The Old Improbable Island Wiki

Let it be known that these are the tenets of the First Improbable Island Of Eris Esoteric:

1) Eris may not be the Watcher, but it's funnier if you think she is.

2) Chaos has no Lords, it just has a nutty Goddess.

3) Since Improbable Island is insane anyway, the only spiritually healthy response is to be weirder than it is.

4) If we are all just weird enough, someday the Improbability Drive will look around, shrug, and give up, letting us all go home or at least get on with what passes for our lives.

5) There are two schools of thought as to what happens next. Toaster Pastry ImpErisians ¹⁾ believe that the Improbability Drive will become a toaster oven. No, Really, You Use It On Your Face ImpErisians believe it will become a personal massager. ²⁾ ³⁾⁴⁾

6) Crazy Audrey is Bast ⁵⁾⁶⁾⁷⁾ in disguise. Unless she's not.

7) ImpErisian salvation is for everyone. Even the midgets. ⁸⁾

8) The standard Discordian prohibition against eating Hot Dog Buns is lifted for ImpErisians. However, they may not, under any circumstance, on pain of death, dismemberment, and snubbing, consume the horror that is CANNED CORNED BEEF.

Given by my hand,

Supreme Pope Zog The Disturbed

High Prelate, First Improbable Island Church of Eris Esoteric

¹⁾

This is short for Improbable Island Erisians. It does not, in any way, imply demonic heritage.

²⁾

This is the part that results in the word esoteric.

³⁾

And no, it's not a misspelling of erotic.

⁴⁾

but it should be

⁵⁾

The Egyptian goddess of cats, in case you slept through mythology in school.

⁶⁾

What sort of school has a mythology class?

⁷⁾

And how can I enroll my children there?

⁸⁾

Aphrodite likes certain - characteristics of the Midgets, and asked Eris to let 'em play.