====== Birds ======
(and similiar feathery sqaulky((squalky? is that how you spell it? stupid looking word.))((Perhaps Squawky?))((that could work. oh, and some of them go tweet, apparently.)) people) 

Birds are usually feathery((but see parasitic Diatryma)), often noisy, occasionally able to fly, and always atleast a little bit insane. In this they share a lot with [[mount|Horses]]. There are a lot of birds on the [[improbable_island|island]], because there are lots of [[jungle|trees]] to stand in, and lots of [[death|dead]] [[newbies|contestants]] and [[monster|monsters]] to eat.
Here follows a list of different kind of birds you may encounter.
===== Scary Birds that will try to eat/kill you =====
  * [[madness_duck|the madness duck]]: run away!
  * [[mighty_magpie| the mighty magpie]]: again, run away. do not stop to count him. there is only one and he is mean.
  * blue bird of happiness: run and hide!((it would appear a theme is developing.))
  * eagles. actually, they're not so tough really. wear a hat, and carry a big stick.
  * parasitic diatryma. if you start coughing up feathers, be very afraid, because it's highly improbable that you've somehow ingested the eggs of an extinct giant flightless bird. Yeah, that'd be ridiculous and utterly laughable. So when the chicks hatch, atleast you can have a laugh.((did we mention they'll be really annoyed that you coughed up their feathers separately, leaving them bald? Because they will be.))
  * [[pterodactyl|pterodactyls]]:((There have recently been occasional rumors that these are in fact //not// birds. These are slanderous [[lie|lies]]!)) rumored to be available for short-term rentals through [[the_communications_tent|the comms tents]] for a nominal fee.  It's likely that they sound quite like helicopters and can carry contestants from one place to another, but only for a short time before they must be returned. Otherwise you run the risk of extra charges and nobody wants that.  It is theoretically possible that they may attempt to eat small contestants as well.  Not recommended for use by midgets.

===== birds that are people, too =====
  * [[Kestrel]] - only occasionally an actual kestrel. Though she may also be a [[voice_of_reason]].
  * [[sugar-hi_unicorn|Shi]] - she says she's a bird. She is probably wrong. The hollow bones and feathers in her hair are all part of the act.
  * various memebers of [[chimental]] - we're not sure how many, exactly. We're too scared to count them.
  * the owl people. Don't ask. you're probably better off not knowing. Just watch out for Mister Tyto: he'll steal your name.
  * Bob Zarido. This one is also on occasion, but he'll turn into a giant secretary bird. Likes to try to eat contestants. The BFA also has some bird-like attributes.

===== other birds =====
  * duck tape. it goes "Quack". poke it and see.((Quack))
  * blackbirds. Fear them. they stare with their scary angry eyes.
  * penguins. 90 per cent of the brain is used for storing penguins. 
  * vultures. for the best birdwatching on the island, lie back on the [[failboat]] and watch these majestic creatures squabble over the twitching bodies of contestants.
  * another Kestrel. this one is a boy, and has yet to learn the meaning of "No."((In all fairness to that poor scorned suitor, Kes hadn't yet learned the bird-speak for 'No'. If she had, things might have gone a heck of a lot more smoothly than they did.))
  * Swans. Beware - there are [[rumor|rumours]] that there are non-imaginary swans on the island. they will break your arms. Just to prove they can.((we get it already! you can! now stoppitaaaarghhhh!!!!!))
  * disembodied bird noises. is it ghost birds? is it sondeffects piped in to cover the screams? is it that person sitting in a tree? nobody knows.
  * Geese. There are now geese in the [[Bingo_Hall|Bingo Hall]]. At the paddleboat pond. Wait, we have a [[rumor|paddleboat pond]]?