====== Intro ======

A strange door as appeared in the upstairs hall in LadyRavenSkye's house. What kind of adventures will be in store?


===== The Story =====
== In NewHome ==
<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge sits down at the fountain and starts to write on a piece of white paper. When he is finished, the paper folds itself into an origami crane. He whispers a name to it, and it flies off.


<TW>Marvin arthur dent inclines his head, looking up at Dirk. "   hope?"


<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge says "I know it's a difficult concept for you, Marvin, but yes: Hope."


<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye shuffles back to Dirk, noticing the letter writing, "Everything alright?"


<TW>Marvin arthur dent headtilts, his eyes dimming and glowing alternately as he processes this.


<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge smiles at Skye. He seems to be blushing a little. "Just a quick note to a Hummingbird."


<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye eyes Marvin, and hopes Dirk hasn't broke the robot.


<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye chuckles at Dirk's blushing, but gets a little serious, "There is a door in my house, I don't like it, it's purple, and does purple things. Would you like to come explore it with me?"


<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge looks at Skye and sees him seeing him blush. This makes him blush even harder. "Uh, sure. Lead the way. Marvin, send Dent my best wishes for a speedy recovery."


<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye grabs Dirk's arm, "Good, let's get with the wicked-y walkity!" He takes off, speed walking!

----
== In the Tent by the Shore : The Tent  ==

<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye drags Dirk inside.

<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge moans


<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye gives Dirk a hug, "I didn't drag you that fast. . ."


<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge speaks in a pained whisper, "Hitpoints depleted . . . Stamina . . . Gone. . . Self Esteem . . .crushed."


<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye looks confused, "Hitpoints? Now come on, what if Molly saw you like this?" He gives Dirk another hug, "You're a great guy, come on. We can't go on an adventure like this!"

<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge gasps out, "It was . . . it was . . . the . . . speedwalking. . ." He rolls over facedown and emits what could be a passable death rattle.


<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye rolls his eyes back, and kicks Dirk's leg, "You ass."


<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge laughs even as he pulls his leg away from the kick. "Speedwalking? Who does that? No guy does that! No straight guy anyway."

<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge stands up, apparently hale and healthy.


<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye snorts at Dirk, "Yeah, I guess I am not straight then as a guy." His ears go back, a tad offended, "It's hard. The room now, it's in the upstairs hall."


<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge says "Lead the way."


<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye nods and walks in, heading upstairs.




----
== In the Tent By The Shore : Upstairs--Hallway ==
 

<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge walks up the stairs with Skye.


<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye walks upstairs, and too a rare section of wall, and waits for Dirk.


<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye blinks at Dirk, "Oh, you're here.. alright, so watch this." He touches the wall.


<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge watches.


<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye gasps as the door ripples like water where he touched it, and watches in awe as the wall pulls away to reveal a door.


<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye admires the way the door shimmers and shines many warped shades of purple. The darker shades of purple swirl together on the left side of the door, and pop out to create a doorknob. "See, scary."


<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge enters the door


<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye enters after Dirk.


----
==In the Tent  By The Shore: The Door of Dreams==

<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye walks in through the door, and looks around he holds his head, his voice muffled by the swirling emptiness, "What is this?"


<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge follows in after Skye.


The darkness melts away, taking the door from how they entered away. It's day time, outside, the sky is a clean blue, the clouds are big and white, and the grass is high, healthy, and green.
Everything glows a dim yellow, in the sun light, giving everything a relaxing fog. There is only one thing, everything is so still. Can this even be real?

<OCD>LadyRavenSkye turns to Dirk, "What happened?"


<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge blinks. "You're the door master, Skye. You tell me?"


<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge blinks harder at Skye's distinctly feminine body. "Skye, you're a woman again."


<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye walks through the grass, it doesn't move as she walks, it falls apart and drifts off into a breeze that isn't there, "I don't know, this is weird. . ."


<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye looks down at herself, "Whoa, well look at that, I am a woman again. . . maybe we're in an alternate dimension? A dimension of freakishness."


