Ed. Note: The entire INN staff has been beaten to death by a group of thugs wielding tiny pies. We at the [[Enquirer]] apologize for the inconvenience.
====== Improbable News Network ============ 
This. Is INN.
The most widely-viewed, reliable and important news network. Ever. 
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//Housing crisis continues. Impending war. Cute puppies!//

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News that matters. Matters to you.
We report. You ignore. At your own peril.

With bureaus in every city. Reporters on every street. 
And now. We're hiring. 
In these tough economic times, you could probably use a job.
The question is, are you tough enough actually report the news?
Are you?
Punk?

Other news organizations can't even begin to compare. It's quite sad, really.

Keep an eye on this space for cutting-edge breaking news, sports and weather -- now with Improbable Doppler Radar 9000. Our ever-popular //MonsterWatch//.  And during the wee hours when no one's watching, we offer intelligent commentary, profiles of people in power, and foreign policy discussion.

After which, it's all infomercials all the time, until the 6 AM news slot.

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===== Latest Broadcasts =====
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===== Cutting-Edge Commentary =====
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