The Old Improbable Island Wiki

This page is read only. You can view the source, but not change it. Ask your administrator if you think this is wrong.
====== Birthday Wishes for Caveman Joe ======

. . . from his grateful Islanders!


===== World Map 17-10 =====

You think to yourself what a nice day it is.

The ground shakes with bass-heavy rumbles as a mighty Titan lumbers around somewhere to the south-west. It appears to be heading towards **Dan's Birthday Party!** It's even carrying a gift, and wearing a party hat the size of a small building. Even at this great distance, it dwarfs the many-floored edifice that is SPICE Tower.

The ground shakes with bass-heavy rumbles as a mighty Titan lumbers around somewhere to the north-east. It appears to be heading towards Cyber City 404!

The ground shakes with bass-heavy rumbles as a mighty Titan lumbers around somewhere to the north-east. It appears to be heading towards Improbable Central!

===== In front of Cobblestone Cottage =====

[07/28 11:48pm] Jake the Hippy says, "Hey dude, don't sweat it. So the Man says the birthday present you asked for is on backorder, but it's, like, comin' before Christmas."\\
[07/28 11:51pm] Jake the Hippy puts his hands in his pockets, and grins. "Have a happy one, pal. You're awesome."

 [07/29 12:25pm]  <QUEST>Questor Tor NaGoth confides to Jake, "You know who you should be wishing a happy one? CaveManJoe! I heard that today's his birthday, you know."\\
[07/29 01:37pm]  Jake the Hippy grins back at Tor. "Hey man, who dja think I was talkin' to? He's cool, he's jive, he can hear us even when he's out there savin' the planet with his superpowers."

===== In Kittania =====

[07/29 12:58am] <DICE> Cadye Willfan drifts in, in her usual cat-foot way. She's holding a small box wrapped in an old copy of the Enquirer, meticulously taped at every corner and edge. She looks around before setting it down.\\
[07/29 01:00am]  Spidery red script on the newspaper says, just, "CMJ." The box contains a Whoomph grenade, mouldywarp jerky, and, Improbably, about thirty logs. It sits forlornly on the ground by Maiko's.\\
[07/29 01:01am] <DICE> Cadye Willfan's reasoning is that she knows people who like all of these things, and also that CMJ comes to all sorts of places. She ghosts out, happier.\\
 [07/29 01:01am] <DICE> Cadye Willfan does not really understand presents.

===== In the Greenhouse of the Test Kitchen at 9,15 =====

 [07/29 03:33am] <QQQ>Cuisinier Micha darts into the Greenhouse and shoves a wooden placard at Declan. In loopy chocolate swirls it reads, "Happy Birthday, CMJ!"She hisses, "Hold this! Quick!" before smiling all sharpity sharp.\\
 [07/29 03:34am]  Rookie Declan grips the placard, "Whu?" He looks down at it, "What's a Seeamjay?"\\
[07/29 03:38am]  <QQQ>Cuisinier Micha grits out through her stretched-out smile, "Just say 'Happy Birthday', Declan. Into that camera right there." She demonstrates, nearly vibrating with excitement.\\
[07/29 03:40am]  Rookie Declan holds his placard and looks seriously into the camera, "Happy Birthday. ..Can I go home now?" Is he going to cry? Can't trust a coatrack to man up these days.\\
[07/29 03:42am]  <QQQ>Cuisinier Micha flashes out through the broken greenhouse glass, leaving Declan alone with the placard. Can't trust a kittymorph to remember how to hold a hostage these days, either.\\
[07/29 03:43am]  Rookie Declan curls up under the table, wondering what he did to deserve all this trouble.

===== On the Failboat =====

[07/29 10:43am]  <TYPES>Barbershop Barnacles of Chimental has a feeling they need to do something. To sing a variety of birthday songs. None of them know why. Oh well, just go with the flow. A one. A two. A one two three four.\\
[07/29 10:46am]  <TYPES>Barbershop Barnacles of Chimental starts with one of the best songs they know. After a melodic intro, "You say it's your birthday/Well it's my birthday too~yeah/They say it's your birthday/We're gonna have a good time!"\\
[07/29 10:48am]  <TYPES>Barbershop Barnacles of Chimental continue. "I'm glad it's your birthday/Happy birthday to you!" "Yes we're going to a party party/Yes we're going to a party party/Yes we're going to a party party."\\
[07/29 10:51am]  <TYPES>Barbershop Barnacles of Chimental continue the song, feeling like they should do their best. "I would like you to dance (birthday)/Take a cha-cha-cha-chance (birthday)/I would like you to dance (birthday)/Daaaaaance."\\
[07/29 10:53am]  <TYPES>Barbershop Barnacles of Chimental can't dance, but you gotta give them points for trying. "I would like you to dance (birthday)/Take a cha-cha-cha-chance (birthday)/I would like you to dance (birthday)/Daaaaaance."\\
[07/29 10:54am]  <TYPES>Barbershop Barnacles of Chimental finish up the song. "You say it's your birthday/Well it's my birthday too~yeah/You say it's your birthday/We're gonna have a good time/I'm glad it's your birthday/Happy birthday to you!"

===== Via email from Bernard =====

I'm stuck on holiday with only intermittent access to the interwebs. Nonetheless please could you add my best and most heartfelt happy birthday wishes to Dan, but tell him to temper his celebrations with the knowledge that at his age it takes longer to recover from hangovers. **Happy birthday Dan!**

===== In The Bingo Hall - The Dunbernarding Wing: The Sinfonia =====

[07/29 04:53am]  Darren appears in the Sinfonia room, and begins fussily rounding up the sleeping instruments. Toasters are shaken awake, Letter Hs chrrped at, and S-Trumpets thoroughly scolded.\\
[07/29 04:55am]  Darren is in no mood to arbitrate a dispute between a treble H and a tenor H over posession of a reed. He tsks and chrrps and fusses and bosses until they settle down, and get themselves organised.\\
[07/29 04:57am]  Darren taps his baton on a music stand, as he waits for a group of S-Trumpets to cease blaring over an ancient copy of Viz, and focus on the matter in hand. Catching his glance, one of them nudges the rest of the brass section. "Maestro's in a mood today." "Isn't he always," another replies, and the group guffaw once more, before ahmming, and settling down a little.\\
[07/29 05:04am]  Darren glares at the S-trumpets, but lets it go. There are Matters of Importance to attend to today. He waves a flipper at the lead toaster, who nods to a thin, reedy-looking H. The H nods back, and begins to aspirate - pitching the note for Concert A. It drifts out across the Sinfonia room, and is picked up by the other instruments as they start to tune up. Gradually, the room fills with the sound of scales and arpeggios, on brass, woodwind and toaster-strings, running across and over each other, but anchored to and always coming back to A.\\
[07/29 05:13am]  Darren listens, as the instruments make their minute adjustments, until each and every one of them is satisfied. And then, tapping his baton, he nods. A hush falls over the room. A tingle of expectation.\\
[07/29 05:14am]  Darren lifts the baton. Holds it. And then, in a stroke, brings it down. And the orchestra begins to play. The melody is bright, the tempo stately, and after a short introduction, one of the toasters stands, and begins to sing, in a full-throated tenor.\\
"Happy birthday to you,"\\
"Happy birthday to yoooou,"\\
"Happy birthday deaaar Caaaaavemaaaaaaaaan,"\\
"Happy biiiiiirthdaaaaay toooooo yooooooooooou!"\\
As the last notes die away, the orchestra beams around in pleasure. Ah, devotional music. Always so moving.\\
[07/29 05:21am]  Darren gives a satisfied chrrp and nods approvingly at the orchestra. Then, setting down his baton, he waddles off the dais and out in search of pilchards. Break-time for everyone!

===== In the Enquirer =====

**NEWS BULLETIN:** Monsters have been spotted running around the Jungle with pieces of birthday cake stolen from CMJ's party!  At least one Lion is reported to be among the thieves, and may have been the ringleader. 

Honestly, you'd think CMJ's party would have better security, with all those heavily armed players standing around.

===== In The Hanger: RoG and Gremlin Sanctuary =====

[07/29 10:32am]  <GERM>Chief Inspector g_rock steps up to a hastily thrown together podium. In, on, and around the bigbotbody, the RoG gremlins stand in expectant silence.\\
[07/29 10:34am]  <GERM>Chief Inspector g_rock surveys the crowd quickly. All the gremlins are dressed to the nines (Thoughm for some that just means the fuzz on their ears has been brushed to a soft sheen and combed straight)\\
[07/29 10:38am]  <GERM>Chief Inspector g_rock smiles and clears his throat, tapping a velociraptor femur-come-conducting baton on the podium. All eyes turn to face the camera. Clanking, whistling music sounds from the Gbot.\\
[07/29 10:45am]  <GERM>Chief Inspector g_rock keeps the time. All the gremlins take deep breaths, open their mouths, and..Bappy Hirthday two Yuo! Hairpiece Birchday too yew!!! Harpy Berthday CMJAAAY! Hanky Breathdoy TO YUO!\\
[07/29 10:46am]  <GERM>Chief Inspector g_rock All assembled clap, though a few roll their eyes at Eileen, who looks a bit embarassed about sneezing in the middle. G pipes up "Right, that'll have to do."

===== In the Kitchen of the Victoria Compound =====

[07/27 01:12pm]  <DICE> KK Victoria slices open a bag of flour, letting it air out next to the already opened bag of sugar, the plate of butter, and the bowl of warming eggs.\\
[07/27 01:13pm]  <DICE> KK Victoria shuffles about the Compound kitchen, drawing out bowls and gathering cups of milk and water, setting them out on the island with the rest of the ingredients.\\
[07/27 01:14pm]  <DICE> KK Victoria sets aside a shallow bowl of confectioner's sugar and some lemon zest - he'll make the icing when he has a free moment.\\
[07/27 01:15pm]  <DICE> KK Victoria takes the appropriate measures. Flour, sugar, butter, eggs, all go into a large metal mixing bowl. Kai then dips in a wooden spoon and begins a slow, methodical mix.\\
[07/27 01:16pm]  <DICE> KK Victoria finishes off the thick batter, pouring it into two separate greased and floured loaf pans. A quick slice through with a knife to cut out the air bubbles before they're placed into the oven.\\
[07/27 01:16pm]  <DICE> KK Victoria finishes off the icing in a few minutes and uses the remainder of the hour of bake time to peruse his old issues of Guns and Ammo andShotgun Monthly.\\
[07/27 01:18pm]  <DICE> KK Victoria stands at the buzzing of the egg timer, cracking open the oven to retrieve the two pound cakes. To cool off for a few minutes, Kai places the cakes - still in pans - atop the cooling racks.\\
[07/27 01:19pm]  <DICE> KK Victoria turns his attention to another ten minutes of shuffling through the articles of guns and shells and rifles and gauges before removing the cakes from their pans, letting them cool off a bit longer.\\
[07/27 01:20pm]  <DICE> KK Victoria waits a few more minutes before he drizzles the lemon icing over the two cakes, letting a slapdash distribution give it more character than a plain and even sheen.\\
[07/27 01:21pm]  <DICE> KK Victoria folds his arm across his flour-dusted apron and grins wide before taking a sheet of note paper off the icebox door and scrawling onto it in black ink. He sets the note between the two cakes.\\
[07/27 01:21pm]  '**CMJ**.'