<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge says "I don't recognize this place. Do you?"


<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge looks around some more. "Is this. . . Is this even the Island?


<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge hears a voice.


<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye shakes her head, "I don't think I do. It's nice here though, wherever it is. . ."


<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye looks at Dirk, who seems to be hearing something.



<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge looks around as if hearing that voice from a great distance, teasing for it with his ears.



<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge says "I sense something. . . A presence I've not felt since - -"



<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge looks over at the man who has suddenly appeared as if from nowhere. He is tall, but not as tall as Dirk. He is well-muscled, though not as powerful as Dirk.



<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye points at the man, walking back to Dirk, and asks quietly, "Who is that?"


<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge's eye narrow in recognition of the man, shirtless, handsome, with great golden brown hair that floats on the breeze and cool blue eyes.



<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye's eyes look the man up and down. She coughs and looks away, "He looks like a god has simply sculpted him..."



<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge tenses as the man speaks to him. 


"Vanderhuge. Of course it would be you, wouldn't it?"


<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge tries to keep his voice cool and even. "Cliff Zweihander. Don't you have stand ins for fight scenes?"


Zweihander snorts. "Are we going to fight, Vanderhuge? Is that what the scene calls for? You know I never bother to read my call sheets."


<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye's ears flatten uneasily at the mention of fighting, "No fighting, please . . . it's so calm here."



<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge grunts, his superdense sledgehammer suddenly in his hands. "I never understood why you were so big, Zweihander. I never missed a mark, I always knew my lines. I was always on time."



Zweihander smiles for Skye. It is devastating. "It's easy, Vanderhuge. You're a chump. I already know how the scene ends. You lose, and I get the girl." He points at Skye.



<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye blinks at Zweihander, "Dirk, it's because he is so beautiful, but a real ass. Kill him, please?"



<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge snarls. "With pleasure! This is for all the parts I lost to a pretty boy hack!" He leaps at Zweihander his hammer swinging for his head. The blow never lands.



<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge shoots past a man who isn't even there - he is suddenly sidling up to Skye his hand circling round her waist. "Let's just cut to the love scene, Vanderhuge. You lose anyway."


Zweihander dips Skye low as Dirk looks on, too far away to reach him. "Hail to the King, baby!"



<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye blushes, coughing, asking in a slightly heightened voice, "Love scene?"



<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye blinks at being dipped, and decides to tell the man something, "You know, I do happen to have a penis. Will this be uncomfortable for you?"



<OCD>Charming Zombie Darling stumbles into the room, having followed the voices. "Uh. . .Oh dear. Uh. What?"



Zweihander laughs. "It's never stopped me before!" He proceeds to give Skye the Cliff Zweihander treatment. Nice and sloppy.



<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge urks. Hard. The sledgehammer falls from his hand.



<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye slaps Zweihander, "Help! My lips are being molested!"


<OCD>Charming Zombie Darling walks over to Dirk, pointing to the man. She is surprised to see that she is human again, with no metal arm. But, then, this is how she always is, right? ". . .who is That?"


<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge snaps out of it and grabs up his sledgehammer again. "Hey Cliff! We gotta scene to do - your stunt double called in sick too - Ain't that a bitch!"



<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye tries to scamper away from Zweihander's lips, he is so sloppy, "Beegeuhhh, my face is all wet!"


<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge stops when he sees Darling. "Whoa. What are you doing here?" 


Zweihander continues trying to give Skye The Treatment.



<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye is ripping up grass, trying to use it as an anchor to get away.



<OCD>Charming Zombie Darling frowns. "I do not know! I do not even know how I got here! Who is that man and why is he trying to suck Skye's soul from her lips like an octopus from hell?"



<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge says to Darling, "That would be one Cliff Zweihander, top box office draw for the last five years. I can't tell you how many times I've lost out to a lead role to him."



<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye has her hands on Zweihander's face, trying to push him away, "Geeerrhaah!"


Zweihander, used to having the best defense attorneys in the Biz, is not used to being told no and having it stick.



<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge says "I suppose I should do something about him."



