Okay guys, so I'm working on a thing where you can love and flatter each other by sending Mementos with embedded stats like “+1 Pun Master.” Probably because I've been reading JaneMcGonigal's book and it's made me come over all¹⁾ Community Game Love.

I need a list of positive attributes that either your character or you as a person would like associated with you. It'd be trivial to just Google for “positive attributes” and gank stuff off a list, but this is Improbable Island after all, and the attributes need to be at least a bit witty or interesting to read.

So, each attribute should be a couple of succinct words or one interesting word (for example, “Witty” is okay, but “Witwrangler” or “Wicked Wit” is better), and a very brief (like, one or two sentences) description or elaboration.

The mods and I came up with sixty between us, and I did little descriptions for a few of them; I don't know how many attributes I'd like to have, but the idea is to crowdsource, say, a couple of hundred, and then whittle it down to just the very best of them.

• Positive attributes only. Nobody wants to receive a present with a +1 in being a smelly dramallama with bad teeth.²⁾³⁾⁴⁾
• Don't suggest that we just let players input their own attributes - 'cause then it wouldn't be special, would it? Games need restrictions, or they're not games.
• Try to keep it alphabetical⁵⁾, and try to keep the format consistent. I'm gonna find-and-replace up a PHP array out of this, y'see.
• Likewise⁶⁾,⁷⁾ keep⁸⁾ your⁹⁾ traditional¹⁰⁾ incessant¹¹⁾ footnotes¹²⁾ out¹³⁾ of¹⁴⁾ the¹⁵⁾ main list¹⁶⁾ -¹⁷⁾ they'll¹⁸⁾ just¹⁹⁾ make²⁰⁾ it²¹⁾ hard²²⁾ to²³⁾ work²⁴⁾ with²⁵⁾ my²⁶⁾ code editor²⁷⁾²⁸⁾ later²⁹⁾ on³⁰⁾.³¹⁾³²⁾
• Don't worry too much about making things that are a bit similar to other things. Like I said, we're gonna go through and just use the very best ones anyway.
• If you find yourself starting your suggestion with “Good at. . .” then try again.
• You don't have to use alliteration, but it helps.³³⁾
• Likewise puns. Puns are always good.³⁴⁾

• A Bad Joker; Spends more time in VOLUNTARY QUARANTINE than fighting monsters.
• Abs Solver; With enough applied muscle or flexing, they can fix any problem. They accomplish this feat regularly!
• Action Sequencer; This person knows how to set up a jaw-dropping action scene. Lights, camera, AWESOME!
• Ad-lib Mad Lips; Never prepared, never needs to be.
• Admirable Critchton; How can he DO all of that?
• Admirable Critchton; Like a Mary Sue, only nicely done.
• Adventurous Extrovert; This thrill-seeking contestant is never afraid to try something new and exciting.
• Agile Acrobat; Voted most likely to be found on a trapeze.
• Always the Altruist; So generous they'll give you the shirt off their back. And their trousers, if you ask nicely.
• Armament Armani; So what if I'm wearing the GNP of four small countries, I look gooood.
• Artful Analyst; They've got you read like a book, and they KNOW what did you do with the bodies.
• Awesomely Organized; When you want something done but don't know where to start, this contestant keeps a cool head and get everything sorted.
• Bald Soprano; She always wears her hair in the same style.
• Barefoot Bokononist; Nice nice, very nice. “Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter can be said to remedy anything”.
• Barking Mad; Some contestants are completely bonkers, and this one is bonkers in a good way.
• Behinder Minder; You like to look and you look at what you like.
• Boo Radley; The best kind of idiot friend you could ever want. Great in a pinch.
• BRAAAAINS; Exemplar of the Zombie race. Stagger on, friend!
• Brilliant Buffoon; Sultan of Slapstick. Classiest of Clowns. Gives silliness a bright, bright sheen.
• Buck Nekkid Brawler; Is there any other way to fight?
• Buxom Wench; Emily's got competition.
• Calm and Still; This contestant shows a Zen-like ability to keep their head while all around them are losing theirs.
• Camera Charmer; “Alright, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up.”
• Camera Shy; I am the very model of a modern mutant.
• Can't Touch This; Stop Stand Still Time!
• Carnievore; Poker face? Uncanny. Riddling? Savvy. Lives for the games.
• Chainsaw-Chukster; Loves uncertainty in battle.
• Chainsaw-chuk Aficionado; Where others fear pain, you embrace it.
• Charlie Chaplain; you execute pratfalls with religious fervor and grace.
• Charming Cheek; You want to ruffle their hair for everything they say.
