====== The Jerkymaster ======

An incredibly good-looking, fast and furious [[midget]] warrior, dedicated to defending his way of life from the murderous [[Newbies]] who come to rob midgets in the town of [[Squat Hole]]. He has recruited a mighty army of midget dopplegangers to this cause, all of them armed with [[plasma gun|plasma guns]] and ready to lay down their lives to defeat the [[Newbie Menace]].

The occasional act in his name that might be construed as helpful to Newbies has been explained as the work of [[Jerkygangers]].

[[the jerkymaster|He]] <del>is</del> was for a while((Both [[hajen]] and [[Demosthenes]] have now attained the same stratospheric height.)) the only contestant on the Island to have reached 1,000 [[PvP]] victories, a feat he accomplished in the [[Pilot]]. However, in Season One he has only been heard from a handful of times.((<del>During said season, he was once thought to be [[Kira]], though now that [[rumor]] has been rendered false.</del> NO ONE CARES))There is a [[rumor]] that he has actually been trapped in an improbability-filled cotton candy machine. He pops out occasionally to say hi, complain about how no one ever invites him to their weddings, and offer his assistance in eradicating the [[Newbie Menace]].