<OCD>Charming Zombie Darling struts over to Zweihander, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Pardon me, sir. Please refrain from sucking the life force from my best friend, hmm?"



<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge swings his hammer at Zweihander. Once again, it fails to connect, as the actor simply isn't there.



<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye finding herself free, starts eating grass, "I can't get his taste out of my mouth! It's horrible! Garlic, so much garlic!"



Zweihander once again appears with his arm around Darling's waist now, moving in for the kill, as it were. "You must be my one-shot love interest who dies after the sex scene."



<OCD>Charming Zombie Darling looks furious. "One-shot? ONE SHOT?! Oh if anything I am the femme fatale who comes after your ass with a machine gun!" She rasies her metal arm to slap him, but realizes it is human again. . .



Zweihander starts trying to suck Darling's soul out through her face. Cliff Zweihander style.


<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge says ""Hey, Cliff! Remember your fight scene with me?"


Zweihander brushes him off with a wave as he tries to stick his tongue down Darling's throat.



<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye gets up, and glares at Zweihander and points at him, "Hey! Get your fishlips off of her!"



<OCD>Charming Zombie Darling bats at Zweihander, bending backwards in his arms. "Ew! Ew! Ew! Mother did not cover this in etiquette class!"



<OCD>Charming Zombie Darling glares at Zweihander. "Method actor."



Zweihander looks wounded for a second by her barb. But only for a second. "Baby, I'm an Action Hero! No one cares how well I act." Back to sucking face!


<OCD>Charming Zombie Darling auuuughhhsss! "Dirk! Do something! Do something an action hero would do! You know, save the girls?"


<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye mutters loud enough to Zweihander to hear, "Everyone knows Zweihander is a hack. They only put up with him so he wont cry. . ."

<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge looks more angry than inspired by this piece of advice. "I've been trying, but every time I try to hit him, he just switches up on leading ladies!"


Zweihander pauses from his oscular assault on Darling. "The fight scene's pointless, Vanderhuge. You always lose to a hero. That's how the script goes."


<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye looks at Dirk, "What if this wasn't an action movie Dirk? He only has powers in action roles!"

<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye looks around for a script, "There is no script here!"


<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge looks at Skye. "But I'm an Action Hero too - that is when I'm not playing a villain's muscle. . . "


<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge says "Like now."


<OCD>Charming Zombie Darling looks at Dirk, trying to bat Cliff away. "Be the hero in the quirky romantic comedy then, I do not care! Just get this long tongued goat away from me!"


<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge looks confused for a moment. "Unless. . .  I wasn't the villain's muscle. Or he wasn't the hero . . ."


<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye looks at the field, "But look at this field! It's romantic! Dirk, kiss me! We're in a chick flick!" She points at Darling, "Get jealous when he kisses me!" Skye is so excited at being smart.


<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge looks over at Darling, then Skye. "But I hate chick flicks!"



<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye fans herself, "I hate them too, but the lead male is always at the center of the love triangle! And that is you Dirk!" She looks like she might start hyperventilating.


<OCD>Charming Zombie Darling looks royally pissed off. "So does everyone!!! Do film noir! Be the Astair to my Rogers! Be a spy!! DO SOMETHING!" She tries to hit Cliff again.



<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge steels himself for something he thought he would never do in his entire career. Ever.



<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge snaps his fingers. Suddenly he is in a glittering white tuxedo with tails, top hat, tap shoes and a cane. The grassy field is gone and it its place is a stage.



<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge starts to step. "I'm puttin' on my top hat, Tyin' up my white tie, Brushin' off my tails. . . "

<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye's ears flicker at Dirk, "Wha-whaaa?!" She seems to be calming into confusion.



<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge begins to step livelier, acting out to the lyrics of the song he sings. "I'm dudin' up my shirt front, Puttin' in the shirt studs, Polishin' my nails. . . "



<OCD>Charming Zombie Darling is suddenly in a gorgeous dress, all 1930's inspired, hair upswept, and covered in diamonds. She takes Dirk's hands, singing along, and begins the next steps.



