====GERM Bingo Hall==== Metallic g_rock glances down at the waking Spandex "Mornin, sunshine! How's your goat?" Non-stick Spandex flinches, and turns to squint at g. "My coat?" Metallic g_rock brushes some clumps of hair and skin off himself "No, your new pet goat? The one you ordered at the PSK and you don't know what I'm talking about, do you?" Non-stick Spandex has no idea what g's talking about, "Of course I know what you're talking about!" Metallic g_rock smirks "Of course you do! The goat you put in Pauls greenhouse last night?" Non-stick Spandex "You look ill, g. Too much booze eh? So what was the goat's name again? I forgot." Metallic g_rock shakes his head slowly "I dunno, I don't remember if you named him or not." Non-stick Spandex comes to after another zonk-out, and downs another triple espresso. "What should we name him? Think Wiz will let us keep him?" Metallic g_rock shrugs "I think he's yours to name, you ordered him at the bar." he hears crash from the greenhouse, as the goat knocks something over "Dammit Goat! Knock it off!" Non-stick Spandex grins at g, "Brilliant. Dammit it is." Metallic g_rock grins "Dammit Monterey Esparanza DeMelocha Mcguigan Goat, Esq" Non-stick Spandex grins wider, "Lord Dammit Rhianna Shaquira Mubray Esquivez-MacGillicuddyvik, Esq." ====Bingo Hall, Later==== The wonderful wizard of Bernard is soon back in the workshop, behind closed doors; sparks from an arc-welder backlight the door. Clangs and bangs and whistles and occasional shouts of pain and/ or frustrated torment. Non-stick Spandex drags herself through the kitchen and to the greenhouse door. She peeks in, and smiles at Dammit's apparent good health. He's looking almost as joyful and rotund as Bernard. Non-stick Spandex is about to shut the door when it dawns on her (dawn of the dead? Non-stick Spandex pulls a large black marker pen out of her back pocket, sniffs it for a bit, then looks at the sign on the door: GREENHOUSE. Non-stick Spandex crosses out GREEN and writes GOAT. She puts the pen back in her pocket (after sniffing it again for a bit The wonderful wizard of Bernard carefully locks and bolts the door behind him as he heads to the kitchen for the first food he's had in... OOoooh... hours. He's famished. Non-stick Spandex eats the last meatball (guess no one else wanted any? Non-stick Spandex hears Wiz's footsteps and lugs herself as fast as she can to the GOATHOUSE. She adds 'MERLIN SAID I CAN KEEP HIM.' The wonderful wizard of Bernard hmns, and turns round, "Oh, hullo, you. Merlin said you could keep him? This the wizard Merlin, I assume? Why is he selling himself into slavery?" Metallic g_rock is still browsing the library, perusing the titles Non-stick Spandex sniffs the pen again for a bit before also adding, 'Paul, don't eat Dammit.' Sniffs, and inserts a 'Please!' Non-stick Spandex stuffs her pen into her back pocket at the sound of B's voice. She just smiles and ignores his question. "Yo Wiz. What's going on?" The wonderful wizard of Bernard reads the note, "You should do something about the tourettes, there. Look," he scribbles out the 'dammit', "That's better. Not so rude. Paul will like that. Although, I'm sure he'll not stop." Non-stick Spandex frowns, "But Paul needs to eat. Just not Dammit." The wonderful wizard of Bernard makes a little moué, "We-e-el, yes. He needs to eat, and yes, not 'Dammit'. So, shall I throw this message away?" he makes to crumple up the note, as being totally useless. Non-stick Spandex almost smiles in relief, "... so you spoken to Paul about not eating Dammit? And it's okay to keep him? You're not mad?" The wonderful wizard of Bernard ponders this a second, "Okay, I'm fine if Paul doesn't want to eat. Or even if he would prefer to. I'd also prefer you stop swearing, there's ladies present." What? Where? "It's fine to keep.. The wonderful wizard of Bernard continues, "Paul, of course. We couldn't get rid of him if we tried. When we moved here, he just followed. I think he's got a good sense of smell or something..." he seems to consider something The wonderful wizard of Bernard addresses Dex, "Why would you say I'm mad?! You didn't hear me speaking to myself did you? I was just trying to work something out, and it just came out. It did. Honest." Non-stick Spandex 's smile fades quickly as she wonders how she'll communicate without swearing. Non-stick Spandex tries to fix this mess "I DONT WANT TO LOSE PAUL UNLESS HE EATS DAMMIT!" The wonderful wizard of Bernard tries to sit the by now borderline psychotic lass down, "Okay, look, we're not going to lose Paul, I thought I'd made that clear. And whether he eats or not is a moot point. Now, please calm down." Non-stick Spandex inhales and adds, "AND I NEVER SAID