• Charming Smarm; This contestant can charm the pants off a brass monkey. When was the last time you saw a brass monkey, anyway?
• Cocoa Connoisseur; Not only do you know all 137 varieties, you also know where they're from and their mothers' maiden names.
• Cool Cat; pretty fly for a fictitious guy.
• Couch Potato; Prefers the banter couch, almost to exclusivity. Always lurking thereabouts, ready to pounce with interesting and witty comments when you ask if anyone is there.
• Crank Case; Your grumpiness makes us smile more than Grouchy puppets and tetchy Dwarves.
• Crate Hunter; “Shhh! Be vewwy vewwy quiet.. I'm hunting cwates!”
• Crate Masticator; Tears through the crunchy shell to get to the tasty filling.
• Crate Whisperer; Crates come out of the woodwork for you.
• Crate Wrangler; Crates desperately wish to be anything but a crate when you come near.
• Creative Genius; This contestant has all the best ideas, and knows what to do with them.
• Chronic Chrononaut; Newdays are just a blur to you.
• Culinary Cunning; From kitchen to campstove, this contestant is a cookery expert.
• Cunning Linguist; Possessor of multi faceted laughing gear.
• Cuddle Monkey; They just love to be close, hugs are never in shortage.
• Cute Butt; Sometimes it's just gotta be said.
• Daredevil; Point them in the direction of the impossible!
• Dark Horse; This contestant has hidden depths that you'll only find by being close to them.
• Dashing Romantic; This contestant goes beyond flowers and chocolates - but we're not ones to kiss and tell.
• D'awww; Just too cute for words.
• Dazzling Dancer; Captivating.
• Delightfully Mad; Bonkers, in a good way though!
• Dependable Friend; Need a place to crash, a drink to quench your thirst, a bandage in that hard-to-reach spot? You know who to call.
• Derring Doer; Displaying daring deeds in desperate disasters, a defender of all damsels in distress.
• Diabolical Dialect; Can't always tell what they're saying, but they're good at saying it!
• Diplomatic Tongue; Can make flinging yourself into an overrun Outpost with naught but a spork and frilly pink panties seem like a good idea.
• Doggish Determinism; Loyal to the end. This is your Old Yeller. Without the rabies of course.
• Effervescent Abolitionist; They are in favor of a change in island law, and quite enthusiastic in converting the masses. No more failboating! The rumors are true!
• Effervescent Ebullitionist; Bubbling with enthusiasm all the time. Spreading joy is a job, a job they love.
• Enchanting Entrant; Someone who, no matter what the place, time, or scene, makes themself known in an unforgettable manner.
• Eternal Optimist; The glass is always half full, and those clouds sure look lovely today.
• Eye for Detail; remembers if that mutant used its middle, left or back hand the most even with a ten-second glance.
• Exquisite Courtesy; Always polite, no matter what.
• Extra Bits; Exemplar of the Mutant race. Just keep your noodly appendages to yourself, please. And your poetry.
• Failboat Cruisemaster; You can find it in the dark, with your eyes closed.
• Fearless Leader; The one you follow, if only out of curiosity.
• Fiery Passion; Trust your feelings.
• Finn Mac Cool; You're an amiable enormous sort, aren't you?
• Foolishly Friendly; This contestant is a good person, to a fault.
• Frilly Pink Panties Fashionista; Pretty yet practical.. and cheap!
• Furry Fury; You take catfight to a whole new level.
• Fuzzball; Exemplar of the Kittymo-ooh, something shiny!
• Gallant Gyro; Surpisingly heroic for something that shouldn't be able to do much. They are the beach ball/sandwich/workbench that defeated a Titan!
• Generous Gifter; Presents! Yay!
• Gentle Ear; Tell me what's wrong.
• Gneiss Slice; The Great Pyramids would just be a weekend project for you.
• Gracious Host; They run a good house.
• Graceful Mover; Even a simple stride carries the grace of a dancer.
• Gratuitously Geeky; For the super smart, or the cognitively crazed
• Green Eyes; Exemplar of the Joker race. Game of cards, anyone?
• Great Gadgeteer; A tinkerer. Designs tend to be useful, compact, and could belong on Batmans utility belt.
• Grenade Garnish; A sprig of this, a frag of that. Voila! Monster sushi.
• Ham on Wry; Over the top yet subtle, you magnificent bastard. Now get out of my sandwich.
• Hammer Slammer; Bring the hurt.
• Hammer Time; Every problem looks like a nail, when this is all you use.
• Harvey Wallbanger; You really know how to nail it, literally.
• Hattitude; Your headgear is positively haberdashing.