<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge practically cavorts with Darling now, his feet tapping gracefully as he sings. "I'm steppin' out, my dear, To breathe an atmosphere, That simply reeks with class; And I trust that you'll excuse my dust."


Zweihander, now Darlingless, can only gape and stare. "Vanderhuge! What the hell is this?"


<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge spins and whirls Darling around the stage. "When I step on the gas, For I'll be there, Puttin' down my top hat, Mussin' up my white tie, Dancin' in my tails!"


<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye takes a seat on a chair and watches, she is only wearing a monocle.


<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye stands up as she realizes Zweihander is open for attack! She casually flounces over, and gives him swift kick in the nads.



<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge raises Darling up and twirls her high before bringing her down gracefully into the splits, her gown billowing out all around her. He pulls her up and close to him as they still their motion.



Zweihander, stunned by this assault of musical theater, does not see Skye approach until it is too late. The sound heard as the music ends is one of a bowling alley strike.


<OCD>Charming Zombie Darling is ASTOUNDED. ". . . I never knew I could do the splits."



Zweihander eels over and collapses into nothingness.



<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge looks at Darling, still close enough to feel her sequins pressing into him, grins at her. "I didn't know I could tap dance."


<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye raises her hands in the air triumphantly, "I killed him! Look, he has been terminated!" She has not noticed she is nude and is only wearing an eyepiece.


<OCD>Charming Zombie Darling gives a fluttering smile, leaning in softly. . .don't these scenes always end with a kiss? She moves in closer until . . ."Skye! Put some clothes on!" She steps away from Dirk, the scene fading.


<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge's groan at the missed kiss is barely audible. Maybe Darling heard. Maybe.



<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye looks at Darling with a confused face as the whole setting changes to a circus, putting Darling and Dirk in the audience of people laughing at Skye who is nude, and on a tightrope, "Damnit!"



<OCD>Charming Zombie Darling gasps aloud, looking up at Skye. "Oh DEAR. Dirk! We have to help her!"



<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge cheers for Skye. He isn't sure why she's nekkid, but assumes that this is part of the act.



<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge says "What? You mean this isn't part of the act?"



<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye is a little wobbly, and cursing loudly, trying to walk to the end of the rope. The audience is now in their underwear, and still laughing.



<OCD>Charming Zombie Darling acks! She tries to cover herself. "I hate this! Why am I in my skivvies! Why did I not wear the cute corset today?!"



<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge looks down at his heart pattern boxers and starts to blush.



<OCD>Charming Zombie Darling steals a nearby patron's bucket of popcorn and sets it in her lap. "Ahem. I do not think Skye intended to be naked."



<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye makes it to the platform, and waves at the laughing audience, "Look I am alive, I made it." She looks down, and realizes the ladder down is on fire! "Awwahhahh!"



<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge looks at Darling and looks away again immediately with a heated blush. Dear Sweet Merciful Lord! He tries to speak with one hand shielding his eyes. "You think she needs help?"



<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge hears Skye's scream. "I guess she does!"



<OCD>Charming Zombie Darling blinks, and suddenly, the three of them are dressed, and running down a darkened corridor. Thundering footsteps sound behind them as they race, breathless.



<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye is suddenly clothed and running . . . she still has the monocle. "Why are we running?!"



<OCD>Dirk Vanderhuge runs alongside Darling and Skye. "You know, I feel so much better about this than sitting at a circus in my underwear . . . NOT!"



<OCD>Charming Zombie Darling stops, confused. "I . . . . what?"



<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge says "What are we running from again?"


<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge stops as she does.



<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye stops too, "You do look nice in your underwear Dirk . . ." Is this the time for such a thing? Nope.



<OCD>Charming Zombie Darling goes wide eyed, pointing at something behind them. "H-h-h-h-him." Indeed, behind them, is the shape of a man, impossibly huge, and shadowed so that you never see his face. Darling bolts.



<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye's ears go back at the site of the man, and shivers. She bolts after Darling.



<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge takes a few steps backwards as Darling bolts. "Uh, hey there, big guy! Dirk Vanderhuge here, pleased to meetcha! Uh, who might you be?"



