefully accepts the glasses of alcohol. “Bowlin' ,eh? Sounds like t'were fun. Iffen me e'er learns 'ow ta stop floatin', me'd like ta play, me wouldn't e'en need ta use someone else's balls!”

(11m52s) <GERM> Returning Contestant EvilEllie knocks back the whisky and purrs contentedly.

(11m25s) <GERM> Lady Akitsu knew that following dear Uncle would lead to promising and hilarious results~! She's right proud, she is.. . although her stays are getting a bit tight at the sides from gut-laughing so hard.. .

(10m38s) <GERM> The Bingo Caller Bernard stands up, ushers everyone to sit down whilst he refills their glasses with gorgeous Islay malt, and says, “Look, Zahnnie and Shad were both playing with their balls, and I joined in, but dropped..

(10m) <GERM> Floating Head Fergus nod-like gestures to Bernard. “Me guess ye could say tha', me'd just roll meself down tha lane. Me'd be me own balls instead o' usin' someone else's.”

(9m39s) <GERM> The Bingo Caller Bernard continues, “My trousers by accident, and bugger me if the key didn't get away, and the whitewash.. . well, it got everywhere, look, you can see those two smudges, that's where Zahnnie's bre.. .

(9m35s) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie smiles sweetly, makes a space on the couch next to her for Kit to come snuggle. “Ooh Kit, I've always loved that dress on you.. . I don't know how you manage to avoid wardrobe malfunction so well!

(9m6s) <GERM> The Bingo Caller Bernard stops and looks up at the assembled GERMANS, “What?”

(9m1s) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow sashays, “Technically, I think that we were almost playing with each other's balls.”

(8m54s) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie looks scandalized by the talk of her whitewash boobprint!

(7m53s) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow says with a sly grin “I think it's mostly due to a great misfortune for the rest of us”

(7m31s) <GERM> Floating Head Fergus raises his eyebrows in surprise. He really wishes he was there to see them all playing with Z's balls.

(7m22s) <GERM> The Bingo Caller Bernard is polishing Shad's balls with his own grotty towel,

(7m19s) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow sashays, “Well they're very nice boobprints.”

(6m44s) <GERM> Lady Akitsu arches a brow and smirks knowingly at Zahnnie. “Oh, but I do experience it occasionally. You're just not around to witness it.” She smiles, staying put in her place next to the sleeping Jon.

(6m39s) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow sashays, “Thanks Uncle B - just be sure to leave 'em shiny”

(6m19s) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie shakes her head in shame, “Why do these things always happen to me.. .?” She takes another big sip of whisky and contemplates the ways of the world.

(5m33s) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie does remember that one Incident.. .!

(4m55s) <GERM> Lady Akitsu grins wide, a hint of fang peeking from the corner of her lip. “It does figure you'd get stuck in your own rack though, dear. I told you they were far too big, but Heaven forbid you listen.”

(4m3s) <GERM> Jon Bishop steps in, ready for a break.

(3m47s) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow says to Akitsu “Then I shall have to make a point to be there for the next time.”

(3m23s) <GERM> The Delightful Zahnnie hangs her head in shame, “It was the Clownitis Curse! Uncle.. . I have to 'fess up.. . they're really clown shoes.” She giggles a little at the memory, even as shamed as she is.

(3m18s) <GERM> Lady Akitsu waves to Bernard, all sweet smiles and lace. “Dear Uncle! Please, do sit with us and have a spot of tea, would you?”

(2m9s) <GERM> Lady Akitsu smirks, giving a wink along with a slight nod to the side. “You can try, handsome, but I'm not so sure Jonny will appreciate it much.”

(1m35s) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow sashays, “Ah, well then, I'd hate to offend Jonny.”

(46s) <GERM> King of AceHigh The Shadow says to Zahnnie “Clown shoes? It figures. No bloody much wonder I couldn't bowl in them. But the slapstick was great.”