The First Bit

The Scene: The FailBoat

(Contestant Full Metal Lion has just had his memory wiped after killing the Drive, which is conflicting with his Improbably Perfect Memory.)

Contestant Full Metal Lion says “Wow. First day and I'm… hmm…”

Lavinia Charles staggers up from belowdecks, cursing spectacularly.

Contestant Full Metal Lion sticks a sign in prominent view. It reads “Wanted: One statue. Reward: TEN KAJILLION REQ. For more info, see the bottom of the Enquirer's Classifieds.”

Contestant Full Metal Lion says “Why am I putting up signs?”

Lavinia Charles flops down, nursing several deep scratches. “How the bloody hell should I know?”

Contestant Full Metal Lion says “I have no clue. Who are you, by the way?”

Lavinia Charles pokes at a jagged scrape on her forearm. “I'm Vinnie, darling. Who're you?” she doesn't much sound like she cares.

Short n Surly Darling lands on the FailBoat in a tiny heap of cursing and flailing limbs and dirty, tattered petticoats. “Fook.”

Contestant Full Metal Lion says “…Full Metal Lion… I'm sorry, something's wrong with me today. I can't think… clearly…”

Contestant Full Metal Lion says “…”

Lavinia Charles blinks at the lady in petticoats, and then looks back to Lion. “sounds about normal, for people round here. Hey, if that develops into proper brain damage, I might have a job for you, sweetheart.”

Contestant Full Metal Lion says “… How… so…”

Short n Surly Darling hoists herself up to a standing position, using the rails to drag herself up. She gives herself a little shake, all sorts of debris clattering out of her dress and onto the deck. Some playing cards, several empty cans of cider, a half eaten sandwich…

Lavinia Charles shrugs. “I can always use a properly mindless thug.” she glances to the lady in the petticoats. Like that one..?

Contestant Full Metal Lion says “Jim Joe… CC404…Watches…”

Lavinia Charles blinks at the mention of watches. “what are you on about, honey?”

Contestant Full Metal Lion says “…Tuesdays… Salesman… Punctual… Quiche…”

Short n Surly Darling is certainly a properly mindless thug! To show just how mindless she is, she leans over, picks up the awful, half eaten sandwich she stole from a Mutant (whom she made cry, by the way), and promptly puts it into her mouth. Yum.

Lavinia Charles smirks. “Perfect. You're hired.” she looks between Lion and Darling. “either of you. Jeez I should always come here more often.”

Short n Surly Darling blinks, eyes as big as dumb, dumb saucers, and mouth full of a sad mutant's sandwich. “Wut?”

Contestant Full Metal Lion says “…New Years… Insults… Diets… Sorry, what?”

Lavinia Charles smiles sweetly, like the kindliest stranger you ever saw. “You want a chance to make some cash? meet new and interesting people and releive them of their things?”

Contestant Full Metal Lion says “I… think I might already have be have be have done that. Wait…”

Short n Surly Darling tilts her head at the FancyLady. She swallows the sandwich, wiping her greasy hands on her already greasy skirts. “Choo mean like, carryin' peoples stuff?”

Lavinia Charles stares at Lion for a moment, nonplussed. if his brains start dribbling out his nose, she is not mopping up. she looks back to Darling, and smiles. “Exactly dear, and bringing them to me, so I can decide what to do with them.”

Contestant Full Metal Lion launches into song “Learn the secrets of Punctual Punching! Learn the secrets, learn…”

Lavinia Charles smirks, suddenly on her feet again in an uncharacteristic moment of cheerfulness. she claps Lion on the back. “Couldna put it better myself, sweetheart.”

Short n Surly Darling blinks at the singing Man. “Da fook?” She shrugs, looking at Lavinia. “Does this include bodily harm? Or do ah gotta pay extra for dat?”

Contestant Full Metal Lion acts like an automaton. “Hello good miss would you like to learn punctual punching only 25 req yes no okay you miss yes okay.

Lavinia Charles pats Lion gently, ignoring him as she grins at Darling. “Quite the contrary, your pay will be scaled according to how much bodily harm you're willing to inflict.”

Short n Surly Darling hrms, tugging on a messymessy curl of hair. She gives a hacking noise, spitting upon the ground. “Oi. Oim listenin.”

