==Big Time In the Dojo==
//(Music by the [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1MC0HNPiy18|Old Crow Medicine Show]], words by SinkOrSwim)//\\
\\
Down in NewHome, on the Island, in 2155\\
A Rookie, 'bout 5-foot-10, not much different 'n you or I\\
He's dodgin' monsters, just getting drunk\\
Then the Dojo called, it called him up\\
Send him to the Tent again.\\
That young man\\
He got picked out from the crowd\\
While his friends were cheering loud\\
Gonna come back with his head bowed\\
For a reason he didn't even know about\\
\\
He was drinkin' in the 'Kitty when his Master he appeared\\
See his spork and his pink panties, and his face a-full of fear\\
Gotta move quick-time, back to NewHome\\
Gonna be a quick fight, gonna be a short show\\
Then we'll send him to the Tent again\\
Our young friend\\
Got hisself turned upside down\\
Bounced head first off the ground\\
Picked back up and spun around\\
Tryin' to find out what all this stuff's about\\
\\
Cause in Basic it was borin', and the Corporal he was loud\\
And he weren't payin' attention to the words that was bawlin' out\\
You gotta fight your master, and level up\\
Get better armour, and watch your buffs\\
And talk to the ones who know\\
They ain't so slow\\
Ask for some advice\\
Try and act nice\\
And they'll be polite\\
They've seen it all before.\\
\\
On patrol out in the Jungle, young Rookie found the Drive\\
And he knew that he would have to fight to make it out alive\\
Then the fire started flying\\
And he dropped his grenades\\
And he thought about the Dojo\\
And he ran away\\
You'll find him in the Tent again\\