===== In the Common Ground =====

[07/29 04:36am]  <Wise>Unruly Badass Contestant Unfairlady trots in, singing (badly), something almost unidentifiable, that could be California dreamin'. She unpacks a sheaf of posters and some paste.\\
[07/29 04:39am]  <Wise>Unruly Badass Contestant Unfairlady switches to another song, still way out of tune, this one somehow reminiscent of Mister tambourine man, while she fusses with the posters.\\
[07/29 04:39am]  <Wise>Unruly Badass Contestant Unfairlady studies her surroundings, looking for the best places to put them up, humming Johnny be good, under her breath.\\
[07/29 04:40am]  <Wise>Unruly Badass Contestant Unfairlady studies the posters and frowns, muttering to herself "..Failboat..more interesting..two days le..Two days? Wasn't something going on today?"\\
[07/29 04:40am]  <Wise>Unruly Badass Contestant Unfairlady gathers her effects and adds, still muttering to herself "I'd better check I've got the date right, first..", then heads back out.\\
[07/29 12:29pm]  <QUEST>Questor Tor NaGoth is fairly certain Unfairlady had the right date, but he can't be sure without knowing what was on the posters... at any rate, he shrugs and shouts into the ether, "**HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAVEMAN JOE!!!**"

[07/29 01:26pm]  <GERM>Lieutenant Teh Dave loses a cigarette and 30 req to the Pinata, and offers it up as a burnt offering for the Caveman himself. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CMJ!"

[07/29 01:52pm]  <Hope>Mad Scientist Lazarus hollers "HAPPY BIRTHDAY CMJ~"

===== In Kittania =====

 [07/29 09:04am]  <ICEE>Guitarian Bob Zarido wheels a large and almost finished doubled double decker ice cream cake out from the halls. It has no icing! Yet. He stops once he's out and casts a shifty glance around, as if to check.\\
[07/29 09:05am]  <ICEE>Not Nasty Buck has no idea about any sneak attack, and waves to Bob, who doesn't make his entrance..well, quiet.\\
[07/29 09:06am]  <ICEE>Guitarian Bob Zarido twists his ears silently, as if almost frozen. The bottom lip twitches a bit, then he nods. Bob pulls at least four packs of cigarettes out from his coat and sets these on the cart quietly.\\
[07/29 09:06am]  <ICEE>Transcendent Grand Lord Elevated Badass of the Gods Praco leaps onto Buck's back. "Hello!"\\
[07/29 09:07am]  <SCorp>Blue and Nekomimi wave at Bob, "Lovely cake. As usual of course."\\
[07/29 09:07am]  <ICEE>Guitarian Bob Zarido lifts a hand to Buck and sort of waves it. He's very focused, you see. Bob swings the white sheet off from his shoulder and covers the fabulous cake with it, making sure to hide it.\\
[07/29 09:09am]  <ICEE>Guitarian Bob Zarido returns Neko's wave, but not Blue's as he gets the whole thing covered. He glances back and then waves at Blue. "Yes. Well.Surprise. Needs decorations. Needs the wife's work."\\
[07/29 09:10am]  <SCorp>Blue and Nekomimi says "Good morning Praco honey."\\
[07/29 09:10am]  <ICEE>Guitarian Bob Zarido sucks at decorating cakes. And he knows it. And he knows that his wife is the creative one, so she gets to decorate. Plus there are usually icing fights between them.\\
[07/29 09:10am]  <SCorp>Blue and Nekomimi nod, "That makes sense Bob. Division of labor is handy."\\
[07/29 09:11am]  <ICEE>Not Nasty Buck grins, and attempts to turn his head to look back at his new backpack attachement. He begins to turn in place, still trying to look.\\
[07/29 09:14am]  <ICEE>Guitarian Bob Zarido shakes his head "No, not that. She's a better decorator than me." Unless someone wanted his cake full of silly smiley faces and badly drawn flames. Bob thinks otherwise.\\
[07/29 09:15am]  <ICEE>Guitarian Bob Zarido meekly points out "I have to actually wake her up for this. Want to get this done, but don't want to face the wrath." In other words, his wife is a grump when you wake her up.\\
[07/29 09:16am]  <SCorp>Blue and Nekomimi smile, "That's exactly what we mean. The cakes are always lovely when you two make them."\\
[07/29 09:17am]  KimmyMonstah is a grump, in fact she puts new meaning to the word. You have not seen grumpy until you see her grumpy. It will open your eyes and flood your brain with MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF INFORMATION.\\
[07/29 09:19am]  <ICEE>Guitarian Bob Zarido is really happy his wife isn't here to hear him. Bob shakes his head "Special occasion. Someone's birthday. Gotta keep ithushhush. Hush puppy."\\
[07/29 09:19am]  <SCorp>Blue and Nekomimi nod, "Duly hushed."\\
[07/29 09:20am]  <ICEE>Transcendent Grand Lord Elevated Badass of the Gods Praco nods. "Got it!" He looks at Buck. "The Praco's specialties are the holding and throwing of grenades!"\\
[07/29 09:21am]  <ICEE>Guitarian Bob Zarido looks between Blue and Neko "I'll just..ask about that later." He gestures between the two of them. "Rykar almost got punched in the face yesterday. Trying to be confusing."\\
[07/29 09:22am]  <SCorp>Blue and Nekomimi look up at Praco, "Now that's an amazingly cool idea."\\
[07/29 09:23am]  <ICEE>Guitarian Bob Zarido had had a long, already frustrating day. "Got a snowball mashed up in his face, though." He grins and suddenly bows. Bob runs off with the cake, bellowing "CAAAAAAAKE TIIIIME!"\\


[07/29 12:54pm]  <SUGAR>The Once-Wiise Ashtu and The Wiicked sAshtu wander in from the south, bickering as usual.\\
[07/29 12:54pm]  <SUGAR>The Once-Wiise Ashtu jumps up on the bench outside the Cool Springs Cafe and pontificates,"Ahem! Speaking on behalf of my fellow downtrodden Islanders, I would like to denounce this obvious bourgeois plot.."\\
[07/29 12:55pm]  <SUGAR>The Once-Wiise Ashtu continues, to attempt to LIONIZE that individual known as - um -" (consults his notes)"Cavern Dweller Joseph by GLORIFYING his natal anniversary, and further attempting to.."\\
[07/29 12:55pm]  <AIB>The Wiicked sAshtu kicks her brother in the ankle and says, "Speak for yourself, dude! And shutup!" She shouts, "**Happy Birthday, CavemanJoe!!**"\\
[07/29 12:56pm]  <AIB>The Wiicked sAshtu and The Once-Wiise Ashtu wander back out the south gate, still bickering.


 [07/29 12:45pm]  <ICEE>Guitarian Bob Zarido wanders in again, still wheeling the cake around. This time, however, a large metal cover that doesn't match and is much too large for the cake is covering it.\\
[07/29 12:50pm]  <ICEE>Not Nasty Buck waves to Bob. He peers curiously at the metal cover.\\
[07/29 12:52pm]  <ICEE>Guitarian Bob Zarido waves to Buck "Hey you." A protective hand sets itself on the cover nonchalantly "You wanna come to Central with me, sounds pretty busy over there."\\
 [07/29 12:56pm]  <ICEE>Not Nasty Buck eyes the pair of guys suspiciously, and shakes his head at Bob, "Nah, I'm..not in the mood for crowds." He offers an apologetic shrug.\\
[07/29 12:56pm]  <ICEE>Guitarian Bob Zarido turns to Ashtu and shakes his finger "You don't know for a fact this is for Joe! It could be for..Buck! Or anybody! It's a surprise!" He's trying to be sneaky.\\
[07/29 12:57pm]  <ICEE>Guitarian Bob Zarido sighs at Buck "I take it you're not going to the erm.. Well. The thing later today?" He taptaps on the metal cover with a finger.\\
[07/29 12:59pm]  <ICEE>Not Nasty Buck nods. "Yes, of course. Probably not long," he blanches at the thought, "But I will be there. Got a wedding to attend as well.."\\
[07/29 01:01pm]  <ICEE>Guitarian Bob Zarido frowns. Who would dare have a wedding on the Almighty Caveman's birthday. "Alright. I should probably send out a clan mail anyway so that they show up." He sits and gets to writing.\\
[07/29 01:07pm]  <ICEE>Guitarian Bob Zarido finishes the note, and sends it out. As it flies upward, it seems to duplicate itself, and they all quickly glide off.

===== In Squat Hole =====

 [07/29 10:36am]  Big Su Skronky's birthday has come around again, at least by the Skronkian calendar, and she has been dropping some pretty broad hints that she wouldn't mind if there was a surprise party held in her honour.\\
[07/29 10:40am]  Mildew Skronky has been giving the task of luring Sewage into the back shed of the Skronky Pot where the 'surprise party' is to be held. "Cum ere Ma, thurs summat yu gotta see!"\\
[07/29 10:46am]  Big Su Skronky is suspicious, but doesn't show it. "Wots thut thun?" "Jus cum ere an yull see wuntya?" They enter the shed. "Surprose!" "Sapruse!""Saprize!" "Sipruze!" "Soproze!"\\
[07/29 10:51am]  Big Su Skronky is delighted that she's got her 'surprise party' but believes in cutting to the chase with the important things. "Wow! Wot u luvly surpruze! Wurs me prezunts?"\\
[07/29 10:55am]  Her sister Chlymidia Skronky steps forward with a large package. She's got Maggot Braithwait, Squathole's leading artist to paint a portrait.\\
[07/29 10:58am]  Big Su Skronky quickly pulls off the wrapping. "Utz a pucture! Utz a doggymurph rolling un tha swump! How nice! Oil hung it un office innit?"\\
[07/29 11:07am]  Next Buckfast Skronky steps up with his present, greedily grabbed and unwrapped by Sewage. "Itz u club! Ow dud yer nu? I needed a nu wun! Lust wun broke wun I beat Beligerence Burns over ead wiv it!"\\
[07/29 11:13am]  Dogend Skronky is looking a bit nervous but steps up with his present, which turns out to be another club, identical to Buckfast's! To his relief there are laughs, and cries of "Grut munds thunk aluke!"\\
[07/29 11:21am]  Nettle Skronky has a different present however. "Eres ya gu!" It turns out to be a tankard, stolen from the PSK. "Ars, yu shudunt uv! Nu ul I need iz summat tu put in it!"\\
[07/29 11:39am]  Irritation Skronky takes this as her cue to come forward, for her present is a barrel of Skronkys best cider. The barrel is broached and Sewage gets to use her tankard.\\
[07/29 11:42am]  Irritation Skronky has brought another barrel to sell to everyone else, knowing that Sewage sure as hell isn't going to share her present out. It's hers.\\
[07/29 11:47am]  Julia Skronky starts to step forward, but is held back by Wasp. Shagnasty McAlistair first. He pushes a cintraption forward and imagines Sewage's delight when she finds out that she's got a fag rolling machine.\\
[07/29 11:52am]  Big Su Skronky "Wot uz it?" "Wotch thus." Shagnasty puts a cigarette paper into the three feet high machine and turns a handle. An iron bar swings out from one side and cracks him smartly on the head.\\
[07/29 11:56am]  Big Su Skronky is delighted! A machine for cracking Midget's skulls with! Mixing work and pleasure! She looks around for someone to use it on."Thuggins! Cum ere!"\\
[07/29 12:00pm]  Thuggins Skronky is pushed forward by the rest of the crowd. "Wurs yer prezent fer me thun?" "I, um, er,.." This is what Sewage was expecting and hoping for. "Stund thur and turn thut."\\
[07/29 12:04pm]  Thuggins Skronky doesn't want to 'Turn thut' "Yu fackin du uz yer tuld, yer fackin tightarse. No fackin prezent! Turn thut andle!" Thuggins has no choice, he turns the handle.\\
[07/29 12:07pm]  Thuggins Skronky is cracked round the head with the iron bar, to everyone else's great amusement. This is one of Sewages best presents yet. You can't get this anywhere else. Once again Midgets are leading the way.\\
[07/29 12:12pm]  It's Impudencia and Julia Skronky's turn now. The finale. They nip outside and return pulling a huge cake baked by Sarky Williams, one of K'n'S's cooks. Before Sewage gets to cut it however, there is a round of 'Happy Birthday'.\\
[07/29 12:12pm]  <AIB> sugar-hi unicorn peeps through SH's gates. things are happening.. good. that's a distraction. she scurries across and clambers up the council offices, to sit on the roof.\\
[07/29 12:28pm]  <AIB> sugar-hi unicorn hums along with the singing as she produces a notebook and a pen, and proceeds to chew the pen for a while, showing no signs of using it for anything more scholarly.\\
[07/29 12:29pm]  "Appy Burday tu yow, appy burday tu yow. Appy burday dear **DA.A.AN**. Appy burday tu yow!" Sewage is suspicious "Wot's thut they culled me? //Dun//?"\\
[07/29 12:31pm]  Wasp Skronky smoothes things over. "Thuy wuz cullin yer Mamm as in, the queen of the Hole." Sewage likes this idea. It shows proper respect.\\
[07/29 12:33pm]  <AIB> sugar-hi unicorn headtilts, and writes "respect" on the notepad, getting ink everywhere. chewed the pen too much.\\
[07/29 12:34pm]  Big Su Skronky is impatient to cut the cake. She grabs a kitchen knife and striding to the cake, drives it right into the centre.\\
[07/29 12:36pm]  Big Su Skronky is surprised when the cake shouts at her. "Oi yer fackin facker!" suddenly, out from the cake jumps Vincent and Timothy, two of Julia's lads, who were meant to jump out and surprise Sewage.\\
[07/29 12:38pm]  <AIB> sugar-hi unicorn frowns, licking ink off her hands, and draws a cross section of a cake, with a person inside, and labels it "nest."\\
[07/29 12:38pm]  Big Su Skronky is certainly surprised! Seeing Vincent jump out from the cake with a knife stuck in his head wasn't what she was expecting. It's not what anyone was expecting. She laughs heartily.\\
[07/29 12:40pm]  Big Su Skronky watches as an angry Vincent turns and punches the nearest Midget, Timothy, who returns the punch. Soon there is a punch up in the middle of the cake.\\