• Helping Hand; Having a hard time? They'll be around shortly.
• Heroes' Hero; Doer of deeds, creator of legends, all-around good guy/girl.
• Holy Hedgehog; Audrey is crazy about you.
• Honourable Genteel; Most impeccable in eloquence and dress.
• Humpty Dumpty; They have tea on the fourth wall more often than not.
• Hundred-Point Rally King/Queen; Finishes the rally before other contestants even start.
• iBombaholic; “Come on, I need the cigz.. Argh! No, not the failboat!”
• Improbably Successful; Don't tell them the odds.
• Impulsive Explorer; Ooh, something new!
• Inimitable Style; There can only be one, and this is them.
• Ingenious Inventor; “Where does he get those wonderful toys?”
• Innit?; Exemplar of the Midget race. Best kept at arm's length.
• Inquisitive Bastard; One more question!
• Inspiring Force; A mover and a shaker. When they're around, others are moved to action.
• Irresistible Charm; A smile, a well-timed comment, even a look is all it takes them to befriend you.
• Jack-of-All-Trades; Master of fun.
• Join Them; An Honest clan leader.
• Join Us; Advocates for their clan.
• Julia's child; A cook that can make your shoes sumptuous.
• Keeper of the Coin; You have lots of money. More than you know what to do with. And you know of a LOT of things to do with money.
• Kind to Others; The title says it all.
• KISS; Kittymorphs InSane Situations.
• Knowledge Bank; Got a question? They've got answers.
• Know It All; They know everything about everything and aren't afraid to show it.
• Life of the Party; If they're here, you know things are going to be fun.
• Like a quiet breeze; Diffuses difficult situations with ease. A Gandhi of the island.
• Lonely Lovebird; Always seeking attention, but really quite adorable. Better loved than realizes.
• Lord of the Pants; A Kittymorph who knows how to work it even undercover.
• Lovable; you don't know what's so great in them, but you can't stop the fuzzy feelings.
• Mad Scientist; Mad, I tell you! MAD!
• Master Builder; A frequent guest at Dwelling-raisings.
• Memento Maury; They talk about death all the time, like a fond old friend. Their collection usually contains the odd shrunken head or a few limbs from previous incarnations.
• Metal and Glass; Exemplar of the Robot race. Initializing bonus.
• Mezzo Expresso; Because sometimes you just need multiple languages to express something or add emphasis.
• Midget Mush Mouth; You think chavs are a bunch of hoity-toity, stuffed-shirt wannabees, what with their refined speech and all.
• Midget Romeo; All the women of the island want to get with you, they just don't know it yet.
• Misnomer Mastery; A frequent word misplacer when using epithets. For them, it's an art!
• Modern Major-General; For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury, has only been brought down to the beginning of the century; But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, I am the very model of a modern Major-General.
• Modest but Awesome; Refuses to acknowledge their amazing-ness.
• Mood Lifter; Brings smiles where frowns sat before.
• Mostly Harmless; Exemplar of the Human race. Welcome, by the way.
• Mountain Mauler; Mountain goats watch you in awe.
• Mutant Massacrer; The mutant magpie runs when it hears you coming through the woods.
• Naughty but Nice; There's a heart of gold in there.
• Naughty but Nice; Nice and naughty, just the way I like'm.
• Non-malodorous Camelid; You are not a smelly dramallama, nor are you British. You have much to be happy about.
• Open Mind; But not so open their brains fall out.
• Obsessive Nitpicker; Details, details, details!
• Overachiever; Not only did you have tea with Horatio, you managed to avoid the Improbably burny fire. Bravo!
• Pachyderm Pandemic; If it's worth killing, it's worth over-killing. You gain such a blood lust.
• Pinky and the Brain; “Tonight, we take over the world!”
• Plain Plane; Flies across the savana!
• Plain Swain; The rain in Spain falls mainly on.. other people. You zip between the drops.
• Plasmaster; White-hot gas artiste.
• Plotter Extraordinaire; They're twelve moves ahead already.
• Poetical Bent; Rhymes galore, couldn't ask for more!
• Prim Reaper; They can lay waste to the countryside, yet they're always so impeccably clean!
• Pun Master; It's an artform, really.
• Pungeoneer; Taking puns to new heights (or depths, depending on who you ask).
• Punisher; Painful punnery.
• Quagmire Creator; Gives pause to even the most loquacious of contestants.
• Quantum Quizzler; You can bamboozle even the Cryptic Question Joker.
• Quiet Riot; “I never touched him, officer.”
• Quietly Brilliant; Doesn't say much, but when they do, everyone listens.