YOU WERE MAD BUT YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY SO I GUESS I HAVE TO MOVE DAMMIT. IT'S SO UNFAIR. MERLIN SAID IT WAS OKAY." The wonderful wizard of Bernard shakes his head, why she has to swear so... "Um, hang on, Merlin said it was okay to move Paul?" the cogs are whirring, but no spelt comes out, "Hang on. Merlin said... Where's MERLIN?" Non-stick Spandex inhales again and, " AND DONT TELL ME TO FUCKING CALM DOWN. She clamps her hand over her mouth. Oof. She'll never last here without swearing. Non-stick Spandex shrugs. She has no idea where Merlin is at this moment. "I'unno. But she said I could keep 'im." The wonderful wizard of Bernard is busily pondering this whole 'Merlin' thing, so much that he's forgotten entirely about the 'Paul' issue, he leaps out of his skin as Spandex bawls at him, "Shitting hell! What was that for?!" Metallic g_rock pokes his head out from the library "Wait, So Merlin's mad that Bernard's making Paul stop eating and move Dammit because Dex is swearing too much?" The wonderful wizard of Bernard waves his finger at them both, "Hey, I never said Paul should stop eating!" Non-stick Spandex blinks, "G-rock. Can you please help Wiz? He's having a spell. " The wonderful wizard of Bernard thinks she's got a cheek, "You've got a cheek!" he says, "You're the raving loon who can't decide whether to stop poor Paul eating and pretending I'm mad, as if, I ask you." Non-stick Spandex tries, "Maybe he's going bonkers cuz we have no booze? But anyway now he's mad and we have to move Dammit." Metallic g_rock notes the finger wave "Well, I guess a spell would do the trick. Carry on. Oh, and Dex, I hope Dammit's feeling well. Goats have no place in Paul's greenhouse." he heads back to the library Non-stick Spandex narrows her eyes at Wiz almost threateningly, "You put a spell on Dammit?! Is that why's he's green like you?" The wonderful wizard of Bernard doesn't know what the crazy bugger is talking about, "I don't know what you're talking about, or him." he jabs his finger at G's retreating back. The wonderful wizard of Bernard asks outright, "What's this about a 'goat'?" Non-stick Spandex would throw her arms in the air, if it didn't mean this would probably end up being literal, so she just turns, opens the door to the GOATHOUSE and stomplimps in. Non-stick Spandex clickclicks at Dammit, "Come 'ere Dammit, it's okay. Dammit follows her out the door. Non-stick Spandex tries to look as forlorn as she possibly can and quietly says, '"Okay, Wiz, you win. I'll move Dammit. But to where?" The wonderful wizard of Bernard leaps onto a chair, "Shit!" he ejaculates, "I thought it was a mouse!" he begins to climb down, "It's not of course," by way of explanation, "But what is it?" Non-stick Spandex almost gets knocked over by the startled goat, "Woah, Dammit, it's okay." The wonderful wizard of Bernard is peering at the wondrous improbable creature being led by Spandex, "Is it a Satyr?" oh for fuck's sake, Bernard. Non-stick Spandex watches the goat sniff the air, and trot over to Wiz and start chewing on his enormous sleeves. "Look! Wiz, Dammit found your snacks." The wonderful wizard of Bernard tries to back onto the chair, away from the fantastical creature, "Hell on earth! What is this beast?" Non-stick Spandex gives Bernard a puzzled look, "Haven't you seen a goat`' before?! I mean, not in a curry?" Non-stick Spandex giggles at the goat droppings making a mess of her text. The wonderful wizard of Bernard shakes his head, "No, I don't believe in goats. Lot of tosh, believed by lank-haired women with a Derek Acorah fixation." The wonderful wizard of Bernard continues on a theme, and narrows his eyes at Dex, "Don't tell me you're one of that fa-de-dah lot, with your anti-macassars and tea pots and squeegee boards..." Non-stick Spandex thinksthinksthinks, "Okay. Where do you suggest I put this fixation? Non-stick Spandex rolls her eyes and jabs a finger in Wiz's direction, "you're the bloody tea-drinker. Not me. Now can we please discuss the ISSUE AT HAND." She's starting to get wound up again. The wonderful wizard of Bernard is lost. He was holed amidships a while ago. He wishes Dex wouldn't be all aggressive with him, as he's just trying to be helpful and sort out the haunting. Oh, and find out what that creature is. Non-stick Spandex hops from foot to foot like she really has to pee, "Wiz can you babysit Dammit cuz I have to try to meet Horatio cuz he really needs to fix my skin and stuff cuz I'm totally falling apart" Non-stick Spandex adds.. "And he's only around for 20mins today so BYE" and She dashes out. Limpdashes, like. The wonderful wizard of Bernard is left, alone, with a mythical beast. He offers it a crumpet.