**Darren**

A penguin.

Acquired by [[Calliaphone]] following her [[polarity_reversed_or_turning_the_tables|visit to the South Pole]] in Santa Bernard's sleigh.

Born in Antarctica to a humble fishing family, Darren showed early promise on the tubular bells, and was soon gaining widespread recognition as a musical chick-prodigy.  At the age of three, he was accepted on a scholarship to the Birmingham Conservatoire where he excelled in percussion, strings and concert ocarina, before training as a conductor. He subsequently toured with a number of well-known orchestras and ensembles, before accepting an appointment on Improbable Island as director of the GERM Sinfonia.