The NEW Improbable Island Wiki is at [[https://wiki.improbableisland.com]]. This is the OLD Improbable Island Wiki, and you can't touch it, nyah. In 2023 we did a server move, and decided to salvage the Wiki from the wreckage of the Enquirer. The old wiki, having existed in an extremely buggy and borderline-usable state for several years, was pretty out of date - our choices were to either bring back the wiki as it was and give ourselves a lot of out-of-date info to clean up, or preserve the old wiki for historical purposes and let folk copy-paste the still-useful stuff into a brand new shiny wiki. Following consultation with the Beasts of Banter, we decided the split-Wiki approach was the best way to blah blah blah whatever, what would a politician say, //bring Improbable Island forward into a bright new future while preserving our heritage and history,// something like that. Anyway this is read-only so you can't change any pages, the cringey bollocks you wrote in 2009 is here forever now, good thing we told you not to put your real name on it huh, eat shit facebook ====== Oh no! ====== Welcome to Madness(( -Gasp- I'm already mad! ))! This is **[[Improbable Island]]**'s how-to-play [[Wiki]].((Are you sure about that?))((No, you're going to learn how to play Improbable Island, not how to play Wiki, you idiot.))((But I want to learn how to play wiki...))((...aren't you playing it now?)) Here, you'll find a labyrinth of misinformation about the game in a delicious [[50_50|50/50]] black forest cakemix of true tales and the taller kind ((Lies. We mean [[lie|lies]]. Lightly sprinkled with [[treason]]. And also [[lions]], though those aren't outright. They're actually sneaky bastards.)). So grab your ball of [[kittymorph|string]], tie it tight to your nearest sturdy item of [[places:basicplacesiii|furniture]] and get ready for a ramble through a maze of [[bingo_hall|Dunbernarding]] proportions. ===== AND IF YOU'RE NEW ===== **Read this.** **READ THIS**. Believe us, this section's pages are //very important//. We know it's confusing, first off, to be faced with all these billions of pages flapping around in your face like broken-hearted pigeons on steroids, but we promise that a quick whiz((Don't forget to flush!)) through the next three in this section is going to be Very Good For You.((**Castor oil not included.**))((Side effects will vary with intensity of dosage's))((Improbability is a hell of a drug, MMMK?)) * **On that note, take a look at the [[newbie_advisory|Rookie Advisory]] and the[[http://improbableisland.com/runmodule.php?module=newbfaq&op=rules|FAQ]]**((This link currently does not work when clicked here, due to the FAQ affecting your navs. You can view the FAQ under any chat in game.))((Not to be confused with the [[effayque|effayque]]))((Also not to be confused with the //very// out of date [[http://www.improbableisland.com/petition.php?op=faq|FAQ]].)). They are both lie-free((Free lies?! Hot diggity Damn! I gotta get me some of that!))! //You probably need to read these to survive.//((Or at the very least, need it to know how the hell you play this game. And yes, the Rookie Advisory IS lie-free.)) * **[[How to Win Friends and Influence Roleplayers]]** And, if you're going to //roleplay// on the Island, read this also! * **[[Advanced Roleplaying]]** And when you're done reading that one, you should have a look at this as well!\\ * After you've finished with the basics of roleplaying, it's time to get acquainted with the setting and backstory of Improbable Island, known as the **[[Canon]].** * **[[rookie_greeting_guide|How to Greet Rookies]]** For when you're settled in a bit and want to pass on the friendly vibes. \\ And when you're done to death with the wiki, head over to the [[http://enquirer.improbableisland.com/forum/index.php?forum=14|Forum of Filth]] ((It's quite clean, we promise- [[Marly]] mopped it all up yesterday.)) and see what the argument of the day happens to be((It's clam chowder. It's always clam chowder.))((Some Veterans [[lie|claim]] it was once tomato soup. They are wrong.))! \\ ===== Quick Lists to Interesting Places ===== Here are things you might want to read if you want to know what a [[Zolotisty]] is, or [[Squat_hole|where not to sleep for the night]], or [[mutant|why those people have many more arms than you]], or why you've been [[newbie_advisory|dropped naked into the middle of an outpost]], or even what the hell a [[Banter|Chat Channel]] is. These links are for //you//, for when you need details on anything, you want to get a grip on how people write or you just feel like enjoying [[GERM_compendium_nonsensica|a few scenes]] we've hijacked into existence for your visual delectation. Flit around! It's all there for your well-being and general warm fuzzies. * **[[scene_index|The Scene Index]]** is where we list most of the madder stories. Or just the ones we've remembered to scrape up and put down. * **[[dramatis_personae|This list]]** is where many characters are paired with their biographies. Feel free to add your own. * **[[moderation_policies|Here are the mods]]** chanting in unison! * **[[Classifieds|Right here]]** is the Enquirer's classifieds section. Place an advert, or look to see what's available! ((It's free to use... unless you want people to have contact information. //That'll cost you.