====== The Watcher ======

The [[Watcher]] is a woman with a Southern((Many planets have a South)) English accent, appearing somewhere in her late 20's or early 30's.  She commonly wears a red turtleneck sweater and round, black-framed glasses.

Her exact position((Hur, hur, hur)) on the Island is unclear, but she does seem to fulfill many roles, from taunting Disgraced Contestants on the [[Failboat]] to awarding [[glory]] points, to more recently helping out [[newbies]] via a mechanical centipede((Not Hax.)) inserted into the ear canal.((Theirs, not her own.))

Being a blonde, intelligent, attractive, and somewhat well-endowed((Can I reference the foot-jokes that are after this? Or is that too meta?))((It's allowed, but only on the [[time travel]] page. So, no. And know no one has any idea what this discussion is about.)) woman, [[rumor|rumours]]((Sorry, [[Caveman Joe]], but while we'll accept the 'u' in a lot of words, this one just looks silly with it.))((Bollocks, you dirty Colonials just don't know the Queen's English.))((Sure we do; we just think it looks funny.))(([[Meremidia|Cana]][[PotatoPancakes|dians]] appreciate the extra vowels!))((God Save the Queen! Let's go drink!))((Hurray! Last one to the tavern pays!))((Seems that Joe will be paying for a few [[gargleblaster|pan-galactic gargleblasters]] tonight!))((C'mon, guys! Honour the Commonwealth!))((Shouldn't that be Commounwealth?))((Secretly, the whole thing is just a plot by the palindromes. Soon, they'll remove the "o".))((Free [[cake]] for anyone who adds an extra 'u' to several wourds pointlessly, in honour ouf the Queen!)) naturally abound regarding her sexual ourientation ((Mostly she just likes [[you]], but don't tell anyone!  You were supposed to forget.))((Needs more 'u'!)).  [[rumor|Rumours]] also abouund regaruding her mental ourientation, exact age, nationality, and whetuher she's merely a buy-uprouduct of the [[Improbability Drive]].

The [[Enquirer]] is currently pesteriuuuuuuuu((Can I have some cake now?))ng her for the rest of an interview. She may respond; she may not.  Until she does, we'll have little information to go on. The Watcher delivered the first part of her life story (along with a severe beating) to the staff of Enquirer [[http://enquirer.improbableisland.com/article.php?story=the_watcher_part_one|here]].

The [[Collateral Damage Adventuring Guild]] has named her an honourary member due to her encouragement and observation of [[There Is No Overkill|Rule 37]].  She has not yet seen fit to comment upon this dubious [[Glory|honor]]((Or honour, if you prefer))((Oh, I'd prefer to be on 'er, alright)), if indeed it can be called such a thing.

There have been muttuerings lately of her befriending [[you|a contestant]] on the island. But they're just ruumors.((Or rumours.))