[07/29 12:41pm]  Midget Tor , (a.k.a. Lance) Is talking rather loudly with Julia, "I knows ya sed no freebies da las' time, but ets 'is birfday, wot? 'Sides, 'e's dun so much wif da Island.."\\

[07/29 12:43pm]  <AIB> sugar-hi unicorn writes "survival of the angriest" in the increasingly smudgy notebook.\\
[07/29 12:44pm]  Big Danny Skronky is hit with a piece of flying birthday cake, and angrily rushes past Lance and Julia into the fray. More cake goes flying, more Midgets get hit, the fight grows.\\
[07/29 12:48pm]  Big Sewage Skronky is pleased with the entertainment that's been laid on, believeing it to have been laid on specially. She starts to fidget.\\

[07/29 12:48pm]  Midget Tor continues, "Oi kinda feel bad fer kickin out on 'is fokken Arse da las' time." MT smiles as Julia shrugs, then he turns to the nearest camera, "Awwroit, CMJ!.."\\

[07/29 12:48pm]  Big Sewage Skronky is leader of the Hole's leading criminal family, and she tries to keep this sort of thing at arms length. But.. today is her birthday. You've got to have a bit of fun occasionally, right?\\
[07/29 12:50pm]  Big Sewage Skronky charges in. The perfect chance to use her two new clubs. She can practice her famous 'two handed' approach. She hasn't done this in a while.\\
[07/29 12:52pm]  Big Sewage Skronky gets stuck in. Midgets go flying left and right, a piece of cake flys up and narrowly misses Sugar-Hi. The fight carries on for some while.\\
[07/29 12:54pm]  <AIB> sugar-hi unicorn eeps, ducking to avoid cake. she underlines the word "angriest", and then sets the notebook down to see i she can find where that bit of cake went.\\
[07/29 12:59pm]  <AIB> sugar-hi unicorn locates the bit of cake, nestled among the many empty cans on the roof of the council offices. she wolfs it down. tastes mostly of ink.\\
[07/29 01:02pm]  <AIB> sugar-hi unicorn picks up the notebook, and regards her research critically, before hopping down from the roof and wandering out.


[07/29 01:49pm]  Midget Tor announces, "Oi knowse ya kin 'ear me, so 'ear dis! Joolia 'ere ssez youse kin get ONE Free Massage! Jes dis onece, on account it's yer birfday, an' yer Joe. C'mun get it!"

===== In NewHome =====

[07/29 01:36pm]  <ICEE>Guitarian Bob Zarido wheels the covered cake up next to his normal bench and sits down. Bob might seem relaxed as he stretches out, but he's keeping an eye on the cake. The metal cover is locked to the cart.\\
[07/29 02:09pm]  <ICEE>Guitarian Bob Zarido blinks. He'd been napping. Bob pats the metal cover "Surprise party. Tasty, tasty cake."\\
 [07/29 02:17pm]  <ICEE>Guitarian Bob Zarido waves to Skye before he takes the cake out again.


[07/29 02:34pm]  <ICEE>Slacker Cartographer Syd Lexic positively LEAPS out of the clan halls, full of joy on this very merry Joemas, on which day we celebrate the birth of our lord and saviour the Almighty Caveman.


[07/29 02:53pm]  <GERM>Noir Detective SinkOrSwim stands in the square, and reaches under his mack for his trusty Beretta. He takes aim at a blank wall and commences firing. The bullets spank into the brickwork in a series of geometric shapes.\\
[07/29 02:56pm]  <GERM>Noir Detective SinkOrSwim reloads and keeps firing, clip after clip, peppering the wall with holes and flattened pieces of lead. He stops after a while and blows on the red hot muzzle, then steps back to view it.\\
 [07/29 02:59pm]  <GERM>Noir Detective SinkOrSwim grins at his handy work. In 6-foot high letters, the writing on the wall now reads "**HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAVEMAN JOE**".

===== In Improbable Central =====

 [07/29 02:06pm]((The timestamps are wrong! Or rather, from a different timezone. This happened before the dancing, trust me on that.)) <GERM> Johnson galumphs slowly into ImpCent like a planet, squashing enormous tracks of grass as she goes. Small bricks and buttons orbit slowly around her fatsuit until she stops, panting. "This is difficult."\\
 [07/29 02:07pm] <GERM> Kestrel - no, surely it can't be her - hobbles through the gate on skyscraper electric blue heels. Curls //boing// in every direction from that improbably curly wig. The fedora looks drowned, poor thing.\\
 [07/29 02:07pm] <GERM> Johnson adjusts her fatsuit carefully, swatting away her orbiting followers, and then replaces the wig on her head and tries to sweep the itchy purple fringe from her eyes. "Right. Er. Where's Kestrel?"\\
 [07/29 02:08pm] <GERM> Kestrel would normally not be caught dead wearing pink, let alone a fairy tutu. //Eurgh//. One exasperated grin thrown to Johnson, along with a not-yet-detonated Impbomb. "Fountain," she reminds.\\
 [07/29 02:08pm] <GERM> Johnson blinks through the matted strands of purple at the incredibly tall woman. "Those heels suit you to a tee," she says admiringly. "They make your legs look- almost //architectural//-like."\\
 [07/29 02:10pm] <GERM> Johnson nods. "Okay." She grips the Impbomb and turns towards the fountain. And then turns back to Kestrel, waddling like a penguin with a serious case of constipation. "What am I supposed to do with it?"\\
 [07/29 02:11pm] <GERM> Johnson also would not be caught dead wearing pink. This is why she gave the tutu to Kestrel.\\
 [07/29 02:11pm] <GERM> Kestrel lets out one hysterical giggle, clamps her mouth shut to stifle the rest, and produces the vivid green bottle of //Fairly Liquid//. "Fountain! In honour of CMJ. At least, that's the excuse."\\
 [07/29 02:11pm] <GERM> Kestrel grins, maybe a Joker grin, not quite ear to ear, but certainly a Kes grin. "Drop it in on the count of three, pin pulled. You ready?"\\
 [07/29 02:12pm] <GERM> Kestrel will be having Words later.\\
 [07/29 02:14pm] <GERM> Johnson nodnods. "Yes!" She hesitates. "And- and anything else we can chuck in as well, yes?" She digs in her hat briefly and pulls out a small baggie of- of something. And then another baggie of something.\\
 [07/29 02:15pm] <GERM> Johnson hands one baggie to Kestrel and grips the other one tightly, the pin of the Impbomb in her fingers. "Ready for pullin', ma'am," she reports.\\
 [07/29 02:16pm] <GERM> Johnson is wearing a fatsuit the size of a small planet. All words will have to be beamed in by satellite with her galaxial address written clearly on the front in hydrogen, thank you.\\
 [07/29 02:16pm] <Wise>Unruly Badass Contestant Unfairlady peeks in, cautiously. She flashes a grin at the two ridiculous outfits and strolls toward the fountain.\\
 [07/29 02:17pm] <GERM> Kestrel accepts the mysterious baggie, clamping it to side of the //Bright & Green//. "For CMJ, mate. Have a good one. One. . . two. . . three. . ."\\
 [07/29 02:18pm] <Wise>Unruly Badass Contestant Unfairlady's grin fades and she ducks for cover behind the largest object around. The fatsuit containing a yet unidentified person.\\
 [07/29 02:19pm] <GERM> Johnson pulls the pin and //hurls// it at the fountain along with the baggie. "THREE!" she screeches, and then turns to run, in magnificent slow-motion, towards cover. "RUN, KESTREL!"\\
 [07/29 02:19pm] <GERM> Kestrel relinquishes, then runs like fury.\\
 [07/29 02:21pm] <GERM> Johnson trundles over someone behind her, bellowing "Sorry!" as she goes. Thankfully, the planet is inflatable so it's relatively light. Relatively.\\
[07/29 02:21pm] The resulting explosion is quite frothy, and made both colourful by the baggies of potpourri. Pastel-coloured foam, tinted with vivid green, rests on every available surface.\\
[07/29 02:22pm] A single lone goldfish flounders uselessly in what is left of the fountain. Sea monkeys populate the larger piles of foam.\\
 [07/29 02:22pm] <GERM> Johnson dives for cover behind a mysterious brick wall that seems to have suddenly appeared from nowhere. Little bits of rubble crumble down around her as the gargantuan foot of the suit gets stuck.\\
 [07/29 02:23pm] <GERM> Johnson peers over the wall. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CAVEMAN JOE!" she bellows over the sound of foam frothing up from the fountain's pipes.\\
 [07/29 02:24pm] <GERM> Kestrel is too late to avoid the explosion! Foam plasters the already matted wig, the goldfish panicks and lands on the fedora, and with one last waver, both she and the fish are gone.\\
 [07/29 02:24pm] <Wise>Unruly Badass Contestant Unfairladytries to get to her feet, but skids and falls flat on her behind, even deeper in the foam. Some vivid green foam decorates her hat and most of her face. She sneezes a few bubbles.\\
 [07/29 02:27pm] <GERM> Johnson pokes her face up, seeing most of the explosion over. A few bubbles drift into her whiskers and she wrinkles her nose up. "Green." She lumbers clumsily to her feet and spots someone splashing still.\\
 [07/29 02:27pm] <Wise>Unruly Badass Contestant Unfairlady wipes some of the foam and adresses the figure in the fatsuit "Johnson? That you?" Sneeze. This time the bubbles are blue. "So it's today, heh?" she finally scrambles to her feet.\\
 [07/29 02:28pm] <GERM> Johnson lumbers over, slipping and sliding. "Kestrel?" she says cautiously. She could //swear// someone on electric blue platforms would be taller- "oh. You're not Kestrel." She frowns. "Who are you?"\\
 [07/29 02:29pm] <Wise>Unruly Badass Contestant Unfairlady mutters to herself "I'd better get a hold of Whyvern, then?" then louder "Kenny?" She sees some of the foam wiggle in a hopeful manner and goes to investigate, peeking at the moving thing.\\
 [07/29 02:29pm] <GERM> Johnson blinks. "Unfairlady?" She giggles. "At least I think so, under that foam. Get it off your face, woman. You look like you have a beard worthy of Santa."\\
 [07/29 02:30pm] <Wise>Unruly Badass Contestant Unfairlady looks very much surprised "I ain't Kestrel. I'm me." she offers very helpfully. In the meantime the foam not-containing-Kenny-but and enraged sea monkey bites her ankle. "Ouch!"\\
 [07/29 02:31pm] <GERM> Johnson brushes herself down self-consciously. "Yes. Yes, it's me. Johnson." She attempts to suck in her stomach and then remembers fatsuits don't suck. "Er. I'm not usually so bloated. Time of the month?"\\
 [07/29 02:31pm] <Wise>Unruly Badass Contestant Unfairlady tries to shake loose the thing, sneezes again, purple this time. She forgets about the ankle, staring at the pretty bubbles. Then something kicks in and she finally wipes the foam from her face.\\
 [07/29 02:32pm] <GERM> Johnson blinks. "Er. Are you okay?" She frowns. "It's just foam. It can't hurt you," she adds patiently. "It's bubbly." Looks down at the potpourri. "And smells good." And a bit like clean dishes.\\
 [07/29 02:34pm] <Wise>Unruly Badass Contestant Unfairlady chuckles, more bubbles coming out of nostrils and ears. They dance in the up air, together with the others, spelling, improbably "Happey Birthday, CMJ!