• Quintessential Joker; Before there were jokers, there was you.
• Quintessential Joker; That's your statute in the museum.
• Quintessential Joker; That's you in the museum.
• Refreshingly Sane; In a place where everyone's off their rocker, they are regularly on it. And it's nice.
• Resourceful Roleplayer; Supplied by the contents of monsters' pockets and stomachs, this contestant's motto is “waste not, want not.”
• Resourceful Repairer; Also known as the Fix-It Contestant.
• Rocklike Endurance; You've watched them deflect bullets. WITH THEIR EYES.
• RUM; Really Ugly Midget. The littler ones aspire to be just like you when they grow up.
• Sammich Slayer; You better hope the sammich doesn't hear you calling yourself that.
• Scatterbrain; Uhmm, sorry; who are you again? I'm su-oh, mom! Hey mom!
• Scrivener Extraordinaire; Shakespeare and Chaucer should take lessons from you.
• Sex Kittenmorph; as seen on TV!
• Shy… In a cute way.
• Skronky Pothead; Don't ask and we won't tell. Just like lawmaking and sausage making.
• Snarkypants Snarkmaster; Always seems to have a retort to everything. Sly and quick with words, a true master of the English language.
• Snow Goer; Your bow shock goes though snow like a hot knife through butter.
• So Lonely, So; Embraced a new friend's gifting. He made friends to them, he did. Rude to refuse ignore, yes.
• Social Pioneer; They've invented the newest craze. Twice.
• Speedy Climber; Wait, didn't you just get here?
• Spork Sporter; Loves the challenge of fighting with minimal weaponry.
• Staircase Wit; Just keep climbing.
• Stalwart Defender; At the forefront of any breach, leading the charge to repair or fight.
• Stand-Up Comic; Always ready with wit and quips.
• Statistic; What Statistic? Who knows. But you've got +1 of it, you smarmy little jackrabbit.
• Steampunk Scientist; A specialist in technology that will generally ignore the next EMP blast. As a bonus, it's fashionable!
• Storyteller; Let me tell you a story about the Island.
• Strength of Ten; Not only will they open the stuck pickle jar, they will punch out a panthzer. With one swing.
• Stout Fellow; “Beer is proof that God loves us, and wants us to be happy.”
• Stutter Wonder; Your lexicological slice-and-dice is a sight to behold.
• Suave Son of a Gun; Even Seth wishes he were a charmer like you.
• Supersonic Swimmer; Even the fish have fin envy.
• Supple Creater; Fond of making mementos or buildings that are rather silly, or trick you into picking them up, only to laugh at the description.
• Swedish Bikini Team Member; Not only are you hot, you also know the difference between a vulva and a Volvo.
• Sweltering Savage Chef; Lives and breathes to cook. Everything they make is delectable.
• Tag, I'm It!; Glories in their spot in the stocks.
• Technical Tenacity; Practice makes perfect.
• Titan Tickling; You have became very familiar with barnacles and they with you.
• Titan Tormentor; Really, now, The Watcher will have to mint more Requisition if you keep this up.
• Titanic Sinker; Titans can't swim (when they're full of holes), who knew?
• Tough Cookie; Has teeth of steel.
• Typo-gremlin Target; “What?! I have fat fingers” and hilarity ensues.
• Typo-gremlin's Wrath; Your clanmates and friends love it when you join the storyline.
• Unassuming Artist; Look! I drew you a picture! Do you like it?
• Unintentional Wit; Oh? That was funny? I didn't mean for it to be, but okay!
• Veteran; They've been here FOREVER.
• Voice of Reason; A ground wire in the electrical circuits of havoc that are the Island.
• Warm Heart; Kind, caring, willing to help, and always sympathetic.
• War Paint; beautifully coloured names and titles.
• Welcome Wagon; Greetings!
• Witty Wordsmith; Parodies, puns, jokes, stories, all fall into their domain.
• Word Wielder; Losing to one is a fate far worse than death.
• Wordsmith; Who knew words were so malleable? You did!
• Xat Cat; Dude, you really know how to chop logs.
• Xenodochial Master; Very nearly the first person seen by newbs, after their implant surgery.
• Xenophilic; One race? That's boring!
• Yard Decorator; They make Dwellings pretty.
• Yodeling of the Damned; Within you is the power to vanquish the mutant minstrel menace.
• You Can Dance; Hedgehogs are your friend.
• Zed Head; You had a personally autographed piece of Jerry Garcia's brain, it was tasty. It made you trip.. hard.
• Zinger; Excellent timing, devastating commentary.
• Zombie Hunter; They can smell a brain from 40 meters away.