<OCD>Charming Zombie Darling does not seem to get very far, as the hallway in front of her stretches on forever, and the shadow looms closer.



<OCD>Charming Zombie Darling cringes next to Dirk as the shadow shifts and changes, into the form of a handsome man, tall, with glasses and sandy hair. The figment seems to stare straight through her.



<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge sees that he is getting nowhere and decides to buy the girls some time. "Strong silent type eh? I got something for that. How about a NICE KNUCKLE SANDWICH!?"



<OCD>Charming Zombie Darling clings to Dirk, shaking her head. "Change it change it make him go someone any one make him LEAVE."



<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge leaps at the man, planting his fist RIGHT INTO HIS FACE!



<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye stops running, and bounds back to Dirk and Darling. She registers the man from something Darling told her before, and gives Darling a hug, "It's alright."



The figure staggers back, and, in a fluid motion of smoke and shadows, reappears in front of Dirk, shoving him away from Darling, and looms over her now crouching figure.



<OCD>Charming Zombie Darling gives a strangled scream as his hand reaches out for her, and suddenly the world shifts, and changes, and the three of them are sitting in tiny chairs, wearing outrageous clothing.



<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge stands there, once poised to fight and now . . .?



<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye blows a feather out of her face from her hat, she now has a monocle in both eyes, "Huh?"



<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge says "Uh . . . Creepy figment of Darling's dark and twisted past? Hello?"



<OCD>Charming Zombie Darling's hoop skirt is far too big to be normal, and, after taking a step, falls over in it. "Damn it! Where are we?!"



<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge looks down at himself. "Why do I look like I'm wearing the hide of a dead Jackson Pollack painting?"



<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye three layers of disco pants make her legs stiff and unable to move, "I am so confused!"



<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge looks at Skye. "Is this one yours? Darling?"



<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye shakes her head, "If I changed it, we would be floating, in space . . ." It changes, everyone is how they looked when they entered the room, on the deck of a viking ship, which floated in space.



<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye looks around, her double monocles gone, "Dash it all."



<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge is suddenly dressed in a chainmail hauberk and wolf pelt cape and wearing a horned hemet. In his hand is a great Housecarl Axe. His beard is long, red, and forked.


<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge asks quietly,"Do you two hear something?"


<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye listens, "I hear static . . ."



<OCD>Charming Zombie Darling tilts her head to the side. She is wearing a long cape of crow feathers, and a leather jerkin and leggings. She holds tightly to her bow. ". . . What do you hear, Dirk?"


<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge listens closely. "Well. . .  We're in Space . . . And I think I can hear someone screaming . . . "



<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye looks around, "Someone screaming? Where?"


At this point another viking staggers up from belowdecks, clutching his distended belly. He screams "Please, k-k-kill me!" And then the Chestburster springs from his body.



<OCD>Charming Zombie Darling looks shocked. "But no one can hear you scream in space!"



<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge shouts in horror, "JAYZUSS CHRIST!!!"



<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye screams.

<OCD>Charming Zombie Darling also screams! She screams some more! Oh god what is that thing!?!?


<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge starts after the vicious little critter as it slithers away at high speed. "Quick! We gotta kill it before it gets big! And . . . we can't let it bleed all over the ship or . . ."


<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge leans over the ship. There is nothing but empty space. ". . . Or we'll, um, sink . . ."


<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge looks sheepishly at the girls. "Sink. . . In space. . . "


<OCD>Charming Zombie Darling follows after Dirk. "Why are there rules? Why can it not be just kill it? WHY ARE THERE RULES!!" She looks very grossed out by this thing.


<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye has a mace in her hands, and chases after the critter, "But it's so cute!"


<OCD>Charming Zombie Darling stops. "So . . . . basically. We just need to kill it."



<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge stomps after Darling who has somehow gotten ahead of him. "Well, if it were //easy// to kill. . . If we didn't have rules, we wouldn't have a movie now, would we?"



<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye stops and looks at Dirk, and points at a sink floating by, "I shall take your word for it Dirk."



