Contestant file:

Subject: Tabitha “Temper” Providence

Gender: Female

Age: 11 Wha's this? Eleven? Bloody 'ell, they just get younger an' younger

ALL RECORDS MUDDLED. MOST LOST. SUBJECT TO CHANGE POST-SHENANIGANNERY WITHOUT WARNING.

Appearances

Mostly, a small girl-child with a cowboy hat, freckles, an overtly wide grin, and green eyes that constantly shift shade.

General Notes on Contestant Temper

No Information.

And now, an interview, and other stuff

A viewer said, about the new contestant, “Wha's an Improbable Island? Are ya tryn'a sell me cutlery again? Or sponges? For tha las' time, I don' wan' yer crap. Go 'way.

written on the bottom of the page, and mostly scribbled out, in blue ink, are the words

“What the bloody Hell is a little girl doing here? Damn bloody Watcher,Who does she think she is? Stealing kid-

Much more seems to be written, but has been completely blotted out by scribbles. Underneath this, however, is a crudely drawn picture of a woman in red with an enormous dunce's cap.¹⁾

Another sheaf of paper has been added behind the first

Pre-Island Life

Temper apparently lived in the United States in a small town with her family. Not much more than this is known, however, because she was picked up completely on accident and further information on her was never assembled.

Island Life

Her activities on the Island are remarkably hard to keep track of due to her highly disorienting disregard for gravity, and her utter inability not to vanish right off every few minutes. Further compounding these problems is her hobby of drawing smiley faces on post-its and slapping them over camera lenses.

We really lose everything here? Balls.