[[http://enquirer.improbableisland.com/mediagallery/media.php?f=0&sort=0&s=20081118200113306|Emily, Please Give Back My Charm]] \\
To the tune of //Layla// by //Eric Clapton//.


To marry you it was my goal, \\
To find my true love and move into squat hole, \\
But as of now I can't take it no-more, \\
In my plans you were the only flaw,

E-mily! I went down on one knee, \\
E-mily! Now please let me be free, \\
E-mily! Darlin' you are drainin' all my cha-arm!

Told you the ring I gave you was fake, \\
Told you it was my fault, not yours, \\
I told you I'd slept with hundreds of whores, \\
I just can't take no more! 

E-mily! I'm down on both knees, \\
E-mily! I wanna divorce, please! \\
E-mily! Darlin' your love brings me nothing but ha-arm!

The other contestants, didn't marry you, \\
they were all forewarned about it, \\
even newbies knew, never to propose, \\
In my love I was a fool.

E-mily! Our marriage is in doubt, \\
E-mily! Thank The Three my charm ran out, \\
E-mily! Now that we're divorced I can get cha-arm!((Yes, I know, I used ''Charm'' and ''Harm'' twice. You try finding a rhyme that fits. Seriously, try, I want to see if there are any.))

E-mily! (Emily!)((Backup vocals. Only point they're used in the entire song.)) I'm flying solo now! \\
E-mily! I'm free of you, you cow! \\
E-mily! Darlin' I hope you come to ha-arm! ((E-mily! Darlin', I hope you buy the fa-arm! ))((I suppose. . .I did ask for it. . .heh heh, cos' she's a cow.))((Don't forget her arm.))

(INSERT AWESOME INSTRUMENTAL)

Authored by [[Max Dougwell]]