====== Cousjava ======

//See Also: [[The Complete Works of Cousjava]] and [[cousjava quotes|Cousjava's Quotes]].//

===== Who is he? =====


Cousjava is a contestant on the island(([[lie|Possibly]])). He is currently a citizen, but of where is unknown((Could be [[Anywhere]])). He is what some call a mutant, but what Cousjava prefers to call a Different Form Of Being((Whether is is [[better]] is [[unknown]])).

Cousjava is Mad. There are several proofs, several of which are here:
  * Talking to himself.
  * Answering himself
  * Disagreeing with the answer
  * Apologising for disagreeing ((etc., etc.))
  * Looking for hair on his knuckles.((Note: He is a mutant. Therefore, no hair.))
  * Finding hair on his knuckles.
  * The [[madness duck]] says so.


===== History =====

==== Before the Island ====

[[Once upon a time]], the person who would one day become Cousjava founded the [[BAS|British Apocalyptic Society]] ([[BAS]]((For short, naturally.))((For long, it could be called the British Society for Preparing the End of The World As We Know It Through A Variety of Methods))). This was a mixture of paranoid and cynical people((Some were paranoid, some were cynical, some were both. A few were mad.))((Okay, most were mad.))((All right, all right, they were all mad. Happy now?)) who didn't expect the world to keep on going as had been with all these fancy electronics((Surprisingly far-sighted in fact.)) and made preparations for when it ended. Hence, apocalyptic society. They also prepared for just about any eventually, having read [[1984]], Day of the [[Triffids]] and similar things. Cousjava was a rich computer programmer, and poured a considerable amount of money into the BAS As a result, they had a small island off the coast of [[Scotland]], which had been chosen as a)having a temperate climate, b)being geologically stable, c)having moderately fertile soil and d)small enough to easily look after. Large amounts of food were stockpiled here, along with animals and plant seeds. A variety of weapons were here to, from swords to plasma guns.((You see, this **was** serious.))This preparation came in handy after the EMP. 

==== On the Island ====

===Arrival==
When he arrived, Cousjava couldn't remember what his real name was. He knew it was something like Cou-s-, struggling to remember it. After a bit of thought about his past the word 'java' came into his head. He rolled them together to create the name 'Cousjava'. it has worked well enough  up till now, so he plans to keep on using it.

===== Racial Dispositions =====
Midgets: Hates, dislikes everything about them.\\
Kittymorphs: OK, generally don't bother others, fine with him.\\
Robots: Dislikes, Too literal.\\
Humans: OK. Nothing wrong with them.\\
Jokers and zombies: Doesn't mind, as all he has to do around them is keep an eye on his head((Or two. Or four. As well as several on suckers, and on his belly, and...)).\\
Mutants: That's what he is, that's what he'll always be.

===== Statistics =====
==== Vital ====

(([[lie|Possibly]]))

Height: 7' 1/4"

Waist: 1'6

Width 8"

Weight: approximately 250 stones((Weight of the stones themselves, however, is not known))

Appearance:

Human: Tall, with brown hair and brown eyes. Pinkish skin coulor. Normal for human.\\
Zombie: Like human, only paler skin and a small of rotting flesh.\\
Midget: Like human, only his height is 4' 8 1/2".\\
Kiitymorph: Brown fur, brown eyes, brown tail.\\
Mutant: You don't want to know.\\
Robot:Human body, except made of metal. Skin colour is metallic.\\

==== Not Vital ====

Cigs: loads\\
Req: More than you((Naturally))\\
Hat size: more than 50((Only 'cos I'm too lazy to upgrade it))\\