====== Chainsaw ======
A highly portable weapon of mass destruction, intended to combine the advantages of being noisy, messy, and lethal into one handheld package.  Available from [[Sheila's Shack O'Shiny]], this device is favored by lumberjacks((The real kind - not the crossdressing pretend kind in British musical comedy sketches.)) and murderous psychopaths((Again, the real kind - not the kind that run for public office.)).  Thanks to the scientists in [[Improbable Central]], chainsaws no longer require fuel and thus can run indefinitely without recharge.((Well, more accurately, __somebody__ forgot to code the need for fuel into the game, but we'll say the scientists fixed this problem.))

Recent advances in chainsaw technology, also led by [[Improbable Central]] scientists have included blade teeth that can cut through most forms of armor, making newer models more effective against metal-based defensive gear.  The major remaining limits to the chainsaw are:  1) the need to get close to a target to use it; and 2) it can only be used on one opponent at a time.  The chainsaw's range of destruction is limited by the wielder's reach and the length of the cutting blade.  As such, it will never replace the floating orbital deathray satellite as the world-conquering megalomaniac's tool of choice to wipe out entire [[cities]] at once.  But its array of slashing teeth and its impressive gore spray pattern make it the hands-on favorite for those who like their destruction up-close and personal.

Claims that random chainsaws can turn a [[contestant]] into [[Leatherface]] are completely without merit.

Fifteenth of the fifteen weapons unlocked on a Contestant's first DK. Costs 11,250 Requisition. Raises attack by 15 points.