Medals! That's right, folks! [[Here]] on [[Improbable_Island|the Island]], [[you]] can earn medals. Such as... ==== Awarded for Misadventure ==== === Cryptic Answers === {{ http://www.improbableisland.com/images/medals/medal_crypticjoker.png|Obviously, you earn this medal by toppling a skyscraper. Now go find a skyscraper. }}Some say that this medal can only be gained by climbing the highest mountain near CC404 and meditating there for three days, until a giant bald eagle swoops down from on high to tell you the meaning of life in a manner that will take you 50 years to puzzle out. They are wrong. === Friend of the Hedgehogs === {{ http://www.improbableisland.com/images/medals/medal_audreyhedgie.png|Hedgehogs? HEDGEHOGS?}}This medal is awarded by [[Crazy Audrey]] and her kittens. For spending 1,000,000 50 [[req]] on fondling them. Sometimes you will play [[Crazy Audrey]]'s game and three Hedgehogs will pop out of her baskets. === Stock Hog === {{ http://www.improbableisland.com/images/medals/medal_stockhog.png}}Awarded for inventing and abusing [[Time Travel]]. === Pinata Punisher === {{ http://www.improbableisland.com/images/medals/medal_pinata.png}}Just keep whacking the pinata in the common ground. \\ \\ \\ Hard. === Pervy Kitten Fancier === {{ http://www.improbableisland.com/images/medals/medal_audreykitty.png}}Sometimes you will play [[Crazy Audrey]]'s game and triplet kittens will come out of her baskets. You're good luck! \\ \\ \\ === Really Awesome Kiss === {{ http://www.improbableisland.com/images/medals/medal_kissingbooth.png}}Check out the Kissing Booth in the Common Ground at Kittiana. \\ \\ \\ \\ === Museum Marketeer === {{ http://www.improbableisland.com/images/medals/medal_museumquest.png}}Visit the New Home museum, Look at all the exhibitions. The Museum Curator will brush by your shoulder and mutter something about mutant pineapples. Now here you need to be careful. If you don't say anything, nothing will happen. If you offer him a nod and complain about their prices. You will get security guards attacking you at the sight. He gives that out as a false question to lure cheaters. The right thing to say is to say "No, thank you. My tea already has coconuts." . . . . .((What, are we playing complete the story game?))((Oooh ooh I //love// that game! Me next!)) \\ \\ \\ === Failcake Fancier === {{ http://www.improbableisland.com/images/medals/medal_failcake.png}}Get a //great// slice of cake in AceHigh. \\ \\ \\ \\ === Skronky Disaster === {{ http://www.improbableisland.com/images/medals/medal_tippedskronky.png}}Just keep hacking your sputum into the Skronky's pot- just a little bit more... \\ \\ \\ \\ ==== Awarded for Knowledge Purchased ==== === Maiko's Meat School === {{ http://www.improbableisland.com/images/medals/medal_maiko.png|Not awarded for serial killing. So you can stop trying to stab me now.}}Take some butchering and cooking lessons at Maiko's Cookery Academy in Kittania. \\ \\ \\ \\ === Cuthbert's Academy of Lingual Defence === {{ http://www.improbableisland.com/images/medals/medal_cuthbert.png| Warning: Costs twenty more cigs than promised.}}Learn to swear with ease at Cuthbert's in Pleasantville. \\ \\ \\ \\ === Strategy Seeker === {{ http://www.improbableisland.com/images/medals/medal_strategy.png|It also may involve only moving diagonally.}}For a mere five Requisition, we'd tell you that you need to get this medal before your first DK, if you're to get it at all. We'd also tell you to look in [[Newhome|Squatville 404]]. \\ \\ \\ === Bearer of the Map === {{ http://www.improbableisland.com/images/medals/medal_islandmap.png}}Some claim that you can get this by purchasing the [[map]] at [[the_communications_tent|The Comms Tent]].((But these people are [[you|vicious liars]].)) \\ \\ \\ \\ ==== Crates ==== === Supreme Crate Finder === {{ http://www.improbableisland.com/images/medals/medal_crategold.png}}We likes [[crate|crates]]! Things you can make with crates: * [[crate_chip_cookies|Crate Chip Cookies]]((mmmmmm!!!)) * [[req|Mulah]] * More [[crate|crates]]! {{ http://www.improbableisland.com/images/medals/medal_cratebronze.png|An old artifact. Or, hey, maybe not.}}And yes, this medal is, at the moment((2 minutes ago.. )), given out for both finding a couple of crates and A BUNCH of crates((We bow to you!)). === Expert Crate Finder === {{ http://www.improbableisland.com/images/medals/medal_cratesilver.png|Also an artifact of the old metals. Not awarded any more, methinks.}}Gain your Master's degree in crate-finding at Cuthbert's in Pleasantville. ==== Awarded for Timed Fighting ==== === Time Tutor === Teach another contestant how to [[time travel]]. === Perfect Timing === {{ http://www.improbableisland.com/images/medals/medal_timedchainbronze.png|Can be earned in a mere twenty seconds!}}Related to [[timed fighting]], this is awarded after a chain of five million "Perfect!" timed attacks.((Perfect as in a perfect little girl, not as in a perfectly timed attack.)) \\ \\ \\ === Split-Second Savant === {{ http://www.improbableisland.com/images/medals/medal_timedchainsilver.png|Secretly, this medal can also be earned by killing the Drive in under ten seconds.}}Some time after you get your Perfect Timing medal for a 5-chain you realize that you can keep a continuous chain going between from one fight to the next. Lag can be a problem here. Try traveling around instead of looking for trouble and avoid "aiming" Right, so once you realize you can do this (and probably you have learned to employ a metronome) you find yourself in a zen like 42.6-chain sequence of perfect fights. This nirvana is of course broken by the slightest 10th of a second of lag and you stop holding your breath and check your player bio. You have both the Split Second Savant and the Master of the Metronome medal but have no idea at what increment each were awarded. Sweet. === Master of the Metronome === {{ http://www.improbableisland.com/images/medals/medal_timedchaingold.png|Secretly, this medal can also be earned by owning 25 clocks.}}Some time after you get your Perfect Timing medal for a 5-chain you realize that you can keep a continuous chain going between from one fight to the next. Lag can be a problem here. Try traveling around instead of looking for trouble and avoid "aiming" Right, so once you realize you can do this (and probably you have learned to employ a metronome) you find yourself in a zen like 42.6-chain sequence of perfect fights. This nirvana is of course broken by the slightest 10th of a second of lag and you stop holding your breath and check your player bio. You have both the Split Second Savant and the Master of the Metronome medals but have no idea at what increment each were awarded. Sweet. ==== Bundles ==== === The Emily Bundle === {{ http://www.improbableisland.com/images/medals/medal_emilybundle.png}} Someone should probably put words here or something. \\ \\ \\ \\ === The Creator Bundle === {{ http://www.improbableisland.com/images/medals/medal_creatorbundle.png}} \\ \\ \\ \\ \\