The Old Improbable Island Wiki

Originally appeared on the island as an old Able II computer monitor strapped to the top of a VelociRacer RC car. Things only got stranger from there. Rather than attacking contestants like a normal monster, the amalgamation of outdated technology began fighting with other monsters, collecting requisition tokens to improve its systems. During this time, it began conversing with the contestants, albeit in a limited fashion.

While its original design implied that it could, in fact, be being controlled by an outside source, it seems to be able to operate in any environment regardless of “reception interference.” The fact that all parts of it should have been destroyed in the EMP also implies that it is merely something mimicking electronic parts, much as many jungle creatures mimic various hundred-year-old pop culture references. Some forms have been less electronically-minded and still seem to retain some form of the same memories and personality (in theory), and are still active and mobile despite their standard-world counterparts being even more reliant on an outside user to utilize them.

When initially asked what its name was, it responded with a string akin to a MAC address - AB:13:11:CA:?B:07. At first it seemed to display “panic” when unable to determine the missing character's value, until enforcing a “safety disable” of some form of logic handling. After this it opened up somewhat, reacting less as a matter of preprogrammed etiquette and more genuinely emotional to an extent. It befriended Temper and Amaz0n during this time, who gave it the name “Bart.” It began to idle closely with Arodang, Kelwine, and Doc, who later formed the Lion-Hunting Task Force.

Its second form, an amalgamation of children's toys, spoke by selecting voices off of a ToyPro Speak'n'Say dial. The dial, representing each of the known major races on the Island, had voices that were neither that of contestants on the Island, nor similar to each other, each having unique qualities - each had, to some extent, a personality of its own.

• The Robot voice was similar to its speech as its original form and as its Nonstandard form (See below).
• The Midget voice was, presumably, the 'true' voice of the form itself, given its nature.
• The Kittymorph voice matched the voice of Ricky Juarez, a Squirrelmorph form of Bart (See far below).
• The Joker voice seemed amused by words and dialect, preferring to mangle words to give him a reason to speak more syllables. When speaking in this voice, the comments were often more focused on playing tricks than resolving situations.
• The Mutant voice was oddly more friendly than the Kittymorph, seeming more simple-minded and centered on trying to be kind and caring.
• The Human voice was relatively neutral - In a conversation, it tended to try to be the voice of reason.

Beeps/Bart also complained loudly and repeatedly about it having an issue of monsters being predisposed to attacking it, though it generally came out the victor. He had numerous extended absences that were later explained as periods in which it was too swamped with monsters to reach an outpost.

The third form (Later called the 'Nonstandard' form in his notes) similarly followed the concept of the race it was attempting to be - While the new form was technically more adept at tasks, the appearance of it was somewhat disturbing, and watching it move caused some to become a bit queasy. The various parts making up its form (Something similar to the BigDog robot, and an Omega-series Admiral monitor) were both upgrades from its previous form. The processing speed seemed noticeably improved¹⁾, as it no longer paused to contemplate information given to it. It was also the first instance in which it began to attempt to display a personality of its own. The form seemed to be aware of its own unwieldiness, as it mentioned experiencing something akin to motion sickness in its early stages, brought on by its lurching movement. It expressed interest in the customs of the living, as well as expressing something similar to anxiety and excitement when considering its upcoming battle with the Drive.

At this point, Bart²⁾ was changed to a system that used colored silicon sand to form a 'body' for itself. Lacking any sort of creativity of its own, the system used the only image it had on its theoretical hard drive before re-activating.

The image was of an Omer Squirrel, unofficial mascot for Omega computer series, drawn by Ricky Juarez. When it generated him, it also created the artist tag/copyright info, which Bart³⁾ mistook for its own name, and a belt.

His appearance was that of a squirrelmorph, dressed in clothing of the era the image was from - Simple khaki pants and a baggy t-shirt. He seemed aware of current events, as he claimed to be a Memepunk, a style that had come to some popularity in the late 2060s which entailed the use of turn-of-the-century technology as accessories.

Bart - Now Ricky - stumbled into NewHome, as confused as any rookie would be.

However, the task of controlling a solid body was too taxing for the system, and it couldn't access its archived data, or spend too much time processing things, resulting in 'memory loss' and a generally flightiness. He didn't really think about the fact that he didn't remember where he came from, or why he was on the island. Because everyone accepted him as a rookie, he just assumed he was one. Over time, he began to mention things that Ricky could not have known, as well as blurting out odd phrases.⁴⁾ Given the opportunity to paint, he recreated the original picture of himself from memory and seemed perturbed by it. He wandered out to forage for salvage, and ran into the Drive⁵⁾⁶⁾⁷⁾. Affecting its form once more, the system was changed into one that used less processing power to display.

