====== Background of JtPN ======

He was dragged onto the [[Improbable Island|Island]] due to bribes by [[Made of Metal]] in some twisted form of revenge. The reason is long forgotten, and the two now both work for [[PPP]].

JtPN((That stands for Jesus the Pirate Ninja, by the way.))((Wait a second, he named himself Jesus? What an egotistical prick!))((You know, I wish I could cover him with [[spaghetti]] right now.))((I'd be like, enjoy your [[spaghetti]], you're very egotistical.))((Next time that you see him, you should cover him with [[spaghetti]].)) <del>is currently</del>was(([[Demosthenes]] defeated him, so he is no longer the strongest.)) the strongest [[contestant]]((JtPN has achieved his immense strength due to his prolonged exposure to online gaming. Many think that he should emerge from his [[your mum|mom]]'s basement into '[[Real Life]]')) on the Island, after having trailed for a very long time in the [[Pilot]]. He tends to disappear and reappear, making some wonder if he's a [[Jokermorph]] or just a [[Joker]] like the rest of us. ((He claims that he's not influenced by [[improbability]] at all and that his tendencies toward the unrealistic are 'miraculous,' not 'improbable.'))(([[Srsly]], does anyone, even for one second, even take the time to even think about that being [[truth|true]]?))

JtPN recently released a sex tape of himself and his new wife. Reviews of the tape have declared: //It's about thirty seconds of sex and about two minutes of crying. Why would someone release this?//((Because he actually thought that publicly humiliating himself would get him some friends. What the hell was he smoking when he released it is the real question.))

Needless to say, JtPN is not very liked by other contestants.((In fact, a lot of them want to kill him.)) He is mean, not that funny, has a huge ego, and probably hasn't seen the light of day in years. He tends to view himself with importance and look down at everyone else. He also beats up [[newbies]] a lot.((What an asshole, what did [[newbies]] ever do to him?)) He is usually publicly ridiculed in the streets by most other contestants.

====== Firsts ======

JtPN 'accomplished' many firsts on this video game due to spending hours playing and blogging on the [[http://enquirer.improbableisland.com|enquirer]]. Outside the Island, JtPN's accomplishments are significantly less numerous. Amounting to 0.

JtPN made his 'acomplishments' by making huge donations and buying [[bribes|unfair advantages]] with them. Without money to throw around, JtPN would be amoung the lowliest of characters. Beaten to death by the smallest Newbies.((And that's exactly what should happen.))

After Some Revisions

  * First [[housing|mansion]] on the Island that wasn't built with outside help.((The [[Count of Saint Germain]]'s was funded in part by [[Cheshire Cat]]. It is speculated that the two helped each other as friends. JtPN, with no friends, was forced to fund his mansion himself.))

<del>  * Currently in first in total Drive Kills.</del>

<del>  * Currently in first in Quest Points.</del>

<del>  * Currently in first in [[Charm]].</del>

  * First to have a section like this on his [[Wiki]] page because he feels unappreciated.((His unappreciation is deserved))

  *First to piss off every other player on the island.

  *#1 Prick.

  *First person to publicly humiliate himself via sex tapes.