Contestant Full Metal Lion mimes taking out a piece of paper, and then launches into a near-incomprehensible rant about punching.

Contestant Full Metal Lion says “Did you catch that miss?”

Lavinia Charles continues to placidly ignore Lion as she rummages in her overalls for a scrap of paper. “Right then, here's the deal. You don' tell nobody you work for me, or that you even seen me. I give you a mark, you go after him, bring me the loot. Kapeesh?”

Contestant Full Metal Lion smiles deliriousness before passing out.

Short n Surly Darling nods. “Wut's Kay-peehs? Do ah gotta get those for you too?”

Contestant Full Metal Lion wakes up with a start. “I had the most lucrative– Wait, what?”

Lavinia Charles sighs, and thrusts a scrap of paper at her. “It means do-you-understand.” she turns her smile on Lion. “how bout you, little crackpot? you interested?”

Short n Surly Darling blinks. She turns the scrap of paper this way and that…until finally she's reading it right side up. “Yeh. Ah get it.”

Contestant Full Metal Lion seems distracted, but not confused anymore. “Crackpot? Yeah, sure, whatever you say.”

Lavinia Charles's grin is more than sharklike. “Swell. I think this is the start of something wonderful.”

Contestant Full Metal Lion says “Or perhaps just the continuation. You never can tell until you can tell…”

Short n Surly Darling nods, reaching into the front of her tiny bodice to pull out a can of Ol'Stankwagon Cider. She cracks it open, chugging it down. “S'to celebrate.”

Contestant Full Metal Lion eyes the door to below decks cautiously.

Contestant Full Metal Lion says “Yep. Happy happy celebrate.”

Lavinia Charles ahhs, and nods. “Yes indeed. Petticoats, Crackpot, welcome to the beginning of a significantly more profitable section of your lives.”

Short n Surly Darling nods again. Petticoats. It works. “Sounds pretty good, Boss Lady.”

Contestant Full Metal Lion says “Thanks. Listen, can we talk about this later? I'll memo you.”

Lavinia Charles raises an eyebrow. a thug who wants to talk? she shrugs, nods. “sure, sweetie, later.”

Contestant Full Metal Lion says “Okay. See you!”

Short n Surly Darling chugs down another cider. She wants a last drink before those Failors chuck her back onto the mainland…

The Final Chapter (Do not read yet. Wait for other chapters.) The Scene: Improbable Central

Lavinia Charles adjusts her hat in the reflection of Deimos' shop window, and adjusts her gloves, checking the hidden thorns are in place. all pristine and bristol fashion. excellent. she saunters over to a bench for some advanced lounging.

Contender Full Metal Lion walks into town proceeding a gunshot, squishy sound, and a scream. “Dum-dee-dum.”

Lavinia Charles smiles absently at the scream, before realising it heralded somebody's arrival. she looks up and grins at the 'morph.

Contender Full Metal Lion stops when he sees Vinnie. Excellent! The lute had been taking up too much space in his backpack. He lopes towards her bench.

Lavinia Charles raises an eyebrow as he approaches, and runs through all the kittymorphs she's swindled lately. nope, seems he probably isn't atleast directly out for vengeance…

Contender Full Metal Lion says “Hey Vinnie! You remember that plot you had to 'rough up' Meenos?”

Lavinia Charles blinks, and narrows her eyes. they stay narrowed and characteristically calculating as a smile of recognition claims the rest of her features. “Crackpot! Why yes I do. How'd that go?”

Contender Full Metal Lion says “Excellent!” he pauses. “I haven't seen him in a while though. Maybe he was so roughed up he left for greener pastures. I dunno,” he shrugs. “Anyhow, mission accomplished!”

Mildly Competent Collin Vee falls in. Literally. He hits the ground in a roll, before stopping facing upwards. He mutters about aeroplanes and panthzers, though strangely, he looks unharmed.

Lavinia Charles's grin widens. “oh that is fabulous news. perhaps he died! So, did he have anything valuable on him?” she looks over at the fallen contestant, and considers going through his pockets. still looks a bit too conscious for her liking.