<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge looks at the sink and blinks. Then again, he is wearing a viking costume. In space.



<OCD>Charming Zombie Darling glowers at Dirk. "This is a stupid movie with stupid plot holes. Why are we vikings?! Why are we in space?! When did that sheep show up?!" 


"Baaahhh."


<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye scratches her head, "Maybe this is a dream?!"



<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge shouts back at Darling, punching the sheep into mutton in one blow. "Hey I just act in them, I don't write these things, sweetheart!"



<OCD>Charming Zombie Darling grumbles, and trudges along behind Dirk, looking for the monster.



<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge heads belowdecks with his axe. Realizing that he can't make it bleed, he reluctantly casts it aside.



<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye follows after, her eyes blinking in a ghostly glow as she looks for the beast.


<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge says "All right, if we're to be faithful to the genre, we should split up . . . "

<OCD>Charming Zombie Darling frowns, and smacks Dirk on the shoulder. "No way. If we split up then I am the one who will probably die first! There cannot be two attractive girls. It's genre law."



<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye slugs Dirk's shoulder, "Yeah, and one of us will get killed. I only saw 3 movies in my life time, and someone always died when they split up."



<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge nods at Darling. "Yes, the plucky love interest generally has the best chance of survival. It's the slightly crazy loner girl who buys it first."


<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge looks awkwardly at Skye.


<OCD>Charming Zombie Darling looks over at Skye, slightly uncomfortable. "Erm . . . right. Let's not split up then."


<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye gives both Darling and Dirk looks, "You both. Asses."


<OCD>Charming Zombie Darling giggles. "Yes yes. Now, let us find this damn thing. Skye? We will have to thwack it into death, I think."


<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge continues into the hold, looking for the beast. There are noises everywhere. It could //be// anywhere . . .


<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge says ""Jonsey! Here kitty kitty! Jonesy! Meeeow!"


<OCD>Charming Zombie Darling screams, almost jumping on top of Dirk. "AUGH!! Something ran over my foot!!"


<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge says "Wait. The guy who says that line dies. . ."



<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye looks around near Darling's feet, "I don't see anything . . . maybe you're just feeling thing's because you're scared."


<OCD>Charming Zombie Darling curses a blue streak. She hold onto Dirk's arm. "No! No! I am not wearing red! No! NO!"


<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge gets pulled screaming up into the air as water rains down from condensing units high overhead. How the hell did the ceiling get so high and . . . //industrial// . . . ?


<OCD>Charming Zombie Darling is no longer holding Dirk! She looks up, and calls after him. "Dirk! Where are you going?"


<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge continues screaming into the darkness. The screaming stops abruptly.


<OCD>Charming Zombie Darling blinks. She then holds onto Skye. ". . . . . . I do not like this."


<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye frowns, "I don't either . . . we could change it?"


<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye takes the role of lead female, and slicks her hair back with her hand, and with an arm around Darling's waist, tiptoes bravely into the darkness. "Dirk is probably just talking with it?"


<OCD>Charming Zombie Darling shakes her head. "Change it Skye . . .bring him back. I do not think I can do it. . ." She totters at the edge of the darkness.


A scritching noise is heard from behind the two. It is getting louder.


<OCD>Charming Zombie Darling clings to Skye tighter. "Oh no . . ."


<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye frowns, letting go of Darling, "I'll see what I can come up with . . ." Her extra ears pick up on the noise, and stupidly looks.


The scritching noise now has a wet and sibilant hiss added to it - as it gets louder... closer...


<OCD>Charming Zombie Darling clings to her bow now, holding it out in front of her. "Oh no oh no oh no.."


The Alien appears. It is seven feet tall, black, mouth glistening with slime - and wearing a straw vaudeville hat and carrying a cane.


<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye blinks at the Alien, "You're freaking adorable!"


It begins to dance. "Hello, ma baby! Hello, ma honey! Hello, ma ragtime gal! Send me a kiss by wire! Baby, ma heart's on fire! "


<OCD>Charming Zombie Darling GLOWERS. She runs around, chasing the alien madly, brandishing her Bow. "You! I hate you! Eat my bow! YAAAAAAA!!!"


