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Shovel Training (or, Essential Skills for Warriors)

Improbable Central

Jon Bishop shambles into town, riding the back of a cow. “No grass this time!” The cow ignores this statement,finding a nice place to have a meal. Jon jumps off in frustration. “I will eat you. . .”

Abundantly Ari waves excitedly to Jon and reaches around her to her backpack only to realize she does not have the shovel! She left it at home

Accomplice Teh Dave waves to Bishop. “Howdy Bish. How's digs?”

Abundantly Ari decides to fetch the shovel

Abundantly Ari runs back into town dragging the now dented shovel after her

Jon Bishop catches glimpse of a certain tool in the corner of his eye.

Abundantly Ari swings the shovel to rest on her shoulder, looks better like that it does and might dent less too

Jon Bishop quietly steps behind Ari. He holds out his shovel, gently tapping at the one the rests on Ari's shoulder.

Abundantly Ari twirls, thankfully not bopping anyone with her shovel, she tilts her head “you tapped?”

Jon Bishop steps closer. “Did you dig anything with it? How is it? How do you feel to have embraced the greatest pastime in existence?”

Abundantly Ari shakes her head “um nope, I just saved your shovel, I sorta dented it too though”

Jon Bishop questions. “Saved it?”

Abundantly Ari points at the statue “when they tore you down”

Jon Bishop blanks, looking to the statue that currently stands. “I had a. . .? But I never..” He pauses shortly. “Uh, uhm. Yeah. I remember that kill. Uhm, the drive sure..went down uh, easy.”

Abundantly Ari nods firmly “and you were a hero and everything but then they tore it down, I tried to protect it” not much “but there were alot of them but I got the shovel”

Jon Bishop grins. “Well you got the best part! Let me see come on!”

Abundantly Ari holds the shovel out in front of her for Bishop to see, it looks pretty normal to her, bit dented but just a shovel

Jon Bishop holds it out. “Oh, this is good. Some stone and metal at the same time? How the hell did they manage that?” Further inspection. “Hrm, the blade isn't pointed..this one is for moving things!”

Abundantly Ari peers interestedly at the shovel “not good for digging then?”

Paste-pot calliaphone sits suddenly. her knees are knocking¹⁾. she hugs them to make them stop.

Jon Bishop responds, “Oh, of course it is! It depends on the strength of what you're digging through, really.”

Abundantly Ari rotates it so the shovelly bit is down and leans on it “that is good, do you um, want it back?”

Jon Bishop presses his fingers together. “It was never really mine. . .I mean. But, if you aren't using it. . .”

Abundantly Ari returns the hug and tilts her head quizzically at Bishop “oh.. I thought it was, well I don't really know much about digging so it should be yours anyway”

Jon Bishop quickly swipes it out of her hands. He really wanted the thing from the start. “Okay! Awesome!” He pulls his own shovel from his back, too. He sets his original one in front of Callia.

Paste-pot calliaphone blinks at the shovel. “s'for me?”

Jon Bishop looks to Callia. “What are you doing hugging yourself?! Help me test the new shovel.”

Paste-pot calliaphone says, “test it?” she looks at Bishop doubtfully. but then . . . he's Bishop. he knows what he's talking about. “alright. err.” she looks in her pack for a circuit tester.

Abundantly Ari grins, happy the shovel now has someone to appreciate it, she never did a good job with holes, they tend to collapse of stay quite small

Jon Bishop sets the newer shovel next to the old. “Alright. . .first is durability.”

Paste-pot calliaphone says, “okay, like this?” and gives the shovel a hefty, booted kick. it CLONGS.

Accomplice Teh Dave 's hat leaps nearly 5 feet into the air at the sudden CLONG coming from callia. It peers at her with its feather.

Jon Bishop nods. “Right! That one is holding up alright. . .now try the new one.”

Abundantly Ari wanders over to Dave and, keeping her eyes on Calli and Bishop, leans against him sleepily

Paste-pot calliaphone kicks the other shovel. it CLANGS. she looks up at Bishop. and grins all over her face. she kicks the first shovel again. and then the second. somebody is feeling braver, now the scary guy has gone.

Accomplice Teh Dave smiles and wraps Ari in a hug. “Tired, hon?” He gives her a quick kiss on the cheek before chuckling at Dex. “It's alright. I'll see 'em again sometime. And we've got plenty of pets at home.

Jon Bishop inquires. “Hrm. . .both are doing okay. The new one is already dented though..” He lifts up the old shovel in a sword-fighting fashion. “Bring it on!”

Accomplice Teh Dave blinks over at Bish. Did he just challenge Calli to a shovel-duel? This should be interesting.

Abundantly Ari nods and sniggles into the hug “yep”

Paste-pot calliaphone says, “whut?” and stumbles back from Bishop, grabbing the other shovel in her panic. “DON'KILLME!” she waves the shovel randomly overhead.

Abundantly Ari frowns at a gremlin, tolerance declines when sleepy

Accomplice Teh Dave smiles and rests his chin on Ari's head, watching calli and bish curiously.

Jon Bishop holds the shovel out, trying to stop Callia's from flailing around so much. “Test! We are testing!”

Accomplice Teh Dave snickers and squeezes Ari, watching. Teh sets about rolling up the diagrams and calculations.

Spandex clamps her hand over her mouth to muffle her laughter.

Paste-pot calliaphone says, “i can't DO TESTS! i never went to SCHOOL! This is worse'nthose FORMS yougotta fill in for the DRIVE now!” her shovel-waving is unbalancing her somewhat.