Mildly Competent Collin Vee is, however, quite singed at the edges. He rubs at his soot-covered glasses, peering at the two here. Something about the human-with-cat-ears fellow just says that he's not meant to meet him. He doesn't know why, though.

Contender Full Metal Lion says “Died?! …Maybe. Um… I don't think he had anything valuable on, maybe a few things, but let me tell you,” he starts bragging, “I gave him some of the old 1-2 punch and–” he catches himself. “Right. The lute.”

Mildly Competent Collin Vee narrows his eyes at the two. His ringing ears pick up something about death and lutes. He vaguely imagines the two in a death metal band. He shakes his head a bit, dusting himself off and heading for Shiela's. What do you mean? Gravity never hurts!

Contender Full Metal Lion wrestles off his backpack and undoes the clasps and straps.

Lavinia Charles raises an eyebrow. “the loot. Not. Valuable?” if the voice were an edged weapon Vinnie could cut ears off at thirty paces. still, she flashes a winning smile to the sadly-conscious-Collin. Always pays to be friendly, at least at first.

Contender Full Metal Lion says “Well, the lute is valuable, it just didn't come from him…” he looks at her, puzzled, before digging around in his backpack. “Ah! Here it is!”

Contender Full Metal Lion pulls out a lute and smiles.

Lavinia Charles is definitely frowning now. “it didn't… What?” note to self: mad henchmen aren't worth the effort. when he produces the lute, her eyes widen and her mouth draws into a thin line. “What is that?”

Contender Full Metal Lion stares at her in an amused and quizzical fashion. “It's the lute,” he says, ducking his head forward like this is obvious. “From the party?”

Lavinia Charles snatches it off him, and holds it up, shaking it to see if there's something hidden inside. “if this is some kinda joke I should tell you my sense of humour is prone to quite dangerous and sudden failures.”

Contender Full Metal Lion says “This isn't a joke. I found a kind man named Carter willing to help me host the fancy party, and I brought you the lute from it, like you asked.”

Lavinia Charles glaares at the lute. “this isn't loot, sweetheart. this is some kinda funny looking guitar.”

Contender Full Metal Lion waves his hands above his head in exasperation. “It's a lute! Lute: noun! A stringed musical instrument having a long, fretted neck and a hollow, typically pear-shaped body with a vaulted back! Spelled L-U-T-E! What's wrong with it?!”

Lavinia Charles stops glaring at the lute and glares at Lion, now. “what's wrong with it? what's wrong with it? It's worthless!”

Contender Full Metal Lion says “That is a Precision-crafted instrument, made by the great Kittanian music-crafter Precision! It's more than a weeks JungleFighting will get you!” he turns away and looks downwards, muttering “This is what I get for taking Meenos to a fancy party?!”

Lavinia Charles continues, glaring, handling the lute gently with gloved hands. she imagines the sound it would make if she smashed it over his head. “It was a very simple request. I know you're clearly badly brain-damaged, but still, I'm disappointed, Crackpot.”

Contender Full Metal Lion says “Simple? It took me a month to set up! And I'm not brain damaged! First I had to find a place, then I had to design the decorations, then I had to decorate it (with help), then I made the punch, then I invited a bunch of classy individuals!”

Contender Full Metal Lion says “And after all that, I roughed Meenos up! And gave you the instrument as proof! And all I get is doubt and yelling. Humph.”

Lavinia Charles puts her head in her hands, carelessly dropping the lute. “Why- why could you not just kick his head in somewhere out in the jungle and take whatever dough he had on him?”

Contender Full Metal Lion jerks back. “Kick his head in?! Look, you rough something up to apply paint to it, to make it fancy, right? I made him become all fancy and cultured to come to a fancy party. How would maiming him help?!”

Lavinia Charles's eyes widen, and she just stares at Lion, very pale and still. She is aware that violence in an outpost will draw attention she doesn't want, but she's sorely tempted, nonetheless. “to apply… paint. so… soletmegetthisstraight.”

Lavinia Charles takes a deep breath. “you did not actually harm Meenos in any way.”

Contender Full Metal Lion says “Of course not! … Except his brain cells, but he's had more to drink other times.”