 [07/29 01:28pm]  <GERM>Chief Inspector g_rock Clouseau still hasn't gotten a proper response. He sighs a put-upon sigh, and flips open his notebook "Mssr, What eez your naam?"\\
[07/29 01:28pm]  <TW>The Dastardly Genteel RP Whistle says "Absolutely not. All the leering is done with the eyes. Which is why I utterly avoid eye contact.Partly to hide all detestable showings of emotion,partly to convey absolute disinterest in conversation."\\
[07/29 01:29pm]  <GERM> Kestrel starts wrestling the truly impractical things back onto complaining feet, glancing thoughtfully about the place, then pausing. "G - um, Clouseau. You need a few req for something?"\\
[07/29 01:30pm]  <GERM>Chief Inspector g_rock raises an eyebrow and shakes his head at Kes "Non, I merely wish to cite zis gentleman for obstruction of le joostice." tough charge to make stick in this case, but he'll try\\
[07/29 01:31pm]  <GERM>Lieutenant Teh Dave offers G some //law-glue//. Helps charges stick. (Where'd that rimshot come from?)((No, that bit's not even slightly part of the birthday celebration, but how could we leave it out?))

 [07/29 01:44pm]  <GERM> Johnson blinks down at Dave. "Yes. I'm- I'm in a fatsuit. It's a costume." She wobbles gently from side to side. "I kind of like it. I made Kestrel wear heels and a pink tutu."\\
 [07/29 01:46pm]  <GERM> Kestrel throws Johnson a look, one which manages to say many things. Firstly, there will be words. Secondly, these shoes are sharp. Thirdly, shut up about the pink tutu.\\
 [07/29 01:47pm]  <GERM>Lieutenant Teh Dave's head tilts the other way. "Whaa?" He peers over at Kes, trying to imagine her in a Tutu.\\
[07/29 01:48pm]  <GERM> Johnson nods. "Yep, it was pink, like a shiny pretty pink, and came out to heeere." She attempts to demonstrate with her hands and fails miserably. "And there was a green wig. And a fedora. And a mustache."\\
[07/29 01:48pm]  <GERM> Kestrel snorts, switching the look to more of a glare, and swivelling it back towards Dave. "Watchit, mate. I can hear those cogs turning. Keep that imagination in line, yeah?"\\
[07/29 01:50pm]  <QUEST>Questor Tor NaGoth wanders in wearing a party hat.\\
[07/29 01:52pm]  <GERM> Johnson yawns again. "Okay, that's it. I'm headin' to bed." Ponderously, slowly, she bounces out of ImpCent like a bloated planet with feet. And a tail. And a tiny blob of a head with a purple wig.\\
[07/29 01:52pm]  <QUEST>Questor Tor NaGoth can't help but imagine CMJ in a lovely party dress.\\
[07/29 01:56pm]  <QUEST>Questor Tor NaGoth pulls his crystal flute out of his sleeve, an begins plaaying a jaunty celebratory tune. Dust bwgins to swirl across the square, forming vague shapes and images.\\
[07/29 01:57pm]  <GERM>Lieutenant Teh Dave oooooooooohs and sits on the edge of the fountain, watching the Dust.\\
[07/29 01:58pm]  <QUEST>Questor Tor NaGoth nods a greeting to Kes as he continues to play, and the shapes take on a solid form.. It's CMJ wearing a brilliant green party dress with a pink tu-tu over the top!! Looks kinda odd with goggles.\\
[07/29 01:58pm]  <GERM>Lieutenant Teh Dave laughs at the figure, waving to Tegani as she passes.\\
[07/29 02:00pm]  <QUEST>Questor Tor NaGoth continues to play his merry tune as the phantom CMJ dances and twirls about the Square in a Happy Birthday Dance.\\
[07/29 02:00pm]  <GERM> Kestrel can't keep this stern-and-irritated look up for much longer. Here comes the snrk, then a giggle, then full-blown laughter.\\
[07/29 02:01pm]  <GERM>Lieutenant Teh Dave hops off the fountain and attempts to dance with the dust-Admin.\\
[07/29 02:02pm]  <GERM>Chief Inspector g_rock Clouseau just claps and laughs, sinking to the ground next to the fountain. Too..much..hilarity!\\
 [07/29 02:03pm]  Lt Colonel Tegani comes out of the SpiderKitty, goes briefly into the bank, then comes out to see what all the commotion is. "Hi, Dave!"\\
[07/29 02:04pm]  <QUEST>Questor Tor NaGoth obligingly alters his tune, and the Dust-Admin consents to be led about the square by Dave, with fawning cutseys, and much batting of lashes.\\
[07/29 02:06pm]  <GERM>Lieutenant Teh Dave laughs and leads the figure through what could generously be called a foxtrot, but you'd have to be incredibly generous to do so. He grins over at Tegani. "Hallo Tegani!"\\
[07/29 02:07pm]  sparks and fireworks explode in the air above the dancing pair and spell out **Happy Birthday, Dan!**


[07/29 02:37pm]  <QUEST>Questor Tor NaGoth starts singing as the music changes from waltz to reel, "Ooooooohh! What do you do with an aging Caveman? What Do you do with an Aging Caveman? What do you do with an aging Caveman? "\\
[07/29 02:41pm]  <LAID> Anadel giggles and looks up at Tor, "Do you mind if I step away. I have a clannie to coerce into dancing"\\
[07/29 02:41pm]  <GERM>Chief Inspector g_rock Clouseau Stands, brushes himself off, and nods "Of coorse, I am all right. Wow, when did you learn to mek coopies of yourself?" he addresses a spot 18 inches to Kes' right\\
[07/29 02:41pm]  <GERM>Abundantly Ari spins into the dancing grinning "Happy birthday!"\\
[07/29 02:41pm]  <QUEST>Questor Tor NaGoth playfully hands Ana off to Iriri as he propells the slender blonde man onto the dance floor.

===== Riding the Train =====

 [07/29 01:50pm]  <ICEE>Train Cat Rykar looks over at Elias, grinning as he pulls... a toy train out of the box? He starts grinning gleefully, and takes it up to the conductor, whispering.\\
[07/29 01:59pm]  The conductor looks at Rykar, incredulous. "No, the railway system is not for toy tr-". He pauses as he is offered a bag. "How much? Goodness.. I'll see what I can do.."\\
[07/29 02:01pm]  <ICEE>Train Cat Rykar grins and nods to the conductor, departing with glee.

===== In the Common Ground, just before NewDay =====

[07/29 03:51pm]  <ICEE>Train Cat Rykar grins as he hauls a backpack full of.. railroad ties, by the looks of things.\\
[07/29 03:59pm]  <ICEE>Train Cat Rykar smiles at Bob, and heads over to the entrance of the grounds, laying down some railroad ties and crude tracks.\\
[07/29 04:01pm]  <ICEE>Train Cat Rykar runs outside, grinning.


===== In AceHigh =====

[07/29 07:47am]  Contestant Whyvern shuffles in, muttering unpleasant things about the PSK bartender and his damn endless quests. He sighs. "Better than CC, anyway. At least there's cake."\\
[07/29 07:49am]  <Wise>Unruly Badass Contestant Unfairlady steps out of the shadows and walks to Whyvern. "Just the guy I was looking for." and she stops in front of him, taking out some measuring tape. Then starts measuring him.\\
[07/29 07:50am]  Contestant Whyvern starts, almost dropping his backpack and blushes furiously. "For m..me? You were looking for me, milady? Why..I mean..er, what for?"\\
[07/29 07:52am]  <Wise>Unruly Badass Contestant Unfairlady finishes measuring, nods and takes a step back. "Yes, I guess it will fit. Say. I heard you sing. You have a pretty voice."\\
[07/29 07:55am]  Contestant Whyvern gulps and instinctively looks for cover. He doesn't like the sound of it, at all. Besides, this lady is trouble, even if she's..oh well, that's something he's not ready to admit to himself, even.\\
[07/29 07:57am]  Contestant Whyvern shuffles, trying to sidle away and stutters "Wha..who..m..m..me? Nono, milady I don't. I mean perhaps..in the shower or..wel..when" then a frightful memory resurfaces. "Oh, no. Julia's."\\
[07/29 07:59am]  <Wise>Unruly Badass Contestant Unfairlady grins"Perfect. I knew you'd say yes. Here." she hands him a glittery dress, blonde wig and a scrap of paper, written in her usual, almost undecipherable scrawl.\\
[07/29 08:01am]  Contestant Whyvern frowns, trying to figure out when he agreed to..and as a matter of fact, what he agreed to. He instinctively reaches and takes the things she's profering. Then peers at the paper.\\
[07/29 08:05am]  Contestant Whyvern frowns some more, trying to make out what it says "..sing..at the.. the way you deal.." then he looks at her, puzzlement, horror and utter dread succeeding rapidly over his features.\\
[07/29 08:08am]  <Wise>Unruly Badass Contestant Unfairlady flashes another grin at Whyvern "See you later then! B-bye!" and she scoots out, southward, before he can say anything else.\\
[07/29 08:10am]  Contestant Whyvern blinks and tries "B..but I don't..I can't..Oh, crap, she's gone." He hunches his shoulders, looks at the stuff in his hands, then after Unfairlady, then at the things, again.\\
[07/29 08:11am]  Contestant Whyvern sighs, and with a utterly defeated air, stuffs the glittery thing, wig and paper in his backpack, before heading out to the jungle.

