From //The Improbable Traveler's Guide to Improbable Travel, Season 1 Edition//:

====== Technology ======

===== Internet =====

Widely [[rumor|rumored]] to exist, the Internet is in fact a complete [[lie|myth]].  This hypothetical construct is believed to be the exact opposite of [[reality TV]] - whereas reality TV presents things exactly as they are((Or something)), the Internet is reported to present them exactly as they are __not__.((This sort of un-reality can be distinguished from [[lie|lies]] because . . .  uhm, well, I guess it can't.))

The Internet is commonly assumed to be the means by which [[newbies|contestants]] are first brought to the [[Improbable Island|Island]], but this is not accurate.  Instead, contestants are brought to the Island by a series of tubes, originally developed by the [[scientists]] at [[Improbable Central]] and similarly named the '[[Internets]]', and the similarity of the names has been the source of much confusion.  Unlike the 'Internets,' no one has ever claimed to have seen the Internet, and it will not appear in the [[jungle]] and attack [[you]].  Because it does not exist,((Unlike Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and your Great Aunt Alice.  Those monsters really do exist, and they'll kick your ass in jungle fights, you poor sod.)) contestants have no need to fear the Internet.