<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye's strange and dangerous creature fetish doesn't let her feel fear. She looks at Darling, "Think I can hug it?"


The Alien continues prancing and strutting around. "If you refuse me! Honey, you'll lose me! Then you'll be left alone! Oh, baby, telephone, And tell me I'm your own!"


<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye retracts her statement, "No! I want to hug it!" She runs after Darling with her mace.


<OCD>Charming Zombie Darling continues to smash the ground where the alien was before. "You can hug it once it gives Dirk back!!"


<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye wails, "But I want to hug it now!"



The Alien continues singing and dancing as Darling chases it. The thing is indefatiguable.


<OCD>Charming Zombie Darling smashes the Alien with the bow with a loud, resounding, smack!


Stuffing beads fly out from the hit as The Alien curses in pain. The curses sound familiar.


<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye's ears flicker at the Alien, as she runs after Darling still. The mace finally throws it's weight around, and drops to the floor, making Skye trip. She falls flat on her face unable to stop Dar.


<OCD>Charming Zombie Darling stops hitting the alien when she hears the curses. ". . . . What?"

The Alien staggers around now, straw hat destroyed and leaking resin stuffing beads from splits in its plushy seams. Muffled curses can be heard from it.



<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye stands up, and pokes at The Alien, "Darling! It's going to die!"



<OCD>Charming Zombie Darling kneels down and shakes the little plushie. "Who do you work for? WHO DO YOU WORK FOR!!"



<OCD>Charming Zombie Darling notices the plushie is huge! She stands and shakes it instead. Still shouting!



The Alien, now being thrashed soundly, spills more resin beads everywhere as great rents in its seams appear. You think you hear a familiar voice from it.



<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye frowns, "You don't shake things for information, you hook up car batteries to their eye sockets!"



<OCD>Charming Zombie Darling yells at the plushie, tearing the seams, trying to find Dirk. "DIRK DIRK ARE YOU IN THERE I KNOW YOU WERE EATEN HOLD ON DIRK!



<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye hides the car battery she found under a table, she shrugs, guessing she'll have to use it later.


The Alien's plushy seams finally come undone in a gush of resin stuffing beads, revealing the large and sweaty form of Dirk Vanderhuge!



<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge looks at Darling for a tender moment of sweet relief. Then he promptly collapses. "Cheque please!"



<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge hits the deck of the Viking ship with a THUD



<OCD>Charming Zombie Darling smacks Dirk on the arm. "That is a terrible line. Now. . . .how do we get out of here?"



<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye nudges Dirk with her foot.



<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge gibbers quietly from the deck. "My sentiments exactly . . . Maybe the Door Master can help?"



<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye points at a door, "Maybe we go through that door?"



<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge looks up. "Door?"



<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge pulls himself to his feet and takes both Darling's and Skye's hands. "We all go through together."


<OCD>Charming Zombie Darling nods, and leans over to help Dirk up. "Let us use it before it turns into a donkey or a clown or something."



<OCD>Charming Zombie Darling heads to the door with Skye and Dirk.
 

<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye nods as well, walking with the others to the door.



<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye reaches out and opens the door, a blinding light occurs, and it leaves her, Darling, and Dirk back out in the hall, looking like their normal Island selves. The door is gone.


<OCD>Charming Zombie Darling shakes her head, blinking. ". . . . What were you saying, dear?"



<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye looks at Darling, "I wasn't saying anything . . . I was showing Dirk this scary purple door here." He touches the wall, but nothing happens. No door. "Huh. Queer."



<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge blinks as well. "Uh something about paint fumes when I was painting over at the Cabana today . . ."



<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye shrugs, "Maybe I thought I saw one when I was walking around drunk earlier. There are so many doors they blur together."



<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge looks over at the other two.



<OCD>Charming Zombie Darling nods, confused. ". . . .Alright. Uhm. . .I am just going to nip on over here to my bed. . . .Good night.."



<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye nods at Dirk, "Paint fumes will do it to ya. Who wants a drink?"