Abundantly Ari kisses Dave's cheek and hugs tight “I am going to sleep now” she would give hugs to Calli and Bishop but they are dueling so she waves instead, hugs Dex and wanders off sleepily

Jon Bishop begins tapping Callia's shovel side to side, in an attempt to keep her balanced. “No! You don't take the test, the shovels are!”

Paste-pot calliaphone waves her shovel in Ari's direction briefly. the intention is a farewell greeting. it might be rather hard to tell though.

Accomplice Teh Dave watches Ari go with a smile. He'll catch up with her later. He reaches down to collect Teh and plop him on his head as he hops back to sit on the stocks.

Paste-pot calliaphone stares at Bishop, mid-swing. “the. . . the shovels have to fill in forms now?” oh man, this island gets weirder and weirder.

Accomplice Teh Dave shakes his head at Calli, laughing. “Nah, physical test. Test of stability. Of strength. Of grit.” And we are CHOCK FULL OF THAT!

Jon Bishop holds up his shovel to block the swing. “No. . .not like, real forms. It's uh, more of a mental thing, I guess. The shovel with the higher score wins.”

Paste-pot calliaphone looks to Dave, kinda panicky, but . . . she's GOTTA IMPRESS. “stability. str-strength. right.” oh dear. “grit. i can do grit.” she grits her teeth and swings at Bishop's shovel with her own.

Paste-pot calliaphone 's eyes cross as the shovels connect. The CLONNGGG is deafening, and she appears to blur slightly with the vibration.

Accomplice Teh Dave blinks. Perhaps he's given her the wrong impression. He shrugs. At the very least, this should be entertaining to watch. He swings his legs as he watches, tail flicking amusedly.

Jon Bishop flinches when the shovels collide, as he was expecting a much weaker swing. “Agh! Er, uhm. Uh, That's more like it!” He throws a retaliatory swing.

Paste-pot calliaphone says, “waaaughhh!” and attempts to defend herself, arms raised. fortunately, she does not drop the shovel, and by some miracle, blocks the attack. another CLANNNG and she staggers back a pace.

Jon Bishop grins. That last smashed the dent on the new shovel back in place. “I need to try both!” He prepares to toss the shovel. “Trade on three! One, two, three!”

Jon Bishop tosses the old shovel in the air, hopefully gently enough that it can be caught with ease.

Paste-pot calliaphone says, “WhatNOW? throwing?” and she hurls her shovel wildly away from her, trying to catch the inbound one before it catches her. Catching is not her strong point.

Paste-pot calliaphone catches hold of the very end of the handle. The momentum drags her, and she staggers in a circle, swinging it low in an attempt to regain - er, gain - control. It sweeps for Bishop's feet.

Jon Bishop is smacked in the chest by the handle of the tossed shovel. “Ugh! Hell! I didn't mean frisbee the damn thing!” He scrambles to pull it from the ground.

Jon Bishop winces, finding a shovel aiming for his face as he kneels down. “Oh shit!” He plants his shovel vertically into the ground, lifting himself off of the ground by hanging on to the top.

Paste-pot calliaphone yells “SORREEEE” as she continues to stagger round in the circle. when she reaches 180 degrees from Bishop, her grip gives out.

Paste-pot calliaphone's tin-opener chooses this moment to tumble from her pocket, unravelling its string as it does so. Callia's feet become immediately entangled, as the shovel leaves her hands.

Jon Bishop stares downward. “Huh?” He swing came up short, and didn't ram into his shovel at all. Jon begins losing his balance atop his shovel, and tilts to the side, eventually tumbling over face first.

Accomplice Teh Dave applauds wildly at the show, whooping and hollering in delight.

Paste-pot calliaphone lands accordion first, hands over her her eyes so she can't watch her shovel fly . . . straight towards the window of Suzie's.

CRASH

Accomplice Teh Dave watches the shovel fly and winces slightly, then laughs again. He hops off the Stocks and saunters over to Suzie's, slipping inside through the front door.

Accomplice Teh Dave emerges after some harsh words, exchange of cigs and some req, and hands the shovel to calli. “Watch next time.” He grins, then tips Teh. “Take it easy folks.” Exeunt.

Paste-pot calliaphone peers out from behind her hands. she says, “ohbollocks” and then twists round to see what happened to Bishop. “OH NO BISHOP ARE YOU DEAD?”

Paste-pot calliaphone takes the retrieved shovel, and blinks. “watch? watch. ok i can do that.” she so can't.

Jon Bishop coughs up a chunk of dirt as his gets up. Fortunately dirt tastes like victory to him. “Agh, uhm. Yeah, I mean no. I'm alive.” He winces as the broken window. “Ah, erm. Should we run?”

Paste-pot calliaphone says, “oh PHEW!” and then, “well, i think mebbe Dave smoothed things ov- what am i saying, of course we should RUUUUN!” she attempts it. still tangled. “gahh”

Jon Bishop runs over to Suzie's, opening the door. “I'll uh, stop the culprit who uh, did this!” A hammer flies towards Bishop from the inside. He slams the door shut. “AH, yeah. Running is good!”

Jon Bishop grunts, running over to Callia. “Dammit, we can't have you as a witness!” He tries to help untangle her. “What the?!”

Paste-pot calliaphone unravels the string from around her feet, and bundles it up with Egbert, back into her pocket. “like i said, RUUUUUN” and she runs, or rather stumbles out of the outpost, shovel in hands.

Jon Bishop lets out a breath. “Okay, good!” He sprints his way out as well. Running away is what he does best, after all.

Paste-pot calliaphone glances back shamefacedly, having abandoned a clannie in hostile territory. Cakey is right, she's a Terrible Soldier. she scarpers.

An infuriated Suzie rams open her door, cursing as she tosses a few last tools at them as they flee.

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