Lavinia Charles closes her eyes. deep breath. don't hit him, Vinnie, not yet. “Crackpot, am I right in thinking you haven't much experience as a henchman?”

Contender Full Metal Lion says “Yes. This is my first time,” he thinks about it. “As far as I know, that is. I thought I was doing a smashing job, too.”

Lavinia Charles's eyes are still closed, her hands planted in two fists by her sides. “allow me to disavow you of that beleif, sweetheart. you are, without a doubt, the worst henchman I have ever had the misfortune of hiring.”

Contender Full Metal Lion narrows his eyes. The pieces begin to fall into place. “You… you wanted me to beat up Meenos, didn't you?”

Contender Full Metal Lion says ”… And you didn't hire me. That would entail paying me something.“

Lavinia Charles opens her eyes, keeping them just as narrowed as his are. “yes dear. the penny has finally dropped, mm? and I would have paid you, if you had obtained anything worth the bother.”

Contender Full Metal Lion shakes with rage. “You wanted me to beat up that sweet little innocent butterfly guy! You probably have a whole army of hitmen! You're probably some sort of Mob boss! AND NOW YOU'RE FUCKING STIFFING ME!”

Lavinia Charles grins. this, she is used to. “aww, honey, don't be mad, it makes you look ridiculous.”

Contender Full Metal Lion gets into a fighting stance. “KITTYMORPH POWERS, ACTIVATE!” After a long pause, his fingernails grow a millimeter. “Huh. I though it'd be more… whatever.”

Lavinia Charles gets to her feet, putting a hand on Len the chainsaw. “Crackpot, are you trying to pick a fight?”

Returning Contestant Ambra butts in unceremoniously

Returning Contestant Ambra says “I'll take the lute if neither of you want it”

Contender Full Metal Lion says “Hi, my time-traveling friend. I want it, actually, but you can have it.” He turns back to Vinnie “Lady, I don't pick fights! I WIN THEM! RAAAA!”

Contender Full Metal Lion runs at the bench Vinnie's sitting on.

Returning Contestant Ambra says “oh, if you want it… well it looks like you are busy… I'll just be going then.”

Mildly Competent Collin Vee somehow was only inside of Suzie's. This whole time. Derp.

Lavinia Charles glaaares at the sudden lute-admirer, and boots it towards her. “take the damn thing.” she sidesteps the charging FML, shouldering her chainsaw.

Contender Full Metal Lion slams into the bench, running with it outside the outpost.

Lavinia Charles suppresses a grin, and slinks out after him, revving Len a little. Time for some personnel re-evaluation.

(Outside)

Contender Full Metal Lion collapses onto the bench. “Ow!”

Contender Full Metal Lion picks up the bench, wielding it as a weapon. “VINNIIIE!” he calls to inside the outpost.

Lavinia Charles slinks towards him, smiling and revving the chainsaw.

Contender Full Metal Lion, breathing heavily, walks towards her, bench aloft.

Lavinia Charles stands and grins at him. “very heroic, very impressive, darling. I almost feel bad about being about to make pizza topping outta you.”

Contender Full Metal Lion sprints the last meter and slams his bench at her. “I'LL SHOW YOU PIZZA TOPPINGS!”

Lavinia Charles slightly overestimates the chainsaw's ability to stop projectiles, holding it up to deflect the bench. it bites into the wood and sticks, growling loudly, and she is knocked off her feet. much swearing ensues.

Contender Full Metal Lion's bench bounces when it hits the chainsaw, and falls back at him, knocking him down. Luckily, the side with the legs is near him, so he doesn't become a pancake. Unluckily, the chainsaw is also near him, and takes and ear.

Contender Full Metal Lion scrambles out from under the bench, yelling “OH GOD MY EAR!”

Contender Full Metal Lion tugs at the chainsaw in the bench.

Lavinia Charles struggles to her feet, storming over to him, and trying to grab him by the front of his suit. “My fucking chainsaw! have you any idea how hard it is to get spare chains round here? there's a waiting list! I do not wait on fucking waiting lists!”

Contender Full Metal Lion is grabbed, bring his face uncomfortably close to Vinnie's. “HERE!” he yells at her, pulling out his own chainsaw from behind his back and stabbing it at her. “TAKE MINE!”

