While filming some of the poor saps on the 'Failboat', me and my crew overheard voices coming off the side of the boats. We quickly rushed over to film the origin. 1) To our dismay, it was not a contestant sinking into the waters, rather it was a whole collection of barnacles. They weren't just talking, they were. . .singing. As weirded out we were by the whole ordeal, the crustaceans still had sand a catchy tune, so we stole recorded the song for release for our future Album: Songs of the Spiderkitty: A collection of tunes dedicated to everyone's second favorite mandatory participation reality TV war competition. 2)

Saving Up for a Chainsaw. Sung to the tune of Bonnie Tyler's 'Holding Out for a Hero'.

Where have all the monsters gone
and where are all those coins?
when could I not take my wins
and spend it on sirloins?
I do not want a spork nor knife nor a shotgun
On that Boat I plot and I plan and I dream
of that weapon

I need a Chainsaw!
I'm saving up for a Chainsaw to help me kick ass
It's gotta be big
and it's gotta be sharp
and it's gotta be running on gas
I need a Chainsaw!
I'm saving up for a Chainsaw to kill that Magpie
And with some armor
better than some knickers
It'll save me in the nick of time

Longing for equipment
with an attack of fifteen
Using Spacial Awareness
To help me find all those unseen
Saving up every coin
that comes across my way
then storing it all in the bank
and wait 'til the New Day

I need a Chainsaw!
I'm saving up for a Chainsaw to take down that Drive
I'll bob and I'll weave
and Its hide I will cleave
and maybe I will get out alive
I need a Chainsaw!
I'm saving up for a Chainsaw to mow down those beasts
And when I am done
I'll will finally get fed
Or get some new armor at least

But then that quest monster beats me down again
Back to the FailBoat on the seas
Where that band of crazy barnacles
sing to me3)

But my quest for req will never end
I'll do it once again
it's because I love to
finally rev that engine

I need a Chainsaw!
I'm saving up for a Chainsaw to help save the day
And when I am done
I will reward myself
Go to Pleasantville for a filet!
I need a Chainsaw!
I'm saving up for a Chainsaw to have some good fun
And when I become a mech
I'll gather some more req
and finally buy that Plasma Gun!

I need a Chainsaw!

1)
Drowning brings in loads of ratings
2)
Coming soon to be screamed at you by a guy in a tinfoil hat near you.
3)
This line is probably going to confuse some of the people off the island who listen to this. Note to self: consider giving barnacles screen time.