===== In Soup and Pants, Improbable Central =====

 [07/29 12:30pm]  <Wise>Unruly Badass Contestant Unfairlady peeks in and finds the state of the room and its occupants much to her satisfaction. She scutters out.\\
[07/29 12:34pm]  Contestant Whyvern enters the room, reluctantly. In fact he's trying to hold on to the door frame. It becomes quite obvious he's being pushed in. And now his fingers are prised off the frame, one by one.\\
[07/29 12:35pm]  <Wise>Unruly Badass Contestant Unfairlady manages to finally shove Whyvern in. "Stop acting like a baby. You do need to rehearse this, don't you? Do you want to perform in front of people without rehearsing first? Heh?"\\
[07/29 12:37pm]  Contestant Whyvern gestures around, trying to point out there are people here, too. He stops to arrange the tacky blonde wig on his head which ended up front to back after the scuffle at the door.\\
[07/29 12:38pm]  <Wise>Unruly Badass Contestant Unfairlady looks unimpressed by this. "They're sleeping. Just try not to sing too loud, m'dear." Thus being said, she quickly procures a ladle and a pan. She swishes around the ladle a few times and nods.\\
[07/29 12:39pm]  <Wise>Unruly Badass Contestant Unfairlady waves the ladle under his nose. "Posture, please. And get ready. A one..a two.."\\
[07/29 12:40pm]  Contestant Whyvern looks pleadingly at Unfair "Please, milady, is there a way to get out of this? I mean..I'll work for you, I'll..I'll pay you. Anything."\\
[07/29 12:42pm]  <Wise>Unruly Badass Contestant Unfairlady stops and gives him a look "Now. Do we want people to know about that time, back in Squat Hole?"\\
[07/29 12:43pm]  Contestant Whyvern blushes furiously, swallows hard and shakes his head. He sighs, deeply and arranges the sequined glittery dress and the wig one more time. Then, looking utterly miserable, nods.\\\
[07/29 12:44pm]  <Wise>Unruly Badass Contestant Unfairlady nods, as well. "Good. Where was I? Oh. A three..a four..aaaand go" she waves the ladle around, as if conducting.\\
[07/29 12:47pm]  Contestant Whyvern takes a deep breath and starts singing, in a surpringly vibrant countertenor voice "**Haaappy biiirthday to youu; Haaappy biiirthday to youu; Happy birthday, Mr. Caveman; Haaappy birthday to youuu!**"\\
[07/29 12:48pm]  <Wise>Unruly Badass Contestant Unfairlady grins and keeps waving, banging the pan with the ladle at what she thinks would be the appropriate times. She whispers "Next verse, now."\\
[07/29 12:49pm]  Contestant Whyvern continues, gathering steam:"Thanks, Mr. CaveMan/For this Island you have done/For using wisely the hammer ban/The way you deal with the surreal/And our problems by the ton/We thank you so much!"\\
[07/29 12:50pm]  <Wise>Unruly Badass Contestant Unfairlady grins and applauds, ladle and pan under her arm "Beautiful. See, it wasn't so hard. Now you're ready to perform in the grounds."\\
[07/29 12:52pm]  Contestant Whyvern's face, initially flushed with the success, completely drains of blood. "The grounds? You didn't say anything about ..but there will be.." he doesn't finish the phrase.\\
[07/29 12:53pm]  Contestant Whyvern picks up the hem of the dress and //runs for his life//.\\
[07/29 12:54pm]  <Wise>Unruly Badass Contestant Unfairlady is startled and drops ladle and pan, starts giving chase as those land on her feet. She trips over them and sprawls on the ground. Then slowly gets to her feet, cursing and limps out after Whyvern.

===== In Location Four =====

 [07/29 04:10pm]  <TW>The Dastardly Genteel RP Whistle says "Happy Birthday CavemanJoe!"

===== In Improbable Central =====

[07/29 03:26pm]  A large gorilla, wearing a pink and yellow striped tutu, rides a bicycle into town. Around his neck is a placard stating: To Mr C.M. Joe. Felicitations on your nativity! ~C. Hellebore

[07/29 04:05pm]  <Wise>Unruly Badass Contestant Unfairlady trudges back in to IC, dragging a bulging backpack that goes t-cling with the welcome sound of full bottles clinking together. She waves cheerily at Kes and the detectivish guy.\\
[07/29 04:06pm]  <Wise>Unruly Badass Contestant Unfairlady drags the backpack toward the Common Ground and disappears out of sight, only the enticing sound heard occasionally, fainter and fainter.\\
[07/29 04:10pm]  <GERM>Noir Detective SinkOrSwim chuckles. "Not bad. Still alive. Still investigatin'.."\\
[07/29 04:11pm]  <GERM> Kestrel snaps her head to follow Unfair, realisation swift in coming. "Party! Blimey, I'd completely forgotten about that." An apologetic smile to Sink, and she dashes away to prepare.\\
[07/29 04:15pm]  <GERM>Noir Detective SinkOrSwim knows these dames and their ways. She'll be off to put her face on.\\
[07/29 04:18pm]  <GERM>Noir Detective SinkOrSwim slopes towards the CG's


[07/29 04:45pm]  <GERM> Merlin bounds on to the roof of the spiderkitty, bagpipes tucked under her arm. She grins. the harp is nice and all, but the pipes are loud and more suited to this kind of thing.\\
[07/29 04:47pm]  <GERM> Merlin takes a deep breath and with a clout to the bag, the drones start their wailing. "NOT AGAIN!" shouts several passersby.\\
[07/29 04:48pm]  <GERM> Merlin smirks and sets off in a rousing rendition of "**Happy Birthday**". The song echoes through the outpost, once again causing Dan to leave his post at the bar to glare at the piper.\\
[07/29 04:50pm]  <GERM> Merlin finishes up the song, and with a shout of '**Happy Birthday CMJ!**" bounds off before she can be fully chastised by Dan.


[07/29 10:12pm]  <Wise>Professor Hairless is attracted by the windborne wafting, endlessly echoing sweet-sour sound of the pipes. He offers birthday felicitations and wishes for many happy returns of the day!

===== In AceHigh =====

[07/29 04:32pm]  <DICE>Gladsome Beeker walks out of the Clan Halls, carrying a tray balanced on each hand, piled very high with banana-cream pies. He heads for the Common Grounds to take them to the Birthday Treats table.\\
[07/29 04:32pm]  <DICE>Gladsome Beeker's path, unfortunately, takes him right across the line between the bases. Busy balancing the banana-cream pies, he is unaware of the danger.\\
[07/29 04:34pm]  <Hope>Sydney Fletcher has considerably more momentum than usual. She tries to stop but noooooo!\\
[07/29 04:36pm]  <DICE>Gladsome Beeker's pies go flying! So does Beeker, with an oof!\\
[07/29 04:36pm]  <DICE>Carpen Tyr looks between pies and baserunner and sighs in relief. At least Marly will die delicious. It's how she'd want to go.\\
[07/29 04:36pm]  <DICE> Marly bleats.\\
[07/29 04:38pm]  <DICE> Marly sits up carefully, blinking at the people and the pies, torn. Food presentation is important! Food is delicious! Is anyone hurt! Priorities and delicious!\\
[07/29 04:38pm]  <DICE> Zolotisty skulks guiltily behind thepitchumpirecoach.\\
[07/29 04:39pm]  <Hope>Sydney Fletcher licks a dollop of cream off her nose. Hmm. Banana.\\
[07/29 04:39pm]  <DICE> KK Victoria turns around, "Z. Obvious have never played baseball." He comments. "Would like learn?"\\
[07/29 04:39pm]  <DICE>Gladsome Beeker has banana-cream in his fur! Localnews is being most helpful about this calamity. Soon there will be no banana-cream, and a very roly-poly puppy.\\
[07/29 04:41pm]  <DICE> Marly wipes a bit of cream from her cheek and tastes it. Delicious! She stands carefully and steps her way out of the tangle, leaning against Sheila's for a moment.\\
[07/29 04:42pm]  <Hope>Mad Scientist Lazarus slips in, and goes into the Clan halls.\\
[07/29 04:44pm]  <DICE> Zolotisty gazes up at him. "I have lost the spirit of the game."\\
[07/29 04:48pm]  <DICE> KK Victoria tsks, "Yes, but Baseball full of spirit." He gets down on one knee, like a proper coach should, and places a hand on her shoulder. "Is not hard find again."\\
[07/29 04:50pm]  <DICE> Zolotisty's eyes are round, though her chin has not moved so very far - it is level with the ground now that KK has dropped to a kneel.\\
[07/29 04:52pm]  <DICE> KK Victoria pats her shoulder and points to her tummy. "Cos' Baseball spirit, right there. Inside player of game." He would be a brilliant little league coach, wouldn't he?\\
[07/29 04:54pm]  <Hope>Sydney Fletcher blinks at Marly, still covered in cream. "I - I'm sorry. I shouldn't have just run." It's been a while since she's played baseball.\\
[07/29 04:55pm]  <DICE> Marly shrugs. "It's ok!"\\
[07/29 04:57pm]  <Hope>Sydney Fletcher half-smiles and moves a large piece of pie from her arm to her mouth, and then presumably her stomach.\\
[07/29 04:58pm]  <DICE>Gladsome Beeker says, "Oh, uh, it's a good thing I made little cakes, too! And this is yummy!" He eats a bit of pie that is still sitting in its pie plate on the ground. Mmm, banana.\\
[07/29 04:58pm]  <DICE>Gladsome Beeker says, "Uh, sorry I stopped your, uh, your running! Were you playing golf?" It looked just like golf to Beeker.\\
[07/29 05:03pm]  <Hope>Sydney Fletcher isn't quite honest enough to apologize for causing the pie collision. It is too delicious! Instead, she opts for something much closer the truth: "This is excellent pie!"

===== In IC Banter =====

[07/29 05:47pm]  <DICE>Binjali shouts, "Happy Birthday CMJ!" She then wanders off singing, "And many mooooooore.."

===== In Kittania =====

[07/29 04:13pm]  <TYPES> Silcatra says "Happy birthday, CMJ!"

===== In New Pittsburgh =====

[07/29 01:18am]  <GERM>Uncouth Ruffian Awesome Fred says "Get to Pleasantville, quickly. Titan here, two more titans on the way."\\
[07/29 01:26am]  <GERM>Uncouth Ruffian Awesome Fred says "In fact, go to the river southwest of Pleasantville (15,20 - 15,22) - you will find SEVEN different titans in various directions to fight."\\
[07/29 12:21pm]  <QUEST>Questor Tor NaGoth stops by wearing a party hat, "Perhaps they are going to the Party. Did you know that it's CaveManJoe's Birthday today?"\\

===== Back in the Common Ground, just before NewDay.. =====

[07/29 03:57pm]  <ICEE>Guitarian Bob Zarido's clan is great at swarming. They're like locusts. Except colder.\\
[07/29 03:58pm]  <ICEE>Guy that sorta looks like Ferryn pauses a moment, then dances in a circle around the bar. "It's gonna be a happy happy day 'cause it's a BIRTHDAAAAY". He likes birthdays.\\
[07/29 03:59pm]  <ICEE>Guy that sorta looks like Ferryn is just a locust. Not a cold one, either.\\
[07/29 03:59pm]  <ICEE>Guitarian Bob Zarido finishes unlocking the cake and pulls the cover off, revealing the oddly decker cake in all it's glory. His wife did a fantastic job with decorating, traditional style mixed with flame decals.\\
[07/29 04:00pm]  <ICEE>Transcendent Grand Lord Elevated Badass of the Gods Praco looks up at Bob. "Anything I can do to help?"\\
[07/29 04:00pm]  <ICEE>Guitarian Bob Zarido sets the cover on the cart, and pulls a spare lighter out from his coat. There are cigarettes instead of candles all around each cake, with one tall candle in the middle. He lights that one.

===== In the Common Ground - it's NewDay! Party time! =====

[07/29 04:00pm]

The air shimmers.\\
A shower of glitter rains from the sky. Colored streamers unfurl and float lightly in the wind.\\
A silvery fanfare of trumpets rings through the Ground! It is..\\
A BIRTHDAY PARTYYY!!\\

There are long tables with multi-colored tablecloths. A big sign reads "POTLUCK - BRING YOUR OWN GOODIES TO SHARE!"\\
Lively music starts playing from..? Well, somewhere. Red balloons dance in the breeze, tied to branches and twigs around the gardens.\\
Banners announce, **HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CAVEMAN JOE!**

[07/29 04:03pm]  <DICE>airb0t sessine staggers in carrying a dozen huge vats of ice cream stacked high in his arms.\\
[07/29 04:03pm]  <DICE>airb0t sessine lays out scoops, cones, dishes, spoons, and a surprising array of syrups, sprinkles, and nuts, then steps back.\\
[07/29 04:04pm]  <DICE>airb0t sessine is confident that there will be a wide, wide variety of cakes! And many other treats! This is, after all, the Island.