//)) * **[[real_estate_listing|And HERE]]** is a record of most of the Places on the Island. * **[[places:start|This]]** is where you want to go if you're interested in building a Place of your own, and would like to know how to do it. ((Learn how not to drive a nail through your thumb, or your neighbours'!))((Driving your neighbours through your thumb //stings.//)) * **[[clans|This page is the Clans page]]**, the list of all the clans on the island. Useful, no? * **[[greasemonkey|The GreaseMonkey Page]]** is a list of GreaseMonkey scripts you can use to customize and improve your Island experience. ((These are all player created, and quite good!)) * **[[http://thedarkworld.net/projects/ii.php|More GreaseMonkey, and Other Fine Tools:]]** A collection of useful scripts and tools made by Rentoraa. ((Free to use! But cigs are always nice :p)) * **[[Snippets]]** of the best roleplaying. * **[[Titles]]** and what they signify! * **[[history_mister_stern_doesn_t_know|History Mister Stern doesn't know.]]** A compendium of the major events of the Island that //aren't// recorded in the NewHome Museum. * **[[Outposts]]** The towns! * **[[Races]]** A mostly reliable listing of Who is What. * **[[Food, (Nom nom!)]]** What all those funny numbers in restaurants mean. How it all works. * **[[Meat]]** The list of what gives you the finest cuts, and the worst. * **[[Monster List]]** A possibly reliable listing of What is What. * **[[Monthly Mementos]]** list for those curious what those things in the Fancy Shoebox do. * **[[Mighty Magpie Cards]]** A list of the cards in the world's greatest Island fan-art project that you can actually play games with. * **[[Quests]]** The in-game quests Dan //doesn't// send you on. WARNING: canon plot spoilers! * **[[Text Color List]]** * Been gone a while? Check out [[What's New]]! * [[http://www.improbableisland.com/writingtool.php|A nifty keen tool to help you write stuff on the Island!]]((Nifty means "particularly good, skillful, or effective" and keen means "having or showing eagerness or enthusiasm." While this tool is particularly good and effective, it can not be truly defined as having or showing eagerness, nor enthusiasm, because it is inanimate, making this tool simply a nifty one to help you write stuff on the Island.)) \\ ===== Feel like Wiki-ing? ===== It's not too difficult to set up an account at the Enquirer, and once you have one, [[how_to_use_the_wiki_of_lies|you can edit, add to, vandalize or change this page and any others in any fashion you see fit]]. Check out [[http://www.dokuwiki.org/syntax|this page]] for instructions on how to edit a page; then [[playground|try your hand at editing one here]]. Please bear in [[mind]] that you'll have to decide for yourself how much [[cake|truth]] any individual page contains. The Wiki of Lies((And [[Treason]])) is like that. So! [[new_page|Make some pages]]. [[Soon]]((Or now, if you feel like it.)). Don't forget to [[lie]]. Use the [[Sitemap]] in the bottom right corner as a reference guide when you're creating a page, so you don't go creating multiple pages that contain the same info (such as [[Housing]] vs. [[Dwellings]], [[Cake]] vs. [[The Cake]]).((Then again, maybe you want to create duplicate pages. Who knows what your goals are?)) Pages are [[index]]ed in the Sitemap automatically. ==== A sampling of delightful topics! ==== Links! Green! Red! Other red! Half-assed efforts and unobtainable ambitions! Pointless references to songs and/or poems! In-jokes that don't make any sense anymore! Memes from 2008! * [[The Game]]((Don't click this if you value your last shreds of [[sanity]].)) * [[Truancy]] * [[Improbablenewsnetwork|Improbable News Network]] * [[Music]] * [[Improbable Events]] ((Like everything in your life now. Don't be a Joker.)) * [[Roleplaying]] A list of large-scale plots people have, and have had going in the game. * [[Camping Out]] * [[Enquirer]], for if you ever get curious about what it is, exactly, that you are holding. It's a half-assed collection of [[lie|lies]] printed to obfuscate the true whereabouts of the Enquirer's staff full of immutable facts. * [[Lions]] * [[list_of_things_you_can_do_to_gremlins|List of Things You Can Do to Gremlins]] * [[Too Much II]] * [[Medals]] \\ \\ And that's just a small slice of what we have to offer! Here's your ball of string, there's your own [[3000_pages|personal]] labyrinth of Crete [[Crate]],((Complete with bloodthirsty [[page 3|Full Metal Lion]] in the center, wondering why one would need a ball of string to get out of a labyrinth; a labyrinth is, by definition, simply a single unicursal nonbranching path that twists and turns but ultimately-- hey, where are you going?)) and there's your sanity. You can wear it like a [[hat]] as you explore. Enjoy!