<OCD>Charming Zombie Darling looks over at Dirk . . .and blushes, before waving. Why did an image of Dirk in boxers just flash into her head? "Erm . . .quite."



<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge says "Sounds like a good idea."



<OCD> Dirk Vanderhuge walks to his room, quietly singing, "I'm puttin' on my top hat, Tyin' up my white tie, Brushin' off my tails. . . ."



<OCD>Charming Zombie Darling stops abruptly on her way to he room at the song..then shakes her head.



<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye stiffens at the song Dirk started singing, and heads to the tower, "I'll be in my office."
----

=== The Following Day ===

----
== In the Tent By the Shore : Turkish Setting room ==

<OCD>Midget Paladin Hawkeye Hanlon waddles in for a sit down after a hard day's work in the jungle. He grumbles as he notes the pillows are nearly as big as him now . . .


<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye walks in, and gets a cup of tea splashed with raki. Really, it is more raki than tea, and sits himself on the sofa.


<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye looks over his drink, "Hello love."



<OCD>Midget Paladin Hawkeye Hanlon looks up and grins, "Allo, pet." He sniffs and frowns. His midget senses detect Skye's Raki. "What's up?"



<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye's ears flicker, "Eh, I just... had a really odd vision, or dream or something, Darling and Dirk were in it with me. It was so weird . . . . so real . . . but it couldn't have been."



<OCD>Midget Paladin Hawkeye Hanlon headtilts. He tries not to be too suspiscious as he says offhandedly, "Really? What happened in it?"



<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye finishes his drink, and sets it down, "Well like first, it was just Dirk and myself. We're in this field. Then this guy comes out of nowhere, and starts molesting my lips with his."



<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye puts his hands out, like he was trying to push the person away, "He wouldn't let up. Then Darling shows up, and the man goes after her! Dirk can't stop this guy, but then with a snap."



<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye snaps his fingers, "It all changes, Dirk and Darling are dancing, and--this whole time I am female again--I am totally nude save for a monocle. The man, distracted, I kicked in the crouch."



<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye wiggles his fingers, making them go down, "The man dead, everything changes. I was on a high wire, nude, and everyone was laughing at me."



<OCD>Midget Paladin Hawkeye Hanlon blinks, dumbfounded at all this. "That is one crazy dream . . ." He curses, "An' I had ta miss ya nekkid, but they didn't?!"



<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye holds his arms out like he was walking on the wire, "I make it across the wire, and the whole audience is in their underwear. I am about to climb down, and the ladder catches fire."



<OCD>Midget Paladin Hawkeye Hanlon shakes his head and continues listening. He's not going to begin wondering what this all says about Skye's subconcious . . .



<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye then holds his arms out in front of himself again, "Then, suddenly, we're all running from a thing . . . or a person, who or whatever it was, was scary. Then he is gone, and we're all dressed weird."



<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye then holds his arms out wide, "Then, we're on this viking ship, in space! There is an alien plushie, and it was singing and dancing, the Darling killed it . . . then it was over."



<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye puts his arms down by his sides, "Hawkeye, it was so weird . . . . so very, very weird."



<OCD>Midget Paladin Hawkeye Hanlon nods, "Ya got that part right, luv . . . I'd give up whatever ya were on when that shit happened . . ."



<OCD>Midget Paladin Hawkeye Hanlon gets up and waddles over to Skye in case he needs a hug. "More ta the point, are ye alreet now, pet?"



<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye nods giving Hawkeye a hug, "Yes I am, it just felt so real . . . thank you for listening."



<OCD>Midget Paladin Hawkeye Hanlon hugs her tightly muttering, "It's what I'm here for, pet . . . I know can't control what ya dream about, but . . . wish I coulda bin there ta help then."



<OCD>Pitiful Man LadyRavenSkye smiles lightly, "I wish you were there too. However, you're here now, you're real . . .  and that is all that matters."



<OCD>Midget Paladin Hawkeye Hanlon is deeply touched, and smiles warmly before leaning in to kiss him. "Aye, an' I'll always be here, I promise. . . "