Contender Full Metal Lion realizes his chainsaw isn't running. Oh well.

Lavinia Charles half-ducks, taking a glancing blow to her upper arm, and digs her fingers at Lion's face. Interesting fact about those spotless silk gloves: they are lined with rose thorns, pointing outwards, almost invisible but sharp as hell.

Contender Full Metal Lion would be yelling “MY BEAUTIFUL FACE!” but it comes out as “MIMImIm!”, seeing as how a glove of thorns is on his face. Crying aside, he turns his chainsaw and flails at her with the flat.

Lavinia Charles has surprising staying power for a woman of her slight build and impractical dress sense. she keeps merrily clawing at him and tries to wrest control of the chainsaw with her free hand.

Contender Full Metal Lion, with his eyes and mouth closed, casts his unrevved chainsaw onto the bench and decides to return the favor, clawing at her face with his one-millimeter-longer-than-before fingernails.

Lavinia Charles screams, more from anger than anything, and brings her knee up sharply, whilst simultaneously leaning her head back and trying to elbow FML in the throat.

Contender Full Metal Lion smiles slightly at the scream, and rams his fist in the general direction of her gut, before her two hits propel him onto the ground away from her. “Zachary Dickens,” he whispers, “Sic her.”

Astral Aelita, taking on the appearance of a sliding piano, rrrrumbles with the sound of a hungry percussion instrument come to Improbable Central to devour Contestants. Oh wait, she's behind the hungry piano. Pushing it from the south.

Lavinia Charles wheezes, and staggers back, coughing and swearing and blinking blood out of her eyes. “you hhh… you mangy hh-hhuh… I will make your pelt into a throw rug and then burn it.”

Contender Full Metal Lion glances at Aselita, before glancing back. “That's kinda weird, seeing as how I'm pretty furless…” he whispers. At that moment, his Zombie Donkey heroically bursts from a bush! …and begins nibbling on Vinnie's dress.

Lavinia Charles kicks the donkey, and hisses “yes, it will be an awful throw rug. and everyone will be glad when I have burnt it. Now.” she straightens up, and lunges for him. “c'mere.”

Contender Full Metal Lion crawls to the protection of the bench, undoing his ripped bow-tie. “You think you can kill me? Nothing can kill me…”

Astral Aelita says “Pretty sure I could.”

Lavinia Charles doesn't look up at Aelita, intent on chasing after FML. “whoever you are, either help or keep quiet about this, I'm not having the management pester me about where I left his corpse.”

Contender Full Metal Lion smiles morosely, crawling behind the bench, picking up his chainsaw. “Not even you. No-one can kill anyone. We're all fucking immortal here.” He waves to a camera, revving the saw. “That wouldn't be good television.”

Astral Aelita sets the piano down a few feet off of somewhere. “Not even? I'll take that as a compliment.” She sits down on the piano, feet swaying.

Contender Full Metal Lion says “Good.”

Lavinia Charles reaches for her own chainsaw, trying to free it from the bench, one foot planted thereon for leverage. “well pardon me if i don't take you on your word, honey.”

Contender Full Metal Lion hops over the bench, placing himself behind Vinnie. He uses his bow-tie as garrote “Well then, let's test it out,” he whispers in her ear.

Lavinia Charles makes a gurgling noise, her grip loosening on the chainsaw as she struggles, tries to kick him in the shins, and indeed further up than that, if she possibly can. Not quite so eloquent now. gloves reach behind for his face again.

Contender Full Metal Lion's bow-tie snaps. “Aw man… Ow!” he hops away on one foot. “My shin!”

Lavinia Charles wheels round, wheezing, and leaps at him, hands bared into claws, every bit the femme fatale who finally flipped.

Astral Aelita begins taking notes. This is all surely going into a fantastic fanfiction of action.

Contender Full Metal Lion trips over a rock and falls on his back, chainsaw flying out of his hand. He rolls towards it, out of Vinnie's flight path.

Lavinia Charles grabs at his jacket, trying to stop him, hissing a varied list of cursewords with grim fury.

Contender Full Metal Lion struggles to get his arms out of the jacket, fingers almost brushing against the growling chainsaw's handle.

