alcohol
Alcohol
A magical, life-lengthening substance that'll put hair on your chest and increase your shoe size by at least 2 inches1). Currently the Third most important invention know to man.2)
Production
Alcohol is made by combining 2 parts Joy, 1 part Stress Relief, 3 parts Water, 1/2 parts Unicorn Blood3), and 1/2 parts Hobo Vomit4) in a pressure cooker for 3 days.
Alcohol Throughout History
- It is a little known fact that those who participated in dumping the tea into the harbor at the Boston Tea Party were completely smashed.
- From the time he assumed control of France to his death, Napoleon was not sober for more that 2 hours.
- A closely guarded secret of the Japanese, the first Emperor was chosen by a Sake-Bomb drinking contest. 5)
Forms of Alcohol
- Beer
- Wine 6).
- Spirits, such as Rum, Vodka, and Gin
- Liqueurs, flavored or sugared alcohols
1)
If you know what I mean.
2)
First is Alcohol Ice-cream. Second is Irish Coffee. Because two miracles>One miracle
3)
this is the evil part. all good drinks are a bit evil, and unicorns are the most evil creatures of all.
4)
To give it that kick.
5)
On a slightly related note, Japanese bomber pilots in WWII would drink sake before going on bombing runs or suicide missions, making them sake-bombers.
alcohol.txt · Last modified: 2023/11/21 18:02 by 127.0.0.1