=== IMPROBABLE PARCEL SERVICES ===

"Your words are our butter."

== About us ==

Formed in (mumble mumble mumble) by [[Geoff]]'s dad, Geoff the First. IPS has forged a virtual monopoly in terms of Island communications. Offering high-tech, low-cost, high-value, low-emission, high-falutin', low-downdortyrats solutions to your every communications need. Courier services? That's us! Alternatives to surly old men with an arse crack fixation? Sure! Why not!? Consider IPS the next time you need to get a message to someone. Someone who isn't next to you! Or even next to you! Or if you want to transport (quite) heavy things.

== Contact us == 

Registered orifices: IPS House, Fuck off you, Brawlin' Avenue Like, Squat Hole ARSEENDOFBEYOND

Or:

Telemetrix: 10277

== Products and Services ==

II-Telemetrix Corp (R)

IPS (c)

Bluebirds of Happiness.net (R)

NEXT-2-U COMMUNICATIONS (TM) - Connecting People. And Mutants.

Inter-outpost [[trampways|Trampways]] (c) 

== Careers ==

Should you want a go-getting career with a company wearing brown, please contact us at Recruitment Directorate. IPS House, Fuck off you, Brawlin' Avenue Like, Squat Hole ARSEENDOFBEYOND

== Media Centre == 

* IPS Rival, Miseryguts inc. Faces Monopoly and Ludo Commission
* IPS Wins Substantial Contract with [[germ]]
* IPS takes over inter-outpost [[trampways]] road haulage network.