Lavinia Charles crawls forward and hooks her fingers under his collar, pulling back with all her strength.

Contender Full Metal Lion hrks and shifts backwards, chainsaw out of reach. Well then. He rams his elbow back at Vinnie.

Lavinia Charles grunts as she finds her elbow making rather forceful contact with her ribs, and claws at his face some more, as it seems to be her favourite thing, just lately. her forearm presses against his throat.

Contender Full Metal Lion ceases struggling. Nothing for it, then. He rolls over, into Vinnie's embrace, and uses his bloody lips to plant a big kiss on hers.

Lavinia Charles blinks, and, for a moment, is stunned into immobility. then she's pushing at him, struggling to get up and go for her chainsaw again because that is her trick, dammit.

Contender Full Metal Lion is unfortunately rendered incapable of using the moment he gained to his advantage, so stunned as he is that that worked. But then the moment of everyone being stunned passes. He flops back and lets Vinnie get to the chainsaw. “Zachary!” he whispers.

Astral Aelita wolf-whistles, a cheeky smile on her reddening face.

Lavinia Charles picks up the chainsaw and struggles to free it again. one hand is slippery with blood and her arm feels a bit wobbly, but she is determined to pull it loose. she growls to herself as she does so.

Contender Full Metal Lion chuckles. His chainsaw has become stuck in the ground, it seems. At that moment, his Zombie Donkey trots over to him, and FML heaves himself onto it.

Contender Full Metal Lion is carried by the Donkey over to the bench. He bleeds on the chainsaw for a while.

Lavinia Charles finally frees her chainsaw! she turns round, revving it and grinning brightly, just in time to see the donkey come to the rescue. “ready to put your convictions of immortality to the test, sweetheart?”

Contender Full Metal Lion pulls Vinnie's chainsaw out of the blood-softened wood. He inspects it, thinking. “Rusty. I don't think I've had my tet shot. But then again, neither have you.”

Contender Full Metal Lion revs up the saw, a useless gesture, seeing as how it's broken, and throws it at the feet of his Donkey, saying “You hold her off, bud.” Then he scoops up his ear and runs off.

Lavinia Charles starts to laugh and say “I don't need no sh-” and then he's running off. she screams and starts after him, but trips over the broken chainsaw, sprawling full-length in the mud they've churned up.

Contender Full Metal Lion's Zombie Donkey nuzzles Vinnie.

Astral Aelita giggles, then outright laughs, barely able to contain herself!

Contender Full Metal Lion's Donkey turns towards Aelita, with a look on it's hideously decomposed face of “What did I do?”

Lavinia Charles hisses through her teeth, and a layer of mud and blood. she manages to flop onto her side and glares at Aelita. Right. she's on the list.

Contender Full Metal Lion, smelling of pine and chemicals, struts back to the bench, clearly holding something behind his back.

Lavinia Charles gets to her feet, realising the mess all this has made of her dress. “right I need to kill someone right bloody now.”

Contender Full Metal Lion smiles. “You can send 'em Boating, but good luck killing them. Guess what I got at eBoy's, just now.”

Lavinia Charles glares, picking up her chainsaw and wondering how effective a bludgeon it'd be. “a lobotomy?”

Astral Aelita pulls out her undying, unrelenting companion, the invincible lobster, out to view this turn of events. What's he got?

Contender Full Metal Lion says “Nope!”

Lavinia Charles hefts the chainsaw. yeah, we can work with this. “shame. Still, I'm happy to help out.” she starts towards him…

Astral Aelita isn't sure who's right, about who can die or not die. People do vanish after all. Still. She quickly sits down on her piano stool and plays a calming, reverberating melody to try and distract.

Contender Full Metal Lion walks toward Vinnie, too. “I got…” he flourishes his item, “a BANG grenade!” he pulls the pin, but keeps the safety lever firmly pressed down.

Lavinia Charles swings the chainsaw back…. and spots the bang grenade. a recalculation is required, very nearly causing her to tip over backwards. as is, she manages to just miss FML, wrenching her arm painfully, and staring at the grenade. “well shit.”

Contender Full Metal Lion says “I just got healed, so I'll probably survive if I let this explode. You, on the other hand… meh. So, tell me, who else hates you?”