[07/29 04:03pm]  <ICEE>Guitarian Bob Zarido claps, eager. He finds a spot near his clanmates and stands in the back. It's the being tall thing.\\
[07/29 04:04pm]  <ICEE>Guy that sorta looks like Ferryn laughs at the streamers and the banners and claps excitedly. He's like a little kid!\\
[07/29 04:05pm]  <ICEE>Transcendent Grand Lord Elevated Badass of the Gods Praco looks around excitedly at all the colors, both awe and confusion on his face. "First Birthday party I've been to!"\\
[07/29 04:06pm]  <LAID>Connor OChateuy aka Conchor the innocent bystander is distracted by the shiny, shiny glitter, so shiny.\\
[07/29 04:08pm]  <TW>Sundance Cassidy isn't here. But there is a huge plate of nachos.
[07/29 04:08pm]  <ICEE>Slacker Cartographer Syd Lexic traipses in with a platter of egg-on-toast. He is grinning from ear to ear. "**Happy Birthday to the Almighty Caveman!**"\\
[07/29 04:09pm]  <ICEE>Transcendent Grand Lord Elevated Badass of the Gods Praco uses a one-shot to temporarily leave. Another one-shot later, he's back with a large box of watermelons.\\
[07/29 04:09pm]  <Wise>Unruly Badass Contestant Unfairlady trudges in, dragging a wonderfully overweight backpack out of which the occasional promising c-clink of full bottles huddled together can be heard.\\
[07/29 04:10pm]  <ICEE>Guy that sorta looks like Ferryn darts over in the direction of Syd and helps himself to some of said egg-on-toast.\\
[07/29 04:11pm]  <Wise>Unruly Badass Contestant Unfairlady, a bit short of breath, squeaks "Happy birthday, mighty Joe." then she starts distributing bottles, ginger ale on one table, 'sunshine' on a another.\\
[07/29 04:12pm]  <ICEE>Guitarian Bob Zarido zigzags around behind Ferryn after Syd. He takes a long look at that gingerale, too.\\
[07/29 04:12pm]  <ICEE> Edith is beaming. "I love birthday parties! Hope it's a good one Caveman Joe!"

===== Vignettes from The Party, in No Particular Order =====

 [07/29 05:46pm]  <QQQ>#Mod# That Annoying Epaphus staggers in front of the assembled contestants. "Ahem! Might I have your attention for a moment?"\\
[07/29 05:46pm]  <QQQ>#Mod# That Annoying Epaphus says "It's time to offer this small tribute in song to someone important to the life of the Island."\\
[07/29 05:47pm]  <QQQ>#Mod# That Annoying Epaphus begins to burp"Happy aging to you.. Happy aging to you .. Happy aging, CavemanJooooooe .. Happy aging to yoooou."\\
[07/29 05:47pm]  <QQQ>#Mod# That Annoying Epaphus looks quite pleased with himself, because that last belch was a perfect C-Flat.\\
[07/29 05:47pm]  <QQQ>#Mod# That Annoying Epaphus prepares to launch into his encore until, bombarded by rotten vegetables by his audience, he is forced to retreat.

[07/29 04:17pm]  A train's whistle can be heard coming from an entrance to Kittania, and thundering of wheels starts shaking the tracks.\\
[07/29 04:17pm]  A tiny, tiny train riding atop a single rail chugga chuggas into the grounds, letting out a ridiculous whistle.\\
[07/29 04:18pm]  <ICEE>Train Cat Rykar is balanced ridiculously atop the train, waving to everyone, grinning madly.\\
[07/29 04:18pm]  The train pulls dozens and dozens of tiny traincars, bearing the message Happy Birthday, CaveMan Joe!\\
[07/29 04:18pm]  <TYPES> The Figure known as Chimental blinks and quickly sidesteps out of the way of the..train? The Hell?\\

[07/29 04:18pm]  <DICE>Gladsome Beeker enters carrying a tray of petits-fours. Some of them are decorated with images of cats. These are happy and grateful stray cats, although that's not so obvious from the decorations.\\

[07/29 04:18pm]  <Wise>Lieutenant Alexander Quandle has heard rumours of a party in the common grounds. He comes in hopefully. The rumours were right! He hasn't brought any munchies as he's the sort of cook that could burn a pan of water.\\
[07/29 04:19pm]  <TYPES> Silcatra also approves of the party being here. Every birthday party requires a pinata, or it isn't much of a birthday party at all, now is it?\\
[07/29 04:19pm]  <Wise>Unruly Badass Contestant Unfairlady grins even wider, beaming with pride. Then rounds her eyes at the train "Oh, look at that!"\\

[07/29 04:19pm]  <DICE>Gladsome Beeker is not really a good decorator, but he tries. On others of the petits-fours he's written in curly cursive, "**Happy Birthday!**"\\

[07/29 04:19pm]  <ICEE>Guy that sorta looks like Ferryn laughs at the train - that's pretty great.\\
[07/29 04:31pm]  <ICEE>Train Cat Rykar joins the crowd surrounding Bob, nodding to his newest clanmate, then to Praco. "Told you there was a party!"\\
[07/29 04:32pm]  <ICEE>Transcendent Grand Lord Elevated Badass of the Gods Praco nods. "Yes and quite the party it is.. but where did you get the tiny train?"\\
[07/29 04:33pm]  <ICEE>Train Cat Rykar chuckles. "Best kids toy I ever got from Elias."\\
[07/29 04:34pm]  <QQQ>Cuisinier Micha deftly pours a judicious amount of sunshine into a handy glass and raises it to Unfairlady's health. And also to CMJ, naturally!\\
[07/29 04:37pm]  <Wise>Unruly Badass Contestant Unfairlady manages to get a hold of a glass of wine, sips from it then stops remembering something. Raises the glass"**To the one and only CMJ!**" and then she drains it.

[07/29 05:20pm]  <DICE> Ebenezer says, "Well! I think-I think I'd better get going. **Happy birthday t-too that Caveman fellow**!" He raises his lemonade and drinks down the rest. Bowing his head, he steps for the exit.

[07/29 05:21pm]  <Wise>Lieutenant Alexander Quandle "A toast? Well I think that should really be To Caveman Joe really, seeing as how the party's in his honour and all that."\\
[07/29 05:22pm]  <ICEE>Guy that sorta looks like Ferryn toasts as well! With actual toast!\\
[07/29 05:22pm]  Contestant Xel Unknown nods. "I agree with you.. Mr. Alex.."\\
[07/29 05:24pm]  <ICEE>Train Cat Rykar hears the toast, grabs a nearby drink, and raises it. "To CaveMan Joe!"\\
[07/29 05:25pm]  <Hope>Technomage Lazarus slips into grounds quietly, blinking at the ruckus.\\
[07/29 05:25pm]  <Wise>Unruly Badass Contestant Unfairlady grins and winks at Kes, before raising a glass that's again mysteriously full. "Hear, hear! To Caveman Joe! Happy Birthday an' all that."\\
[07/29 05:25pm]  Contestant Xel Unknown does teh same as Rykar with his Hot Cocoa Drink. " To CaveMan Joe!"\\
[07/29 05:26pm]  <ICEE>Train Cat Rykar grins at the latecomer, taking a swig of his.. 'Sunshine'? Yum.\\
[07/29 05:26pm]  <GERM>Weathereyed Ahab toasts once again, "Caveman Joe, then!" To the approaching train cat: "Hi." He takes something between a swig and a sip, and between mouthfuls of icing-denched cake. "Hewro."\\
[07/29 05:26pm]  <ICEE>Guitarian Bob Zarido raises his glass of erm.. Bob peeks inside it..what's in here. Oh! Gingerale! He raises it to the toast.\\
[07/29 05:26pm]  <TYPES> Silcatra lifts her glass as well. "To the Caveman, with many, many more."

[07/29 05:29pm]  <ICEE>Train Cat Rykar grins and hands a nearby Limeade and slice of jerkycake to Laz. "Welcome to the party! In honor of CaveMan Joe's birthday!"\\
[07/29 05:30pm]  <Hope>Technomage Lazarus blinks, and takes the offered food. "Um, okay. Happy Birthday CavemanJoe." He mumbles.\\
[07/29 05:33pm]  <GERM>Noir Detective SinkOrSwim raises his bottle once more. "Breithla sona, CMJ"\\
[07/29 05:33pm]  <Wise>Rookie Naima, always awkward at parties, quietly slips out the door, after offering her own toast to CavemanJoe.

[07/29 05:50pm]  <GERM> Miss Hellebore and Ari enter Common Grounds arm looped through arm. Ari is holding a Battenburg Cake.\\
[07/29 05:50pm]  <LAID>Connor OChateuy aka Conchor blinks at Epaphus' song. Goodie, now that song is going to be stuck in his head for the rest of his life, it'll go along with all the other earworms he encountered.\\
[07/29 05:55pm]  <Wise>Lieutenant Alexander Quandle to Unfairlady and Naima "Hang on here a bit, I'm going to see if I can snaffle a bit of that Battenburg that that pair just brought in. That's Ari, I'm not sure who's with her though."\\
[07/29 05:55pm]  <GERM>Abundantly Ari digs out some extra gummy worms and hands half to Hellebore. "We forgot the birthday message!"\\
[07/29 05:57pm]  <GERM> Miss Hellebore eats a gummi worm, "We did?"\\
[07/29 05:58pm]  <GERM>Abundantly Ari uses the worms to create the words **Happy Birthday Mister Caveman** atop and pronounces it "done!"\\
[07/29 06:00pm]  <GERM> Miss Hellebore beams at the cake. "Well done!" She turns to Alexander who is shuffling suspiciously, "I helped decorate!" She wouldn't know suspicious shuffling if it bit her on the nose.

[07/29 06:11pm]  <Wise>Unruly Badass Contestant Unfairlady, on second thought, adopts one more bottle of wine, on the principle that the first should have a little brother, poor thing.

[07/29 06:22pm]  <QUEST>Questor Tor NaGoth waltzes in in his birthday sui- oops, make that //party outfit//. "Happy Birthday Caveman Joe!" he announces to the room in general, then begins to mingle.


[07/29 06:24pm]  <ROGUE>Transcendent Almighty Empress of Improbability with Holy Cheese and a Side of Badass Fries Snow Gray remembers her own baked goods! She sets her bag down and digs into it. She pulls out a platter and a tupperware container of iced sugar cookies.\\
[07/29 06:25pm]  <Hope>Sydney Fletcher grins back and places the pie on a table, cutting it into pieces. She loads herself a heaping plateful, and leaves the rest for whoever wants some. It's especially good with vanilla ice cream.\\
[07/29 06:26pm]  <ROGUE>Transcendent Almighty Empress of Improbability with Holy Cheese and a Side of Badass Fries Snow Gray pulls out another container of double chocolate chunk cookies and arranges both kinds on the platter. The sugar cookies have HAPPY BDAY CMJ carefully piped on them.\\

[07/29 06:29pm]  <GERM>Abundantly Ari holds up her forkful of cake"to the Caveman" then, finally, she noms
[07/29 06:30pm]  <Hope>Sydney Fletcher will take that cake-toast. "The Caveman!" She doesn't know quite where to begin on this plate of dessertage.\\
[07/29 06:30pm]  <GERM> Miss Hellebore takes a heaping forkful of her battenburg cake and shoves it in her mouth. You know.. politely.\\
[07/29 06:31pm]  <GERM> Miss Hellebore toasts, Tof fee Cahfmanf!"

