Sung to the tune of “I'll make a man out of you” from Mulan.1)2)


Let's get down to jungling to defeat the Drive.
Did they send me plonkers with no chance to thrive?
You're the lamest lot fell off the jet
But you can bet before we're through
Rookie, I'll make a Joker of you.

Riddler with a needle –
Learn to smile like him
Once you've met the Stranger
At the edge of grim.
You're a drug-dazed bunch of raw recruits
And you haven't got a mew.
Somehow I'll make a Joker of you.

That Kangaroo has Fire Breath!
Say, Dan, I wanna get right plastered.
Arrgh, was I a fool to tip the Skronky Pot.
Just one slice of Cake or Death.
The Lion's such a Sneaky Bastard!
Now I really wish I knew what Cuthbert taught.

Take a chance!
You must be swift as a Hedgehog's scamper
Take a chance!
Wear a Force Gen, hit the Boat too soon
Take a chance!
With all the buffs of a Titan smasher
Mysterious as the Nightmare's dark balloon.

Time is looping round us
As your Past Self knows.
Dice will heed no order
When a Joker throws.
You're unsuited for this televised war
Pack it up, NewHome, you're through
How could I make a Joker of you?

Take a chance!
You must be swift as a Hedgehog's scamper
Take a chance!
Wear a Force Gen, hit the Boat too soon
Take a chance!
With all the buffs of a Titan smasher
Mysterious as the Nightmare's dark balloon.

Take a chance!
You must be swift as a Hedgehog's scamper
Take a chance!
Wear a Force Gen, hit the Boat too soon
Take a chance!
With all the buffs of a Titan smasher
Mysterious as the Nightmare's dark balloon.

1)
It's probably the Watcher who's singing it.
2)
This was written by Sessine in response to a Forum challenge.