Lavinia Charles stumbles backwards, eyes narrowed. “fuck you.” Who could possibly hate such a sweet and lovely young lady?

Contender Full Metal Lion waves the grenade in his hand, like he's just expressing himself in a friendly conversation. “Come on, somebody else has to object to your practices. Who are they? Where can I find them?”

Lavinia Charles spits at him. ick, it's got blood in. she misses, but the sentiment's there. “why would I tell you? suits me just fine that you idiots can't organise a piss up in a speakeasy, let alone find eachother on this godforsaken speck of land.”

Contender Full Metal Lion whistles. “Come here, Zachary!” as the mount trots over, he turns back to Vinnie. “Fine, don't tell me. Where's my chainsaw? … And what's a piss up?”

Astral Aelita begins playing The Entertainer. The one by Scott Joplin. How ill-fitting, but somehow comedic, considering context.

Contender Full Metal Lion readies himself. After Vinnie tells him…

Lavinia Charles stands and glares at him, the epitome of sullen. “go ask a grown-up, dear.”

Contender Full Metal Lion turns to Aelita. “Where's my chainsaw?”

Astral Aelita just points in some random direction and hopes she's right. How the fuck should I know kid. I'm just the background music.

Astral Aelita, however, is always right. So she thinks. So it's not terribly far off, in reality.

Morose Stephenopolis blinks as he finds himself outside the outpost in the middle of a… spat. A petty one, at that. He ever so slowly grins with far too many teeth - amused? Or a predator about to pounce on dinner? (That's the thing about first impressions…)

Contender Full Metal Lion spots the chainsaw. “Oh. Thanks.” He walks over to it and brushes it off.

Morose Stephenopolis part shambles, part glides, seemingly floats over to the piano. It seems like the safest place to be at the moment… and the perfect location to spectate.

Lavinia Charles glares at Stephen. this is far more people able to see her when not at her best. need to find an escape…

Astral Aelita does not seem to mind, playing a more haunting, echoing piece as Snowman Man's theme.

Contender Full Metal Lion walks over to Lavinia and firmly grabs her arm, where the gloves aren't.

Lavinia Charles calls FML a rude name and tries to pull away, hitting out with the other hand, reflexively.

Morose Stephenopolis, in fact, doesn't look like much of a snowman, but he likes the tone anyway. He cackles. “A ssssshame your insssstrument can't play quarter tonesssssss… but a ffffffine sssssssong nonethelessssss.” He flashes a grin to the player, then the scene.

Astral Aelita cheerfully answers “Thank you~” Of course, that grab and the slap bother her a little.

Contender Full Metal Lion sets the 'saw down and grabs the other arm, pushing them together with the grenade pressed between her elbows. “This should work…”

Morose Stephenopolis isn't bothered much by the violence. It's why they're outside the outpost, isn't it? It's the grenade, rather, that seems to catch his attention. Playing hardball, are they? He creaks out another laugh.

Contender Full Metal Lion jumps onto his Zombie Donkey and rides away!

Lavinia Charles's eyes widen into two angry circles. It's not often anyone gets to see her genuinely surprised. “oh fucking hell…” she stands very still.

Astral Aelita, at some point, got up and hurried over. Only when one looks to the piano does the music seem to actually stop, though.

Contender Full Metal Lion, riding away, realizes she could use her mouth. Huh. Too late now.

Astral Aelita takes that grenade and, with an expert flick of the wrist and possible mental guidance

Astral Aelita hurls that grenade overhand at the fleeing donkey man, like a fastball.

Contender Full Metal Lion turns back in time to see it coming towards him. “Aw man! That cheapens the impact of my cowardly cheati–”

Contender Full Metal Lion is cut off by a loud fiery explosion.

Astral Aelita is now a serial murderer! What a great day!

Morose Stephenopolis's creaky laugh turns into a rusty avalanche. His frame doubles over as he lowers to the ground, cloak still neatly covering any undesirable bits (namely his entire body).

Lavinia Charles can't help a smirk at the explosion. she likes explosions. she narrows her eyes at Aelita, though. “don't think this means I owe you. though… if you want a job, I might have an offer for you…”