Fairly unremarkable before the island, G was a 20-something office worker from Denver, Colorado, USA. He had never done much worth mentioning, other than just trying to help out where he could. He always had a feeling, though, that the world was a much odder place than it let on.

This suspicion was confirmed when the network decided to film the popular “II: Most Hilarious Abductions Special” for sweeps week. While taking his nightly 11 pm walk through a grassy field by his home, he fell into an open manhole cover that wasn't there the night before.

When he woke up, he was lying on the jungle floor in nothing but his sneakers, one of which had a pebble in it. He took it off for a moment, then turned away. When he turned back, it had either been transformed into or replaced with an exquisitely crafted air guitar. ¹⁾

He spent the next several days galavanting through the jungle and being very, very quiet. He was sent to the failboat a good many times, where he met Tyr and Sil, along with a number of others, through the cocoa booth. Since then, he has witnessed a number of plotlines unfold, and taken a very ancillary or observatory role in a few, including Joey and Xavier's chess game, and defending 404 from void-beasts alongside Gorbert and Kestrel.

Has been, to date, Human, Badly Dubbed Human ²⁾Clumsy Kittymorph, , uneventful zombie, Color Change Kittymorph, Giant Typo Gremlin, Giant greyscale 2-dimensional typo gremlin ³⁾, a Kittymorph living out the last of Napoleon's Hundred Days, a particularly clumsy and Midget-y Midget Ninja, and is currently a 16-foot tall robot powered by clockworks and a steam boiler. This form has no mouth, and communicates through pictures formed from the steam released through his hat, He also seems to have a surprising internal manufacturing capability, staffed by unfortunate gremlins.⁴⁾ He recently lost a leg to a fight with an Octophant on the failboat, which was replaced by half a small oak tree. ⁵⁾

G has, at times, had a few precious improbable items. His air guiter was the first. This instrument can approximate any string instrument, depending on how it is held and played. He also found a neverending bottle of Dalmore 62 single highland malt while cleaning the first Panthzer he ever encountered. Since becoming a robot, his metalworking skills have manifested as an unspecified number of compartments in his body that contain any number of useful/nonuseful items, which he loves to give as gifts.