[07/29 06:37pm]  <QUEST>Questor Tor NaGoth nods in approval asMidgetTor and several of his friends roll in a deceptively small cask labeled 307\\
[07/29 06:41pm]  <QUEST>Questor Tor NaGoth strides over to MT and associates, and helps to place the Cask on a proper stand of air before producing a Tap, A mallet, and a tray full of chilled mugs, "307 Ale anyone?"\\
[07/29 06:43pm]  A flying pig passes slowly overhead, trailing a lengthy banner that reads: " **HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CAVEMANJOE!!** "\\
[07/29 06:43pm]  <ICEE>Guitarian Bob Zarido isn't a drinker, but Hell, why not. A flash of the fingers as he strolls over, and he's holding a wineglass made of solid ice. He wanders up to Tor and waits his turn.\\
[07/29 06:46pm]  <QUEST>Questor Tor NaGoth draws a glass of glowing green ale with a light froth for Bob, "307 is the proof, by the way. Drink with caution." he admonishes with a friendly smile.

[07/29 06:54pm]  <Wise>Unruly Badass Contestant Unfairlady grins at Sydney "Great stuff, heh? Almos' like medicine. Good for yer health." then she raises her own glass and in a singsong (oh no!) voice toasts "Happy birthday, CMJ!"

[07/29 08:01pm]  A band starts trooping in. Mariaci. All shiny black and silver and spiffy hats and .. stitches? Dead grey skin? Oh, noes, it's the SOMBREEEEROS! They adjust their instruments and start.\\
[07/29 08:12pm]  Improbably they seem to be playing "For who's a jolly good fellow.." Unfortunately (who gave those guys guitars?) a few fingers come loose, then a few more.\\
[07/29 08:14pm]  The SOMBREEEROS stop playing, gather their instruments, and fingers, and other bits and troop out, muttering something like Who's this CMJ fella anyway?\\
[07/29 08:14pm]  <ICEE>Guitarian Bob Zarido blinks. He glances around before turning to the band, curious. There's a little giggle every so often.\\
[07/29 08:16pm]  <Wise>Unruly Badass Contestant Unfairlady gapes, once again. She loves Mariaci. But these guys seemed a little different? The ones she remembers weren't shedding.

===== In the Entrance Hall of CavemanJoe's Testing Warehouse =====

[07/29 06:29pm]  Captain Brynhildr sneaks in and hangs up a sign that reads "**HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOE**!" in the warehouse.

===== In AceHigh =====

[07/29 06:34pm]  <DICE>Skirling Skidge tried to make a card but it had coffee spilled on it.\\
[07/29 06:34pm]  <DICE>Skirling Skidge then decided hey, maybe she should buy a present, but Thieving Midget Bastards stole it.\\
[07/29 06:35pm]  <DICE>Skirling Skidge tried to make coffee but it spilled.\\
[07/29 06:35pm]  <DICE>Skirling Skidge tried to bake a cake, then, but it blew up and burnt down the kitchen.\\
[07/29 06:37pm]  <DICE>Skirling Skidge decided then that maybe she should try to decorate his house, but the streamers blew into the still-gently-smouldering kitchen and caught fire and now there's no living room, either.\\
[07/29 06:39pm]  <DICE>Skirling Skidge then tried to write him a song, and that went okay, until the boombox was plugged in, started an electrical fire, and now there's no dining room, either.\\
[07/29 06:41pm]  <DICE>Skirling Skidge would have thrown a surprise party except the firemen wouldn't let anyone near the house. Especially her.\\
[07/29 06:41pm]  <DICE>Skirling Skidge thinks next year for CMJ's birthday she will just leave well enough alone. (**HAPPY BIRTHDAY!**)

===== In McCleod Tavern in the Amity in Bedlan Arboreal Forest at 23,12 =====

[07/29 06:52pm]  <AIB>Grand Master Badass of Most Awesome Destruction Alex MacMillan slips into the tavern. He pours himself a glass and raises it to CMJ."Happy Birthday Joe! This one's for you."

===== Riding the Train =====

[07/29 06:49pm]  <JERKS> Sloth boards the train and looks around discreetly. No one he knows around? Good.\\
[07/29 06:50pm]  <JERKS> Sloth proceeds to sign a very loud rendition of"**Happy Birthday, Caveman Joe!**" in his best singing voice. Which isn't very good. Actually it's terrible.\\
[07/29 06:53pm]  <JERKS> Sloth drifts through several keys as he sings, and also manages several different time signatures too. He certainly doesn't maintain a steady beat.\\
[07/29 06:54pm]  <JERKS> Sloth looks heartfelt as he sings, though. It's certainly best to only look at it, rather than listen, though. As soon as he finishes (not soon enough!) he detrains immediately.

===== On a beach just south-east of NewHome =====

[07/29 07:42pm]  <AIB>Lovely Rihta spreads herself out, black glitter on the white sand. From above the planes can read Jump! If you love CavemanJoe in smaller script below or be thrown, thrown works too.\\
[07/29 07:45pm]  <AIB>Lovely Rihta, further down spells When you get here, Come join the party and Wish Him Happy Birthday! at the end of the message is a picture of a cake. The sand above the candles shifts back and forth.\\
[07/29 07:48pm]  <AIB>Lovely Rihta lays on the beach flickering the cake candles and sings **Oh Happy Birthday to CMJ, Happy Birthday to CMJ, Happy Birthday dear CMJ**. Happy Birthday to you.\\
[07/29 07:50pm]  <AIB>Lovely Rihta idly thinks that there may be some rookies later on that may need either counselling or a really good explanation about the happily caterwauling beach.

===== In the Kitchens of Sand Castle Hendrix at 23,11 =====

[07/29 04:55pm]  <GERM>Abundantly Ari measures out the flour and icing sugar and eggs and all those important things for cake batter and mixes it up.\\
[07/29 04:59pm]  <GERM>Abundantly Ari divides it in half, part is made yellow and lemony and part pink, thanks to the cherry juice\\
[07/29 05:01pm]  <GERM>Abundantly Ari counts off what she has but in and adds what she missed, vanilla, butter, milk\\
[07/29 05:02pm]  <GERM>Abundantly Ari bounces impatiently, now they just need some fun stuff\\
[07/29 05:03pm]  <GERM> Miss Hellebore breathes out a sigh of relief.\\
[07/29 05:03pm]  <GERM>Lieutenant Teh Dave bounces into the Kitchen and starts piling stuff on a free counter. "We're here."\\
[07/29 05:04pm]  <GERM>Abundantly Ari nods "okay, we are going to make Battenberg cake, that one is lemony and this one is cherry" she points to each in turn "now we add stuff"\\
[07/29 05:08pm]  <GERM> Miss Hellebore stands at the ready. Prepared to.. well.. she has no idea what she's preparing to do. She can't bake, you see.\\
[07/29 05:10pm]  <GERM>Abundantly Ari takes out a knife to chop up the non-sentient Turtle (TM) for the cherry cake "you just toss stuff in now, its the best part"\\
[07/29 05:12pm]  <GERM>Lieutenant Teh Dave puts some of the cotton candy and caramel into a bowl for the frosting, humming as he works.\\
[07/29 05:14pm]  <GERM>Abundantly Ari takes a bowl of cherries that she did not dry out out of the fridge "these can go on top too!"\\
[07/29 05:16pm]  <GERM> Miss Hellebore puts cherries on top of the cake! She can do that. That's just art.\\
[07/29 05:17pm]  <GERM>Abundantly Ari tosses this and that into the cake mix as she thinks they match best "now we gotta bake, then ice it"\\
[07/29 05:18pm]  <GERM> Miss Hellebore is apparently putting cherries on too soon. She knew she would mess this up. She begins surreptitiously pulling cherries off.\\
[07/29 05:18pm]  <GERM>Abundantly Ari pops the cake into the pre-heated oven\\
[07/29 05:21pm]  <GERM>Abundantly Ari waits till Cozen is done of course, time passes and the cake is removed and cooled "last bit now, icing and cherries"\\
[07/29 05:21pm]  <GERM>Lieutenant Teh Dave giggles at Cozen and pats her shoulder. "It's alright. I do that all the time." He gives Ari a quick kiss. "I'll meet you at the commons in a bit."\\
[07/29 05:21pm]  <GERM>Abundantly Ari grins at Dave "I will save you cake!"\\
[07/29 05:21pm]  <GERM>Lieutenant Teh Dave slips off back to the Courtyard for a quick nap.\\
[07/29 05:22pm]  <GERM>Lieutenant Teh Dave will be looking forward to that!\\
[07/29 05:22pm]  <GERM>Abundantly Ari turns to Cozen "you should do the honours!"\\
[07/29 05:24pm]  <GERM> Miss Hellebore blink blink blinks, "What honours?"\\
[07/29 05:24pm]  <GERM>Abundantly Ari quickly cuts and assembles the cake like a checkerboard, cause its Battenberg cake\\
[07/29 05:24pm]  <GERM>Abundantly Ari gestures to it "Ice it! and add cherries!"\\
[07/29 05:25pm]  <GERM> Miss Hellebore ohs and begins slowly and methodically icing the cake. It takes forever. Empires rise and fall as she ices it. "Where'd you learn to cook?"\\
[07/29 05:28pm]  <GERM>Abundantly Ari watches intently as the cake is iced much more neatly then she could have done "well after the EMP we were pretty cut off, we had to make everything ourselves so I was taught how"\\
[07/29 05:29pm]  <GERM>Abundantly Ari steals a gummy worm left over "never had such neat ingredients though"\\
[07/29 05:30pm]  <GERM> Miss Hellebore presses the tip of her tongue to the corner of her mouth in concentration. She finally finally finishes. "I wasn't allowed in kitchens."\\
[07/29 05:32pm]  <GERM>Abundantly Ari examines the cake and adds a few gummy worms to the sides "I liked the kitchen best because then I didn't have to do the farming stuff and all that as much, why weren't you allowed in the kitchen?\\
[07/29 05:34pm]  <GERM> Miss Hellebore blinks up at her owlishly from her cherry placement, "Elementary cooking. Terrible marks. Burned every dish in front of me. Missus Buttonmarch said never again!"\\
[07/29 05:36pm]  <GERM>Abundantly Ari shakes her head "that is silly, just takes lots of practice"\\
[07/29 05:38pm]  <GERM> Miss Hellebore smiles, "Everything equal, I'd rather leave it to you. This cake smells magnificent."\\
[07/29 05:39pm]  <GERM>Abundantly Ari grins "it looks pretty good too, shall we deliver it?"\\
[07/29 05:41pm]  <GERM> Miss Hellebore hooks her arm around Ari's elbow, "Let's."\\
[07/29 05:42pm]  <GERM>Abundantly Ari picks up the cake platter carefully, not unhooking her arm and heads off with Cozen\\

===== In Soup and Pants, Improbable Central =====

[07/29 07:11pm]  Bug Chaser Escemfer scampers in, carrying a large pink-frosted cake. She sets it in a place of honor on the counter and dashes back into the cooking area to find an icing bag.\\
[07/29 07:15pm]  Bug Chaser Escemfer oh-so-carefully ices a picture of the island onto the surface of the cake. She's no culinary artist, but it's recognizable as a green cat-shaped mass floating in a sea of pink.\\
[07/29 07:16pm]  Bug Chaser Escemfer sprinkles graham cracker beaches, smears custard marshes, and builds a mountain of chocolate icing topped with powdered sugar snow.\\
[07/29 07:18pm]  Bug Chaser Escemfer's cake is, well, something to look at. Maps don't always translate well to baked goods. She adds a birthday candle in the approximate place of each outpost and lights them with a flourish.\\
[07/29 07:19pm]  Bug Chaser Escemfer sings, "**Haaaaappy biiiirthdaaaay toooooo yooooooooouu!!**" Enthusiastic applause accompanies her finale (she's the only one clapping), and then she dashes back out.\\

===== In New Pittsburgh =====

[07/29 08:30pm]  <AIB>Tactician Adder Moray walks out of BRAAAAAINS, a note held in his hand.\\
[07/29 08:32pm]  <AIB>Tactician Adder Moray reads carefully for a moment before saying "Hm, interesting."\\
07/29 08:35pm]  <AIB>Tactician Adder Moray tilts his stetson back."Well happy birthday to him, then," he says with a little smirk on his face before continuing with his own business..\\

===== In the Raven Inn =====

[07/29 09:57pm]  <DICE>Inked Ada tugs her pen from her hair and licks it. She considers several options, but settles on a simple **HAPPY BIRTHDAY CMJ**, in blockletter.