Having regained the ability to access its ROM, Bart immediately sought out its clanmates and explained what had happened. Now remembering much more of their history, it had been trying to get back into the normal day-to-day life of the Island, though now with a body to convey emotions, a speaker to talk with, and some semblance of its own personality. However, this form ended up being the one that bothered it the most - Able to simulate human activity, but not actually manipulate or interact with objects, it became increasingly obsessed with this issue. He also expressed concern that whatever process of “attempted upgrades” was nearing its end, and that if changed again, it would be a far more drastic change.

As Bart awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, he found himself transformed in his bed into a small rabbit. The first thing that startled him about this change was that he woke up, as he had never really been asleep before. With that setting the tone for the day, this was hardly the worst of the things that had happened to him, and he rather took it in stride.

More than a little excited by the fact that he finally had a true physical body, he took up great interest in several experiences he'd only watched as a robot. He took up cooking, with a focus on creating new dishes from meat off island monsters. He spent much of his early days in Maiko's, having watched as a robot, but finally able to do as a rabbit. He now has a diploma for completing all lessons available, though he hasn't actually thought to read it.

Now, as always, an island monster, he found himself compelled to use the weapon he was meant to - originally opting for a Plasma Gun, which did seem to fit him well, once the holster had been re-tailored to fit across his back. It was around this time that he also brought up something that had been previously left unmentioned. Part of the mentality in monsters was a mental urge to attack contestants. As a robot, he had been able to reasonably ignore these thoughts, having watched single contestants take down Titans with little more than a toothbrush and simply not wanting to have the same treatment applied to himself. However, now governed by the somewhat less logical assortment of feelings, emotions and various glands, he found it somewhat harder to ignore the urge, which had been getting stronger with time. Adding in the fact that he was becoming one of the contestants with advanced weaponry, and the simple fact that some of the rookies he'd encountered really seemed like easy targets on account of coming off as completely insane, he has expressed concern that the instinct may overpower his judgement at some point in the future.

After several months of relatively quiet living, Bart received a note. The note was cryptic at best⁸⁾, and told him simply to “lead the resistance.” While he's still not entirely sure what happened, he did, in fact, end up leading a group of contestants against some impolite Zombies. During this time, he was forced to use his Plasma Gun as an explosive, half-detonating it to act as a propellant to help him escaping an incoming swarm. The Plasma Gun has since been retired, having been a repeated danger to the Kittania walls^9)10)11)12), and no longer being a safe tool of combat in its present state¹³⁾. Bart burned off a fair bit of fur during his escape, which has since grown back, though the fur is seemingly permanently stained an off-white color.

Curious about the world created on the Island, and having a collected database of most of the monsters he'd fought as a robot, Bart sought to try to explain the way the Island worked. Namely, he began researching Improbability, its causes, its effects, and its sources. He took up a workspace under a large billboard erected near NewHome, and has since begun using it in his experiments - The board's display is now affected by an array on the interior, which applies a constant and even field of improbability across the surface of the billboard. His current aim is to weaponize Improbability in a slightly more controlled manner than the Improbability Bomb, though he's had little success in actually opening one to see what makes it tick.

For the hell of it, here's a compendium of all of Bart's avatars in since joining.

Left to right, top to bottom:

Able II, Skooltime Collection, Skooltime Collection (Halloween edition)¹⁴⁾, Robotics Division,

Robotics Division with hat- and scarf-wearing action, Ricky Juarez, FloorGo Mk I, FloorGo Mk II, Non-Malefactor

This entire row was the result of Bart mucking about in the Kolojang's Imaginatorium.

Arctic Hare¹⁵⁾, Resistance 1¹⁶⁾, Resistance 2¹⁷⁾, Resistance 3¹⁸⁾ Post-Resistance 1¹⁹⁾,

Post-Resistance 2, Post-Resistance with Debris Launcher Mini shown.

He really is a bit of a jerk. A short fuse and low tolerance for ignorance make him difficult to get along with at times, though he's happy to help anyone who manages to get on his good side.

Scripter by day, few know that Beeps is also an unstoppable force of code-poking and general PHP muckery. Actually, anyone who talks to him knows this. He likes to talk about it. And will likely subject you to his recent thoughts if you stand in one place too long. He's made a few tools for the Island contestants:

http://www.bitwise-guy.com/improbable/ci/preview is his version of a text previewer, with the font size set up to match the Island's.

http://www.bitwise-guy.com/improbable/ci/map has a semi-up-to-date display for locating dwellings on the island.

http://www.bitwise-guy.com/improbable/ci/map/location/13/8 or some other set of X, Y coordinates on the map will mark that square when the map is loaded - Useful for showing people where your dwelling is.

http://bitwise-guy.com/improbable/beepsmod/ houses a semi-complete version of the Island, used for bugtesting, module development, and testing of feature tweaks. This is run by Beeps, and though changes made are offered up freely, they may not make it into the actual Island code.