===== In Improbable Central =====

[07/29 11:16pm]  <QQQ>#Mod# That Annoying Epaphus strolls over to the stocks where Rookie Kotora is trapped, selects a stencil, and spray-paints "**Happy Birthday, CMJ!**" on Kotora's buttocks.\\
[07/29 11:16pm]  <QQQ>#Mod# That Annoying Epaphus says "Another masterpiece, if I do say so myself, and I do."

[07/29 11:21pm]  <Hope>The Cheshire Cat shoots off fireworks, celebrating a certain Caveman's birthday.

===== In NewHome =====

[07/29 07:47pm] <TYPES> Silcatra blinks. "I thought the birthday party was in the Commons. Is this one, too?"\\
[07/29 07:50pm] <DICE> Ebenezer answers Silcatra, "Of-of course this is one too. See, erm. Th-there's cake there." He points to a very large, very pink cake.\\
[07/29 08:13pm]   A little victrola hops into the outpost, swiveling its horn first to the left, then to the right. It makes its way over to the cake table, and looks up. It cheeps.\\
[07/29 08:13pm]   <TYPES> Silcatra blinks, coming out of a daze. What? Singing?\\
[07/29 08:14pm]   <DICE> Ebenezer sits straighter, peering at the victrola. "Erm. Hell-ello. Tea?" It's only polite to offer.\\
[07/29 08:16pm]   The victrola shakes its horn "no," then points it up at the table. It pleads, "Chirrup?"\\
[07/29 08:21pm]   <TYPES> Silcatra taps Eben's shoulder. "I think it wants played."\\
[07/29 08:21pm]   The victrola droops, then gathers itself. Springs tense, and it leaps - a mere inch of the ground. It looks between Ebenezer and the table. "Chirrup?"\\
[07/29 08:24pm]   <TYPES> Silcatra picks up the victrola and puts it on the table. If it's going to be played, it needs a better vantage point, doesn't it?\\
[07/29 08:25pm]   "Chee."\\
[07/29 08:27pm]   <DICE> Ebenezer tentatively reaches to give the victrola a crank. It can't sing if it's spring isn't wound tight, after all! "How-how's that, then?" He leans close to see if it's got a needle and all.\\
[07/29 08:28pm]   The victrola blares half a bar of something. Something orchestrated.\\
[07/29 08:32pm]   <DICE> Ebenezer flinches at the half-a-bar! "Engh!"He glances between Silcatra, Ari, and the victrola.\\
[07/29 08:32pm]   <GERM>Abundantly Ari tilts her head "that doesn't sound like the birthday song"\\
[07/29 08:33pm]   <TYPES> Silcatra looks back at Ebenezer. "Well, it needs cranked some more. I don't think it'll bite, Eben. So you'll be safe."\\
[07/29 08:35pm]   <DICE> Ebenezer argues with Ari, "W-well, maybe it's th-the first bit of it?" He nods at Sil. "G-good idea." He cranks the victrola's crank some more, knowing when to quit. Wouldn't want to over-wind.\\
[07/29 08:38pm]   The victrola does in fact play the birthday song. A fully orchestrated version (with one particularly enthusiastic trumpet player). An opening flourish, some intro bars, and then..\\
[07/29 08:40pm]   <GERM>Abundantly Ari sings along, off key of course"Happy birthday to yooou, Happy Biiiirthday to you, Happy Birthday Dear Caveman! Haaaaappy Birthday to you!"\\
[07/29 08:48pm]   Lt Colonel Tegani waves vigorously to Ari and Ebenezer."What brings you two here.. I mean, well.. you're both human, so I suppose I shouldn't be asking that." she looks slightly embarassed.\\
[07/29 08:49pm]   <GERM>Lieutenant Teh Dave pokes his head out of the loudspeaker, singing along to the Victrola..about 5 minutes too late. "Haaaapppy biiirthday tooooo.." He pauses. "Damn, missed it."\\
[0/29 08:49pm]   <DICE> Ebenezer applauds both Ari and the victrola."W-well done, well done. Now, erm! I think I'd better pack up. I'll need all-all my mugs back, please!" He proceeds to pack his tea things into his hamper.\\
[07/29 08:49pm]   <GERM>Abundantly Ari looks around "I came to sing with Eben"\\
[07/29 08:50pm]   The victrola leans into Ari's hand. "Chirk."\\
[07/29 08:50pm]   <DICE> Ebenezer ohs at Tegani and answers, "I was-was having tea. And cake. Spec-special occasion. Birthday!" He nods his head to her.\\
[07/29 08:50pm]   <GERM>Abundantly Ari spots Dave and waves excitedly "hey!"\\
[07/29 08:51pm]   Lt Colonel Tegani ahs. "Hi Dave" she adds, as he pops out of a speaker. "Neat Trick!"\\
[07/29 08:51pm]   Rookie Mike doesnt raise an eye brow at Teh's head sticking out of the loudspeaker. he's seen stranger.\\
[07/29 08:52pm]   <CLOWN>The Benevolent Hanna B sees the confused and slightly flustered? look on his face. "Well, either way it was meant, it's nice to know someone cares. Thank you Target." she digs through her bag and hands him some water.\\
[07/29 08:52pm]   Rookie Miss Charly finds herself petting air. "eh?" She looks about.\\
[07/29 08:52pm]   Lt Colonel Tegani nodnods at Ebenezer, "I know, been seeing it all day.. not sure I understand it, I never really 'got' birthdays. I mean, I understand celebrating a person, but why on the day they feel older?"\\
[07/29 08:53pm]   Rookie Miss Charly finds herself petting air and inatree."Agh!"\\
[07/29 08:53pm]   <GERM>Lieutenant Teh Dave grins down at Ari and Tegani. "Oh hallo there. I heard singing and wanted to join in. Apparently it's a delayed broadcast."\\
[07/29 08:54pm]   <GERM>Abundantly Ari smiles up at him "it was very good singing"\\
[07/29 08:55pm]   <CAVE>Explorer Target Practice takes a sip of the water. "Well, I do care. I'm pretty sure someone else does too." And there's the raised eyebrow again. Did she forget?\\
[07/29 08:55pm]   <DICE> Ebenezer shrugs at Tegani as he packs away the last of his things in his hamper. "Well, wh-what other day would we use? Erm. And y-you get older every day, n-not just on your birthday. So wh-why not?"\\
[07/29 08:56pm]   <GERM>Lieutenant Teh Dave climbs out of the loudspeaker and walks down the pole, hands held at his sides for balance.\\
[07/29 08:57pm]   <DICE> Ebenezer aughs at Dave. "C-can't you just walk in li-like a normal person?" He carefully lifts the victrola off of his table so he can get his tablecloth out from under it. "Ex-excuse me."\\
[07/29 08:57pm]   Lt Colonel Tegani considers.. "I suppose so. It just seems like it would be more personal if people told HIM. This seems more like an excuse for a party.. not that there's anything wrong with that," she adds.((Well, hm, we //are// telling him, aren't we?))\\
[07/29 08:57pm]   Sergeant Vertrose reaches out for where she remembered the crate-table being, sliding the now empty plate onto it, placing te fork carefully on the plate.\\
[07/29 08:58pm]   <GERM>Lieutenant Teh Dave grins over at Eben. "Where would be the fun in that?" and steps off onto the ground.

===== In the Common Ground =====

[07/29 10:24pm]  <srs>Madcap Catcupine Devin slips quietly into Common Ground. Looks like he hasn't been here to pick up his presents yet. It's not too late!\\
[07/29 10:26pm]  <srs>Madcap Catcupine Devin tiptoes through the snow to what appears to him to be the gift pile. He removes his hat and digs around in it.\\
[07/29 10:28pm]  <srs>Madcap Catcupine Devin pulls out.. a feather duster. That's a terrible present. He puts it aside.\\
[07/29 10:29pm]  <srs>Madcap Catcupine Devin tries again and gets a blue 7-sided die. Too ordinary. He sets that aside, too.\\
[07/29 10:30pm]  <srs>Madcap Catcupine Devin pulls, of all things, an American $10 note out of his hat. What in the world is an Admin going to do with that? He shrugs.\\
[07/29 10:32pm]  <srs>Madcap Catcupine Devin finally succeeds in pulling from his hat a large, clear marble. There is a miniature replica of the Island inside, complete with a miniature Failboat.\\
[07/29 10:33pm]  The Island inside the marble sits pristine, looking like something out of a postcard. Occasionally, the jungle is lit by the flash of a grenade, before returning to its deceptive stillness.\\
[07/29 10:34pm]  <srs>Madcap Catcupine Devin grins widely, pleased. Ah, home, he thinks to himself. He writes a little note. **To: CavemanJoe. From: Devin, Maria, and HarliQuinn. Happy Birthday!**\\
[07/29 10:36pm]  <srs>Madcap Catcupine Devin adds the marble to the gift pile. After a moment of thought, he goes ahead and adds the feather duster and the die too. He slips the ten into the donation box.\\
[07/29 10:37pm]  <srs>Madcap Catcupine Devin looks pleased with his work. He returns his hat to his head and leaves Common Ground, whistling to himself.


[07/29 11:26pm]  <CAVE>Metalloidal Elemental GeTh completely forgot about the good Admin's birthday. No, honestly. Absolutely forgot. He still got him a present, though - he's disappearing for several days! Yaaaayyyy.

===== In NewHome =====

[07/30 12:44am]   <Hope>Narrator Kuroiten makes his way into NewHome, peering about. "I know you're here, CavemanJoe," he says in a loud, clear voice. "I think it's time I told you a story.."\\
[07/30 12:46am]   <Hope>Narrator Kuroiten begins, "Once, there was a young man who was bored. He had too much time on his hands and not enough places to spend it. One day, after making his way through the Internet, he found a link."\\
[07/30 12:51am]   <Hope>Narrator Kuroiten says, "Eventually he decided,'Alright, might as well see what this is all about.' And he did. And he was impressed by what he saw."\\
[07/30 12:53am]   <Hope>Narrator Kuroiten grins. "That, of course, led to a number of stories, comrades, and Improbability, which all led to today. From one Narrator to another, Happy Birthday."\\
[07/30 12:55am]   <Hope>Narrator Kuroiten adds, "I know it's not much, but I got you a sweater." He places the sweater on a convenient length of low wall with a note that reads "**Happy Birthday CMJ!**" pinned to it. It looks warm.

===== In the Superuser Grotto =====

[07/29 10:05pm]   <QUEST>Questor Tor NaGoth says ""Happy Birthday, Dan, and thanks for years of entertainment."\\
[07/30 03:12am]   <DICE>airb0t sessine says, "So there it is. We're crazy, all of us, and we love you. I hope your birthday was a very good one, Dan. Many happy returns."